Tuesday, March 02, 2010

While You Wait for Lost...

(Just a quick reminder first to go and click on Chris Temple's bid for a grant to open an arthouse coffee place that would give free art lessons to kids!)

First things first... something I really should have mentioned all last week, and Sunday, and especially yesterday morning: GO TEAM CANADA!!! Woohoo!! I hope you were watching as our evil Canadians played against the genteel Americans and Sidney Crosby KICKED ASS. That was a wicked nailbiter of a game... what a proud, proud day for Canucks everywhere! I was so happy. I actually really loved the Olympics (I usually love the Winter Olympics... crazy fact: I gave birth during the 2004 Summer Olympics; as I was in labour I was watching the men's high dive) and there were so many great stories of hope and tragedy and sadness and happiness... it was like a story being unfurled on my TV, with athletic prowess being thrown in the mix for good measure. I'm going to miss them.

It's Lost Day, kids! And I've been posting some goodies all day, but now I wanted to throw out an idea to everyone and see what sort of Photoshoppers I have in my reading audience. I've made several jokes on here that my dream on Lost is for Jack to walk past a bookshelf and my entire series of Finding Lost books would be on it. Surreal and metatelevisual all in one! But since that will never happen, I want to see if you help me pretend it happened. Since my Photoshop skills could be fit on the head of a pin, could anyone out there try their hand at inserting my books into scenes? Maybe Sawyer could be reading one on the beach. Or Ben could be holding one in his hand (who better to be giving Ben his secrets than this evil Canadian?!) Or they could be lining bookshelves. Or Kate could be ready to throw one at Sawyer's head. Or a polar bear could be catching up on his reading. Or John Locke could be playing backgammon on one. The possibilities are endless! Just not for someone like me. Here's an example of me attempting it.

Pretty mad skills, eh? You should have seen the one where Ben was carrying it through the camp. He looked like he was taking a novelty cheque to a big lotto winner. Send me what you come up with and I'll post them here with credits to you, and ultimately I'll pick one to adorn the top of my site (if I can figure out how to do that... and if I can't, I'm sure someone out there could help me). Technical genius here, folks... look out.

I also wanted to tell you to tune in to this blog immediately after Lost ends... I'm hoping to have my blog up at exactly 10pm. How will she do that, you might ask? How WILL I do that, I respond, Miles-like (seriously, do you know how many times I use that line these days to avoid questions?) OK, fine, I'll tell you: I'm time traveling, too!

And now, without any further ado, this week's installment of haiku, brought to you by last week's episode, "Lighthouse"!

I discovered that
Lost is tough to watch in a
Mexican resort.

Skeleton baby:
Creepiest thing of all time.
Claire's in Crazytown.

And now, the angry deleted scene... in haiku:

"I can see you. I
thought I was special, but you
Just wanted Jack." Sniff.

"I'm in a red shirt
Walking through the damn jungle
Dude, what about me?!"

"Now calm down, Hurley.
Last guy who said that, added,
'Just die in a fire.'"

"I'm sick of questions!
Now you bring me up here, and
Offer answers?" SMASH!!!

"You guys have waited
And now I'm here and you are
Angry? WTF?"


humanebean said...

Jungle Hair Claire™ seems
really happy that she and
Flocke are BFF

humanebean said...

Now Jack can't decide
if he's the Zen Master or
Casey at the bat

humanebean said...

Now wait a minute
how come the Lighthouse was lit
before they went up?

humanebean said...

Wait a minute, Jin.
You're married. And with that axe,
Claire's a swinger.

Joan Crawford said...

He looked like he was taking a novelty cheque to a big lotto winner.

Ha! I think that has its own merit.

humanebean said...

Dude! Jacob can be
a bit sketchy with details.
Ask some more questions!

humanebean said...

Back at the Temple,
did Jacob sneak bubble bath
into the jacuzzi?

Mark R.Y. said...

Jin finds creepy thing
Animal carcass in crib
Seen Vincent lately?

(I know - I'm not the first one with this joke!)

Fred said...

With all the King clues,
I would laugh had Claire's best friend
Been Stephen himself.

On the rocks, Jack thinks
Three thousand miles I roamed, just
To make this island my home.

Know it doesn't fit, but someone had to bring Otis into it.

Mark R.Y. said...

