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2008: The Year that Was

And only a week after everyone else has done it, here is my best of list for 2008. What a crazy year. On the international stage, the United States finally has a president who can complete a sentence without a non sequitur and dodged the Alaskan bullet, while at home, it was a difficult year for many of my friends. Just the other day I was thinking about how last Christmas was a certain way for many people I love, and this year it was entirely different, marked by absences. I hope they made it through OK.

On the television front, it was a year of strikes, disappointments, endings, beginnings, and more endings.

Saddest Cancellation of a Television Show: Pushing Daisies. I don't know if I'll ever get over that one, to be honest. It was colourful, funny, kitchy, and awesome. The Writers' Strike cut its first season short, and ABC attempted to roll it out a second time this past fall, but new viewers were nowhere to be seen. I guarantee you this show will go down as a massive cult classic like Freaks and Geeks, with people like me whining 10 years from now into our chips and dip that it ended too soon.

Funniest Jack Donaghy Line on 30 Rock: In the Christmas episode, Liz asks Jack if he knows the Postmaster-General. He says yes, but they haven't spoken for a while because they had a fallout over the Jerry Garcia stamp. "If I wanted to lick a hippie," he says, "I'd return Joan Baez's phone calls." My husband and I were screaming with laughter.

Funniest Moment, Period: I already blogged on this, but when Jan shows up for a baby shower on The Office, she describes having a tub birth, and Creed's response is still something that makes me laugh just thinking about it (especially because a friend of mine had a tub birth in her home, and her husband once explained rather graphically to us what it was like for him cleaning it up afterward):
Kelly: Uh, so you're in the tub with everything?
Jan: Oh yeah, the afterbirth floats.
Creed: Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.

Biggest Reality TV Disappointment: After a gabillion seasons, America's Next Top Model finally went off the rails when Tyra Banks lost her mind. In the opening episode she emerged from some futuristic time machine thing like that vessel Jeff Goldblum stepped into in The Fly, appearing completely whacked-out and robot-like, while her cohorts stood nearby, all silver-haired and insane. I quit watching at that very moment, only to be pulled back in by a friend who assured me the next episode wasn't nearly as crazy. So back I came, only to see the makeovers with Fairy Godmother Tyra in a little box in the corner talking in a weird high-pitched voice about what magical things she was going to do with their hair and makeup. I hit Stop on the PVR, deleted the episode, and never watched again. You used to be a funny kind of crazy, Tyra, and now you're just CRAZY.

Best New Reality TV Obsession: So You Think You Can Dance. This show is freakin' fantastic, and I've never had a dance class in my life. This series doesn't spend the first 2 months highlighting the "hilarious" Clydesdales who show up for the auditions like another reality talent show that shall remain nameless, but instead celebrates dance and its many forms. From Bollywood numbers to some contemporary routines that brought me to the edge of tears, I can't get enough of this show. Next installment doesn't start until the spring (curses!) but I cannot WAIT. The Canadian version was in the fall and I'll admit I only caught the last half. It was good, and by the end it was excellent, but I need my screechy Mary week after week.

Series that Returned to its Former Glory: Friday Night Lights. Most people haven't seen it and are waiting for the January start on NBC after season 3 aired on DirecTV in the US, but it is SO worth the wait. Season 3 is glorious: I realized I care about these people like family, and when they're hurting, I'm hurting. Two major characters make their exits from the show, both wrapping up their storylines beautifully, but able to return if the show makes it to a fourth season, which it probably won't. A new character showed up with his family and started off as a bit of a disaster, but by the end I cared about him, too. God, I love this show.

