Ten Years On... How Lost Changed My Life

September 22, 2004
Ten years ago today. I was still sad that there would be no Joss Whedon show on my TV that fall for the first time since 1997. I had just become a mom, and was struggling with a month-old newborn that wasn't eating properly, never slept, and in 30 days had shown me the beautiful side of motherhood (the immense love I could feel for my own child, the pride I took in friends and family seeing her for the first time and the looks of awe on their faces) as well as the dark side of motherhood (the judgement I got from non-parents and parents for choosing to breastfeed, the physical pain following the childbirth, the lack of understanding of what I was going through from friends and family, the sleepless nights).

Light and dark. Two sides of that same extraordinary thing we call life.

While pregnant I had written two books, and one of them was about to come back from the printer that week (the book on Alias) and the Angel book would appear a couple of weeks after that.

And there was some new show premiering that night about a group of people on a mysterious island, and critics were saying the opening scenes were some of the most extraordinary moments they'd seen in a pilot. So I was excited, to say the least. Exhausted, and faced with the very real possibility of not actually staying awake through the episode, but excited.

And then it aired. And it truly was one of the most — if not the most — extraordinary pilots I'd ever seen.

The scenery was spectacular. The acting was brilliant. The writing was fast-paced and deep. And I stayed awake for it, with my baby in my arms, riveted. I couldn't wait for the following week's episode.

I thought Angel and Alias would be my swan song. There was no way I'd be able to write any more books after having children, right?

September 22, 2005
I had just started talking to my publisher about a possible Lost book. Maybe Angel and Alias wouldn't be my swan song.

September 22, 2006
Eight years ago today. The third season of Lost was still a couple of weeks away, but I was holding the first volume in what was going to become a series of books on Lost, a book I'd written. My daughter was two years old, and we'd actually developed a sleeping routine where she'd be asleep by 8 and Mommy would work during the day, and after she would go to sleep, I'd write from 8 until 11 each night, and somehow managed to get a book out of it in the end. I was also about to have my first and only book launch for it, and I was excited.

I had just started blogging in July for the first time, and had just been hired by Wizard magazine to do a weekly Lost column. Plus side: I got a ton of people who read that magazine to follow me over to the blog, many of whom stayed with me until the end of Lost and afterwards. Down side: they balked when I asked for a paltry sum of money to be paid to me each week, because, like many online magazines, they just assumed they could find professional writers and pay them the sum total of NOTHING and they would be thrilled to do the work for free. (When the writer's strike happened, they used the opportunity to replace me with an intern, who wrote a lousy column for about three weeks before they quietly cancelled it.)

September 22, 2007
Seven years ago today. I was giving birth to my son. My doula and husband were both Lost fans, and by all doctor's accounts, I was going to give birth to that boy on the anniversary of the plane crash. But the boy had other ideas, and he decided to wedge himself into a strange position and not come out. Instead, I'd be in final active labour for many hours before the nurse from 2pm finally got the 11pm nurse to wheel in an ultrasound machine, where they discovered that he was wedged in my pelvis and had the cord wrapped around his neck. Panic. As they prepped for surgery, a doctor rushed in and manually turned the baby just before midnight (they had already frozen me in anticipation for a C-section, so I didn't feel what would normally have been an extremely painful procedure). As my doula and I watched the clock tick past midnight, she turned to me and cheerfully said, "Oh well, he'll be born on the 23rd. That's still one of Hurley's numbers, right?!" Despite the worry and pain, I remember laughing and laughing. He was born shortly afterwards, with the cord wrapped twice around his neck... and his little hand under it, pulling the cord away from his neck and up onto his chin, holding tightly to prevent himself from being suffocated. Even when he was a few seconds old, I knew I had the smartest baby in that hospital.

September 22, 2008
I had just experienced my first Slayage conference in June and was suddenly opened to the vast world of pop culture academia, and began incorporating some of that broader thinking onto my blog and into my writing. My son was one day away from his first birthday, the blog had exploded into a flurry of activity, and because I didn't write the season 4 book during my maternity leave, I had to get started on it now, and write the season 5 book at the same time when the show would start up again in January. I thought there was no way I could write one book with one child, and now I had to write two books with two children.

September 22, 2009
By this point Lost's season premieres had switched to January, so Septembers no longer had that special meaning for the show. But this time, in anticipation of the final season, I was in the midst of a Lost rewatch on the blog. Two days earlier Michael Emerson had finally won the Emmy for Best Supporting Actor for his work as Ben Linus on Lost (so deserved) and the day after this, I held my Finding Lost Season 5 book in my hand for the first time. There was a lot of sadness and excitement and anticipation surrounding a premiere that was still four months away, but what had started out five years earlier as a show about a plane crash on a mysterious island had become much, MUCH bigger than that.

September 22, 2010
It was over. It had finished almost exactly four months earlier, and I and many others thought the ending was a spectacular finish. While others thought it was the worst ending of all time. And still others were stuck in the middle, not quite sure what they thought of it. We had laughed, we had cried, we had argued, we had colluded... we had expounded theories and written haikus, and some of my favourite moments in my life were some of the discussions that had popped up on this blog.

But it was over. There was still a flurry of activity on the blog, because my final book was about to come out and I was holding a contest where people photoshopped Lost photos with characters holding my books. It wasn't the 500-comments-per-Lost-post I'd experienced in the final season of the show, but slowing down that activity was a bit of a welcome thing. Leading up to the series finale, I had been quoted in so many newspapers, done so much television, and had been interviewed on so many radio shows my head was spinning. I actually took a week of vacation time just to handle the media for the week leading up to the May 23rd ender. It was a whirlwind, and exhausting, but fun.

