Random Tuesday Ramblings
I'm stuck at home today unexpectedly, and trying to pass the time without moving for one day (doctor's orders) so what better way to kill time than to re-watch last Thursday's episode of The Office? It was AWESOME. Highlights for me:

Jim's impersonation of Dwight.
Jim: Question: What kind of bear is best?
Dwight: That's a ridiculous question.
Jim: False. Black bear.
Dwight: That's debatable. There are actually two schools of thought...
Jim: Fact. Bears eat beets.
Dwight: ??
Jim: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
Dwight: That's... what is going on? What are you doing??

Jim punching in the amount the outfit cost him on his watch calculator.
Dwight freaking out about identity theft. "Millions of families suffer every year!!"
Okay, the entire opening was one of the BEST openings ever.

The frak-up that there's an obscene watermark on the paper.
Michael: "500 boxes have gone out, with the image of a beloved cartoon duck performing unspeakable acts upon a certain cartoon mouse that a lot of people like. I've never been a fan."

Michael using short forms.

Creed is quality insurance! Is that the first time we've ever actually heard what he did?? "The one year I blew it off, this happens."

Kelly's glee that she gets to train accounting in customer service: "This day is bananas, B! A-n-a-n-a-s! This day is bananas!"

Michael having a momentary nutty breakdown: "I need two men on this, that's what she said, no time! But she did, NO TIME!"

Michael holding a press conference to ALERT the press that this has happened.

CREED. "The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do anything I can to survive. Like I did... when I was a homeless man." First he goes and lies about who was at fault, then he gets the woman fired, then he takes up a collection for her because she has a kid, and then he STEALS the money. Could this guy BE any creepier?? I love him.

Kelly teaching accounting how to take calls, and the look on Oscar's face.

Andy and Jim in the car, with Andy telling him to "beer him" things. Jim asking for music and Andy begins to sing, hahahahaha!!

Jim getting out of the car: "Lord, beer me strength."

Dwight readying the office for the press corps invasion, telling Pam to run a comb through her hair and putting a large plant in front of Phyllis. "First rule of roadside beet sales, put the most attractive beets on top, the ones that make you pull the car over and say, 'Wow. I need this beet right now.' Those are the money beets." Why are beets so damn funny? I don't know, but it makes me laugh every time he starts talking about them.

Obit guy showing up from the Scranton Times, and Dwight giving him security clearance level three, "Don't get too excited, that's out of 20."

Andy's GROSSLY underage girlfriend.

Angela's apology: "The official position of Dunder-Mifflin is apologetic, so I don't know what you want from me."

Kelly: "First, I just want to say is that you are doing SO good. You have so many good qualities, but the one you might want to work on is apologizing?"

Michael's apology gone awry.
Client: I'm calling the Better Business Bureau!
Michael: Yeah, well I'm calling the Ungrateful Beeyotch Hotline!

Andy to the principal: I want to take out an ad in your yearbook. Whole page, 2 words.
Jim: Good luck.
Andy: That's not what I had in mind.

Dwight saying the sex between the animals appeared to be consensual because both animals were smiling.
"I grew up on a farm. I've seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right."

Michael's apology video, with the American flag in the background that is 4 pieces of paper taped together.

Kevin and Oscar doing their air high-fives.

Jim singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" and Andy joining in.

Dwight doing his impression of Jim, and constantly looking into the camera and making crazy faces. "Nanana little comment. Nnn."

Ugly Betty
Still entertaining, even if completely predictable. (I mean, the moment Mommy Dearest -- who Buffy fans will remember as Riley's wife in "As You Were" -- showed up and said her daughter was 16, was there ANYONE out there who didn't think, "Sure she is.") I'd like to see Betty and Henry hook up before the end of the season. Will Santos work out? Will Dad go back to "May-hi-co"? How much longer can I pretend to care about the corporate takeover at Mode?

30 Rock
Had its moments -- Sean Hayes was inspired as Kenneth the page's hillbilly cousin ("we don't go out on account of the wolves") -- but overall, it was pretty disappointing compared to The Office. They had WAY too many lines to wrap up, and decided to tie them all up at once. There could have been so much more done with the Phoebe/Jack thing, especially since they've established some pretty underhanded things about her. Did Liz and the Floydster break up? Tracy Jordan has come back, and I wonder if they'll just drop the Black Crusader storyline to start fresh next year?

The Sopranos
Tony has money problems and a gambling addiction. MAN I wish Carmela's aim would improve, because watching that heavy sculpture actually hit Tony in the head would have been a long time coming. AJ's girlfriend saw him for the loser he is. Vito's son is a little goth felon. Janice wasn't on (thank god). Who will die this season? Phil? Tony? Christopher? Carm?

Entourage
Drama's ongoing feud with stupid Pauly Shore comes to a head when Pauly wants him on his reality show, Gotcha. But when he thinks he's been "got," turns out the other 3 guys were totally in on a WAY bigger scheme. The scene of Drama in the ring with UFC fighter Chuck Liddell was pretty hilarious (Chuck Liddell was famously Punk'd). At least now we know how Ari and Vince will get back together: He thinks he's having a one-off with his agent, the agent likes Vince, they'll be forced to break it off. Ari's frat boy loser friend shows up, and Ari's counting on him still being a loser, but he's not. He's a multimillionaire with a hot fiancee, and it kills Ari, until his wife reassures him she still thinks he's better than the loser. While the fight in the therapist's office last week was one of the funniest Ari freakouts ever -- it included him asking the therapist if she has a pill to make his wife a mute -- seeing them actually nice to each other was pretty cool.

Amazing Race
The Divas are out. Wah. My all-time favourite team, even if they did screw over Danielle and Eric last week (whom I hate, so we shall just forget about that). Now we have 3 teams going into the final leg that I don't really care about. As long as it's not Danielle and Eric, I think I'll be fine with it. Charla and Mirna drive me INSANE -- this week had a golden moment where Mirna actually said she just chooses the best accent for each country (as long as it's Italian, apparently!) and speaks to them so they can understand her. She ADMITTED it. What an idiot. The barbies are probably the best team, and if I had to root for one, I suppose it would be them. They listen to instructions, they get things right the first time, they don't hit the screen of their GPS thing 5 billion times after the nice army man has asked them to PLEASE STOP DOING THAT (ahem... CHARLA).

Sayonara Oswald and Danny. May your gay nursing home dreams come true, and all the best to both of you. You will be missed.