Top 8 Lost Moments of Season 4 (check out THAT use of the numbers!):
8. The Oceanic 6 reuniting with their families as they get off the cargo plane.
7. Ben referring to Alex as his daughter in the first episode and Rousseau cracking him in the face with her elbow.
6. The return of Old Smokey as he flies into New Otherton and takes out the freighter folk.
5. Sawyer racing through the compound amidst a hail of gunfire to save Claire. :::swoon:::
4. Hurley and Ben sharing the chocolate bar while Locke went into the cabin to talk to Jacob's cohort. It was funny for its silence, and seemed like such a banal thing to do while the world was being changed inside that cabin, while at the same time suggesting that Hurley accepts Ben now.
3. The look on Ben's face when Keamy shoots Alex in the back of the head.
2. Desmond calling Penny and her picking up on the 15th ring, and the lovely way they begin to finish each other's sentences in delight.
1. Sayid blinking his eyes hard when he sees Nadia at the airport hangar, as if he can't believe his own eyes and is trying to convince himself he's not dreaming. It's wonderfully done. Yeah, I'm a sucker for reunited love.

Favourite New Show: Mad Men. Okay, I know it's in its second season, but I just caught on this year because it was not easily available in Canada. I started watching the show from the beginning as the second season and was piling up on my PVR, and I ADORE it. Jon Hamm is magnificent, and Betty Draper is one of the most complex characters on television, hidden inside a very uncomplex package.

Most Shocking Series Finale: The Shield. Without giving any spoilers, something happens in the finale that made my hand fly to my face, I gasped aloud, and immediately started weeping. I don't think I've ever had such a sudden and visceral reaction to something like that before.

Most Expected Series Finale: The Shield. Because Globe and Mail reviewer John Doyle, in his year-end column, GAVE AWAY the very ending that made me weep, despite the fact the season hasn't yet aired in Canada (yeah, I'm downloading it, but I've bought every season on DVD and will buy this one, too, so they'll get their money out of me). AGAIN making me wonder, why the HELL does anyone want to KNOW spoilers in advance?! I think my immediate reaction was because I knew what was about to happen in the next scene (though, because he didn't give specifics, I didn't know the nature of it), and my heart leapt into my mouth a moment earlier than it normally would have (this was only, of course, after watching about six episodes leading up to it where I thought, "Will it happen now? Now?"). After 7 years of watching that show, I really wish the guy had kept his mouth shut and allowed this loyal fan to watch it spoiler-free. Sigh.

Most Amazing Series Finale: Ok, it's a tie between my two favourite cop shows, now done: The Shield and The Wire. The Wire, which killed off a very important character a couple of episodes from the end in a completely unexpected way (thank you, John Doyle, for not mentioning THAT in your column), ended beautifully, showing that the world will go on, the sun will continue to rise and set, and things will get better, then worse. It didn't pretend to have the answers or wrap up everything in a lovely little bow, but instead showed us the world as it really is: dark, angry, depressing, hopeful, funny, loving, confusing, and difficult. WATCH. THIS. SHOW. The Shield wrapped up years of Vic Mackey in a way that was more satisfying than the way Tony Soprano's storyline ended up. Mackey's always told himself that everything he did was for his family, but it wasn't. It was for himself. And at the end of the series, what happens to him runs counter to everything he'd been working (and stealing and killing and silencing) for. Amazing.

Favourite SNL digital short: This one:



I actually watched it the next morning on my PVR before it became a viral phenom and was howling with laughter. I've seen it a million times since then. This is the first single of The Lonely Island's new CD, and the faces that Samberg and Akiva Schaffer make in the video (the DJ, Jorma Taccone, is the third member of the group) are worth the entire thing.

Easiest (and Most Fun) Target: Sarah Palin. It used to be Rebecca Eckler, but Ecky isn't nearly as interesting as Palin. I just wish the woman wouldn't make it SO freakin' easy. Her campaigning — which actually made George Bush look like a Rhodes Scholar — was legendary. The only thing that outshone her was Tina Fey's inspired impression of her. She refuses to believe it had anything to do with the campaign's outcome. I respectfully (and happily) disagree.

