Monday, May 21, 2012

The Avengers! Not just for smart people...


After watching people on Twitter and Facebook bragging that they’d seen The Avengers seven or eight times and being extremely jealous that I still hadn’t seen it ONCE, I FINALLY got to see it on the weekend. And while a friend of mine warned me that it may have been too overhyped, I’m happy to report that I loved it. I loved every scene The Hulk was in, I thought the casting was phenomenal, and while Tony Stark’s arrogance was a bit much in certain scenes, he was playing to character, exactly who he’s been in the Iron Man films.

Oh, and I am deeply, madly, passionately in love with Tom Hiddleston’s Loki.

But just as you may be thinking that statement makes me a total girl who’s not worthy of seeing a Marvel film, I can tell you I’m far more equipped to see it than some others. And the least qualified to see it was the girl sitting next to the guy to my right. They came in just as the movie was about to start, and somehow those two seats were free. They sat down, and he made some geeky remark and she giggled and I thought, “Ah… lovely. True fans.” As the previews ended and the Marvel insignia lit up the screen, he began jumping in his seat and said, “I am so crazy excited to see this!!!!” and she laughed. And then? They talked through the entire film. Mostly because she was SO thick he had to explain what was happening at every turn. At first, it was truly hilarious.

When Black Widow tries to recruit Bruce Banner to join The Avengers, he keeps referring to “the other guy” in an effort to avoid saying “The Hulk.” He tells her that every time he tries to do something, “the other guy” stops him, and he lives his life in fear that “the other guy” will control him again, and he needs to keep “the other guy” under wraps. Finally the girl beside me says, “OK, I’ll bite. Is he like schizophrenic or something?”

You know when people say their jaw dropped? My mouth literally dropped open. I would have thought she was joking if her boyfriend didn’t immediately start loudly explaining it to her. “No, see, he’s actually the Hulk.” “Oooh!! The Hulk is in this?”

????

“And, so, what… the Hulk is like, in him?”

I just wanted to turn my chair to the side and face them… I was loving The Avengers, but this was FAR more entertaining.

As the bad guys first descend from the sky, and come straight towards the Stark building, blowing out the S, she says, “Is that the Stark building?” REALLY?!

Later, in the midst of them blowing the shit out of Manhattan: “So… is this what you would call Gotham City?” “No, honey, that’s what Batman would call it.” I didn’t say that, but wish I had.

The funny disappeared when Loki’s men blew out the engines of the S.H.I.E.L.D. aircraft and Iron Man was outside fixing it, and the guy was LOUDLY talking through the entire scene, explaining to his dumbass girlfriend who Hawkeye was (that was already established), who Captain America was (we’re 90 minutes into this and you haven’t figured out who Captain America is yet??), why Loki was after S.H.I.E.L.D., and why the Hulk turned on Black Widow. If you’ve seen the movie, you know how bloody loud this scene is. I couldn’t hear it over him.

Dude. Next time you go see a Marvel movie? Leave her at home. Please. Rent the film when it comes out, and explain to her the wonders of the comic book world (no, honey, the guy from Cabin in the Woods didn’t grow his hair long and become a god… he’s playing a different role here) and we won’t have to suffer through her stupidity.

But beyond these two brain trusts, the movie was awesome. Joss infused it with some of his classic dialogue, the Hulk was fantastic (especially when whooping Loki’s ass), Loki was mesmerizing when he stood in the cage and taunted everyone who came by, and there’s a scene that was like geek porn: In a fight between Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America, who would win?

Guess you’ll have to go see the movie to find out. I know I’m heading back soon.

Oh, and I wish I’d spoiled myself just this once to find out who Alexis Denisof was playing. I scoured every scene searching for him, only to find out he’s the very first guy you see in the movie. ARGH. He was just covered in so much makeup there’s no way I would have known it was him. Since the ending of the movie was clearly setting up The Avengers 2, here’s hoping Loki continues to be the key villain. As long as they don’t hurt him too much. (OK, fine. I’m a girl.) 

20 comments:

RickR said...

I loved the dialogue! It was so....Joss.

"Are you ever going to NOT fall for that?"

And the scenes with the Avengers squabbling with each other could have been the team at Angel Investigations. Or the Scoobys.

Efthymia said...

Maybe the couple beside you were scientists conducting an experiment on patience and politeness. It makes more sense than a person ACTUALLY asking these questions.

I was also looking for Alexis Denisof throughout the entire film, and when it was over I felt very bad about myself ("How could I have missed him?!"), but IMDb made me feel better ("-THAT's how!"). Enver Gokaj was easily spotted, though. :)

I looove Mark Ruffalo, so I was very excited to have him be in the film, but I could never have predicted the awesomeness that is the Hulk in the Avengers! He steals the film. Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark is in this, and STILL the Hulk steals the film!

The one person I cared even less about seeing than the Hulk was Black Widow. I haven't really liked Scarlett Johansson in anything she'd done after Lost In Translation (and even that was Bill Murray's film anyway), I felt she was reaching Tom Cruise levels of over-estimation, and I would describe her appearance in Iron Man 2 as "standard-hot-girl-in-a-catsuit", but here I realised that all the poor girl needed all along was to be given a descent character who wasn't sexy/femme fatale. Not only was I fine with her performance, I actually hope to have a Black Widow film! Ah, Joss, you and your women...
(I still hate her for making out with Matt Damon, though.)

Colleen/redeem147 said...

How many times did you tell them to shut the f up? Because I would have done that. I usually start with shushing then it escalates.

I'm planning on inventing a dart gun that puts other patrons to sleep for the duration of the film. I wouldn't have found the discussion amusing.

Anonymous said...

"Loki was mesmerizing when he stood in the cage and taunted everyone who came by..."

It evoked a better-mannered Angelus trapped in the cage in season 4

Sara said...

