After the mind-blowing season 3 finale, I posted some haikus that I'd written with my friend Crissy, and readers jumped in and posted some of their own in the comments section. It's still one of my favourite posts, so I decided it's time for more. Maybe I'll write some haiku every week focusing on one aspect of the show and we can all add to it. 
Please feel free to write your own in the comments. I can't wait to read them!This week my focus shall be on the mysterious Richard Alpert, who is quickly becoming a new hottie on the show for me. Why am I not writing about Desmond, you might ask? Well... for him I shall write sonnets. Le sigh.
Time traveller or
Immortal? Probably a
Little bit of both.
Richard Alpert is
Immortal, but I must ask:
Is that eyeliner?
“He’s the chosen one,
I can feel it! Wait... Don’t choose
The knife! Ugh. Dumbass.”
“I’m the chosen one.
You told me yourself, so, could
We just skip that test?”
Um… seriously?
What good is a compass if
It never points north?
Little Ben Linus
Meets Alpert in the jungle
What’s with the bad hair?
“He thinks he’s special.
But he’s here for a reason.
Leaders get shot first.”
so weird: i was rereading those haikus a few days ago and was going to have a "remember when" with you. ahhhhh.
ReplyDeleteAll knowing Alpert asks,
ReplyDeleteWhen did I give you that, Locke?
A question asked not answered.
Removing the bullet
More Ben-like in your glasses
Have you fooled us all?
Searching for leaders
By collections of objects
in Others manbag.
My eyes, so deep and
ReplyDeletesunken, like pits of despair
lined with eye shadow.
Oh, Richard Alpert,
ReplyDeletedid Suddenly Susan drive
you over the edge?
Where Richard Alpert,
ReplyDeleteWhere did that compas come from?
Are you "The Doctor"?
Compass from dark eyes
ReplyDeleteOn the Island I rule all
Have to tell Helen
Thank God Cane is gone.
ReplyDeleteOur Richard has now come home.
The island needs him.
Why is Locke special?
Self-fulfilling prophecy.
He told me himself.
Can't kill your father?
Here's a file. Let James do it.
Manipulation.
Not the knife, damn it!
Wrong, you silly little boy.
Pick the book. The book!
I am laughing out loud. My brother was looking at me quizzically, and all I had to say was "I'm on Nikki Stafford's site". These are the best!
ReplyDeleteTaken from Wikipedia!
ReplyDeletePersonal life
Eyeliner issue:
The producers of Lost actually confirmed once that those are just Nestor Carbonell's eyes. No eyeliner, just genetics.
"When we first saw dailies of Nestor, we were, like, 'Someone's gotta talk to him about the eyeliner situation,'" Lindelof said. "And he does not wear any mascara, no eyeliner, nothing. He is completely 100 percent sans makeup. That's the God's honest truth."
older than you think
ReplyDeleteI always look the same (well
grew my hair out once)
Come closer, closer.
ReplyDeleteWant to know a secret, John?
My name is Nestor.
I've been here always
On the island forever
But I still look gooood
Where did I come from?
If you really must know, I'm
The Fifth Cylon. Psyche!
Still not as good as batcabbage...
@ Blam: "still not as good as batcabbage..."
ReplyDeleteI don't know about that! "The fifth cylon. Psyche!" Absolute gold!!! LMAO!
Here's a Desmond one, just for Nik.
ReplyDeleteNude in the jungle.
Hurley refuses him clothes.
"Suit yourself, brother."
So Alpert is one
ReplyDeleteHundred per cent sans makeup?
He was born that hot!
Will Richard Alpert
ReplyDeleteEver go sans shoes so we
Can count his toes?
Let me get this straight:
ReplyDeleteIf that isn't your compass,
Where did it come from?
Juliet tells us
ReplyDeleteRichard has always been there.
My question is: Where?
One with the island
ReplyDeleteWe know time passes you by
Who are you, Richard?
All lost or all found,
ReplyDeleteYou are related to me,
Your island gives birth.
@batcabbage:
ReplyDeleteMay I offer my tiny edit?
Nude in the jungle.
Hurley refuses him clothes.
Nikki is happy.
:-D
Maggie: LOL!!! I just read the Wikipedia thing and it made me laugh out loud. I had no idea this was a big deal!! I was watching last week thinking, 'Man, are his eyes naturally that dark or is that makeup?' Guess I wasn't the only one! That's awesome.
ReplyDeleteWHOOPEE! YAY! HOORAY!
ReplyDelete(Note: this is not a haiku.)
(Oh, wait -- yes it is.)
Alpert: native guide,
Recondite benefactor
And last of his kind?
Black Rock stowaway
Boy, did you sure blow it when
You jumped on THAT ship
Youthfulness betrays
Richard the conquistador
Juan Ponce de León
I bet Sawyer calls
The Others 'Rick Alpert and
The Tijuana Brass'
Nestor Carbonell
Has a name that fits just right
Into a haiku
Hate to say it but
ReplyDeleteProb'ly can't watch Lost tonight
Have fun without me
I should probably have put a disclaimer up for this, but I didn't realize I had to do so... so, here goes.
ReplyDeleteBlam: That was offensive. I don't want to see any talk like that on this blog again. ;)
Nikki: I'm visiting family. I did just get to watch last night's Fringe, though (and will comment on your related post if time allows), so hopefully if I don't see Lost tonight I won't go more than a day without seeing it. I apologize for speaking such unconscionable words.
ReplyDeleteRichard is special
ReplyDeleteAs are Walt, Locke and Aaron
But who matters most?
Questions I still have:
ReplyDeleteWhere's Claire? Why not bring back Walt?
WTF STATUE????