Favourite Fan Experience: The Buffy conference in Arkansas. I loved the people I met there, made new friendships that continue through blogging and emails (and postcards with Buffy stick figures -- thank you, Cedar!) and now 2010 seems SO far away. We need to find an excuse to all get together again and hang out. How about a weekend conference in my living room? It will involve Buffy viewings and we could even write papers if we want. I'll put up a sign-up sheet soon. :) Ian posted on his blog that Parade Magazine also included the Buffy conference in its year-end wrap-up, calling it one of the quirkiest events of the year. Ha!

Biggest Anticipation for 2009: Lost season 5 and Dollhouse. Joss Whedon back on my telly... I don't have words for what this means to me. And Lost's season 4 was just too fabulous, so season 5 is HUGE for me.

My New Boyfriend: I am sorry to tell you this, Desmond, but I have found another. It's been a lot of fun, and I thank you for keeping that blue shirt slightly open for most of season 4, but... I've met someone else. His name is Chuck Bass. Oh Chuck. You join a long list of fantasies that begin with Luke Skywalker and include Bo Duke and Spike, but you are the first one who is younger than I am. Sigh... but that is OK. I'm willing to let that one go if you are. You are so wrong for me, but when you gave in to your mourning over your father and curled up in bed with Blair, that was it: I was yours.

Worst Boyfriend: Henry on Ugly Betty. I mean, come ON, Betty, Gio is RIGHT THERE and he is SO superior. Henry, on the other hand, got a girl pregnant and decided to stay with her during the pregnancy with her understanding that he will dump her like a ton of bricks the moment that baby rears its head. Yeah, that's some prime manhood, there, Bets. Sigh. Thank god he hasn't shown up yet this season. Gio's only made a cameo. And super-cute dude across the hall turned out to be a dud. I want Gio back.

Best Comedy that No One Watched Until It Was Too Late: Aliens in America. This show killed me week after week, but NO ONE seemed to watch it. I blogged on it, no one commented. None of my friends turned on to it. It was risky and had its hugely politically incorrect moments, and I loved every minute of it.

Most Graphic Thing I Saw on Television: On Dexter, the other serial killer on the loose this season was "The Skinner," who would gouge out large sections of people's skin until they died. Near the end of the season, we saw the skinner at work. I wasn't watching the screen after about 5 seconds of the scene. Gnarl on Buffy was bad enough. :::shudder::: Dexter, by the way, continued to be fantastic, and somebody PLEASE give Michael C. Hall that Emmy!

Most Inspiring Thing I Saw on Television: CTV's W-Five aired a documentary called Peace Warrior, about soldier Trevor Greene, a Canadian who was stationed in Afghanistan when he was hit in the back of the head with an axe. I've talked about him on this blog before (here and here) because I worked with Trevor on his amazing book about the missing women in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. When I heard the news, I was shattered. I was interviewed early on for the documentary and offered them some background, but I was unprepared for what I would see in the show. I hadn't seen him since the "accident" and the images of him being taken onto the aircraft with his head bandaged and half his skull gone were very difficult for me to handle (I think I started sobbing at the beginning of the episode and didn't stop until the end... though it was for a very different reason I was crying at the end). He has recovered his speech, some of his upper body motor skills, and is determined to walk despite so many experts telling him he won't (they don't know Trevor). At one point the interviewer asks Trevor what he would say to his attacker if he could see him again, and he says he'd say sorry, because he walked into his village with a gun, and his colleague shot and killed him, but Trevor is still alive. Wow. Keep an eye out for this show to re-air.

Favourite Jon Stewart Moment: Describing Dick Cheney's completely unsurprising support of John McCain, Stewart shows a clip of Cheney announcing his backing, and Cheney coughs at the end of it. Stewart then imitates him, doing his own version of the announcement where he's coughing and hacking so hard and so loudly he can't get a word out. I was laughing so hard I stopped breathing. I kept that on my PVR and watched it about a half million times before finally erasing it.

