This Morning, While Making Breakfast...: Doctor Who's "Dark Water," Recounted by Children

[Spoilers for this past Saturday’s episode of Doctor Who, which revealed the identity of Missy.]

So I finally got around to watching “Dark Water” with my kids last night — my 10-year-old daughter and my 7-year-old son — and they were scared at times, and elated at others, and quite upset at others (especially what happened in the beginning, which I figured out the instant it happened and they had to have it explained to them over and over) but one of the biggest gasps that came out of both of them happened when Missy was revealed to be the regenerated Time Lord, (sorry, Lady), The Master. So this morning as I was making their lunches for school, my daughter was finishing her breakfast and I decided to talk to her about that.

So, what do you think about the Master being a woman?

I LOVED it. I really like Missy, and I was so excited when they said she was the Master.

What do you think about the possibility of a Time Lord being able to regenerate into a Time Lady? Do you think that means there’s still a chance the Doctor might one day be a woman, or do you think the writers are saying, “OK, you wanted a Time Lord to be a Lady, here you go” and now they won’t do it with the Doctor?

I don’t know, I guess it could be either way. It must be a little weird to suddenly regenerate into a completely different kind of body, I think. But I do hope they decide to make the Doctor a woman some day. I think that would be amazing.

Why?

Because I’d love to see what the Doctor is thinking from a woman’s perspective. Would she see the world differently? And she’d probably have a male companion. I think having two females wouldn’t be as fun, so I’d like to see them switch around.

You know, when Tom Baker was the Doctor — he’s the one with the big scarf...

Yep, I knew that...

... one of his companions was a Time Lady, Romana.

Well, if she can last forever and regenerate, and so can he, I don’t know why they just didn’t stay companions forever. That didn’t make any sense.

Well, you’re right, maybe not from a story point of view, although I think the Doctor likes his adventures with different people. But in real life they actually got married and probably didn’t want to spend all day together working.

Ah. Well, yeah. Are they still married?

No.

Hm. Well, that was just silly then.

What I think would be great is if we see John Simm’s Master regenerate into Missy on next week’s episode in a flashback.

Oh my god, that would be awesome! He was already wearing dresses and acting like a woman in that one episode when all of the people turned into him, remember? So that would be really funny. I hope they show that, too! But I really do like seeing them together, Missy and the Doctor. I think it’s interesting seeing their battle played out now with two different sexes rather than both of them being men. Sometimes I think there are too many men on the show and it’s nice to see one of the powerful ones being a woman.

Not all of the fans are happy; there are some saying they’ll never watch again because the Master is a woman and it just changed everything for them.

Whatever. That’s their problem. Every single time the Doctor regenerates he’s a different person, so how is this any different? Peter Capaldi is the “go to hell” Doctor, but Matt Smith was the, “Oh I love everyone and this is so much fun!” Doctor, and your Doctor [Tennant] was all moody, loving things one minute and hating them the next, and my Doctor [Eccleston] was very sad and cried a lot, I think. So they’re all different. What I think would be really cool is for this Doctor we have right now, Peter Capaldi, for him to regenerate into a woman, and then have that woman regenerate into ANOTHER woman. Then people will see that just because it’s a woman doesn’t mean that THAT is what makes the Time Lord different, that it’s how they react to situations. One woman might act like the 11th Doctor, and another one like my Doctor. I don’t understand why people are so weird like that. I want the Doctor to be a woman, and I want a male companion with her.

[And just as I was coasting on these words thinking I must be the best mother ever...]

[ENTER 7-year-old son]

So we were just talking about how the Master has become a woman. Are you happy about that?

Oh yeah!!

Why?

Because women are weaker than men, so the Doctor will be able to beat her WAY more easily.

[sigh]

Women are not weaker than men!! What about Wonder Woman?

Pfft. Batman would totally get her.

I don’t think so, he just has a bunch of toys hanging off his belt, whereas Wonder Woman is an Amazon.

[Daughter] That is SO stupid what you just said. Missy is pretty powerful, look at all the Cybermen she rounded up!

[Son] Pfft. The other Master did stuff like that, too, and the Doctor is going to stop Missy, he always does.