But in September, I'd just had the worst summer of my life, with far too many upsets and things happening to me personally all at the same time like a giant pile of suck, but I wasn't about to share them on the blog and bring down the room. I was going through a personal low point, and it was feeling harder and harder to smile every day, and I just wanted that feeling to go away. And without having Lost around and the lively discussions that followed, I almost felt lost myself.

But what I was going through was small potatoes to what the creators of the show were going through, being called every name in the book and then some. I'd seen fan vitriol, but nothing like this. And what was so sad about it is that Damon Lindelof eventually threw in the social media towel, and no longer gives any interviews involving Lost, and that's all because, like all of us sensitive artist types, he was so focused on the hatred and cruelty of fans that he couldn't actually appreciate all of the positivity sent his way.

Damon, your show changed my life. And I LOVED that ending. It was an extremely personal ending to the show, which meant it was only going to resonate with a certain population of the Lost crowd. And it resonated with me.

September 22, 2011
I had just undergone a painful and stressful heart procedure, and was just beginning to walk again (of all the arteries they can use to send the electrical wires into your body, they choose the ones in your groin. Why thank you, you sadistic heart prodecure pricks). And in less than two weeks, I was heading to New Orleans to give the keynote address at a small Lost academic conference. The show had been over for almost a year and a half, but people still wanted to talk about it. Especially that ending. And I went to New Orleans, and it was glorious and wonderful (and I want to go baaack!), and I managed to trick everyone there into thinking I was walking without pain, and I met the lovely and amazing Jo Garfein and we went to dinner and yammered about Lost the entire time (duh). And Chris "humanebean" Doran was there with his partner and it was so lovely to see them (for the second time that year, I might add!). There were a ton of Lost folks I hadn't previously met, and there we were in the city of music, talking about a show that had changed all of us. We were all ready to go on, and yet we'd all been deeply changed by this show. I no longer blogged the way I used to, and oddly, I don't think I actually blogged about the Lost conference at all. There'd been a time when I would have blogged three times a day on it, detailing every second of it. But I no longer had that drive to do that. I just wanted to enjoy the moment, and not document it.

September 22, 2012
My husband and I had made the decision earlier that year to move away from Toronto, and we still had a few boxes to unpack at this point but my kids were ensconced in a new school and enjoying it, my son was about to celebrate his birthday in our new house, and I sat on this day and looked out my office window and was happy. Really, really happy. I hadn't written a book in two years, because after writing five books in five years, I needed a break. This was the point where people started asking me what was next, and I happily said, "At this point, nothing." And I was OK with that. In an increasingly turbulent and stressful world, we'd found peace.

September 22, 2013
I opened my eyes early in the morning, threw on my bathing suit and headed out at 5 in the morning to the beach, where I sat and watched the sun come up over the water. I was in Hawaii on the ninth anniversary of a show I'd written about for five years, and my husband was already out golfing (surprise) and there was no one else on this small beach. Just me and my thoughts, watching that sun come up on what was going to be another gorgeous day. I had gone on the Lost KOS Tour just a few days earlier, and had been drilled by the guy on Lost trivia, and there was only one thing I got wrong which really niggled at me, until I found out that they'd come up with the question from reading MY book (ack!). I imagined what it must have been like to have lived in this place for six years, as many of the cast of the show did. How difficult it must have been to leave. How the luckier ones like Daniel Dae Kim found a way to stay. And how this beautiful island provided a setting for a show that changed what we expect from television. Even the dumbest programs on TV now seem to have something smart about them; no longer are executives going for the lowest common denominator when they're trying to figure out their fall schedules. Lost upped the ante of what we should come to expect from a network show. And it all started with a plane crash on a beach only a few miles from where I was sitting at that exact moment. Earlier this year, I had lost someone very close to me, and the last trip he took before he died was to this very place. I thought of him, and I thought of the show, and I knew there was going to be a huge celebration for the show's 10th anniversary the following year. Since I was in Hawaii in 2013, it was doubtful I was going to make it back for 2014. But that was OK. I watched the sun continuing its climb into the sky, and the early-morning swimmers coming out to the beach.

September 22, 2014
It's unseasonably cool here at home. I'm sitting in my office after having seen so many beautiful pictures from friends who are in Hawaii right now at the Lost 10th anniversary celebration. I'm thrilled that so many people had to go baaack to celebrate this wonderful show. And while it feels like Lost had its premiere date on September 22, 2004, and then I blinked, and now I'm sitting right here, I realize what a long journey it's been to get here. Ten years ago today I thought I'd retired from writing after my fifth book, I didn't have a clue what awaited me as a mother, and I thought no other TV creator was going to move me the way Joss Whedon did. In that 10 years, television has changed entirely for me. Aside from the shows I wrote about, I actually watched very little other television. Now I'm pumped for several premieres this week, and can't wait to see which ones stick. My daughter has reached double digits, and my son will be seven tomorrow. The two cats who curled up on either side of the chair when I watched the Lost premiere are both gone, but now we have two kittens, who are curled up in a box that's far too small for them, right near my desk. The job I'd had for seven years when the show premiered was the one I thought I'd die in, but I'm no longer at that office. I have dozens of people in my life now I didn't even know back then. A lot can happen in a decade, and Lost has been beside me the entire way. To everyone I've met because of Lost, thank you for being a part of my life. I have met people I never would have met because of Lost. I've read books I never would have read because of Lost. I've watched movies and other television shows I had no interest in before Lost. I'm a different person now, and a lot of that is due to a show about a bunch of people on a mysterious island, and the people on this mysterious ball of a planet that I met as a result.