Favourite Thing About My Blog: The commenters, good and bad. I was at first surprised, then baffled, then amused by the people who came onto my blog during the election campaign and used it as their personal sounding board for Why the Republican Party Is Awesome, and while some of them made me want to pluck my eyes out with a fork so I wouldn't have to read the drivel anymore, I miss them and almost wish there was some Republican stuff happening in the media so I could spark the debates again. But I'm not the sort of person to goad just to bring them back. I actually had a lot of respect for the ones who used a name or reasonable facsimile to argue, knowing this was a blog written by a non-conservative and read by a lot of non-conservatives, but sadly, the anonymouses ruled the roost. But then again, if you were a member of the Republican Party, wouldn't YOU remain anonymous, too? (KIDDING... I'm not goading. Really.) But I also wanted to take this opportunity to thank all of you who come and read my posts and comment on them (or not), whether it's because you like what I say or hate it. Some of the comments on here throughout the year have been some of the most insightful writing I've read, and after going to other boards and seeing some of the dumbass things people write, I'm constantly grateful that I have such an intelligent readership. Keep the comments coming... you guys make my day.

Sarah Sings...

So, first she's actually funny on SNL, and now she's like a beat poet. Looks like she had a bunch of things to choose from for the beauty pageant talent competition!!

Seriously, this is inspired... (thanks to Jonathan for the link!)

Will the Real Sarah Palin Please Stand Up?

Brilliant. Sarah Palin might win more votes through this appearance than anything else she's done on the campaign trail. (Let's hope that doesn't happen.)

Tina Fey Does it Again!

And not only does she nail Palin in that debate, but all of Joe Biden's foibles are portrayed beautifully in this as well (I loved the bit about him taking a bullet for McCain... who is clinically insane). LOL! Now why can't the rest of the program be this funny?!



UPDATE: I just found this Letterman tribute to Sarah Palin. It's completely unfair and out of context, yet, somehow... true. :) Take it away, Letterman!



And finally, for those Canadians among you who are also following our own election (yes, we have one, too, but it's a matter of weeks unlike the American one, which seems to take about 2 years), check out the latest Rick Mercer spoof, care of my pal Jeremy's blog. It's BRILLIANT.

Nucular Disaster

I just saw this T-shirt. You can order it on a shirt, hoodie, mug, you name it, here.



Here's another great one:



And finally, one I think I might get:

The Sarah Palin Drinking Game!

I wish I could have created a drinking game for the vice-presidential speech tonight. But I was stunned at how many times Sarah said the following things. If you really were playing a drinking game, you'd be as trashed as Palin's future son-in-law in the first 10 minutes if you were taking a drink every time she said one of the following:

"Darn it!"
"Up there in Alaska..."
"Maverick"
"Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac"
"Nuke-You-Lar"
"I love America!"

Or:
-said something folksy: "I don't know what the fancy folks in Washington think, but darn it, up there in Alaska where I'm a maverick..."
-grinned like the Cheshire Cat into the camera as Biden was speaking
-referred to hockey moms, soccer moms, or Joe Six-Pack

I think one of my favourite moments was when she said, "Say it ain't so, Joe, you're bringing up the past, doggone it!" Hahaha!

Was she terrible? No, she wasn't. She avoided most of the big questions, kept diverting things back to the damn energy stuff so she could mention her energy-rich state over and over, and the only times she was called out on not answering a question she said, "I may not answer the questions the way you guys want me to, but I’m gonna talk straight to the American people!!" But I think she was prepped well, looked straight into the camera to "the American people" watching at home. She certainly had a loose handle on the facts... but I expected nothing less.

The only times I ever got really angry was when she acted all shocked and frustrated that Biden was bringing up policies and track records of the Bush Administration. John McCain has been a FUNDAMENTAL backbone of the Bush Administration, he is a powerful and vocal member of a party that has had a disastrous run. But of course, she had to deflect those questions to try to trick the American people into believing that McCain is some sort of non-partisan candidate who actually challenges his party.

This debate didn't seem to change the game at all, but it was still interesting to watch. I think Palin held her own, I think Biden did an excellent job once he got going (and began looking into the camera more), and I think both of them really backed their candidates. Did it change anyone's mind? No. If for some ungodly reason you thought Palin was qualified before this debate, you probably still think the same, and if you thought she was unfit, you still do.