[Daughter] The Doctor stopped the Master, too!! UUUGGGHH it doesn’t have anything to do with her being weaker, women are not weaker than men.

[Son] Oh yes they are.

[Daughter] Oh yeah? I could come over there and beat you up right now and you wouldn’t stand a chance.

Okay, let’s not...

[Son] Nah, I know taekwondo.

[Daughter] I know taekwondo, too, buddy, I have a higher belt than you!! I’ll show YOU that women aren’t weaker than men!!

You know, women give birth. I don’t know anything that takes more strength than that.

[Daughter] Ha!! That’s true!

[Son] Nah, that’s easy. Baby just comes right out.

[Daughter] No, that’s not what happens, it’s—

Okay, I think that’s enough on this topic. Geez, guys, you are already prepared to be on fan forums when you grow up. Now what fruit do you want in your lunches?

[Daughter] You’d better watch it, buddy.

My Kids Review TV: Doctor Who 8.1 — Deep Breath

This past Saturday was the much-anticipated return of Doctor Who, which, if you watch the show, you know it comes with much more than "what will the new season be like?" This premiere brought with it a new Doctor, new relationships, new personalities, and even a new TARDIS. As the fifth Doctor would have said, "You've changed the desktop theme again!"

That's not the only theme that changed.

Right from the beginning of the episode, we get a new song, and new opening credits. I actually quite liked them, even though if I had to choose my absolute favourite DW opening theme song it would be the 10th Doctor's one, midway through his run, all violins and heavy guitar. It was manic and pulsating and determined. This new opening is more retro, harkening back to earlier Doctors and earlier opening themes from the Classic Series, with more synth (I half-expected the episode to open with Ace) and clocks flying by. But I liked it, and I think it'll grow on me even more with time. It was such a shift, rather than the slight change they usually make. And, best of all, it was created by a fan, and the producers liked it so much they took it, tweaked it slightly, and made it the opening. How amazing is that?

And just as that fan's dream came true, so did Peter Capaldi's. A Doctor Who megafan since he was a kid, now he IS the Doctor, and gets to come in when the show is finally hot in the U.S. in a way it's never been before, and has a renewed and reinvigorated audience. Personally, I thought Capaldi was fantastic, and I know we're heading in a darker direction, but this first episode was hilarious on so many levels, not least of all in the acknowledgement that Capaldi is best known as the always-enraged Malcolm Tucker on In the Thick of It (that show my kids always want me to show them, to which I answer unequivocally: NO). Much was made of Capaldi being an older Doctor, and that is brought up again and again in this premiere episode, more as if the writers are answering the fans than anything else. The companions have always stood in for the fans and our responses, and this episode made Clara one of us in abundance.

The 9th Doctor emerged from a place of war, having just destroyed his home planet and everyone on it. He's broken and sad, but young and smiling and there to have adventures with Rose. The 10th Doctor was also a young man, going through a particularly difficult regeneration, but one where Rose stuck by him, knowing this might not look like her Doctor, but he's in there somewhere. The 11th Doctor regenerated and then crashed his ship, and awoke to a new face and a little girl standing by his side, someone who'd never seen him before but would pledge the rest of her life to him. Of the three, only one of them carried the companion from one body to the next, and that companion accepted him pretty quickly. And none of those men looked like they were older than 35.

But everything is different now. This companion, Clara, is the Impossible Girl, the one who isn't just a companion, but has actively saved the Doctor in every body he's ever been in. If there's one companion who should be OK with seeing a new face on the Doctor, it should be this one, since she's encountered every single one of them firsthand.

Only... she hasn't. It's rather confusing, but she split herself into many selves, each one of them assigned to a different spot on the Doctor's timeline, and the Clara that we see in this season 8 premiere has only ever been with the 11th Doctor.

And here is where we step outside of the show for a second, and look around at all the young faces now watching the show. Many of them began with the 11th Doctor. This is THEIR Doctor, the one they first encountered when their parents said, "Hey, wanna watch Doctor Who with me?" In the case of my then-5-year-old son (now almost 7), it was love at first sight. He carries the 11th Doctor's sonic screwdriver around with him everywhere. He thinks bow ties are cool. And he cried for 45 minutes straight when his Doctor regenerated late last year.

