Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Nikki's Slayage Report, Part 1: Stairway to Hell


The Rockies. Double-doubles at Tim Hortons. “Deleuzoguattarian.” And the turning of water into wine.

Yes, this year’s addition to the lineage of biennial Slayage conferences was a force to be reckoned with, and I hope you’re ready to sit back and listen to my version of the events, and what I saw. Slayage 5 was a doozy, and more fun than I can remember having in a very long time.

First, for the uninitiated. As many of you who followed the Buffy Rewatch know, the Whedon Studies Association is a group of scholars who study the works of Joss Whedon, presenting and publishing various papers that enrich the understanding of the worlds he has created. In the beginning, it was pretty much Buffy-centric, which then extended to Angel. Now topics include those, plus Firefly, Dr. Horrible, Serenity, Dollhouse, The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers, the Season 8 and 9 comics… pretty much anything Joss has touched. (Toy Story, The Astonishing X-Men, Runaways… anything he’s worked on is fair game.) Many of the scholars who belong to the WSA were involved directly in our Rewatch, writing about the episodes and helping to guide you through the entirety of the series.

Slayage began as a website devoted to publishing these papers as a journal, and in 2004 the scholars got together for the first conference in Nashville. I was invited to that one, but was 8 months pregnant at the time, so that was out. They gathered again in 2006 in Georgia, and the biennial tradition was born. In 2008 they met in Arkadelphia, Arkansas, and I was invited again, this time happily accepting to be the banquet keynote speaker. I was a little nervous (I don’t get nervous about public speaking unless I’m not quite sure who my audience is) because they were academics, and I was but a lowly writer of episode guides and former academic. But they welcomed me with open arms, and made me feel like part of the family. (And for anyone who’s been at academic conferences — and I’ve been at a few others now — the Slayage Conference of the Whedonverses (SCW) has the most welcoming, nurturing environment you can possibly imagine. All young scholars with an interest in Whedon should try it out in the beginning if they want to immediately find mentors that will be with them throughout their careers.) I returned in 2010 in St. Augustine, Florida, for SCW4, where I once again delivered the banquet keynote alongside Matthew Pateman, an esteemed Whedon scholar from the UK who had delivered the opening day keynote in Arkansas and who I’d become friends with in the intervening years. It was like a family reunion, with new faces and friends and memories to leave with. (If you go to the Slayage tag on this blog, you can see all of my writings about the previous two conferences.)

So when I heard SCW5 was finally leaving the South and coming to Canada, I was thrilled!! I immediately posted things all Americans should know about coming to Canada, and happily awaited the joyous event. This year I wasn’t delivering a paper, and could just sit back and enjoy everything. This year I was going to meet new people and generally fly under the radar. Yep. So… that didn’t happen.

There was one other thing that would be different at this Slayage conference: my best friend Sue — and constant Slayage companion — wasn’t able to make it. It was a lonely plane ride, a lonely cab ride, and in almost every panel I was thinking of the conversations we’d have been having after, and I saw countless things throughout the four days that I thought we’d both be doubled over laughing about. I missed you, Suzie!

I arrived in Vancouver on Wednesday morning. I was up just after 5 for an 8am flight, arriving just after 10 in the morning local time in Vancouver. I figured it was going to be a tough go trying to stay up late and switch my body clock over, but I was going to do my best. I hadn’t been to Vancouver in many, many years, and the last time I came was in the evening when it was dark. Flying in from the east during the morning is one of the most extraordinary things you’ll ever experience. I just sat in my seat staring out the window at mountains as far as the eye could see (there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, so it was just snow-capped Rockies) and wondered if there may still be places on this earth that remain untouched by humans. Could there be some peaks in there that no one has ever set foot on? And what about those little towns you could see in some of the valleys? How isolated are they? Amazing. Here are some shots I took from my seat window:





Vancouver is nestled between the ocean and the Rockies, so as you’re staring out at this magnificent geography, the pilot begins to descend the plane and you feel like you’re about to land on the mountain range before you realize nope, Vancouver is right there. I defy anyone to go to Vancouver (especially when the weather is perfect) and not have one moment or more where they wish they didn’t have to go home, and begin wondering how they could make it work if they moved there.

I was staying with a group of Slayage people at the Gage Residence at UBC, where the conference was being held, and we were going to be roomies. I was the first to check in (the rest were coming in that evening), and immediately went into the room and was hit with a wall of HOT. The rooms were hot and stuffy, the sun was shining in through every giant window, and I ran around the common areas opening all the windows and trying to cool the place down a bit. Whatever happened to Vancouver being cool and rainy all the time? And not humid? Have all my Vancouver friends been lying to me when they mock me here in Toronto in my 100-degree heat, 120 with humidity?

I caught up on emails and such, and then decided to try to lie down for a bit and see if I could grab a quick nap. Shockingly, I went right to sleep (even in the most tired days after my kids were born, when I hadn’t slept for 1,389 consecutive hours, I could not nap) and woke up about an hour or so later, feeling completely refreshed.

That evening I went downtown (using the transit system, my iPhone’s GPS, and a prayer) and met up with one of my authors for dinner who I hadn’t seen in over a year, and then when I returned to the residence there was a whole heap of Slayage folks standing out front of the place. It was so great to leap out of the car and give (and receive) big hugs from people I hadn’t seen in so long. Ian Klein, who’s been my conference buddy since we met on the shuttle in Arkadelphia, wandered up a few minutes later (yay, more hugs!) and then we went inside where people settled in to their various rooms and Ian and I sat up and chatted until we just couldn’t stay awake anymore.

The view from my room
of the sun rising just before 5
The next morning, there was no official Slayage business until the reception that evening, so I had a free day. I was up just before 5 (even though I hadn’t gotten to bed until 11:30) for a couple of reasons: one, my internal clock still wanted me up early, and two, because the room was so desperately hot I left the curtains open so the air could come through the little window in the room… and my window happened to face east. D’oh. So I grabbed a quick shower, got dressed, and went outside for a walk (however, I stopped at the front desk to ask if I could rent a fan or buy one nearby, and the woman said they had tons of fans and handed me one: hurrah!!). I headed over to Marine Drive because I wanted to get right to the water’s edge. Not sure why this was a particular obsession of mine, but I’d seen the water for a couple of days now, and I wanted to be there. I found a secluded area where I stood for nearly 15 minutes and not a single car drove by (amazing) and just watched the sun as it rose above the mountains and gleamed onto the water. There was near silence, and I just heard the birds and smelled the flowers. Paradise.

It really is as peaceful as it looks. Incredible.


The rose garden, which distracted me (it doesn't take much,
but this would distract anyone)
And then my phone buzzed with a text from Matthew Pateman, saying he had gotten into town the night before and was now up because he couldn’t sleep (he was coming from the UK so his jetlag would be far worse than mine), and was I up yet and did I want to hang out? I hadn’t seen him since the previous Slayage, when the two of us had done the banquet speech where we acted like lunatics (he the ranting jargonistic professor and me the annoyed slangy blogger) and I texted back where I was, and he, too, was on Marine Drive walking in my direction. So I started heading towards him when I could smell roses. And that’s when I saw the rose garden, and jogged up the stairs into it so I could just smell the roses and take in the gorgeous surroundings (we went back on the last day to see it). Since I’m nothing if not easily distracted, I got a call from Matthew a few minutes later asking if I was still heading towards him, and I told him where I was and he said he was about 10 minutes away. So I continued walking towards where I guessed he was and three minutes later (we clearly don’t love the guy for his map-reading skills) we bumped into each other. Hurray for maps!

