This Morning, While Making Breakfast...: Doctor Who's "Dark Water," Recounted by Children

[Spoilers for this past Saturday’s episode of Doctor Who, which revealed the identity of Missy.]

So I finally got around to watching “Dark Water” with my kids last night — my 10-year-old daughter and my 7-year-old son — and they were scared at times, and elated at others, and quite upset at others (especially what happened in the beginning, which I figured out the instant it happened and they had to have it explained to them over and over) but one of the biggest gasps that came out of both of them happened when Missy was revealed to be the regenerated Time Lord, (sorry, Lady), The Master. So this morning as I was making their lunches for school, my daughter was finishing her breakfast and I decided to talk to her about that.

So, what do you think about the Master being a woman?

I LOVED it. I really like Missy, and I was so excited when they said she was the Master.

What do you think about the possibility of a Time Lord being able to regenerate into a Time Lady? Do you think that means there’s still a chance the Doctor might one day be a woman, or do you think the writers are saying, “OK, you wanted a Time Lord to be a Lady, here you go” and now they won’t do it with the Doctor?

I don’t know, I guess it could be either way. It must be a little weird to suddenly regenerate into a completely different kind of body, I think. But I do hope they decide to make the Doctor a woman some day. I think that would be amazing.

Why?

Because I’d love to see what the Doctor is thinking from a woman’s perspective. Would she see the world differently? And she’d probably have a male companion. I think having two females wouldn’t be as fun, so I’d like to see them switch around.

You know, when Tom Baker was the Doctor — he’s the one with the big scarf...

Yep, I knew that...

... one of his companions was a Time Lady, Romana.

Well, if she can last forever and regenerate, and so can he, I don’t know why they just didn’t stay companions forever. That didn’t make any sense.

Well, you’re right, maybe not from a story point of view, although I think the Doctor likes his adventures with different people. But in real life they actually got married and probably didn’t want to spend all day together working.

Ah. Well, yeah. Are they still married?

No.

Hm. Well, that was just silly then.

What I think would be great is if we see John Simm’s Master regenerate into Missy on next week’s episode in a flashback.

Oh my god, that would be awesome! He was already wearing dresses and acting like a woman in that one episode when all of the people turned into him, remember? So that would be really funny. I hope they show that, too! But I really do like seeing them together, Missy and the Doctor. I think it’s interesting seeing their battle played out now with two different sexes rather than both of them being men. Sometimes I think there are too many men on the show and it’s nice to see one of the powerful ones being a woman.

Not all of the fans are happy; there are some saying they’ll never watch again because the Master is a woman and it just changed everything for them.

Whatever. That’s their problem. Every single time the Doctor regenerates he’s a different person, so how is this any different? Peter Capaldi is the “go to hell” Doctor, but Matt Smith was the, “Oh I love everyone and this is so much fun!” Doctor, and your Doctor [Tennant] was all moody, loving things one minute and hating them the next, and my Doctor [Eccleston] was very sad and cried a lot, I think. So they’re all different. What I think would be really cool is for this Doctor we have right now, Peter Capaldi, for him to regenerate into a woman, and then have that woman regenerate into ANOTHER woman. Then people will see that just because it’s a woman doesn’t mean that THAT is what makes the Time Lord different, that it’s how they react to situations. One woman might act like the 11th Doctor, and another one like my Doctor. I don’t understand why people are so weird like that. I want the Doctor to be a woman, and I want a male companion with her.

[And just as I was coasting on these words thinking I must be the best mother ever...]

[ENTER 7-year-old son]

So we were just talking about how the Master has become a woman. Are you happy about that?

Oh yeah!!

Why?

Because women are weaker than men, so the Doctor will be able to beat her WAY more easily.

[sigh]

Women are not weaker than men!! What about Wonder Woman?

Pfft. Batman would totally get her.

I don’t think so, he just has a bunch of toys hanging off his belt, whereas Wonder Woman is an Amazon.

[Daughter] That is SO stupid what you just said. Missy is pretty powerful, look at all the Cybermen she rounded up!

[Son] Pfft. The other Master did stuff like that, too, and the Doctor is going to stop Missy, he always does.

[Daughter] The Doctor stopped the Master, too!! UUUGGGHH it doesn’t have anything to do with her being weaker, women are not weaker than men.

[Son] Oh yes they are.

[Daughter] Oh yeah? I could come over there and beat you up right now and you wouldn’t stand a chance.

Okay, let’s not...

[Son] Nah, I know taekwondo.

[Daughter] I know taekwondo, too, buddy, I have a higher belt than you!! I’ll show YOU that women aren’t weaker than men!!

You know, women give birth. I don’t know anything that takes more strength than that.

[Daughter] Ha!! That’s true!

[Son] Nah, that’s easy. Baby just comes right out.

[Daughter] No, that’s not what happens, it’s—

Okay, I think that’s enough on this topic. Geez, guys, you are already prepared to be on fan forums when you grow up. Now what fruit do you want in your lunches?

[Daughter] You’d better watch it, buddy.