But he's had eight months to get used to Capaldi's face, seeing it everywhere, knowing his Doctor is gone but a new one is on the horizon. He knows it's still Doctor Who, but he still misses his Doctor.

My 10-year-old daughter first joined us when I was going back to the beginning of the New Series with my son during the hiatus, and so her first Doctor is the 9th. She adored him, and loved the 10th, and thinks the 11th is wonderful. She seems pretty amenable to the regenerations and the new faces, so I was interested in what she would think.

So last Saturday, we all gathered in front of our televisions to watch the premiere of season 8 live. It was me, my daughter Sydney, son Liam, and Liam's friend Christian. Christian is 7 and has never seen Doctor Who before, so I was interested to see what he would think of this. Liam tried his best to prep him, with his beloved and tattered copy of the 50th Anniversary book, pointing out each villain and each Doctor and explaining what all of this meant.

I worried that the 10pm end time would mean my kids wouldn't last, but they were on the edges of their seats, wide-eyed and mired in the suspense, right until the end. (Except for Christian; we lost him shortly after 9pm when he just leaned against the arm of the couch and went right to sleep.)

The next day at lunch, I asked each of them for their thoughts:

What did you think of the new theme song? 
Liam: I liked it.
Sydney: I LOVED it.
Liam: And all those clocks swirling around were cool.

What did you think of the new Doctor? 
Liam: I liked him, but I still miss my Doctor.
Sydney: Loved him. But I like darker Doctors.
Liam: But I didn't like when he just left Clara alone in the basement with the robots.
Sydney: Yeah, that wasn't very nice at ALL.
Me: But he had a reason for doing that, right?
Sydney: I still like him.

Did you find the episode easy to understand? 
Liam: Um... yeah. But I never like the clockwork guys, they're creepy.
Sydney: I didn't get the ending, where he said he was in Heaven. What was that about, were we supposed to understand that?
Liam: Yeah, I didn't like the Heaven part.
Me: I think they're setting that up as something we're going to come back to.
Sydney: Why did that woman refer to the Doctor as her boyfriend?
Me: That's a very good question, and one I wondered about, too.
Liam: I thought it was the woman from Time of the Doctor at first, the woman in the church.
Me: Me too!
Sydney: You know what, I think we're going to find out that the woman is actually River Song! That she regenerated, and that's why she's in that place now, and looks different.
Me: Ooh, that's an interesting theory.
Sydney: And THAT is why she called him her boyfriend!
Liam: No, didn't she use up all her regenerations?
Sydney: When?
Liam: In that one episode when she was with the Doctor, the Hitler one? She says she used up all her regenerations!
Sydney: Yeah, well the Doctor said HE used up all of his, too, and then it turns out he has a whole bunch more. So... bam. It's River.
Me: Heeeheeeeee!!!!

Christian, did you like the episode? 
Christian: Yes!
Me: Would you watch it again?
Christian: Yes, I thought it was very funny.

What was your favourite part of the episode? 
Christian: I liked the dinosaur at the beginning a lot.
Liam: Yeah, I liked that, too, but I think they made it too big.
Me: I thought so, too! That was the biggest T-rex ever.
Liam: A T-rex would be a little taller than our house.
Sydney: Haha! Yeah, and this one was as tall as Big Ben!
Me: I think they need some 6-year-old boys on staff as dinosaur consultants.
Liam: My favourite part was when Madame Vastra and Jenny dropped to the floor and then suddenly Strax came flying down behind them!
Sydney: Yeah, that was my favourite part, too. I also like the Strax kept calling Clara a boy.
Christian: Who's Strax?
Liam: The one that looks like a potato!
Christian: Oh, haha! He's funny. I liked when he threw the newspaper at the woman and hit her in the face.
Liam: HAHA! Oh yeah!!