When the moderator asked about the problem with nuclear weaponry in Pakistan, I turned to my husband and said, "Twenty bucks says she pronounces it nuke-you-lar" and he took the bet.

Silly, silly man...

I've gotta go collect my money now.

Tonight's Must-See TV!!

Well, folks, Thursday night funnies (i.e. The Office, My Name Is Earl, etc.) are being pre-empted, but I can assure you they're being replaced by something that is WAY funnier: the vice-presidential debate! Never before in history has a televised debate between two VPs been more anticipated than this one. The last time Joe Biden was involved in a major debate, he screwed up his finish so badly he ended up dropping out of the race. And whenever Sarah Palin opens her mouth, her entire staff or handlers cringe in the corner, praying to God that He will help her shut her mouth and actually answer ONE question openly and honestly.

I think in the last few weeks it's been made extremely clear that Palin is absolutely unfit for this job. Republicans are angrily telling critics to back off, and saying Sarah is a fast learner. Uh... being next in line to the most powerful office in the world is NOT the place for on-the-job training. Tell her she's anti-feminist because she wants to take away a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body, and she'll tell you that YOU are anti-feminist and are coming down on her because she's a woman. Criticize her for having nary a clue about foreign policy, and she'll tell you that while you have to read a paper to find out what's going on over there, she just needs a pair of binoculars. Ask her about health care, and she'll tell a funny anecdote about Fred from Anchorage who once went into the hospital for gangrene and it turns out he'd just gotten green lint on his toes from his socks. Ha! Ha!... ha. Ask her if she can name a single newspaper or magazine where she gets her news from, and she'll say you're just part of the Washington elite.

Seriously. Check out this YouTube clip where Katie Couric asks her to name ONE newspaper in the world.



Note the trademark deflection, the waving of the hands, the generalization, the changing of the topic, and turning it around on Couric by making her look like she's anti-Alaskan? Don't ever accuse Sarah Palin of being an idiot: When it comes to making herself look like she has a clue when she doesn't, she's a genius. Republicans would say Katie Couric was lobbing a hard-nosed question at her and then quote some softball question she'd given Joe Biden. Give me a break. There's GOT to be a point when Republicans just take off those damn hypocrite hats and wake up and say sorry, Sarah, you've gotta go.

I initially said to friends, "If I were Joe Biden, I'd just sleep in until 5 minutes before the debate." But Biden's smarter than that. You can't underestimate a person who can win over Americans by being cute, waving a flag, and dodging every question. After all, she made it to Alaskan governor by doing the exact same thing.

One of her biggest rivals is Andrew Halcro, who debated her for the Alaskan governorship. He said often she'd be up there rambling on about something that had absolutely nothing to do with the question, and while the other candidates came to the table armed with real data and research, she had nothing more than a handy anecdote, a quick quip (what's the difference between a pitbull and a hockey mom) and a biting comment about her rivals. They'd roll their eyes, only to look out at the room and see she'd entirely enraptured her audience.

Here's CNN's fact-check of her acceptance speech:



In tonight's debate, Sarah will make several gaffes (one can hope), possibly have the home audience in stitches (one can pray), but will undoubtedly have FOX News claiming that she'd hit that one out of the park, and quote from her endlessly. Middle Americans will wave their flags proudly and pat themselves on the back for allowing a woman to come *this close* to the White House. Jon Stewart will have fodder for MONTHS.

But Joe Biden has to lay off, and I'm thinking that will be his strategy. He can out-answer her on every single point, but he'll be best served not showing her up, not actually quoting facts (Republicans will say he's being mean to poor widdle Sarah if he does that), not coming down on her stance on abortion (Republicans will criticize a man for taking a stance on a woman's body, despite the fact McCain and Bush do the same thing... that's DIFFERENT, people!). So far, Biden's been able to stay pretty quiet in the campaign while loud-mouthed Sarah's been out there -- "ALASKA!!" -- digging her own little grave while McCain support dwindles. He probably needs to do pretty much the same thing. Let her stand there and make a fool of herself, or let her stand there and talk about Alaska and health care and newspapers and Russia and NATO in the most general of terms so she can trick people into thinking she actually knows something, and then give it a couple of days for the world to actually look at the transcripts, realize she didn't answer a single question, and her handlers can clean up her mess.