After hugs and catching up on life, loves, children, work, and current changes, we grabbed lunch at a place on Marine Drive and afterwards, I said I really wanted to find that water. We continued up the road a bit (it was much busier now, and much hotter!) and finally found a sign that said “Trail 6” and I clapped and happily started skipping along the trail, happy to have found my way to the water. It involved stairs. Not just any stairs… about 400 steps down I started thinking, “Oh my god, I have to come back UP these stairs…” And, 5,792 steps later, we found ourselves at the bottom of the stairs… on a clothing optional beach. D’oh.

Now, since then I’ve discovered that apparently the two of us are the only two people on the planet who are not aware there’s a clothing optional beach right next to UBC, but there ya go. I took off my flip-flops and started walking to the water through the sand… which quickly turned into a sprint when I realized how damn hot the sand was! I hit the water and… ahhhh…. And then we stood and looked off at how amazing the mountains looked, and the sparkling of the sun on the water, and the rock inlets, and what a gorgeous day it was. Well… that’s what I was doing. I can’t really attest to what scenery Pateman was checking out. (Ha.)

Of course, it was right around here that I suddenly realized I wasn’t wearing sunscreen of any kind. And I burn instantly. Nice one, Niks. Really nice one. So I went back up the beach to some logs that were under a tree and we sat there for a while as our feet dried. And then I got the bright idea that if we went further down the beach, we could probably find another trail with fewer stairs. Right? Of course I’m right. Off we went. It took less than a minute before Pateman was griping behind me in British, and as the terrain grew rockier, and the rocks got bigger, and the trees blocking our path grew in number, he was convinced I was out of my tree (no, wait, more convinced I was out of my tree) and started muttering something about the trouble with following Canadians and how the British are the ones who lead, or something to that effect. I was determined at this point, and continued skipping along and I said, “Oh, you will SO OWE ME something if I’m right.” He muttered something about giving me something if I was wrong (ha!) and just as I was keeping calm and carrying on and he was doing everything he could to betray his Englishness in that regard… we found the trail!!!! YAY! I WIN! I WAS RIGHT!!!

And…

It had just as many steps as the previous one did. Possibly more. UGH.

Ten minutes, one heart attack, and three hip replacements later, we were at the top, triumphant but exhausted. But mostly triumphant (in my case, anyway). We split off to go check email and whatever, and I grabbed Ian and we all headed back over to first register for the conference (more hugs with people we hadn’t seen yet) and then grabbed dinner at the same place we’d been for lunch, a place called The Grill just off Marine Drive. Great spot with good food, and close to everything we needed to get to.

Ian and I at the reception (I'm wearing my very special
Buffy Rewatch bracelet!) We're laughing because wonderful
Rhonda was trying to take the pic with Ian's phone, but I
think she turned it off, then downloaded his email, and
then surfed the web a bit before we got it. I adore her.
After that it was off to the Slayage reception!! I’d bumped into almost everyone I was looking forward to seeing, but there were some new ones there. David Lavery, one of the founders of Slayage, gave a PowerPoint audience participation game where we had to divide ourselves into teams (on mine was Matthew, Ian, and a first-time Slayage attendee named Jessica who had introduced herself to me earlier and told me she’d followed the Buffy Rewatch all the way through!) and Ian gave us the team name, “Why Dawn?” Heeheeeeee!!! Anyway, the game was a LOT of fun. We had a total of 8 clues, I believe, and in each case you had to guess which person associated with Whedon he was talking about. If you got it on the very first (difficult) clue, you got 10 points. Second clue, 9 points, and so on. My personal favourite was the 10-point clue, “I made John Locke walk on Lost.” David Fury! (I rocked the Lost clues.) Standing next to me was Stacey Abbott, who recently put out a book on Supernatural, and there were a lot of those clues as well so her team (Team Jetlag, which also included Lorna Jowett and Michael Starr) was going head-to-head with our team. The next night it was announced they’d won by a large margin, and we came in third! Woohoo! Go intertextuality! And then we all dispersed and headed back to respective rooms (most of the conference attendees were Team Jetlag at this point) and Ian and I watched Undercover Boss, which I’d never seen before but it was kind of badly awesome. End of the first full day.

Next up: the actual conference begins! For everyone who followed the Great Buffy Rewatch, stay tuned for more stories and appearances by many of the people who were involved in it: Tanya Cochran, Rhonda Wilcox, David Lavery, Ian Klein, Matthew Pateman, Alyson Buckman, Cynthea Masson, K. Dale Koontz (Guffey), Ensley Guffey, Steve Halfyard, Stacey Abbott, Lorna Jowett, Elizabeth Rambo, David Kociemba, Kristen Romanelli, Jennifer K. Stuller, Cynthia Burkhead, and many MANY more who weren’t part of the Rewatch. I hope you enjoy! 

SCARY SMASH!!!

(Thanks to Nikki Faith for this link.) I loved it for so many reasons, not least of all because this is how storytelling happens in my house, too. My son or daughter comes up with the basic premise and I start asking leading questions to make it go in different directions, and my husband and I are often in stitches at the result. The idea to take that story and animate it — starring Joss Whedon as "Gerald" — is genius. Also, watch how the SQUAT team is always squatting, hahaha!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Dark Knight Wheezes

I've been waiting a VERY LONG TIME to post this... probably about 9 months. Last summer, probably around this very time, there was a teaser trailer put out for The Dark Knight Rises, which opens this weekend. It was a great trailer, but I must admit, I know I wasn't alone in listening to Gary Oldman's ominous words and thinking, "...wait, what? What did he say?"

No, I definitely wasn't alone, for a group of filmmakers that have formed a company called Flashback Films thought the same thing, and created a parody trailer for it. And one of those guys — the one playing Commissioner Gordon, in fact! — is our very own Sagacious Penguin, one of the most astute commentators this blog has ever seen. He was here with us week after week while we watched Lost, and I was thrilled when he emailed me last fall and sent this to me. I thought it was hilarious, and was going to post it then, but decided to wait until the movie came out. Make sure you subscribe to the company on YouTube; they have lots of great stuff where this came from.

 

Look Who's Coming to Storybrooke!!

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Surprise, Surprise...

Guess who won a Mr. Pointy tonight? Completely unexpected and a devious and lovely and wonderful surprise by the Slayage folks. This wasn't the Long Mr Pointy that I'd been nominated for — I'd been telling people since the nomination that the bibliography was going to win that one for very good reason. This is an award they made special for me. I'll tell you more about it later (it's past midnight, or 3am my time), but I'm very thrilled and humbled and OH MY GOD I HAVE A MR POINTY!!!!! ;)



Thursday, July 12, 2012

Happy Birthday to Us!


Why, turns out it's that time again... the birthday of Nik at Nite! Yes, six years ago today I started this blog, and it grew and grew and grew... and then I neglected it a little and it began to disappear, but let's blow the dust off this blog, wish it a happy birthday, pat yourselves on the back for sticking with it for so long, and get ready for my coverage of the biennial Slayage conference! I'm here in Vancouver right now and preparing for the conference to officially start in a couple of hours while spending most of the day enjoying this gorgeous campus. Also, I made the mistake of walking down FOUR THOUSAND STAIRS to the beach (my single-minded determination to do things like "see the water up close" knows no bounds) and had to walk back up them, so I'm a little sticky and gross and tired right now. But I shall rally on, and give you proper coverage of the event!

So for all of you who tuned into the Buffy Rewatch last year, you're about to hear about the works of Joss Whedon in even greater detail than we offered you then.