What do you think of Madame Vastra and Jenny? 
Sydney: I like them a lot, but she was mean to Clara.
Me: Yes, I agree; that was a little over-the-top. But Clara got to stick up for herself in a big way and I loved that scene.
Liam: Madame Vastra and Jenny are cool, but how can a lizard and a person be married?
Me: Well, she's like a human, right? And she's still quite beautiful even as a lizard.
Liam: True. I like Strax when he's with them.
Sydney: I liked when they kissed, that was sweet.

Did you find it scary at all? 
Christian: [nods furiously, wide-eyed]
Liam: I thought the part in the basement with the robots was scary.
Sydney: Ooh, when they made Clara hold her breath! Yeah, I didn't like that. But you know what, you haven't asked us if anything made us sad.
Me: I haven't gotten there yet.
Sydney: Can you ask that now?

Did anything make you sad in the episode? 
Sydney: Yes, when the dinosaur died. That was so sad, Mommy, why did they do that?
Me: The Doctor could understand what the dinosaur was thinking and feeling, so he was translating. The dinosaur doesn't know what these things are surrounding her, she's a stranger in a strange land, and she's scared and frightened. She just wants her world to come back and be the way it used to be. They were trying to draw a parallel between the dinosaur and the Doctor, who doesn't know who he is anymore, but also Clara, suddenly surrounded by a new and frightening world. Everything she knew seems to be gone.
Christian: I didn't like when the dinosaur died, either. I didn't like him on fire.
Liam: No, I didn't like that at all.

Did you guys like Clara in this episode? 
Sydney: I LOVE Clara.
Liam: Yeah, I thought she was awesome. But I miss Amy.
Sydney: I miss Rose.

And... what did you think when the 11th Doctor suddenly appeared at the end of the episode? Did you think that was going to happen? I had a feeling we'd have a cameo by him at some point, and so I half-expected that to happen, but it still made me so happy when it did. 
Liam: I did a gasp.
Me: [laughing and laughing]
Syd: [laughing and laughing]
Liam: But it made me miss him more again.
Me: But did you think that we needed him to be there?
Sydney: Clara needed to know that the older man was still her Doctor. And that phone call reminded her of that.
Liam: I do like the new Doctor, but I want mine to come back more. Will we see him again?
Me: Probably not; I think that was him officially passing the torch. Now we're on to the new Doctor.
Sydney: And I think Clara likes him now.
Liam: And next week there are DALEKS!! Christian, you HAVE to watch the Daleks!!
Christian: Are they scary?
Liam: A little, but they're awesome.

Doctor Who Season 8 Trailer

I was trying to describe the awesomeness of this trailer to my friend John the other day, and just couldn't do it in words. So here you go, John!

I think this is signalling the darker Doctor I was hoping we'd get this time around. I certainly hope so!! (Although... I'm wondering if that's going to put off my kids, who have REALLY enjoyed the Eleventh. Hm...)

Doctor Who: The Mandatory Viewing Webisode!!

Today the BBC released a webisode of Doctor Who that finally brings some resolution to one aspect of the series that has always been left open and unanswered. Let's just say I screamed aloud at the 20-second mark. This is absolutely essential viewing before the 50th Anniversary episode on November 23rd (although I do wonder if it will actually be a part of that episode; it seems rather important to leave out!):



But it also begs a far more important question: Does this mean I can no longer wear my T-shirt that depicts Tennant's Doctor as the 10 of Hearts?

Doctor Who with a 5-Year-Old: 1.01 Rose

A few months ago I watched The Rings of Akhaten with my five-year-old son, and I blogged about it here. It was fun watching him hiding his face one minute, and asking a million questions non-stop. At that point I decided I'd start watching the entire series with him. And then we got sidetracked by The Sarah Jane Adventures. Well... until an insanely terrifying evil clown popped up near the beginning of season 2, and it scared the bejesus out of him. So we're taking a break from that for a while as I apologized to him that no one had told me the clown from It was going to be in this supposed children's show.

Side note here... when there was a lot of speculation in advance of the announcement of the Twelfth Doctor, he heard my husband and I discussing whether or not the Doctor should finally be a woman, to which my son replied, "But there HAS been a woman Doctor... Sarah Jane!!" ;)

Today we watched "Rose." The first episode of the Ninth Doctor, and the beginning of what we call the New Series (despite the fact it's not exactly new anymore).