And thus endeth my seemingly endless ruminations on Lost. It's really time to move on and let it go, and I think I'm finally able to. Besides, I've got to go and get working on my new Sherlock book. That thing ain't gonna write itself.

Saying Goodbye to Breaking Bad... and Lost

I posted my thoughts on the Breaking Bad finale about an hour after I watched it. And Twitter and Facebook both lit up immediately after the show with people falling all over themselves professing their undying love to Vince Gilligan, Bryan Cranston, and everyone involved in the series. I've posted over on Facebook a few reviews that didn't love it — here and here — and one that absolutely hated it (here), and while I might not agree, I loved these little reviews standing there shouting against the tide of positivity.

Because I know how they feel. Only I was on the other side. I'm not Damon Lindelof or Carlton Cuse (well, Damon took a job from me once, but that's another story altogether...) and since they were the ones who actually wrote the series with that divisive finale, they had to take a lot of shit. I, while not writing the episode, had written about the series for six years, and for some reason ended up in the position of the Show's Defender, like anyone else in our quiet minority who actually loved the end of Lost but were outvoiced by those who hated it.

Now, everyone who's a creative type at all is the same when it comes to criticism: you can praise us all you want, but say one negative thing and we'll remember that FOREVER. It's why trolls exist on the internet, because we thin-skinned "artists" can't handle it, and crumble, and respond to you on Twitter or in the comments, and then you end up with more notoriety than the positive people. Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse received a ton of praise for the ending... but they'll never remember that. They'll remember the nastiness, the hatred, that proprietary feeling fans had over Lost and how Damon came in and shat all over it with an ending they found unsatisfying.

So when Breaking Bad ended and, as I said in my blog post, avoided the divisiveness that Lost, The Sopranos, and even Dexter created in their endings, I knew I wasn't going to have to defend the show this time, that other people would be really happy with the ending, too. Vince Gilligan has been held aloft and carried on the shoulders of many of the same people who stomped all over Damon and Carlton for their ending.

But I loved the end of Lost. So much so that when I posted on Facebook that Six Feet Under needs to step aside because there's a new all-time best finale in town, many people messaged and emailed me to say, "You mean... BETTER THAN LOST, NIKKI?!"

Hm. Well, I was closer to Lost. I was more invested in it. From beginning to end, Breaking Bad was a more consistently written show, but Gilligan wasn't meeting a 22-episode mandate. It's much easier to craft perfection in a first season when working with seven episodes, and not 23 like Lost had to do. There were things that had to be achieved in the Breaking Bad finale, things fans wanted, and Gilligan managed to make most people happy; Walt won, and he lost. Yet there are those who dislike the finale because he won, and those who dislike it because he lost.

Similarly, fans demanded that Lost do a number of things, chief among them is answer every single question that has ever been raised by the show. And they didn't do that. At least, not overtly. I wrote a 22,000-word defence of the Lost finale in my last book, and answered most of the questions fans said weren't answered. But maybe that was the problem: it became a little too subtle. For those of us who'd invested hours each week in studying every aspect of this show, it might have been satisfying, but for the majority of the viewers, it was a head-scratcher.

As someone who loved it, I can say that the Lost finale reached into my soul, made me weep with joy, caused lack of sleep over the next few days, and affected me emotionally more than any other show has ever done, before or since. I have never stopped defending it. I've never once said, "Well, yeah, you're right," because I believe in that ending wholeheartedly. Breaking Bad, on the other hand, was just... perfect. It was quiet, it wasn't the best episode of the series (see "Ozymandias" for that one), but it did what a finale is supposed to do. It wrapped things up, it gave us hope that life would still go on, and created a world that was encapsulated within the episodes of the series.

Damon Lindelof has finally spoken out and released an essay that was supposed to be on the finale of Breaking Bad, but instead turned into a piece talking about how watching the end of that show reminded him of how people reacted to the end of his show:

I'm sick of myself for continuing to beat this particular drum, so I can't imagine how sick of it you are. If it's unpleasant and exhausting for me to keep defending the Lost finale, aren't you getting tired of hating it? And so … I, like Walter White, want out. To be free. And to grant you the same.
I'd like to make a pact, you and me. And here's your part: You acknowledge that I know how you feel about the ending of Lost. I got it. I heard you. I will think about your dissatisfaction always and forever. It will stay with me until I lie there on my back dying, camera pulling slowly upward whether it be a solitary dog or an entire SWAT team that comes to my side as I breathe my last breath.

It's a poignant and sad piece, mostly because, as I said above, he spends the entire piece talking about those who hated it, and barely mentions those of us who loved it. Why would he? We feel the same way he does, and it's the haters who affected him so deeply. I know he'll be treated negatively for this piece (I mean, it's not like we live in an age of the confessional, right? Oh... wait...) and he'll be forced to face it all again, but I'm glad he wrote it.

But Damon, I really wish you'd realize that beyond those who loudly hated it is a group of us who loved it. And that image of Jack, on his back, looking up into the sky, satisfied that he'd done his bit for the world but will now die of a wound to his lower right-hand side? Um... do you think perhaps that image has become so iconic that it was also the final shot of this other finale that you loved so much?

All we needed in that meth lab was a dog and some bamboo.

Breaking Bad will go down in history as one of the greatest finales of all time. And Lost will go down in half the history books as the worst, and the other half as one of the best. Maybe there's something to be said for being controversial.

And how about this: discussing perfect pilots the other day, a friend of mine and I concluded that Lost had the best pilot, bar none, of any show we can think of. Breaking Bad's doesn't even come close. In fact, I watched the pilot of Breaking Bad and didn't watch another episode for another year. And then all of season 1 that followed Lost (remember... that's 23 episodes; Breaking Bad is in season 3 before it hits its 23rd episode) was near perfect. For many people, Lost didn't stick the landing, and that's all that matters. I loved it.