Happy Birthday, Nik at Niters!

Friday, June 29, 2012

The Next Chapter


Several years ago, my uncle gave me a copy of a book called In Praise of Slow, a non-fiction book about how much our society measures everything by time (our lack of it, how there’s never enough of it, how we’ve always run out of it) more than ever, and how we never take the time to just slow things down and enjoy life. For months after, he’d ask me if I’d gotten around to reading it, and I’d joke that I just didn’t have time. We’d both laugh.

A few months ago I read an article in The Guardian about a palliative care nurse who has spent many years sitting by the bedsides of patients at the ends of their lives, and she was talking about the Top 5 regrets people have on their deathbeds. Number 1 was, “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life that was true to myself, not the one that others expected of me.” Number 2 was, “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”

My kids are 4 and 7. Today they graduate junior kindergarten and grade 2. In the fall they’ll be in senior kindergarten and grade 3. I don’t know how this happens. I could swear my oldest was just born yesterday. When she was 2 years old, I wrote this in a journal: “I want to keep her at this age for the rest of my life, still small enough to hold in my lap and rock to sleep, but big enough to walk beside me down the street while I hold her hand. Small enough to want kisses and hugs, but big enough to have a conversation with. Young enough to still be learning new things and not be jaded, but old enough to know what’s right and what’s wrong. I just want her to stay two forever. The other night we went out for a walk with her new wagon and I was walking behind her while she insisted on pulling it. Rob was in the front. I walked behind her, watching this little girl with the blonde hair that’s starting to curl up in the back, pulling this big wagon and not giving up when it got caught on things, walking in her flip-flops that are much too big for her (they’re for a 4-year-old, but she loves them because they’re too big), in her little sundress, with such a look of determination as she pulled that wagon, stopping every once in a while to pick a dandelion and turn to me and say, “Here, Mommy! Dandelion!” and turn and keep walking, and I thought how do I stop time and just preserve her like this forever?”

That was 6 years ago. And I can still see her walking in front of me in that little sundress, looking for the next dandelion. Now she disappears to a corner with her nose in a book, waving me off because she wants to finish this chapter. Part of me is delighted looking at a tiny version of myself at that age (any nook I could find, I’d squeeze into it and sit there for hours with a book), and part of me wishes she still needed me to read those books to her. I go into her room at night as she sleeps and I stare at her, marvelling at how tall she is, how big her feet are, how she takes up most of her bed in her perpetual octopus-like state when she's asleep. My hand used to engulf hers. Now, when she takes mine in hers, her long fingers wrap around mine and I’m once again surprised at how big she's become. (I know many of you are thinking, “Wait til she gets to university!!”) ;) 

But we get up in the morning, I rush to get ready for work while my husband gets the kids fed and clothed, and I hurriedly pull her hair up and brush their teeth, throw snacks into their bags and sign any paperwork that needs signing, zip up their bags, slather on sunscreen, pop hats on their heads and run out to the car to drop them off at their caregiver’s. My daughter runs into the school (usually seconds before the bell) and my son trots off with the caregiver to spend the morning with the other kindergarteners before he goes to his afternoon class. After school, caregiver picks them up and my husband grabs them from her house at 5, and I get home around 5:30, rush to make dinner (sometimes my husband’s already got it going), kids cry and moan and whine about something that’s happened that’s colossal and devastating because they both have really low blood sugar before they eat, and then we eat and then it’s rushing off to whatever extracurricular activities my daughter has, then get baths, and off to bed. Bed is usually a long fight where they want just one more page read or another glass of water, etc. That’s when I remember I needed to work with my daughter on her math and my son on his alphabet, but oh well… we’ll do that tomorrow night, right? Right?

Of course, at work I’m working on half a dozen things at once, I have a to-do list that on some days I can work through like a madwoman, on others it barely gets touched. And all day long my mind is half on them. I’m slipping out into the hall to call doctors or dentists or teachers, but usually I’m just calling my husband to remind him to pay the caregiver, or to run back to the school because I forgot the sunscreen, or I forgot to stick in those cupcakes I baked last night and they need them for the party that afternoon. My mind is always scattered these days, because there are so many things warring for its attention. I used to have a mind like a steel trap. Now I have to write down everything or I’ll forget. 

I used to write books. Remember those? I used to blog a lot, too. Now I’m lucky if I get a post up once a week. Or every two.

And with all this going on, I’ve hit that moment in my life that we all come to: the infamous crossroads, where you need to make a decision. Do you keep along the path you’re on, no matter how tough it is, because it’s a known place? Or do you venture into the great unknown and take a massive risk, hoping things will get better? How many of us wake up every morning determined to do something different, and at the end of the day realize we’ve done the same thing we always have, but tomorrow will be different? How many of us vow to slow down, to turn off that computer, put away the smartphone, and be engaged with family and friends and spend as much time as we can with our children? When I’m away from my kids, I want to be with them the whole time. When I’m with them, I’m constantly worried about the work things I should be doing. Even on weekends. I’m wired a certain way, and I’ve surrounded myself with people wired exactly the way I am. We have to be moving all the time, doing things. Multitasking.

Multitasking is just doing a bunch of things at once, and not doing any of them well.

The last two years of my life have taken me on an emotional rollercoaster. Two years ago, I was on top of the world: Lost was coming to an end, I was doing a ton of publicity for it, I had the final Lost book in the works, my kids were both healthy and happy and doing well in everything they did, I loved all the books I was working on at my workplace, my husband and I were happy and doing all the things we wanted to do, I was on my way to Slayage to deliver a keynote… and then it was just one of those things, where starting from the moment I got back from Slayage and lasting the next two years, if something could go wrong, it did. Things happened, my world was jolted several times, the rug was torn out from under me repeatedly, people I thought I could count on suddenly were not the people I could count on, and I began seeing those little inspirational sayings and NOT rolling my eyes, but thinking, “Yeah, that is totally true.”

I KNOW, right?? Crazy. ;)

And so, I’m taking the plunge. There’s a reason this blog has become a ghost town. Today, June 29, is my last day working in the offices of ECW Press, where I’ve been an editor since 1997 (outside of my freelance job as a writer, since 1998). That’s a really long time to be at one place. I’ve watched people come and go, and the office evolve, and the atmosphere change time and again, and the way books are made has changed drastically from when I started there. But I’ve always been the constant. I stuck with that place through three bankruptcies. I found some of my best friends in that place, and watched many of them leave and move on to other things, but thank goodness for email and phones to keep in touch with so many of them. My boss has been my mentor, a father figure, and a dear friend.

When I started working at ECW, I was a student, I still hadn’t finished my graduate degree, and I was engaged to be married. After I started working there, I moved in with my fiancé, then married him. I became an author many times over. I discovered new writers and watched them grow into rather well known ones. I got three cats. And after 14 years, I lost one of those cats. I’ve had four addresses since I started there, and bought my first house, then sold it and bought the second, and now I just sold this one and bought what may very well be the last one.

And, most importantly, I became a mother. I have watched my daughter grow from a feisty, demanding, high-maintenance baby into a confident, stubborn, imaginative, daydreaming, obstinate, beautiful little girl. I have watched my son grow from a quiet, easygoing, laid-back baby into a shy, sensitive, smart, hilarious, inquisitive little boy. They are the source of my biggest laughs, my deepest worries and frustrations, and my greatest joys. And my husband, who has gone from being a grad student to becoming one of the biggest golf journalists in North America, has been by my side every step of the way. When he’s not off golfing and calling it “work.” (Ahem.)