Him: Who's that?
Me: That's Rose, she's going to be the Doctor's new companion. Spoilers!
Him: What's a spoiler?
Me: Never mind.
Him: Why is she getting back on the elevator? Is this going to be scary? [pulls blanket up to chin]
Me: I don't know!
Him: I thought you told me you'd seen this before!
Me: I don't want to give away anything, though.
Him: This is going to be scary, isn't it?? [pulls blanket higher]

Me: Nah, it's actually kinda funny.
Him: AH!! The plastic people are alive!!!
Me: OH NO!! AAH!
Him: AH!
Me: Oh! Who just grabbed Rose's hand?!
Him: It's the DOCTOR!!!!
Me: Yay!
Him: Whoa, his sonic screwdriver is blue?! That's AWESOME. [pause] Why are all the people so worried about Rose?
Me: She works at the building that was just bombed, and they were worried she was still in the building.
Him: But she's RIGHT THERE, why are they worried?
Me: I guess it would be like if I heard something had happened down at your school, I'd race down to your school and you and your sister would be just fine, but I'd still be worried and upset because of what I'd thought.
Him: Oh. Ha! The Doctor's back! And... ooh, ah!! The hand's got him! Hahaha, look it's got him, Mommy, and Rose doesn't even notice! AH, now it's got HER!!! Wait... how did he turn it off with the sonic screwdriver?
Me: That sonic screwdriver is pretty magical.
Him: Yeah, it is... what is she typing?
Me: She's on the internet trying to figure out who the Doctor is.
Him: But doesn't she already know? He's famous! I know who he is.
Me: Not in her world, he isn't.
Him: Does he live in our world?
Me: Sadly, no. But we can imagine that he does.
Him: Who's that guy?
Me: She's going to his house because he had a website that said he wanted to talk to anyone who had seen the Doctor. See those pictures? Those are from history. That was a president in the United States and see that car he's in? He was shot and killed that day.
Him: That didn't actually happen in our world, right?
Me: Yeah, it did, unfortunately. But it was a long time ago, when your grandparents were really young.
Him: OH! That garbage pail is going to eat that guy. I just know it.
Me: I don't know...
Him: But I thought you already SAW this episode!! See?! It just ate him!! Don't worry, the Doctor will save him, right? Right, Mommy?
Me: Hm...

Him: Mommy, RIGHT?! The Doctor always saves him. I don't believe you right now... the Doctor will save everyone. Wait... he looks weird, like a doll!
Me: UH OH, it looks like Mickey is made of plastic now!! You know what I can never figure out with this episode??
Him: Why can't Rose tell that he's not real?
Me: THAT. That is what I can never figure out... how come she doesn't realize that's not Mickey?
Him: That's silly... I don't like him, Mommy. He's looking at her in a weird way in the restaurant. I don't want to watch him now.
Me: Look, someone's trying to give them champagne!
Him: I don't think I want to watch, Mommy! [Blanket is being pulled up]
Me: Who's holding the champagne??!!
Him: AH, it's the Doctor! I TOLD YOU he would save them!!!
Me: They're heading for the TARDIS! It's always fun to see a companion walk into the TARDIS for the first time.
Him: He just told her he was an alien! Hahaha... he's not an alien!
Me: He is an alien, actually. The Doctor is from another planet, remember? He has two hearts.
Him: But... he's a good alien, right? Not a bad one. He's not like THE SLITHEEN! [So far, my son's favourite alien, from season 1 of Sarah Jane.]
Me: He's a good alien, yes. And actually, the Slitheen are coming up in an episode this season!
Him: What's that goopy thing??
Me: That's the Nestene Consciousness. It's controlling all the plastic in the world and can bring it to life or not.
Him: I'm scared. They're going to throw the Doctor in there. They won't hurt him, will they? What do you mean, come to life?
Me: Like... if the Nestene Consciousness turned all plastic on right now, those Lego men on the coffee table would come to life and come after us.
Him: They're tiny. I could totally beat them if they did.
Me: True, but... UH OH! Rose's mom is going into the mall!!
Him: The plastic people are coming to life again!
Me: Wait til you see what they have in their hands!
Him: What is that? It's just a hole!
Me: It's a gun, actually, but they're being careful not to make it too scary for you. Look, Rose is swinging on the chain, she's going to save them all!!
Him: Yay, I knew the Doctor would win. The Nis-thing Connellness is going away.
Me: He's asking Rose if she wants to go with him. If the Doctor asked you if you wanted to join him on his adventures, would you go with him?
Him: Hm. I don't know. Would you be able to come with me?
Me: Oh, I don't know. I guess you'd have to ask the Doctor that.
Him: If he would let me bring you with me, then yes, I'd go with the Doctor.
Me: Me too.