Is Breaking Bad the better finale? Yes, because it satisfied more people, and that's a finale's main goal. Is it my favourite finale? No... that one still belongs to Lost.

10 Last-Minute Holiday Gift Ideas!

OK, it's time for my completely self-indulgent guide to holiday gifts for the shopper who's left things for the last minute. And... it's mostly going to be completely selfish suggestions from me here. ;) But hey, I've spent the year entertaining you here for my own fun and pleasure, and because I turn down all ad opportunities (much to my husband's chagrin), the only way I can make money off this blog is if you click those little buttons on the side. So here we go!


Suggestion #1:

Finding Lost: Season 6
So far I've gotten 13 great reviews on Amazon.com and I'm so proud of them and grateful to everyone who's left one there! (And if you've recently ordered something from Amazon and have read my book and enjoyed it, please go and leave a comment there. Thank you!!) It's the biggest of the books, with the exception of the first one (which covered two seasons, so it's understandably bigger) and it not only covers all of season 6 and puts it all into perspective for you, but I go back and show the threads that stretch back from this season to the earlier ones. So it was a LOT of work covering all of that, going back to previous books mentioned on the show (hey, check out the reference to Slaughterhouse-Five in season 6 that was also made explicit in season 4 and here's how it ties in!). As I've said ad nauseum (because I'm just so damn proud of it!) my chapter on the finale, with a complete explanation and analysis of it that is sure to give you a different understanding of it, is over 50 pages long. It also includes chapters on Paradise Lost and The Stand, and shows how these two books were huge inspirations for the series. How do God, Lucifer, Adam and Eve, Trashcan Man, and a worldwide plague all come together on Lost? Find out in this book! It includes great behind-the-scenes photos of how they built the sets throughout season 6, as they were building them. It's a great price at Amazon, so I suggest grabbing it there. :) The Kindle is available here.


Suggestion #2:

Finding Lost: Season 5
Oh come on, you didn't think I'd recommend a different book, did you? Go back to this book after seeing season 6 to rediscover the path of John Locke and how he became the Man in Black, where Jacob factors in, the early questions about Richard Alpert that led to the man we finally met in season 6. It contains complete explanations of the time travel and how Miles's wonky explanation actually made sense, and looks at seminal works of fiction mentioned on the show (many of which, as I was analyzing them, I was actually coming close to what ultimately happened in the finale in season 6!) It's also available on Kindle here.


Suggestion #3:

The Complete Buffy Collection
OK, I'll move away from Lost for a second (but not for long) and suggest that if you're going to be joining us for the Great Buffy Rewatch of 2011 (beginning on January 4th!!) you have to pick up a copy of this DVD set. I'm watching season 1 right now and loving it as much as I did the first time around. No, actually... more. Much more. You all know how much I love Lost. Well... I think Buffy is still #1 in my heart. Find out why. And please join us for the Buffy rewatch. It's going to be awesome.


Suggestion #4:

Finding Lost: Season 4
What? Yes, of course. Season 4... this is the season that had The Constant, The Shape of Things to Come... amazing, amazing season. And this book contains my analysis of Slaughterhouse-Five, one of the two books I believe are essential to read outside of the series to gain a full understanding of what was really going on. I almost wish I could go back and rewrite these books all in light of the finale, but alas, I cannot. Instead they are meant to be read as you watch, but when I went back recently to flip through them and look at what I'd written based on our discussions here, I was surprised to see how far we were getting in actually figuring things out early on. That's because we rock. For some reason, I think this is my favourite of all of the Finding Lost books. I really enjoyed writing this one; it was also the only one written off-schedule so it ended up coming out in mid-season 5... and as a result I don't think it sold as well as the others. But it's still my favourite one of the bunch. Kindle is here.


Suggestion #5:

The Lost Encyclopedia
Yep, everyone's asking for my review of this one, and it's coming tomorrow (for sure... it's already been pre-posted to go live tomorrow as this week's Lost-Anon) and I think it's fantastic. Yes, it's got its problems, and I'll address those, but I don't think you should let those problems overshadow the awesomeness of this book. And... I have one to give away. I'm just trying to figure out some sort of contest. But I'll add that to the bottom of tomorrow's post.


Suggestion #6

Finding Lost: Season 3
What?? How'd THAT get in there. (Yeah, you're not buying my mock humility, are you?) Typically the least favourite of seasons for Lost fans (that or season 2), I thought season 3 rocked, especially if you watched it back-to-back on DVD. I remember writing this one and once again really enjoying it. The books that went with season 3 were great, and this is the season that contained the already classic The Man Behind the Curtain. And probably the saddest death scene of the series. Well... tied with the death scene in season 6 that I can't even mention by name. Sniff... I'm pretty proud of this book, even if it's my least favourite of the covers (I prefer conceptual ones). Kindle is here.


Suggestion #7

Breaking Bad: Season 1
If you haven't watched this show, watch it. I've spent the holiday parties and get-togethers trying to convince people to check out this show, and I've been faced with a lot of blank stares. "Let me get this straight... chemistry teacher finds out he has cancer... and he doesn't have enough money so he begins cooking meth to build up money to leave his family when he dies... and you say it's FUNNY?" Yes, it is. It's SO funny. Watch this show. I adore it.