I admire your restraint; I'm pretty sure I'd have ended the night being arrested for a double homicide if I'd been the one sitting next to them.

yourblindspot said...

So very great. Lives up to every word (and box office dollar) of the hype. But I would have had a hard time playing it cool with Chatty Cathy next to me. As it was, I laughed so hard that I missed lines both times I saw it.

Did you stay for the final post-credits joke? I walked out of the theater with the biggest smile on my face.

The Question Mark said...

Yeah, I was looking for Alexis, too, and I had no idea that was him. Even his trademark suave accent was altered to an unrecognizable point. I hope he returns as Thanos' underling in Avengers 2!

@ NIKKI: That thick girl is frriggin' HILARIOUS. I had a similar experience when I went to go see "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer". There were four younger teenage guys sitting next to me, and this is literally what some of their in-movie conversations sounded like:

GUY #1: The Human Torch is the fire one, right?

GUY #1: Yo, did you see that guy?! He was silver! He was on a surfboard....Guys! I think that was the Silver Surfer!!!!

GUY #1: Yo, is that the bad guy from the FIRST movie?
GUY #2: No, I don't think so. The bad guy from the first movie was Dr. Doom. They keep calling THIS guy VICTOR Doom.

And so on. For two hours. :P

Anonymous said...

I loved it too - especially the face that the scene in Germany is actually Public Square was shot right here in Cleveland Ohio!!!!

Also some of the fight scenes in the end as well. I'm still mad at myself for not going to open casting last summer to be an extra and kneel to Loki.

BTW Nikki - did you say that girl was thick - as in stupid? I've never heard that before - is it a common expression you Wildlings that live "North of the Wall" use?

-Tim Alan

Suzanne said...

I am so glad you got to see it, Nikki. We went last weekend for my son's birthday and loved every minute of it. Of course, I was looking for Wesley, too, and never saw him. I really want to see it again. Everything was awesome, but I loved the Hulk best. I adored the TV show as a kid and have always been disappointed in his various movie incarnations in the past. Leave it to Joss to get it right finally!

Black Widow's characterization was very strong, which should be no surprise given Joss wrote this. As has been pointed out in so many of the reviews I have read, it is also no surprise that Joss was able to write for an ensemble cast as well as this, too. He really is amazing.

Nikki, you must be one of the most patient people around because what you describe with the impolite viewers would have driven me to distraction. I doubt I could have enjoyed the movie.

Unknown said...
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Nikki Faith said...

Great post Nikki! Glad you finally got to see it!! :) Can't believe the girl you were sitting next to!!! Hilarious and annoying wrapped into a ball of crazy! It was fun to read your commentary on her.
I too scoured every single scene looking for Alexis. When it ended, I didn't know how I could've missed him... til I too got home and looked it up. D'oh! Impossible!!
Did you get two credit scenes in Canada? I know the UK only got 1. We got 2 in US and they were great, especially the final one!!!
With love,
The Other Nikki ;)

Michael Holland said...

(no, honey, the guy from Cabin in the Woods didn’t grow his hair long and become a god… he’s playing a different role here)

LOL

Well written, as always, Nikki!

georgiapreach said...

An incredible movie. The action sequences were bar none. My favorite scenes: Hulk and Thor standing on the ship after fighting the bad guys. It seems they have found community and then Hulk punches him! Classic! And Hulk treating Loki like a rag doll was great!
Quality Joss Whedon work.
Sorry about the movie viewer goer next to you.
Try to avoid them at Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises

Nikki Stafford said...

GUY #2: No, I don't think so. The bad guy from the first movie was Dr. Doom. They keep calling THIS guy VICTOR Doom.

Question Mark: that just seriously made me laugh out loud (and I'm working from home today, so I can do that).

If I'd been there with my husband, he would have told them in no uncertain terms to zip it (there probably would have been a few expletives in there, too). As it was, I kept leaning to my left, where my best friend was, and passing on the gems and the two of us were giggling... I said to her, "I WANT to tell them to shut up, but some of this is comedy gold."

Tim Alan: Interesting! I use "thick" all the time to refer to stupid people and never realized that was a regional thing. I wonder if it's a British term?

EvaHart said...

Glad you enjoyed it, despite the unexpected running commentary!
I too was worried that it wouldn't live up to expectation, but it definitely did, although as usual I still found some things to pick at. ;)

Totally agree with you about Loki, Tom Hiddleston is amazing- well all the cast are. Hopefully Thor 2 will bring more Loki- centric moments!

And yes, we definitely use thick in the UK, although I've never thought of it as an exclusively British term...

Colleen/redeem147 said...

GUY #2: No, I don't think so. The bad guy from the first movie was Dr. Doom. They keep calling THIS guy VICTOR Doom.

As a FF fan who watched the films - he was neither. Worst part of the movies.

Page48 said...

"Thick" (see also "thick as a brick"). We Canucks have a way with words, eh?

Black Widow had me at "Iron Man 2" and this little "Truth Be Told" moment from "The Avengers" did nothing to throw me off her bandwagon.

Tom Speelman said...

Nice review!

Although, in case no one's pointed it out yet, Alexis Denihof's role was voice only. I'm assuming his character, The Other, was all CGI.

I feel terrible that you had to sit next to a real thickhead. But hey, the guy was obviously a geek and when it comes to romance, a geek's gotta do what they can.

Eamonn (or is it Aemon Targaryen, the Dragonknight?) said...

On a somewhat unrelated note...I kept hoping there would be a flashback scene in The Avengers that showed the brief time that Ned Stark sat on the Iron Throne. I mean, c'mon he's GOTTA be Tony Stark's ancestor! it just fits TOO perfectly! Ned Stark, Iron Throne....Tony Stark, Iron Man. 

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