Artistic Renderings of Doctor Who

My five-year-old son has moments where he disappears with his markers and paper, and he can be gone for an hour or so. When he first started doing this, I'd have those mom moments where I suddenly realized he's been gone an awfully long time, and I'd go looking for him. One hundred percent of the time, I've found him colouring with his markers.

The other day he did it again, second time that day, and I just left him alone. Then he came into the kitchen and said, "I drew some pictures I think you'll like!" And I did. :) And so now I shall share them with you.

This one should be obvious, right? It's the Doctor! Spinning through space in his police box, which just happens to be the exact same colour as space but hey! You can still tell it's him and the TARDIS, right? It's like looking at the Starry Night rendering in "Vincent and the Doctor," isn't it? 

And this is K-9! His favourite character on the show. He's not really on Doctor Who so I started watching The Sarah Jane Adventures with him, promising that K-9 would be there. And then, at least in season 1, he really wasn't. Sort of there in the first episode, sort of there in the last, but in between, my son kept asking where he was. He's drawn this from memory from the two times he saw him. :) I think his little antennae ears are folded in or something. Yeah, that's it. 

And finally, I wasn't so sure about this one, and he said, "It's Sarah Jane! And she's holding her sonic lipstick!" Hahaha! Amazing. 

Sorry this post is so short. I need to go call The Louvre. 

Doctor Who with a 5-Year-Old: The Rings of Akhaten

As many of you know, in the last few months I've been watching Classic Who, basically mainlining the key episodes from 1963 to 1996 (the last of which I completed a week ago). Having already watched the New Series and having been a big Doctor Who fan for a few years, I was curious about the older episodes, but found it daunting. With the help of a couple of Doctor Who experts, I've now seen over 200 Classic Series episodes (equal to 40 stories plus the TV movie). I'll blog on that soon, what my experience was, who my favourite Doctors and companions were, etc.

But for now, I'm saying this as a background explanation to the title of this post. I've now seen all of the Doctors, and many (not all) of the companions. I've watched New Series episodes many, many times. I could now go and try to fill in all the blanks with the remaining episodes, and even listen to all of the audio episodes that (for now) don't exist on video. BUT, even if I did all that, I'd still be a newbie.

I'll always be a newbie.

And that's because of one key factor: I didn't watch Doctor Who as a kid. I don't have the clichéd experience of hiding behind the couch, peeking around the corner. I didn't suffer through years of trauma because of the Cybermen. I didn't watch Tom Baker as a kid (that's my husband's Doctor) and want to wear multicoloured scarves. I couldn't rattle off what the letters in TARDIS stood for.

I can do most of that now. I watched much of "Blink" with my eyes covered. And there are more things in my house than I'd care to admit that are either TARDISes or Daleks. I want a sonic screwdriver. BUT... I didn't grow up with those things. The Doctor didn't shape my life and who I am today. I didn't discover him until I was in my early thirties, and even then I wasn't that interested until I picked it up again in my mid-thirties. And even then it took another few years for me get into the Classic Series, which I managed to jam in before hitting 40. I can never have the experience of knowing the Doctor as a child. Eccleston is my first Doctor. Tennant is my favourite Doctor.

A year or so ago, I was watching "Daleks in Manhattan," and my son walked in. So far the episode hadn't been particular scary, so I let him sit down and watch with me. He was only four. I worried this was too young (despite my Whovian friends saying, "Pfft, I watched them when I was in utero!!") So while this was an unfortunate episode to get him started on (I seriously dislike that episode), it had Daleks.