I used to keep a crazy pace. Before I had kids, I’d be in the office for 10 or 11 hours, every day. When I worked from home I’d work even longer, well into the evening hours. I’d come into the office on weekends and continue working because I loved the quiet. I threw myself into every aspect of the job, and LOVED it. And when I wrote books on top of it, I could start writing the moment I got home, while eating my dinner at my desk (my husband was a freelance writer so he’d be doing a similar thing down the hall) and write until midnight. I would start writing early in the morning on weekends and go all day and into the evenings. I wrote two books while I was pregnant with my daughter (books on Alias and Angel), and I figured they’d be my swan songs. I mean, how do you keep up this pace with kids?

And then I realized, you can. Or, at least, I can. On my daughter’s second birthday, the first Lost book was released. When I was pregnant with my son, I was writing the next one, and on maternity leave, I wrote the third. When I went back to work after he was born, I realized I still had the discipline I had before, but I was no longer working 11-hour days and part of the weekends; I was working 8-hour days, then coming home, being with the kids until they went to bed at 8 and then working until 12. Back up at 6 (that’s when the kids woke up) and continuing on. My husband took the kids home on weekends and I learned to work from 7am until 11pm, with two one-hour breaks in between. The most I wrote in a week was 65,000 words; the most I wrote in a single day was just over 15,000.

But then again, ask any mom who’s been on maternity leave with a baby whose feeding schedule is every 40 minutes and who never naps. Trust me, if that child naps for 15 minutes, we can do laundry, clean 3 rooms, and cook an entire lasagna in that time. You learn to become extremely productive in small spurts.

But something happened during that final book: my body said nope, I’m tired of you trying to be Wonder Woman. I was pushing myself too hard at work and trying to write a book on the side while using up my much-needed holiday time to do publicity for the end of Lost. I’ll never forget the long weekend where my husband took the kids away for a long weekend, leaving on Thursday morning, and I worked my 7am to 11pm days, and on Sunday I suddenly felt my head… vibrate. That’s the best way I can describe it. It was a buzzing feeling. I remember glancing at the time on my computer, and it was 3pm. Not late enough to quit, I thought. I glanced out the window at the house across the street. Then I looked back at my computer. 5pm. I rubbed my eyes… 5pm. I sat there for a moment as a jolt of shock ran through me. How could that have happened? I hadn’t fallen asleep, I was awake. But I had absolutely no memory of those two hours. It’s as if I had just powered down like a robot. It terrified me… and I also took the hint. I immediately stood up, went downstairs, and watched sitcoms for the rest of the evening.

While I was finishing up the final book, a dormant heart arrhythmia I’d been born with decided to wake up and say hello (apparently it’s brought on by extreme stress). Remember that scene in season 5 of Buffy when Riley goes to the hospital and they clock his heart at 150bpm and Buffy says, “Oh my god, no one can live with a heart that fast”? On last year’s rewatch, I thought that line was hilarious… because that’s what mine had clocked at. 155, actually.

I’ll say it again: Riley was a wuss.

Oh, but it didn’t stop there. Every time I thought I’d have one thing under control, something else would happen that would turn my world upside down. And it was all stressful. To protect the privacy of my kids I won’t go into details, but let’s just say the heart thing turned out to be the least of my worries. I can deal with me being sick, but when others get sick, I feel like the bottom drops out of my world. It’s ongoing, and we’re dealing with it, but much of my time has been spent reading books, trying to figure out what’s happening, and doing my very best to keep things under control. My kids, my extended family, my friends… one bad thing after another happened, and like I usually do, I internalized it, put on the happy face I’d learned to use since I was a kid (people have always commented on how I laugh constantly…). I’m one of those people who talks and talks and TALKS incessantly about everything in my life… until it starts to go wrong. And then I clam up. I stop telling people what’s up, I avoid any conversation that might lead to a, “So how are things?” because I don’t like lying, and I don’t like sounding like a pity whore. And that’s why I’m uncomfortable about writing what I just wrote: I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Trust me, I know people who have gone through things in the last 2 years that make me look wussier than Riley. And that’s saying a lot. I used to handle anything that came my way. It was like I had Wonder Woman’s bracelets and could just “Ping! Ping!” any difficult thing away from me. Now I have a bodily organ that’s betrayed me, and it destroyed my bracelets, dammit!!

I know you noticed the blog wasn’t being kept up. Tumbleweeds were floating across my screen. And I tried to keep it occupied. The Buffy Rewatch helped hide the emptiness of it during 2011, but 2012 has been more obvious.

I was used to doing a million things at once and getting them all right. Now I couldn’t do anything right, or at least it felt like I was failing on all fronts. And every day I felt like there were people reminding me of things I was doing wrong. So I decided, ENOUGH. I had to make a change. I want to take on less work, but do an excellent job at it. I want to write on my blog, and bring people back to it and return to what I used to do here, and just schedule time in my day to do just that. I want to be an organized mom (HAHAHAHA!!! Oh… oh… that’s hilarious, I know… ) and actually have everything in on time, not realizing the day a permission slip is due that it’s due and I have to drive back to the house, sign it, and run into the classroom waving it in the air. But you can’t be a full-time mom, a full-time editor, and a part-time writer. There’s simply not enough time.

And so. I am leaving ECW… and Toronto. Yup, after 16 years, I’m leaving the big T-Dot, and heading back to my home town of London, Ontario. My husband and I have sold our house and bought a beautiful house that not only gives me my own office (MY OWN OFFICE… Oh, Virginia, you were SO RIGHT about me needing a room of my own!), but it backs onto a wooded area with several miles of walking trails. My daughter the explorer completely freaked out when she saw the place. And so did I. I will be near most of my family, and, very importantly to me, my best friend, who has been a rock to me for many, many years. 

I love so much about ECW, not least of which are my bosses, who not only supported my move, but offered me a chance to keep acquiring books for the press, and to keep editing. I’m going to continue pretty much doing exactly what I do now… but part-time. The other part of my time will be spending time with my wonderful children, being organized, blogging, and trying to find some sense of order in my life that went away about two years ago. And I will spend hours and hours in that forest with my kids, roaming the trails and climbing trees and just… slowing… down. Phones will be left at home, computers will be turned off, and lives will be lived. And I get to continue to work with my authors, who are also my dear friends, and keep in touch with the people in my office and continue to hone the skills I’ve developed for 15 years.

And maybe I’ll find the time to write that next book I’ve been thinking about.

Earlier this week my fellow employees had a good-bye dinner for me and one other person who’s actually leaving this week as well. My boss gave a heartfelt speech, I got verklempt, and when I got home I felt drained. I looked at my husband and said, “Fifteen years in the same company.” He said, “That’s quite an accomplishment.” I said, “Yeah… but it also makes me feel kind of old. Like, I’m retiring already.” He said, “No, you’re not. You’re preparing to begin the next chapter. You’ve completed phase one, and now it’s on to phase two. Who knows what that will bring?”

As I posted elusively on Facebook earlier this week (before realizing I was one of THOSE FB posters, like those people who post, “OMG I can’t believe that just happened!!” and people write, “What happened?” And they respond, “I don’t want to talk about it.”), I’m ending a chapter of my life this week and beginning the process to a new stage in my life. But I’m going to try really hard not to see this as a week of lasts, and hope that instead it’s a gateway to a lifetime of firsts.

I’m sad, but also happier and freer than I’ve felt in a very long time. I’ve made it through a very difficult period and I’ve come out on the other side, and I feel stronger because of it. I’ve gotten back to where I was, and yes, it shows. There are more grey hairs, there are more lines around my eyes and on my forehead where the worry planted itself. But I’m back, and wonky heart notwithstanding, I’m better. The people who matter are by my side. And the two littlest people who matter will be at my side more than they have in a long time.