Suggestion #8

The Three Fates of Henrik Nordmark
I haven't talked about this book on here at all, but this is a novel that I acquired and edited, and I loved it (and the author, Christopher Meades). If you're looking to take a chance on a quirky, edgy, funny little novel, this is the one. When Henrik Nordmark, a 42-year-old security guard, almost gets hit by a car one day, he realizes he won't be remembered after he dies because he's never done a single unique thing in his life. So... he sets out to become unique. If only those three elderly assassins from the local nursing home hadn't accidentally fingered him as the superspy they've been hired to kill. Surreal, funny, and insane. Please check it out... you won't be disappointed. Kindle is here.


Suggestion #9

Room by Emma Donaghue
You thought I was going to say my first Finding Lost book, didn't you? Room was haunting... I'd read other books by Emma Donaghue but her other books didn't even hint at the heights she achieved in this one. There's a scene in this book that will make you hold your breath until it's done... I was so on the edge of my seat that my husband wandered into the room to ask me something and I just screeched, "NOTNOWGOAWAYINEEDTOFINISHTHISSCENEGOAWAY!!!" and my palms were literally sweating while I was reading it (and my heart was beating inordinately fast). Since then, other friends have read it and the moment they get to that scene they send me emails saying, "OH MY GOD I know EXACTLY what scene you meant! I thought I was going to faint." This is the story told from the point of view of Jack, a 5-year-old who has lived his entire life in an 11-square-foot shed in the backyard of the man who kidnapped his mother years earlier and has been repeatedly raping her. It's the story of what a mother will do to keep the horrible world from her child, as she plays games with him day after day and loves him and shelters him from the horrors of what happens at night. I loved it so much I've bought it for several people for Christmas. It's amazing... and if you're worried that, as a parent, you wouldn't be able to stomach it, I can tell you that because it's told from the boy's point of view -- a boy who thinks his life is perfectly normal and happy, thank you very much -- it distances you from the pain the mother feels and makes it more palatable. And... she lives in my hometown! Even better.


Suggestion #10

Finding Lost: Seasons 1 & 2
Like I was going to leave off this one. This is obviously the one that started the series, and if you have a friend you've convinced to watch the show from the beginning for the first time, get them this book! Or get it yourself if you haven't. This contains the analysis for the OTHER book from the series that I think is essential outside reading -- The Third Policeman. It also looks at the character development throughout the first season and how it changed in the second. It focuses on how Lost was a character-driven show in the first couple of seasons and its strengths and weaknesses, and going back to it now you can see where all of the seeds for everything in the later seasons can be found. There's nothing spoilery in any of my books... if you're watching for the first time, you can read that episode guide and it won't spoil you for later seasons. Kindle is here.

And that's that! Amazon can ship you things the next day, so if you're looking for suggestions that will allow you to avoid the malls, look no further. Buy the complete Lost set (or many sets!) for a friend or yourself, and check out some of my other suggestions. Because hey, I'm here to help. ;)

At Last... My Set Is Complete

So... look what arrived moments ago, just in time for the weekend!!



I'm all warm and fuzzy right now. ;)

Finding... The Contest Winner!

This tongue-in-cheek pic was sent to me yesterday, and I just had to post it as the final pic of the series... sent by reader David McCloughan, Jr., he showed me what SHOULD have come as a bonus in the complete Lost DVD set. I couldn't agree more!!



LOL!! Thanks, David!!

And now, without any further ado, the announcement of the winner of this contest: Man, you guys have made it SO tough! You've all made me giggle or laugh out loud or be astounded by the ingenuity you came up with... but it came down to two, and from there I had to choose one, and my choice is... Erin Pugh! For balancing books on her head while setting a timer, and making me laugh with those great looks on her face. Congrats, Erin! I do want to throw an honourable mention to LittleMo, though, who not only made me love her for that bath pic, but pulled some great yoga poses in her other ones. Thank you for brightening my day and this blog.

You guys are awesome. And I do welcome pics of you holding the season 6 book, because I know every single one of you will get a copy, right? RIGHT?? ;)

Finding Nikki

OK, so it's only my thumb, but here is a picture of me holding... the very first copy of Finding Lost: Season 6!!



The printer FedEx'd two copies to my publisher's office and I happened to be there today, and I was still squeeing over it (so big! so beautiful! such a perfect cover!) when the marketing person saw it and said they'll need those two copies this weekend at a rights fair. Instant sadness. Ah well, I got to hold it. And... it was heavy. REALLY heavy. So the shipping costs will be higher. But then again, I guess The End needs some heft, right? ;)

Bookstore Surprise

I walked into a bookstore in downtown Toronto last weekend, and saw this!

Finding Lost Contest!

Hey all: Just a quick note that the first five people who got FLS6 orders in were Brooke Hall, Ian Malinski, Neil and Susan Andrews, Barb Weatherbee, and Lauren Seiler. I'll be contacting each of you shortly to arrange payment, and yours will be under the cheaper shipping regardless of what happens. Now, for everyone else, I'll be entering your names into a draw and while we wait to see if the books for the first 5 make it through the post office, one of you will get a book for free. :) I'm still taking preorders: just email me using the click-through, or email me at nikki_stafford@yahoo.com.

And to make this more interesting, I'll send ANOTHER free book to anyone who can send me a unique photo featuring any or all of the Finding Lost series of books. (Go here to see previous pics of my readers holding them up!) I'm looking for photos that make me laugh out loud, or unique takes on it. Perhaps you want to dress up as a character and pretend you're hanging out in the jungle, preparing to defend yourself against polar bears by using my books. Or if you don't want to be in it, try your photoshop skills to put the books in very strange locations. Whatever you want to do is up to you. Deadline for entries is September 30 (I was going to put it on the 22nd and make it the anniversary of the plane crash, but the more time we can have fun with this, the better)! I'm looking forward to posting your entries!