Nuff said.

By the end of the episode, he was laughing about the crazy pig people, and had turned a tall hamper upside-down, put it on his head, and stuck his finger out one of the holes and was wandering around the living room, robot-like, saying, "Exterminate! Exterminate!"

AMAZING.

But my mother instincts kicked in — he was only FOUR — and I decided to wait a couple more years to let him watch another one.

And then this past fall, "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship" aired. He was five. So I watched it with him, assuming it would be a fun romp (I assumed correctly) and knowing how much he loved dinosaurs. I blogged about that experience here (which to this day is one of the most-read posts I've ever written on this blog!) Then we watched the Christmas special together, and he was a little scared of the evil snowmen, and didn't quite get the snow globe, and was sad when Clara died. But he still loved it.

I watched "The Bells of Saint John" alone (AND LOVED THAT EPISODE), but this week I didn't get a chance to watch the episode on Saturday, so when he was home with me on Monday, we watched it together. And this was how it went down:

Him: Isn't that the girl from the Christmas episode?
Me: Yes, she's the Doctor's companion right now.
Him: But... she died! I saw her fall!
Me: Yes, this is a different version of her. Or something. The Doctor's trying to figure that out.
Him: Different version? But...
Me: OK, let's try to hear what they're saying, OK?
Him: Who's that girl? Is that her friend?
Me: No, they called her the queen.
Him: Why is she running?
Me: I don't know, why don't we listen and try to find out?
Him: What are those things on her face?
Me: She was born with them.
Him: Is something wrong with her?
Me: No, she's from another planet. If you went to another planet and they didn't have noses, and they saw you, they'd touch your nose and say, "What's THAT?!"
Him: [silence as he tries to wrap his head around it]
Me: [enjoying the silence]
Him: Why is she going back to that guy who was chasing her?
Me: Well, Clara convinced her that it's OK to be afraid to do something.
Him: Why is that guy singing?
Me: I don't really know... I think it's kind of a lullaby to keep him asleep?
Him: Keep who asleep?
Me: They said it was a god.
Him: GOD?!
Me: A god. It's A god. Oh look, I think it's the guy in the chair.
Him: I'm scared, he looks scary. [pulling the blanket on the couch up to his chin]
Me: He IS pretty scary-looking. I hope they can keep him asleep.
Him: What is she singing?
Me: I don't know. Must be the lullaby or something, maybe they have to sing it together? I'm not quite sure what's happening at this point, but that's OK. Sometimes Doctor Who doesn't make a lot of sense, but we love it anyway.
Him: What? Why would you... AH, I think that guy is waking up! [pulls blanket over his head]
Me: UH OH!!!
Him: AAAHHH! Tell me when he's gone! Is he God?
Me: He's their god. I think? He's a pretty scary-looking god.
Him: [peeking out from blanket] Did they just say he's a vampire??? That doesn't look like a vampire.
Me: Well, vampires look like different things depending on the show or the lore, really.
Him: Why is their god a vamp– AHHH!!! [pulls blanket over head again]
Me: He does NOT look happy.
Him: How are they breathing if it's outer space?
Me: [silence while I try to wrap my head around that one]
Him: Is the Doctor going to save her? Why do they keep showing her mother?
Me: Well, her mother says she'll always come for her.
Him: So is her mother coming for her?
Me: Er... no, her mom's dead. So...
Him: So how can she always come for her?
Me: I don't know. Maybe... I don't know. I  think they're trying to say that the mother comforted her with this when she was a kid, knowing that Clara would always have friends who would come for her? And now the Doctor is like that friend.
Him: What's that blue electric stuff?
Me: The little girl is holding Clara against the glass. With her mind or something.
Him: Why?? Clara's trying to save her. AAAHHH! The Vampire is going to get out!! [blanket up]
Me: Well, she has decided this is her fate, I guess, and she's scared if the Doctor and Clara get her out of there, then she won't have done her duty and everyone will die.
Him: Will they??
Me: I don't think so. I think they're believing in the wrong god, or...
Him: Wait, what did the Doctor just say? What does he mean that wasn't the god? Alarm clock??
Me: Oops, they just realized that the guy in the chair ISN'T the god, but instead just the thing that lets them know when the REAL god has woken up. Or something.
Him: So who's the real god?
Me: THAT.
Him: What? The three scary guys?
Me: No, THAT. The sun.
Him: That's a sun?
Me: Well... it kind of looks like a jack-o-lantern, doesn't it?
Him: Haha! Yeah, it's a jack-o-lantern. So... why do they think it's a god?
Me: In their particular culture, they pray to this thing because it's powerful and menacing, and they're scared of it. So they call it a god.
Him: What is the Doctor saying to it? Why does it want memories?
Me: They said when it wakes up it's hungry. And I guess it feeds on memories.
Him: What does that mean? How do you eat a memory?
Me: Well, remember that woman who rented the motorbike thing to them? She wanted something that meant something to them, not necessarily something that was financially valuable. So in this culture something's worth is only what it means to a particular person. It makes sense they've gotten that idea from this god.
Him: But how does he feed off that?
Me: Well, that I don't know. Um...
Him: What's the Doctor saying? What does he–
Me: Sh-sh, this sounds important.
Him: But...
Me: Sh-sh, maybe it'll explain things. [And then Doctor launches into that FANTASTIC speech that reminded me of Roy Batty's "I've seen things you people will never see" speech at the end of Blade Runner. Apparently my son figured out how much I was hanging on every word and he stopped talking for a minute.]
Him: Did it work?
Me: I don't know.
Him: Why is Clara coming out to him?
Me: Because her mother said she'd always come for her, and now that the mother isn't around, Clara needs to come for him. When you're older, it becomes a mutual relationship.
Him: Why does she carry that book?
Me: That's sort of her, well, thing. In the last episode we were shown the book. The numbers are her ages.
Him: OH! That's the leaf that hit the guy in the face at the beginning!
Me: That was her dad, and yes.
Him: Why is she holding it up?
Me: Well, I guess the Doc's speech didn't hold up, and now she's holding out the thing that made her possible, that made this moment possible. And therefore to her, it's the most important thing in the world. It wouldn't mean anything to you or me, but on this planet, the meaning it has to her — more important to her than even her mother's ring — is that makes it important and special.
Him: Is the god going away?
Me: Yes, I think the sun is dying away. He thought he wanted the memories, but the importance of this one seems to have destroyed him, because there was nothing bad about it? Or something? I'm not sure, actually. But he's gone, that's what's important.
Him: What about the vampire?
Me: I guess he's gone, too.
Him: That episode was AWESOME.