And I do promise MUCH more activity – and interesting things – coming soon on this blog… which, with any luck, will soon be a website. You’ve all had enough down time. I’ll be back very soon, and I’ll make it worth your wait, I promise.

One of the most oft-repeated lines on Lost was “See you on the other side.” I feel like somehow, I’m on that other side, and I can’t quite see what’s out there yet (much like Christian opening those doors at the end... SOMETHING was there, but we didn’t know what) but I’m excited to see what it’s going to be. 

A few months ago, I finally read the first chapter of In Praise of Slow, and it was a catalyst for the decisions I’ve since made. I called my uncle to tell him I’d actually started it, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t read it earlier, and we talked about me possibly moving back to London. He said to me, “You know, no one gets to the end of their lives and says, ‘I wish I’d spent less time with my kids.’ You’re doing the right thing, kiddo.” I really do hope so. And maybe I’ll finally find time to read the rest of that book. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Just Because...

You can never watch this scene too many times. ;)

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Why I Love Buffy Scholars (Reason #144)

I’ve been meaning to post this for ages, but most of my (rare) free time lately was being spent on Game of Thrones posts. So with the season being at an end, I’m writing this on Wednesday so it’ll go live on Saturday (oooohhh… time travel…)

The last week of March my family and I went to the Dominican Republic. The day before we left, there was a large package on our front doorstep, and I said to my husband, “Wow, I wish that large package was full of merch from HBO.” No, really, I actually said that, since almost all packages that come to our house are filled with golf balls or new golf clubs (the shape of those tall boxes are giveaways) or golf shirts or shorts or new monogrammed golf shoes… in case you’re wondering, my husband is a golf writer. So I never get cool stuff.

We went up to the door, and sure enough, the package was from HBO! And it was full of Game of Thrones stuff. So just when I was thinking this was the best mail day ever, I walked into the house and saw another large envelope sitting on our stairs. The postmark was North Carolina, and the only people I knew from North Carolina were the Guffeys, Dale and Ensley, who I knew through Buffy fandom (they’re both Whedon scholars who have been at various pop culture conferences) and who are writing a Breaking Bad book for me. I opened the package, and sure enough, it was from them. And, turns out, from a bunch of other Buffy scholars.

As many of you know, this site hosted a Buffy Rewatch last year. I was joined by 30 people — scholars, bloggers, poets, novelists, and fans — and among all of us, we took on the task of watching up to three episodes a week and posting on them. You can go to the archive here if you’re newer to the site, and these posts will always be there for new viewers to read along the way we did. I was so grateful to everyone who helped me out, as you’ll see throughout the Rewatch.

But even though I felt the thanks should all be from me to them, a few thought differently, and wanted to thank me for hosting it and having all these wonderful people come together. And they surprised me with THIS:








A bracelet with the entire Finding Lost series on it, plus my Buffy and Angel books!! Can you believe it?? They’re tiny little books that actually spin around, and the sculptor even wrote my name on each spine in the font from the book cover. I was speechless. (And as many people will tell you, that’s a great feat.) I’ve since contacted the woman who made them, and she’s currently doing a custom job for me for a gift for someone else. It’s just a fabulous idea. (If you’re interested, her work is on Etsy here, and she has a lot of premade jewellery and also takes custom orders.) Thank you to her!

But a big, big thank you to Ensley and Dale Guffey for being the ringleaders and putting it together and having it made for me, as well as those lovely people who signed the card and were a part of the big surprise: Tanya Cochran, Rhonda Wilcox, Alyson Buckman, Elizabeth Rambo, Matthew Pateman, Stacey Abbott, David Lavery, Christina Boulard, Jennifer K. Stuller, Mary Evans, and Cynthea Masson. From what I’ve heard after, Pateman was charged with finding out if I was allergic to gold and silver, but since he could never come up with a casual way to fit that into the conversation (hahaha!!), when I was at Tanya’s house in January she gleaned an answer somehow and got it back over to Dale and Ensley. I have no idea how she did it, since I don’t remember that coming up in conversation at all (maybe I was wearing both or something?) but these guys are amazing spies and I had no idea this was in the works.

Thank you, you guys. This is one of the nicest things anyone’s ever done for me, and I’ve always wanted to have some way to commemorate all of my books, and this is perfect. Every person I’ve shown it to has gasped with delight. I can’t wait to thank everyone in person at Slayage.

UPDATE: I wrote all of that up on Wednesday, and last night I went to see Joel McHale at Casino Rama (yay!) and discovered afterwards that while I’d been offline, it was announced that the Whedon Studies Association has nominated the Buffy Rewatch for a Mr. Pointy Award!!! You have no idea how awesome I think this award is, and never thought I could ever be nominated for one because I’m not an academic. You can see the complete list of nominees here, and I was THRILLED to be included in the group and considered for something I hold up to be very important. I am so happy right now!! (And yes, for anyone who is wondering, it’s actually an award that is fashioned like Buffy’s stake Mr. Pointy, which she inherited from Kendra.) 

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Game of Thrones: Valar Morghulis




Welcome to the final week of our Game of Thrones blog post! I’m once again joined by Christopher “I read the books so you don’t have to, but you really should because they are awesome” Lockett, who, well, reads the books and tells us how the adaptation deviates from them. We have a lot to cover this week, so let’s get started.

Oh, but first, THIS:

Cake of Thrones!!



Yes, if anyone’s looking to send something to Chris and me, that cake would be just dandy. ;)

Nikki: After last week’s unbelievable episode, this week’s was definitely a lot slower, serving the purpose of wrapping up this season’s many plot threads while setting us up for the next season. We covered off every house, every player, and pretty much every character we’ve seen this season. That’s not to say it was a bad episode — I’m starting to think that’s simply not possible on Game of Thrones — but just that it was a bit of a letdown after last week. And there were certainly some highlights.

What I really enjoyed from last night’s episode is that it almost felt like it was paying homage to every other show I watch on TV!
-Lost: We open on Tyrion’s eyeball, as if the key character for the episode is him.
-Revenge: Arya tells Jaqen that she’s going to spend years training and learning how to fight and get revenge on the people who killed her father. She’s like a little Amanda Clark.
-The Walking Dead: Duh. Was it just me, or was the final scene with the wight walkers set up exactly like the end of the penultimate season of TWD, with the legions of walkers stumbling towards Herschel’s farm, complete with the camera panning back to show how many of them there were?
-The Wire: Tyrion now sports the exact same scar as Omar Little. As if he wasn’t already a bad mofo, he’s probably going to be worse now.
-Buffy: Brienne the Douchebag Slayer!!

No, Jaime, I haven't had sex. Have you ever
had sex with a girl who wasn't your sibling?


Yes, for me, the best part was probably Brienne taking on the three Stark devotees in the forest. She saw the women strung up in the trees and even before the men entered the scene, she tied Jaime to a tree and moved to cut down the women so she could give them a proper burial. Like the previously mentioned Omar Little, Brienne lives by a code of honour, one that she will not sacrifice even when charged with a very important and time-sensitive mission. But before she’s cut the first one down, along come the louts who put them there in the first place. Jaime whisper-screams, “CUT ME LOOSE!!” when he sees them coming, which killed me because I actually shouted at the TV, “Kingslayer, Schmingslayer; she doesn’t need you, Jaime!!” And no. She so did NOT need him. At first she kept her head low and answered quickly, but asked a few questions of her own. Once she’d ascertained that these men did indeed kill these poor tavern women, and that one of them had been killed quickly and the third real slow, her mind was made up. With the flick of both wrists, she kills two of the three men and knocks over the third. Striding up to him with a grimace of pure venom on her face, she draws her sword and snarls, “Two quick deaths,” before making sure his death will be slow and painful. And then she unties Jaime, declaring, “I don’t serve the Starks. I serve Lady Catelyn.”