Wow! Jack has a son!
A real piano whiz!
Who the heck's the mom?

Anonymous said...

I have a quick comment/theory/question regarding last weeks episode "Lighthouse". Jack asks Hurley why they havn't ever seen said lighthouse before, Hurley responds that they just "weren't looking for it". Well with that logic, maybe, just maybe...the statue is not broken. It is still standing whole, but the thing is nobody can see it yet. Crazy?

Batcabbage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Batcabbage said...

No Nirvana for
Alternate Universe Jack.
Just rhythm and blues.

“Jin, think you can walk?”
“Probably not. You see, I
Have this GAPING WOUND!”

I just lied to a
Samurai! I think that means
He can kill me now!

Jack only said ‘your
Mother’, not ‘Sarah’. Shocking
Reveal coming up???


Jack, why’d you come back?
I came because Jacob told
To. I’m like that.


I thought the Island
Would fix me, since drugs, drink and
Kate didn’t do it.

“Claire, Aaron’s with Kate!
He is telling you the truth!”
“Oh, OK then….” CHOP!

Maybe Claire’s “baby’s”
An Island Action Figure.
Collect the whole set!

This week’s Lost Challenge:
Figure out what animal’s
Skull Claire used. Creepy!

“Anything about
The door being jammed on there?”
“It’s just a guide, dude.”

“Why was he watching?!”
“I don’t know, Jack. Jacob, he
Didn’t tell-“ “JACK SMASH!!!”

humanebean said...

@batcabbage - brilliant! "rhythm and blues" and "collect the whole set" are my new faves.

Gillian Whitfield said...

Jin may have been
lying about Kate.
Claire was not.

Not-Locke and Claire
chilling out. What is
He in her eyes?

Ali Bags said...

Nikki - do you realise how many hours I could waste brushing up on my photoshopping skills? My last project was to photoshop a colleague's head onto a picture of a naked winter Olympian
Naked Winter Olympians!
but you've given me a real challenge now. Not real much work is going to get done this week.

Ali Bags said...

That link doesn't work. here are the naked winter olympians. Viewer discretion recommended:


Fred said...

One was Hoffs Drawlar,
Another Canton Rainier;
Anagram "lighthouse."

Alice has two cats,
like Adam and Eve, black and
white, perhaps a clue?

Each time something red
appears we know a link has
been made between worlds.

When Dogen appears
a wise man like Locke he seems--
this cannot last long.

We watch on, helpless
Your son plays well, so much weight,
If island Jack knew.

Ali Bags said...

Jacob's beginning
to piss me off more than Jack
I'm on Smokey's side.

SonshineMusic said...

Jack is a father?
But who is David's mother?
I hope we find out.

Tic Tac Toe always
ends in a draw so they say
Clue to the end game?

Could David's IPod
Have "You All Everybody"
Playing on repeat?

Have you ever tried
to get Jack to do something?
It's impossible!

If there's one thing that
Will kill you on the Island
It is "infection"

Adam and Eve's cave
makes a reappearance now
But still no answer

Shannon's inhaler!
It was lying on the ground.
Used, new or missing?

Genghis Otherton
In AlternaWorld is weird
Don't know what I think

Jacob is starting
to creep me out just a bit

Joan Crawford said...

@Humanebean - Jungle Hair Claire™ Haha! I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize for always calling you "Humanbean" until just now.

@Batcabbage - Those are all great! I love “Claire, Aaron’s with Kate!
He is telling you the truth!”
“Oh, OK then….” CHOP!

@Alibags - Right on!

Joan Crawford said...

@Sonshine - Jacob is starting
to creep me out just a bit

Does this mean he gets shifted to the creepy/palatable column? ;)

SonshineMusic said...

@Joan: not palatable. Just starting to be a bit creepy :P

VW: joksonc - when the Joke is on C.

Batcabbage said...

@Sonshine: All excellent! I'm walking around the house singing 'You all everybody' in a high pitched voice. Brilliant!

@Ali: LOL! Go Team Smokey!

@humanebean: Jungle Hair Claire (I can't do the TM thing all little like you did) should be her universally recognised name now.

humanebean said...

@Joan - no worries! You can buy a vowel anytime you like.

@batcabbage - the more I see her, the more it seems to fit!

Ali Bags said...

Is Jack going to
shoot his own son because
he plays Chopin to?