And for everyone out there who's been missing our Lost discussions, I've come up with an idea to keep the discussion going. Yes, folks, perhaps we can work together to get past our Lost withdrawal. Watch this space for a new segment I'll be introducing where we can chat about Lost... for all of you who (like me) refuse to let it go. ;)

Finding Lost S6: Now Taking Pre-Orders for Autographed Copies!

Hey y'all: So, my book officially went to the printer on September 1, and I took one last look at it and had to "let it go." Sigh. No more semicolons to fix. No more chasing dangling participles through the jungles of my grammar. And I think somewhere along the way I cut the book's dural sac and had to piece that together, too. But don't worry: I only let the fear in for 5 seconds.

I finally saw the full cover the other day, and here it is in all its glory!



(Click to see enlarged version.) See that? The jungle that was originally behind the chessboard has been moved to the back and made all dark and creepy. Love it. ;)

So, as I've been saying over on my Facebook page, the book ended up being a bit longer than my other book, I think by 40 pages or something. Which means that where the previous book teetered precariously at 504g at the post office, the new one will set those scales ablaze, and they'll push it into the higher-priced shipping territory. Unfortunately this could take a $7 shipping price and put it into double digits (and I can't even imagine what would happen in the UK).

So here's what I propose. At this stage, what I'll do is collect addresses from anyone interested in buying a copy (signed!!) from me. The price is $14.95 US, and $16.95 CDN (if you live outside of North America, it's up to you which amount you want to pay; I think it's pretty much the same?). Now, I'm not asking for any money at this time, just who is interested so I can make up a list. Then, the first 5 people on that list, I'll send the book out to them at cheaper rates and we'll see if we can manage to sneak them through the post office. And if we do, then it's a free-for-all (well, less-cost-for-all) and at that time, I'll email you back individually, let you know the final full price of the book, and we'll arrange for payment and shipping. If not, I'll pay the extra shipping on those first 5 books for those people, and email everyone else to tell you what the new price will be. And if you're still open to picking up a copy from me (I won't be offended if you're not!), then we'll arrange for payment and I'll send it off.

Now, this information is for the future, where we shall time travel and discover that (yay!) it managed to get past the post office peeps. Paypal is the easiest way to pay, and I can give you the details when I email you, but if it is the lower rate, then in Canada it'll probably cost about $3.50 to ship out, $7 to ship to the U.S., and $14 to ship it overseas (I know... gak). If it doesn't make it past the officials, those prices could double (and if you're living overseas, I doubt you'll want to do it that way!)

If you order now, I'll also throw in my new nifty, shiny bookmark that I'll also sign, with all of the covers of my books on it, which retails for, um... *cough* but can be yours for FREE! Act now, quantities are limited!

OK, they're not limited, I can always order more. But act now!

So if you're interested (again, at this point don't send any money), just email me here and let me know if you want a copy, and send me your full address with postal code or zip (I'll need that to calculate the costs should it become higher). And again, the first 5 people who send me their name and address will automatically get the cheaper shipping rate and their books will be sent out the day I receive them from the printer. :) If that link above doesn't work, just look at the top lefthand side of the blog, under my picture, and click on the option to email me.

I hope you guys like it! When I did my final flip through the book, I was really really happy with it. Sigh... NOW Lost is over for me. Sadness.

More Blurbage!

I think everyone should try to work the word "blurbage" into their everyday speech more often...

One of my favorite writers (and people), David Lavery, has given me a blurb for the back cover of my final Lost book. Yay! Thank you, David!


If John Locke (pre-Man in Black) was the most sought-after companion for anyone venturing into Lost’s mysterious island, it is impossible to imagine a better guide than Nikki Stafford for the viewer exploring the incomparable complexities of the now completed series. Whether tracing narrative threads, explaining the meaning of Lost’s many intertexts, probing the motivations of a character, identifying nitpicks and nailing goofs, elucidating mysteries, or defending the controversial finale, Stafford never fails to be funny, candid, informative, and brilliant. We will be reading and consulting her Finding Lost series, now complete, as long as Lost itself is remembered. I suspect it will be required reading even in the Sideways World for anyone seeking to move into the light.
—David Lavery, co-author of Lost’s Buried Treasures and editor of The Essential Cult TV Reader

SQUEEEEEEE!!!

So tonight I had my daughter's sixth birthday party. (SIX?! Where did the time go?? I swear she was just born yesterday... sigh.) I had eleven squealing children running around my backyard, pushing at my elbows begging to see the cupcakes I'd made and wanting them before the pizza, laughing along with the very entertaining magician we hired, and racing out the door with their prized loot bags in tow. But then I opened my email, saw this, and I was suddenly the one who was squealing:

“Lost is over, but I know I’ll be thinking about it for years to come. And in those mental trips to The Island, I’ll be taking three things: my Bible, my comic book collection, and all of Nikki’s insightful and comprehensive Finding Lost books.”
— Jeff “Doc” Jensen, Entertainment Weekly

YAY!!!!! Thank you, thank you, Jeff!

Finding Lost S6: The New Cover!

As I mentioned on my Facebook page a few days ago, the cover of my S6 book has been undergoing a revamp. The long-suffering Barry Johnson, who came up with the cover concept of my S5 book and then was the designer for S6, has been dealing with much back and forth with me over the past month or so as I began to rethink the chess cover that I had. And no, despite my jokes, it had nothing to do with the few people who said it looked too Breaking Dawn.

No, my thinking was that despite all of the chess references in the series, and the prominence of the black and white theme in season 6, and the fact that I've always argued the island was a giant chessboard upon which the game of the survivors' lives have been played, I think the concept is simply too subtle -- chess was alluded to constantly in every episode of season 6 (Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass is the mirror theme that runs through the entire season, and the book is based on one big game of chess) -- but you never see characters playing the game, and so it's just not overt enough. And when it comes to a successful cover, you need a concept that's not so subtle.