What this episode really highlighted was the ambiguity of the entire war. There are no good guys and bad guys, something that the Hound was trying to drive home to Sansa last week. There are only people doing what they feel they have to do. We cheer for Tyrion, even though we don’t want the Lannisters to win. Stannis is a brilliant fighter and probably deserves the crown more than anyone, but we’re not rooting for him, either. Brienne just killed the men that would have followed Ned Stark into battle and stood behind him, but they were bad men, and Ned made terrible choices and trusted the wrong people. Pycelle tosses a coin at Tyrion and sneers, “For your trouble,” in the same way Tyrion had given coins to Pycelle’s whore. We look at that as him being terribly cruel, but Tyrion acted first, and from Pycelle’s point of view, it was lovely vengeance. Jaqen opened the gates to let Arya out, but he killed men who had done him no wrong and probably had wives and children. Daenerys locks her favourite girl in a chamber with Xaro, where they will most likely suffocate to death before he’ll be able to rape her repeatedly and eat her corpse (I’m really hoping they run out of air).

These are not good people. But, like candidates in any Canadian federal election, they’re all we’ve got, and we have to find a reason to like one more than the others. Unlike a Canadian federal election, it’s much easier to find things I like in the GoT characters.

Now, my first question of the week that’s kind of driving me batty: I thought Sansa was leaving with the Hound last week. What was she still doing standing in Joffrey’s court? Did I miss something?

Christopher:  Huh. Interesting. I never assumed she was going with him—it seemed clear to me that she was turning down his offer. But then, that might have been because I’ve read the book and know she doesn’t go with him (that would have been a BIG deviation from the story). Perhaps we should poll our readers and see who thought as you did?

I didn’t find this episode to be any sort of letdown, though the shift back to the usual form of storytelling was a bit jarring. One way or another, I don’t see how they avoid that in the aftermath of “Blackwater” (aside from not doing “Blackwater” to start with … and, well, that’s just silly-talk). But for all the slower pacing of the episode, there were some pretty spectacular moments: Brienne showing the Kingslayer she can handle a sword, Jon Snow killing Qhorin, the triumphant return of Daenerys as something more than a petulant girl—and running into Drogo on the way!—and burning creepy Abed the warlock to a crisp, Jaqen H’ghar changing his face after offering to train Arya to be a Faceless Man … and of course that chilling (ha!) final shot of the White Walkers and their army of snow zombies.

Snow zombies. Let me say it one more time: snow zombies. OK, I think I’ve geeked out enough over that now.

We need Herschel and his infinite supply of bullets.


I might as well start with that ending sequence. I’m interested to hear what other avid GRRM readers thought of it—do you think it does your own image of the wights and their masters justice? Our first really good “look” at an Other doesn’t happen until book three, but I certainly am not complaining here. I’m also a little relieved, as the one real glimpse we’ve had previously, in the prologue of the very first episode, made the Walker look like some sort of tribal savage (I seem to remember complaining about that). But here it looked more obviously like something born of winter. Here is how the Other gets described in A Storm of Swords:

A horse’s head emerged from the darkness. [He] felt a moment’s relief, until he saw the horse. Hoarfrost covered it like a sheen of frozen sweat, and a nest of stiff black entrails dragged from its open belly. On its back was a rider pale as ice … The Other slid gracefully from the saddle to stand upon the snow. Sword-slim it was, and milky white. Its armor rippled and shifted as it moved, and its feet did not break the crust of the new-fallen snow.

So we do have a vaguely primitivist conception of the Walkers on the show—the Others we see are milky white, as described in the book (or blue-white, at any rate), but are naked but for breechclouts, and they look something like frozen mummies, with gnarled and dessicated bodies. But they’re pretty terrifying one way or another, especially considering they seem to be shepherding a rather large army of wights.

I did wonder why that final scene looked familiar, and you put your finger right on it—it is TOTALLY reminiscent of The Walking Dead. I don’t imagine we can accuse Weiss and Benioff of ripping of TWD, given how closely in time both episodes would have been in production. I wonder if W&B watch TWD—if perhaps they saw that penultimate episode and thought, “Ah, crap.”

Probably not. There was a certain similarity, but then it’s not exactly an original shot, having been done in a variety of ways in a host of zombie films. But GoT does have one thing going for it: snow zombies!

Nikki: The snow zombies were awesome. And I’m not sure poor Sam can survive that (will all of them walk right by him and leave him alone? Not likely…) The mantra from the first episode onward has been “Winter is coming…” and it appears that the wights actually brought winter with them. The guy on the horse was absolutely terrifying, and you’re right: they DO look like frozen mummies! Well put. Craster’s daughter-wives had better have some more sons, quick. Looks like those wights will need some sacrifices soon.

Very strange on the Sansa thing! In my write-up last week I talked a lot about how her decision to go with the Hound was an awesome moment, and you didn’t correct me at all (in fact, I believe you said it was an excellent reading of the scene). You are one sneaky guy.

I was discussing this final episode with the people at work, and none of us read the books and all of us had assumed Sansa had gone with the Hound and were completely confused. Hm… That’s too bad. I really would have loved to see those two roaming the countryside together.

The OTHER two people who I’d love to see roaming the countryside are Arya and Jaqen. Last week I made a comment that I wish he’d have joined her, Gendry, and the fat kid. So when they looked up and saw him on a hill, I squealed with joy. My dreams had come true! He’s going to travel with Arya! He’ll be her mentor and we get to continue to hear him speak funny and give those strange sidelong glances at her and HOLY CRAP WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO HIS FACE??!!

I know the writers have to adhere to the books, but
couldn't they just have changed his hair and kept
the same actor? :( 


The… HELL?? He gives Arya a coin and tells her if she ever runs into a man from Braavos, to say “Valar Morghulis” to him, and she will find Jaqen. “Jaqen” is dead (perhaps because she used his name in vain two episodes ago by naming “Jaqen” as the third person she wanted dead?), and she must now use the name Valar Morghulis. Wasn’t Arya’s “dance instructor” from Braavos? If he and Jaqen are from the same city, I want to go to there. It’s clearly the city of awesome.

Is it possible that Jaqen and Arya’s dance instructor are the same person with different faces? Her instructor was left behind to defend himself, and we didn’t see him die, if I remember correctly.

And I’m not sure how much you can reveal at this point, but are we to assume he’s from a particular group of people who can change their faces, OR is that just something he can do, OR is it something that men from Braavos do?

I will miss the old red-haired/white-haired Jaqen. The new guy looked a little snarly.

Christopher: Huh. I just reread last week’s post, and I totally didn’t get that you meant Sansa was leaving with the Hound. It’s a good thing I’m not in a profession that values close reading or anything.

It never occurred to me that Syrio and Jaqen could be the same person—as you pointed out, we don’t see him die (we don’t see him die in the novel, either), and the three men in the cage with Yoren’s group all come from the dungeons of King’s Landing. It’s an intriguing thought … but as much as I like the idea, I don’t think it’s likely. The Faceless Men of Braavos are a secret society of assassins; Syrio was a master swordsman serving the Sealord. From what I know of those two groups of people in Braavos, it seems unlikely that the latter would moonlight as the former, or vice versa. Too bad, really …

Braavos DOES seem like a wicked cool place though, and I’ll be very interested to see how they render it visually for the series. It won’t happen until at least season four, though … five if they split A Storm of Swords into two. It’s described as being a lot like renaissance Venice.