When he's older, he might still watch Doctor Who, or he may not, but he'll have had the experience I never did: sitting on a couch, not quite understanding what was happening but loving it anyway, hiding from the scary monsters but desperate to come back out and be scared all over again, and knowing that no matter what, the Doctor will save the day.

How to Define a Doctor Who Fan...

Another of the many reasons why I love The Bloggess.

Dinosaurs... on a SPACESHIP!

So I was watching last week's Doctor Who episode "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship" with my son, and when the Doctor and his gang spot the first two dinosaurs, I mock-screamed and said, "AH! What would you do if two dinosaurs were running after you??" My son said, "That dinosaur's not a meateater, so I wouldn't be scared."

"Oh... really? Um..." It was pretty scary-looking. I just assumed that thing ate meat.

So... so... so true.

"It's a plant eater. The Doctor needs to be careful of his big tail, though, they have clubs on their tails..." and just then the ankylosaurs (for that's what they were, according to my son) came smashing around the corner, their club tails flailing. "See?" he said, beaming.

Next the Doctor inadvertently teleports himself to what appears to be a beach, and exclaims that pterodactyls are after them. My son referred to them as pteranodons instead, and said once again it's unlikely they'd eat any meat other than fish. "But they might peck at him with their beaks or something." At this point I could no longer stifle my laughter. (Or my astonishment and awe.)

And that's when I realized that what the Doctor REALLY needs in his gang is a five-year-old boy. ;)