And so Barry has probably gone through about 15 different versions of new covers (Hurley number!), featuring jungle backgrounds, beach backgrounds, island backgrounds, and finally after much discussion about what should be front and centre, I told him I'd give him complete freedom to figure it out. And the moment the restrictions were taken away, he nailed it on the first go. I won't tell you what my thinking was behind this one, I'll just let you look at it, the same way you would in a store. And I really hope you guys like it as much as I do. Thank you, Barry, once again, for being so immensely patient and for coming up with a cover that made me gasp the moment I opened the attachment (click on the picture to see it bigger).

The Day After the Day After...

Some more Lost media today. I did an interview with Associated Press yesterday, so variations on the same story will appear in papers who picked it off the wire yesterday. Here's one of them.
The Philadelphia Inquirer quoted my blog from yesterday (caps and all!) Haha! You can read that piece here, about reactions among fans.

Andrew Ryan of the Globe and Mail had some very nice words about me in today's paper that completely made my day.

My site had the single biggest hit count in its history yesterday (I always assumed the day after the series finale would be it!) so I was thrilled, and much of that was due to Lainey Liu linking to me from her gossip blog, which is always entertaining. She was on the CTV chat immediately following the show and was very funny and informed, just like her blog always is. Thanks, Lainey!

If you're new here, I'm the author of several guides to Lost, and you can order them by clicking through on the side! My season 6 guide is now available for pre-order from Amazon (plug plug...)

Today's the Big Day!!!

So I have a few things to go over, but first, I want to warn you that apparently spoilers of the series finale are rampant right now, so PLEASE watch where you go today, be it Twitter or any other forums. This is a strictly spoiler-free site, and I beg people not to post anything in the comments. Damon tweeted last night that we're SO close, it's like Christmas Eve, don't spoil the surprise for yourself.

And now, a few housekeeping details: many of you have asked me what the deal will be tonight blog-wise. After a LOT of thought I'm just not sure it's humanly possible for me to watch the episode that finishes at 11:30, do a live chat for an hour, rewatch the episode at 12:30 and get anything that makes any sense up on my blog at 3am... so instead, here's what I'm thinking I'll do: later today I'm going to write a post on my final thoughts on Lost heading into the finale. One thing I wasn't able to do in the Globe piece was seriously pour out my heart, and I think I'll do that. I'll reserve some things for a recap post tomorrow, but I have a lot to say going into it, too. And then... I'll watch the finale (I've turned down several requests from various media outlets to host live chats DURING the episode, like WHATever, like anyone is actually online and not glued to their sets during the episode). I might occasionally jump onto my FB page or Twitter account to go OMG, but beyond that, I'll be pretty entrenched in the show.

When it ends, I'm thinking of doing a really quick, entirely uncensored, unedited video podcast, regardless of whether I'm sobbing and red-eyed or freaking out with joy (I'm thinking even if I'm freaking out with joy I'll still be happily sobbing and red-eyed). But the CTV.ca live online chat begins at 11:35, so I don't have a lot of time to actually put that together. But I might do that. And then, I'll be hosting the live chat, so PLEASE come on over and you'll see my real immediate reactions (caveat here: I don't want to be held to anything I say over there, since often after a few hours my mind entirely changes on an episode and on details within that episode!) Go to the CTV site and you'll find us there (I don't know if you have to sign up in advance... you might want to check that).

And then, I will be here all day Monday, starting with my long recap, and then pulling sections of the show apart in various separate posts so we can thread it out like that. And who knows... I might actually change my mind and be so stoked I'll just go ahead and post the entire thing tonight after all. If I do that, I'll say so on my Facebook page (that's usually where I've been giving readers the heads up when the posts will go live).

So tune in later today for my longer post (and I'm sure I'll have other funny videos to post, although I'm not sure I can top the Lost: Uncensored one!) and in the meantime, here are the last newspaper articles to come out today that I was interviewed for:

The Cleveland Plain Dealer's Mark Dawidziak interviewed me as a spur-of-the-moment thing, and he's always a TON of fun to talk to (we went off on this Twilight Zone tangent that was awesome) and he always tells me I should be teaching a university course on Lost, which makes me so happy to hear. He's written two pieces based on our interview, and you can find them here and here.

I linked to the London Free Press article yesterday, but the reporter also posted our entire back and forth email exchange on his blog, and you can read that here. Mostly me just blabbing, as usual (and as I mentioned on my FB page, "Lostie genius" is a bit of a hyperbole so just ignore that). ;)

The Philadelphia Inquirer posted an article that has a quote from me in it. You can read that one here.

And I posted this one late yesterday after I found it, but the National Post ran an essay yesterday that featured some quotes from me in it.

And I think that's it for Niks in the Media. As I said on my FB page this morning, while many of us are very sad today, I think we should also see today as a celebration. A celebration of the wonder of Lost, of the happiness it's brought us for 6 years, of the anticipation of all of the discussions we'll be able to have tomorrow and beyond once we know how it actually ends! So pick yourselves up and let's get excited and happy for the end of Lost!! :)

MediaBistro Interview

Hey all: I did an interview with GalleyCat at MediaBistro about an hour ago, and here's the podcast. We're going to do a second one on Monday morning to recap the show.

Me on Thursday

I'm going to be on CBC Radio's Q tomorrow at 10 (I have to be at the studio at 10, so it'll probably be a little after that). You can tune in to CBC Radio to hear, or go here and look for Q in the programming and listen live. The podcast will probably be posted in a day or two, so I can post it when it's ready. We'll be discussing the end of Lost, 24, and Law & Order (only one of those truly matters to me!)