(To be clear, I’m not giving anything away about Arya’s future: maybe she goes to Braavos, maybe she doesn’t. There are other characters who go there).

To shift to another part of the story: what did you think of Varys this week? I love how they’re developing his character. He’s so obviously out of sorts when Littlefinger is honored by the king that one wonders if his overtures to Ros are partly out of revenge. That scene with her was invented, by the way: and though it was a vindication of the principle that the writers can’t have Ros on screen for more than thirty seconds without getting her naked, I thought the entire sequence added a level of depth and nuance to Varys that, frankly, we don’t get in the novels. His reasons for approaching Ros are obviously complex: on one hand, he sees an opportunity to get a spy in Littlefinger’s camp, and exploits her abuse at Joffrey’s hands to that end. But unless he’s feigning concern (not out of the realm of possibility), he seemed genuinely upset at what she suffered. We understand that, however much his polite fencing with Littlefinger looks just like two old hands playing a game, he genuinely despises Baelish … perhaps as someone who has himself suffered grievously at someone else’s hands, he has the kind of empathy unavailable to Littlefinger.

"Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"


Of course, I could be totally wrong, and that was all just an act. But my sense is that we’re supposed to see him as genuine in these moments, as we are when he thanks Tyrion and tells him that some people know he’s the city’s true savior.

Though not, apparently, his father or sister or nephew. He wakes in a slovenly little room, having been ignominiously kicked out of the Hand’s apartments by his father. He has had everything he built up taken away—Bronn relieved of command, the city guard in the pocket of either Tywin or Cersei, his hillsmen sent packing with a handsome recompense that takes them out of Tyrion’s debt and into Tywin’s. And to top it off, his sister’s pet Pycelle has been restored and he smugly throws that fact in Tyrion’s gravely scarred face.

Last week you said the following, apropos of Tyrion’s possible death: “I don’t think he could be dead. He’s important, he’s KEY, and Tywin just showed up. Tyrion and Tywin could be a serious force to be reckoned with … Tyrion — the ironically nicknamed ‘Half Man’ — has just proven himself to be the only worthy Lannister. Tywin should be pretty impressed, and I doubt they’d kill him off the show just when he’s finally about to prove himself once and for all to his father.” You noted that my response might be spoilery, and you were right … because I was sitting there, sort of flapping my hands, saying “Omigodomigod, you have no idea how bloody ungrateful everyone is going to be!” Tyrion can’t win with his family—his sister loathes him, his nephew is never about to forgive him his slights, and his father will never allow him to forget that he’s (1) a dwarf, and (2) not Jaime. Give him credit for, you know, saving the city? Not likely.

Nikki: And you have no idea how much I just laughed, picturing you bouncing up and down on your chair and squealing, “You are so wrong!!” That is hilarious. I don’t say this enough, but you deserve major kudos for letting me blather on week after week (and also letting the commenters say things in the comments below when they haven’t read the books, either) and never saying, “Oh, you think so? WAIT TIL YOU SEE!!” Instead you use some enigmatic words and I never glom on to what’s going to happen. (See Stark, Ned: execution) So thank you for that, my friend!

But yes, I was completely shocked that rather than finally being lauded as the One True Lannister, he’s locked up in an attic. I guess the hint was back in season 1, in the scene where Tyrion faced Tywin in his tent as Tywin was skinning a deer. I don’t remember much of what was said in the scene, since my eyes were fiercely trained on the ghastly nature of Tywin skinning a deer, but it was clear that he respected Tyrion’s mind, but Jaime was the beloved one.

Man's gotta have a code.


And while I’m watching the battle scene last week and thinking that Tyrion was a true hero, even in the moment where he appears to have vanquished the baddies, the others are yelling, “Half Man!” to cheer him on. Not exactly the chant any Lannister would want their house associated with. Tyrion might have won, but he made a grave error in Tywin’s eyes: he was seen. Tyrion’s mind is important, and Tywin wants him to use it, as long as he stays in the background and works out strategies so heroes like Jaime can execute them. Tyrion is NOT meant to be paraded in front of the world, reminding them all that Tywin’s sperm helped create a dwarf. Tyrion is supposed to be the brains behind the operation, and Jaime is the one to be lauded publicly as the true hero.

Tyrion is well fond of the phrase, “A Lannister always pays his debts.” And I’m thinking that, in his eyes, Cersei and Tywin have some serious repaying to do.

I, too, am really enjoying Varys this season. As you suggest, it’s not clear if he’s on the up-and-up – we’ve learned to question everything that man says – but he really does seem sincere when he speaks to Tyrion, and the scene with Ros was very interesting. (That actress doesn’t get enough credit for having to shed her clothing every time she’s on screen.) His vengeance really does seem to spring from his hatred for Baelish. They seemed like two sides of the same coin last season, but as that analogy would suggest, two sides of one coin would never actually see eye to eye, and while they smile at each other, there’s always a seething resentment that each man harbours toward the other.

It’s understandable that Varys would then align himself with Tyrion, since Baelish has already declared Tyrion his enemy. Baelish clearly seems to relish Tyrion’s comeuppance in this episode, when King Asshat Joffrey grants him Harrenhal. You’ll recall that a few episodes ago, when Tyrion was pulling the old trick of telling three different stories and seeing which spy would run to Cersei, he promised Harrenhal to Baelish. The smirk on Baelish’s face speaks volumes.

And then Queen Margaery steps up and expresses her desire to wed Joffrey, which Joffrey accepts. There’s so much to say about this I don’t know where to start, but while her move is definitely political, is she cunning enough to know what a sick bastard Joffrey is? Also, isn’t she about a decade his senior? (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…) Will she know how to handle him, or will he shock her? She seemed to see right through Renly and was able to control that situation as best she could, so maybe Joffrey may have met his match. If that’s the case, I can’t WAIT to see what Queen Margaery has up her sleeve for season 3.

"I think you'd like me, Your Grace.
Just look at the cleavage I can offer you." 


Sansa, meanwhile, puts on the stricken face for the courts, but can’t contain her overflowing joy very long as she quickly shuffles out of the king’s court, a huge smile on her face and the relief palpable. At first she even had me tricked, thinking she was truly scared; I mean, if her father was executed for being a traitor, and Joffrey clearly loathes her and now she can’t offer him anything, couldn’t he just kill her and be done with the Starks? But Baelish is the smarter one – see, as far as they know, Jaime’s still a prisoner of Robb Stark, and Sansa must be kept close. That doesn’t mean Joffrey can’t do to her what he already did to Ros, and defile her in nasty, sick ways. What better way to get back at the traitor Ned Stark than to ruin his eldest daughter? She should have gone with the Hound…

Back over to Winterfell, which, sadly, is no more, here’s my next (possibly dumbass) question for you: Theon was bemoaning the hornblower outside, and was saying he was going to kill that guy and the 500 Stark men that were surrounding Winterfell. But when Bran and Rickon escaped with Hodor and Osha, there are no men. I was discussing this with people at work and this scene came up, and it had left people very confused: where did they all go? Did Theon’s men really beat them all?