But knowing her, they won't be able to. One thing is for sure: Tina Fey will be watching, and I cannot WAIT to see her reenacting the debate on SNL. Remember: Joe Biden made a mistake in a campaign once and stepped down so it wouldn't hurt his party. While Republicans are quoting this gaffe endlessly (in an effort to pin ANYTHING on Biden at this point) what that showed is that he put his party first. I'm not sure Sarah would ever step down, because she wants in there so badly.

Matt Damon said it best when he said this is all like some crazy Disney fantasy movie, where a hockey mom from Alaska suddenly finds herself in the White House by accident, and begins winning over politicians and voters with her folksy charm and wisdom.

The problem is, the Disney movie isn't real. And it comes to an end. If the Republicans actually win this one, we're all doomed.

"I'd like to use one of my lifelines..."

I used to love Tina Fey. Now I want to marry her. (But if Sarah Palin makes it into the White House, I guess THAT won't be happening...)

Last night's SNL opened once again with Palin, this time parodying the Katie Couric interview she stumbled through this week. Tina Fey might have left SNL, and Amy Poehler is on her way out, but here's hoping they keep coming back to reprise this. They've hit upon comedy GOLD.



Seriously, Sarah Palin interviews are quickly becoming must-see TV. Tina Fey doesn't actually make up a lot of what Palin says. She's becoming notorious for dodging questions by rambling so much she doesn't actually make any sense, thus baffling her interviewer into forgetting what they'd originally asked.

In the actual Katie Couric interview, when Couric asked her what she really means when she keeps mentioning Russia's proximity to Alaska, Couric responded:

“That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and on our other side, the land — boundary that we have with — Canada.”

When Couric pushed her on the point, asking if she's ever been involved in any foreign negotiations, she answered:

“We have trade missions back and forth,” said Ms. Palin. “We do. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the airspace of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there. They are right next to our state.”

As Bob Herbert of the NYT wrote, "It was surreal, the kind of performance that would generate a hearty laugh if it were part of a Monty Python sketch. But this is real life, and the stakes couldn’t be higher." He cautioned, rightfully so, "The alarm bells should be clanging and warning lights flashing. You wouldn’t put an unqualified pilot in the cockpit of a jetliner. The potential for catastrophe is far, far greater with an unqualified president."

Stuff for a Monday

So much to say, so little time. When I'm not back at work I'm rushing to get dinner ready and then it's helping my daughter with her homework (in junior kindergarten?? Has the world gone COMPLETELY crazy??) and then getting the duo to bed and then working on Lost. Uh... wait, is there TV I'm supposed to be watching??

Heroes is on RIGHT NOW and I'm working on the Lost book. Argh. Here's hoping I can watch it soon. I'm behind on Gossip Girl, but last week's ep TOTALLY rocked. Loved it. I love Chuck Bass as much as I hated Edward in Twilight, and yet they're both jerks. Maybe it's because Chuck doesn't hide the fact he's a dick, and Edward's dickishness is something we're not supposed to notice.

I've seen the first episode of The Shield, and it's brilliant. (K, you must watch so we can discuss!) LOVE this show.

The Emmys were last night, and I was pleasantly surprised to see a new guard stepping up. 30 Rock won best comedy, which is great, Mad Men won best drama... I just finished season 1 and am beginning season 2, and I really love it. Connor Peter is a bit of a caricature, but that's what makes him funny. I still love how enamoured he was of the chip and dip in season one -- "The chips go here and in the middle it's this sour cream concoction with little dried onion bits, and you DIP the chip in!" I said to my husband that I MUST find a chip dip holder that is that horrific-looking. I can't imagine a world where chip dip didn't exist. Good god.