Also, an article appeared in the Waterloo Chronicle today that featured me, which was so cool! I did the interview a few weeks ago, and it was fun to see it. You can go here to read the article.

And on Friday morning I'll be on CTV's Canada AM talking about Lost. Again, there will probably be a video segment put up online, but you can watch Canada AM and catch it. We'll be filming around 7:40, so it'll probably be around 8 or so.

And finally, I was filmed (while doing the Globe chat!) for CBC's The National for a segment about the end of Lost and the impact it's had, and that will air on Friday's edition of the show.

More to come! :)

Now Available for Pre-Order!

My Finding Lost: Season 6 book (due out in November) is now available for pre-order from Amazon.com. This is the last one, guys, the one I'm working on right now. Aside from the ep guides it will (so far) have chapters in The Stand, Paradise Lost, Haroun & the Sea of Stories, and Dostoevsky's Notes from the Underground. Probably some Faust and Chopin thrown in for good measure. ;) And much, much more... but I usually finalize the table of contents after the finale, so I'll keep ya posted.

Click here to pre-order, or click on the link on the lefthand side of the page that I've put up. I hope you like it!

UPDATE: Hello everyone! I'm just responding to the questions in the comment section: Yes, I will be offering signed copies of the book from the copies that I get. The shipping is higher, so I always warn everyone to take that into consideration, but it'll be cost of book plus mailing costs (depending on shipping prices at the time, about $3 in Canada, $7 in the U.S. and $14 to anywhere else). Or you could buy a copy through Amazon and try to find me somewhere in the world when I'm traveling! :) So yes, I'll be doing the signed copy thing for anyone interested in that. Thanks for asking!

Finding Lost S6: Now Greener, Too!

Don't ever say I don't listen to my minions. ;) Some of you said it might look even better to brighten the green, so Barry has done exactly that for me (and I agree, mostly because I wanted it to match the colour of Batcabbage's head). And, now... HERE is the final cover. Thank you, Barry!!

Finding Lost... Belongs to You Already

This one from our dear Joshua (the man behind the incredible mystery package), who said he was responding to his Fuhrerlein's "directive" to create some more photoshopped Finding Lost covers, lol!



Apparently Richard Alpert stormed away from young John in "Cabin Fever" because he didn't choose the obvious thing on my table -- my book!! (Seriously, how are you guys DOING this? I must take a photoshop course...)

Finding Lost S6: Now De-Meyered!

So about a month ago I posted the new image for my season 6 book of Finding Lost, and explained that ever since the first season I've wanted a chess board to grace the cover. What I didn't explain was that while I was working with designer (and Nik at Nite reader) Barry Johnson, I'd told him specifically that I DO NOT want this looking anything like the Stephenie Meyer book, "Breaking Dawn" (a.k.a. the book that will make you want to scoop out your eyeballs with a melon baller so you never ever have to read tripe like that again). I thought he did a brilliant job, keeping the two kings in the middle, adding the Lost hieroglyphics and his own custom-made Dharma symbol. I posted it, and then the love for his design poured in...

... immediately followed by the criticisms. One person said I looked like I was trying to trick people into buying my book who really wanted Meyer's. Well, I would actually be doing them a favour, BUT ANYWAY... as I responded, if they bought my book thinking it was part of the Twilight Saga, then they're actually as illiterate as Meyer is assuming they are. There are no vampires (except Richard Alpert, possibly) on the island. Lost was using chess as its main theme LONG before she had conceived of that horrible last book. Apparently Meyer has the market cornered on using chess as imagery? Right... because it's a fairly recent game that popped up for the gaming generation. *snark*

Then I got an email from someone who hadn't read the comments saying, "Oh Nikki, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but there's another book out there already and your book looks exactly like it" and sent me the picture of Meyer's cover right beside mine. I was starting to get seriously annoyed, but my publisher loved it, as did their sales reps, and the majority of all of you did.

And then, two weeks ago in a meeting, someone who works with me whom I really, really admire and respect (if she tells me to read a book, it immediately goes on my to-do list), joked, "Yeah, it's a great cover... apart from being a complete Breaking Dawn ripoff." I thought I was going to cry. If she thought that, KNOWING it had been foremost in my mind that I didn't want it to look anything like that (and also knowing the hatred I have for that book) then it simply had to change. I LOVE the cover, but I had to do something about it. I wasn't going to change it to backgammon, as a few people said it should be (that's something that was the obvious game in season 1, but chess has been the pervading theme throughout the series, just like it was in Through the Looking-Glass).

When this book comes out I want it to be critiqued on what's inside, not by the cover. I don't want the cover overshadowing my final book. AND because I think Barry is magnificent, I don't want anyone criticizing his work, either.

So I've agonized over what to do, and a few days ago went to Barry with my new idea: Let's maintain the integrity of the chessboard. I refuse to give it up. BUT... since season 6 is all about going back to the beginning and hearkening back to season 1, and my Finding Lost season 1 cover has a green jungle in the background, let's put a hint of a ghostly jungle in the background, behind the chessboard, that links this book to the beginning of the Finding Lost series, while also using a main element of the entire TV series. He said no problem, worked his magic, and he did it. There is now no more black background, and I'm happily convinced and thrilled to say that I don't think it looks like Meyer anymore (not that I did before, but whatever).

So now I present my NEW Finding Lost Season 6 cover, and I hope those who loved the first one still love this one, and those who criticized it as being too Twilight-like will change their minds. I hope you like it. :)