To be honest, when I watched it, I assumed they’d just tricked Theon the whole time, and there were no men. I thought one of them was blowing the horn to drive him insane, since we already know the Stark forces are far away. But other people didn’t read the scene that way, and a friend of mine reminded me that he was often looking out the window, as if he could see the troops. Can you shed some light on what happened, Chris?

Christopher: Really not, unfortunately.  Perhaps they blew their budget on “Blackwater,” and couldn’t afford to depict another siege. I don’t know. And as much as I’d love to share what happened in the novel, I’m afraid of inadvertently giving spoilers—suffice to say, what we saw of Theon’s fate this week is not how it happened in the book, but I have no idea whether they plan on re-merging with the original storyline in season three, or how. So I will remain frustratedly mum (not to be confused with comfortably numb) for the time being. Do you plan to read A Clash of Kings now? If so, we need to talk when you finish it about the way they ended Theon’s story this season, and perhaps offer a spoilery blog post. Of all the things they’ve done on this show, this was one of the most puzzling. I was expecting something very different, and those who have read the books will know what I mean when I say they’ve been preparing the groundwork for Theon’s story to follow the way it happens in the novels.

"What's that? Duck? But I don't see a du-"


But to return to King’s Landing: what did you make of Joffrey’s little pantomime about having sworn an oath to Sansa? That was pretty much exactly as it feel out in the novel, and I was never sure what I thought of it then, either. Was this a ritual series of denials before the king finally accedes to his new betrothal? Or is Joffrey really just being that truculent, reluctant to give up his plaything? As Littlefinger points out, he can pretty much do with Sansa as he pleases, but he might not know that just yet.

I am VERY curious to see what happens with Margaery and Joffrey now … their betrothal in the novels isn’t that surprising or odd, considering that she is just a year or two older than him there. But casting Natalie Dormer in the role means we have a much older and more worldly-wise Margaery, so I’m guessing we should expect some interaction between her and Joffrey in season three that we do not see in the books. Which, in the aftermath of her rather frank discussion with Renly, is quite promising …

But we’ve skirted two of the big events of the last episode: Jon Snow joining the wildlings, and Daenerys getting her mojo (i.e. dragons) back. His long side-journey with Ygritte was not in the novel. In the book, he lets her go and rejoins Qhorin; and when it becomes clear at a certain point that they are going to be taken by the wildlings, Qhorin tells Jon that he must join them in order to find out their intentions … and that to convincingly do so, he must kill Qhorin. I’m glad they kept that part—though we don’t see much of him, Qhorin is a great character, and his duel with Jon is a brilliant and heartbreaking moment of sacrifice.

I guess my final question to you is: what did you think of the Daenerys sequence? I wasn’t impressed at first … and then she walks into the snowy ruins of the throne room at King’s Landing. And then through the gate in the Wall, and into a tent to see … Drogo! Drogo, sitting there with their son! I do confess, I squeed a little …

Nikki: And I squeed a LOT. As I put it to my work colleagues, after kind of boring me all season long, the Daenerys story went out with a bang this season. Her dream walk through key landmarks on the show was fascinating — she walks through the burned ruins of the king’s court at King’s Landing; the doorway of the Wall; the tent where she and Khal had set up house (complete with baby and Khal!!). First, she’s never seen King’s Landing first-hand, so this is some sort of vision that’s showing her a possible future with her dragons, I’m assuming. (I hope in this scenario Joffrey’s death was even more slow and painful than the one suffered at the end of Brienne’s sword this week.) But the scene with Khal was astounding. I gasped aloud, I was SO HAPPY to see him again, but that scene was very painful to watch. Sitting before her are the two people she longs for more than anyone — her beloved husband, and the baby that never had a chance to be born. But her reaction shows just how determined this woman is: she walks away. We see the saddened look on Khal’s face as he’s left behind, less important to her than her destiny. She recognizes that he’s not real, but that the destroyed King’s Landing very well might be. So she’s going to make that happen.



I wasn’t surprised when her dreamwalk ended with evil Abed chaining her up, since I knew that wasn’t going to last very long. The SFX on the dragons was amazing. They reminded me of a cross between my daughter’s geckos (their heads and faces) and our cats, in the way they cock their heads and their movements.

Note to HBO: You want to get fans to pony up and pay a ton of money on merchandising? Make us some dragons. I WANT ONE.

I was literally cheering when the dragons blew the fire through Daenerys and killed the warlock, and the way she triumphantly walked out of there with all three of them hanging off her. What she did next was shocking (I’ve already covered that above) but it shows that she has gone from an innocent girl to a nasty force to be reckoned with.

And so, we move to season 3:
-Daenerys is coming, and she’s on the hunt with dragons that now know how to breathe fire.
-Joffrey is still a little shit, and yet one I don’t want to be killed off right away because I’ve realized just how much I enjoy hating him.
-Theon, on the other hand, I can no longer stand, and wish someone would just off him. And those teeth of his, which look like they belong in The Big Book of British Smiles from The Simpsons
-Sansa is no longer betrothed to Joffrey (oh, and to answer your question, I believe that he was being overly dramatic on purpose, pretending that he was being talked out of something, but basically humiliating Sansa in front of the court, which seems to be his only mandate these days). Now she must find a way to escape King’s Landing.
-Arya is on the road, minus Jaqen H’ghar, but she does have a direct line to him should she ever need him. She’s filled with vengeance, and could be the one Stark who finally manages to make the Lannisters pay their debts.
-Tyrion is locked up in a tower with the ever-loyal Shae at his side (oh, how I loved that scene between them!) and the control he’s had over his sister and her son all season has been snatched from him. I’m worried about the comeuppance he’s about to face.
-Tywin is back, and seems to have put his own pride in his virility over common sense.
-Cersei will continue to drink herself stupid and be generally miserable until Jaime returns.
-Jaime’s on his way back, but he’s been a disgrace and I wonder if anything will change when he gets there. Or… is it possible he won’t get there?
-Brienne continues to be totally awesome
-Catelyn is under house arrest by her son, Robb, who feels betrayed by her. As he spits at her in this episode when she questions him breaking his betrothal vow: “Father is dead, and the only parent I have left doesn’t have the right to call anyone reckless.”
-Robb has just married Talisa and broken the vow Catelyn was talking about, which will destroy a very powerful alliance.
-Baelish has just been given more power, which is always dangerous.
-Margaery is betrothed to Joffrey, which could turn out to be bad for her, or bad for him. But one of them is going to trump the other, and I’m thinking Joffrey doesn’t know what’s coming.
-Rickon and Bran are wandering through the countryside with Hodor and Osha. Winterfell is gone, so they have to find Robb.
-Jon Snow has effectively joined the wildlings.
-Stannis has retreated from the battle despite his amazing fighting skills, and he’s angry with Melisandre for tricking him into thinking he was going to win (he almost chokes her to death). However, when she reminds him that her god is inside him, he steps back, and realizes maybe he’s got to come at things a different way. She tells him he’s the warrior of light, and he will be king. Between him and Daenerys, the Game of Thrones might come down to just who wants it more.
-Oh, and to bring it all back to where we started, TERRIFYING SNOW ZOMBIES ARE ON THE WAY!!!

Wow. And all that in 10 episodes. Game of Thrones is starting to make 22-episode network TV look ridiculously inefficient.

Thank you, once again, Chris, for being our eye into the book version of this. Last season I said I would definitely read book 1, and then I didn’t because I didn’t want to affect our banter, but now that we’re two seasons in, I might just give in. I don’t think it’ll affect our banter much, it’ll just mean we can both speak on a similar level, but bringing two perspectives to everything.

And thank you to everyone who has been reading along. We will see you again in season 3!