I'm actually pretty happy with most of the awards last night, with the exception of one MAJOR one. Gabriel Byrne did not win for In Treatment. The man carried -- CARRIED -- 43 half-hours of a show in a single season, and was in virtually every scene. And he's absolutely brilliant in every scene. He ran the gamut of emotions in this show and I don't think I've ever seen a performance like his in a single season. If he HAD to lose, I would have accepted Michael C. Hall for Dexter, but he didn't win, either. It went to Bryan Cranston for Breaking Bad. I haven't seen it, and now I need to check it out because that better be one helluva groundbreaking performance to take down those two men. It just seems impossible.

Michael Emerson didn't win it for Lost, which sucks, but it went to Zeljko Ivanek for Damages, and I must admit, he's pretty freakin' amazing in that. (And hey, he's Juliet's bastard husband, and the guy's a character actor legend, so I'll let him have it without bitching too much.)

Maureen Dowd of the New York Times let Aaron Sorkin take over her column today and imagine a meeting between Barack Obama and Jed Bartlet. The result is pretty funny, even for the way over the top writing of Aaron Sorkin:

OBAMA They pivoted off the argument that I was inexperienced to the criticism that I’m — wait for it — the Messiah, who, by the way, was a community organizer. When I speak I try to lead with inspiration and aptitude. How is that a liability?

BARTLET Because the idea of American exceptionalism doesn’t extend to Americans being exceptional. If you excelled academically and are able to casually use 690 SAT words then you might as well have the press shoot video of you giving the finger to the Statue of Liberty while the Dixie Chicks sing the University of the Taliban fight song. The people who want English to be the official language of the United States are uncomfortable with their leaders being fluent in it.

OBAMA You’re saying race doesn’t have anything to do with it?

BARTLET I wouldn’t go that far. Brains made me look arrogant but they make you look uppity. Plus, if you had a black daughter —

OBAMA I have two.

BARTLET — who was 17 and pregnant and unmarried and the father was a teenager hoping to launch a rap career with “Thug Life” inked across his chest, you’d come in fifth behind Bob Barr, Ralph Nader and a ficus.

OBAMA You’re not cheering me up.

BARTLET Is that what you came here for?

OBAMA No, but it wouldn’t kill you.

BARTLET Have you tried doing a two-hour special or a really good Christmas show?

OBAMA Sir —

BARTLET Hang on. Home run. Right here. Is there any chance you could get Michelle pregnant before the fall sweeps?

OBAMA The problem is we can’t appear angry. Bush called us the angry left. Did you see anyone in Denver who was angry?

BARTLET Well ... let me think. ...We went to war against the wrong country, Osama bin Laden just celebrated his seventh anniversary of not being caught either dead or alive, my family’s less safe than it was eight years ago, we’ve lost trillions of dollars, millions of jobs, thousands of lives and we lost an entire city due to bad weather. So, you know ... I’m a little angry.

OBAMA What would you do?

BARTLET GET ANGRIER! Call them liars, because that’s what they are. Sarah Palin didn’t say “thanks but no thanks” to the Bridge to Nowhere. She just said “Thanks.” You were raised by a single mother on food stamps — where does a guy with eight houses who was legacied into Annapolis get off calling you an elitist? And by the way, if you do nothing else, take that word back. Elite is a good word, it means well above average. I’d ask them what their problem is with excellence. While you’re at it, I want the word “patriot” back. McCain can say that the transcendent issue of our time is the spread of Islamic fanaticism or he can choose a running mate who doesn’t know the Bush doctrine from the Monroe Doctrine, but he can’t do both at the same time and call it patriotic. They have to lie — the truth isn’t their friend right now. Get angry. Mock them mercilessly; they’ve earned it. McCain decried agents of intolerance, then chose a running mate who had to ask if she was allowed to ban books from a public library. It’s not bad enough she thinks the planet Earth was created in six days 6,000 years ago complete with a man, a woman and a talking snake, she wants schools to teach the rest of our kids to deny geology, anthropology, archaeology and common sense too? It’s not bad enough she’s forcing her own daughter into a loveless marriage to a teenage hood, she wants the rest of us to guide our daughters in that direction too? It’s not enough that a woman shouldn’t have the right to choose, it should be the law of the land that she has to carry and deliver her rapist’s baby too? I don’t know whether or not Governor Palin has the tenacity of a pit bull, but I know for sure she’s got the qualifications of one. And you’re worried about seeming angry? You could eat their lunch, make them cry and tell their mamas about it and God himself would call it restrained. There are times when you are simply required to be impolite. There are times when condescension is called for!

OBAMA Good to get that off your chest?

It's REALLY funny stuff. Read the entire thing here. (Thanks to CJ for the link!)

Speaking of the election, if you've seen the Sarah Palin interview on ABC that sparked Tina Fey's impression of her, you'll love this straight parody of the interview (even better, watch the Palin interview right before it and you'll see that they're playing the parody really close and not making much up).



I read with my jaw sort of on the floor today the news that Jamie-Lynn Spears' baby daddy took pictures of her with the new baby, and in one pic she's breastfeeding it and you can see part of her left breast. When the guy took the pics to Wal-Mart to get them developed, an employee looked through them, saw the pic of the boobie, and immediately tried to sell it to the papers. It's gone missing, and an investigation is underway saying if that is published it's tantamount to child porn because of Jamie-Lynn's age (I am SO not making this up). Which led me to this thought: What's worse, the fact a low-life photo developer tried to pawn off pictures of a new mother while she was simply trying to feed her baby, or the fact that Mr. Jamie-Lynn Spears TOOK HIS PICTURES TO WAL-MART to get them developed???

Dude: GET A DIGITAL CAMERA.

UPDATE: I'm being told it was a memory card that he took to Wal-Mart, which actually doesn't change my shock at his stupidity. Did he really need to save money on processing those photos? Couldn't he have found a more discreet retailer, a photo developer to the stars or something? You can't tell me Jennifer Garner is taking her baby pics to Wal-Mart for developing.

"It's Just God Hugging Us Closer"

One of the first things I thought when I saw Sarah Palin was, "Wow, she REALLY looks like Tina Fey!" I wasn't the only one. Everyone's been making that comparison. Thankfully, this past Saturday, Tina Fey indulged us all by doing a pitch-perfect caricature of Palin to open this season's SNL, and it was genius.

You can watch the clip here.

It was a brilliant way to show what The Daily Show has been playing up for the past week: that the appointment of Sarah Palin to John McCain's running mate and the accusations of "Sexism!!" coming from the Republican camp is just highlighting one of the major cornerstones of that party: their love of the double standard. They mock Hillary Clinton for being a woman, but glare and wag their fingers with a dour, "For SHAME!" if anyone levies the same comments at Palin. Karl Rove, as Jon Stewart pointed out, blasted Obama's running mate because he was formerly the mayor of the "small town" of Richmond, Virginia (pop. 200,000) and says that anyone who has that in their background is just showing irresponsibility and a complete lack of credentials for the job, yet when Palin was appointed (mayor of huge town, pop. 9,000) he said she was perfect for the job.

With hypocrisy being of utmost importance within that party, Palin is the candidate for them. I particularly love how she touts her "choice" to have her baby even when she knew he had Down's, or her daughter's "choice" to go through with her own teen pregnancy, while vowing to remove that choice from any other women should she win.

But enough about Palin: Please tell me you saw Jon Stewart's comparisons between Foghorn Leghorn and Senator Fred Thompson, and Droopy Dog and Sen. Joe Lieberman. I was doubled over laughing. It was BRILLIANT. (I'd post the clip, but it's been taken down everywhere.)

UPDATE: I've got the clip! (Thanks, Memphish, for the US clip!) If you're in the U.S., you can watch it here, and in Canada, here. Watch the entire thing; the lead-up to the cartoon character bit is just as funny.