Monday, June 01, 2009

Jossless Buffy = INSANITY

So there's lot's more hatred out there for the new Jossless Buffy idea. You probably all read the one about Joss Whedon being asked for a comment, in which he said, "I hope it's cool." The end. And then hung up his cellphone, threw it against a wall, ran to the closest wooden chair, ripped off one of the legs and staked himself in the heart with it. OK, maybe that last part didn't happen, but I know I certainly felt like doing that to MYSELF. GRR... ARGH.

This comic made me laugh LOTS. Especially because of my love for Twilight (see profile pic for proof of that love). :)

You can read the illustrator's thoughts at his site here.

I hope the Kuzuis hear the outcry of the enraged fans and media. I've yet to see a SINGLE article that says, "You know what? This could be a really good idea." Because it's not. And everyone except the money-hungry Kuzuis knows that. Part of me hopes they do it, that they sink $100 million into it and lose every penny. But then the movie would still be out there. And then, needing more money, they'd probably sell the Buffy rights to Michael Jackson or something.

We need to keep opposing this. No Jossless Buffy! No Jossless Buffy!

Help me out here. What would a Jossless Buffy be like? How about:
• Lost without Darlton
• A car without a steering wheel
• The Fellowship without Gandalf
• Bohemian Rhapsody sung by Screech from Saved by the Bell
• Macaroni without cheese
• Galactica without Adama
• Opus without Berke Breathed
• Alice in Wonderland written by Bobcat Goldthwait
• Buffy the Vampire Slayer without JOSS frickin’ WHEDON


Batcabbage said...

I'm going to deny the existence of a new Joss-less Buffy movie like I do the existence of Twilight. It's quite easy to do. My best friend, an excellent fellow in almost every other facet of life, loves Twilight. Loves it. He loves the novels, and the last time he was over my place, he said he was going home to rent the dvd of the so-called 'movie' of Twilight to watch it again (he saw it at the movies, too). He asked me 'You haven't seen Twilight, have you?' 'No,' says I. 'Why not?' he asked. 'Because I've seen Buffy. I've seen the whole thing before, written infinitely better than that woman who thinks she had an original idea. I have no need to see an inferior knock-off.' He wasn't offended, but only because he's my best friend. Stupid Twilight! Stupid Joss-less Buffy! Deny it! It won't exist then. Just like the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street! Stupid hollywood! Have an original idea, you bastards! Stop raping my childhood/adolescence!!!!

Anonymous said...

Well said, Nikki, well said.

B.J. said...

Hah, I love that comic.

I read "Twilight," and I thought it was garbage. Not only is it poorly written, but it is harmful to young girls' (the target demographic) sense of what a fulfilling relationship should be. What's worse are the so-called "TwiMoms" I heard about at this year's PCA conference--middle-aged women who read the "Twilight" books and fantasize about Edward Cullen.


JJ said...

Apparently the Kuzuis are not the force pushing this project, as I originally thought. Roy Lee of Vertigo Entertainment came to them with the idea. This makes me feel a lot better; the Kuzuis are not going to be creatively involved. They just want their cut in a movie franchise they screwed up the first time.

That's not to say I'm suddenly looking forward to it, though. Vertigo has been responsible for some recent mediocre-to-bad horror films like The Grudge, The Eye, and the American version of The Ring. Now, Buffy's a high profile property, so maybe Vertigo could hire some better talent in the writer's and director's roles for this movie, but I don't know.

You're wrong about unanimity, though, Nikki. There are some people, like Graeme MacMillan on io9, who say it would be good for the franchise to disentangle it from one man's vision and let someone else have a go at it.

As for myself, between rabid Whedonites certain of a disaster on one hand and those eager for a new take on the other, I remain firmly neutral.

Nikki Stafford said...

JJ: You're wrong about unanimity, though, Nikki.

Just to be clear, I never actually stated that the world was unanimously opposed to the idea, I said I have yet to see someone who wasn't. Those are the words I used, which were not wrong; I really hadn't. Thanks for bringing the io9 article to my attention. I still disagree, but it's great to see another take on it.

humanebean said...

Might I add to this list of devastating oxymorons?

the 'internets' without Nik at Nite*shudder*

poppedculture said...

Alice in Wonderland written by Bobcat Goldthwait? I'd totally go and see that! Shakes the Clown Goes Down the Rabbit Hole.

Nikki Stafford said...

Jeremy: Why does that not surprise me in the least? ;)

Loretta said...

Just because I had to add to the list:
The Wire without David Simon.

Yeah, I have to mention The Wire in every even remotely relevant situation. It's a thing.

I can't imagine how insulted Whedon must feel about this. This isn't like the recent reimagining of Star Trek over 40 years after original inception. In this case, Buffy's first episodes aired only 12 years ago. Moreover, Whedon is still in fact actively adding to the subject through the comics. That would be like remaking the first season of Lost right now, or coming out with a new version of the first Harry Potter movie before movie 7 has aired. It just doesn't make sense.

Nikki Stafford said...

Oh Loretta, how could I have forgotten a Wire reference?! Thank you SO MUCH for adding that one in!!

And I agree. Maybe that's why I'm so annoyed by it. It's too soon. I could see 30 years from now someone wanting to try their hand at it, but only 6 years after the end of Buffy?! When the comics are still going strong? UGH. It's an insult.

Nikki Stafford said...

humanebean: See, that's why I love you. :)

TV Writer said...

How about "'The Shield' produced by Jerry Bruckheimer?"

Nikki Stafford said...

TV Writer: LOL!! With Vic Mackey being played by Telly Savalas. NO, being played by Michael Chiklis, but in the style of The Commish.

TV Writer said...

Shane Vendrell played by David Caruso.

Nikki Stafford said...

TV Writer: Shane Vendrell played by David Caruso.

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Blam said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Blam said...

BC: Stop raping my childhood/adolescence!!!!Wait... Buffy aired during your childhood/adolescence?!?!? I feel so old now. 8^)

Regarding Twilight, though, I hafta say that while it may not be great reading and the movie fanfare might be kinda ridiculous it has every right to exist. I don't think that the author was trying to do Buffy better or at all (granted, I haven't read the books or seen the movies, but goodness knows I've read enough about them). There have been vampires on television since Buffy, like Moonlight and True Blood (neither of which I've seen, but I look forward to checking out the latter via Netflix based on recommendations); honestly, I think that Reaper and even Supernatural remind me of Buffy in terms of tone and mythology as much as Twilight or True Blood or the novels on which they're based.

Batcabbage said...

@Blam: lol, maybe I over-stated there about Buffy occuring in my childhood/adolescence. Late, late, LATE adolescence. Late. :) It's more a comment on the whole remake/reimagining fad on at the moment. As much as I like Jackie Earl Haley, I just can't see the Nightmare remake being any good. When I heard that a Robocop remake was in the works, I almost cried. And now a Buffy "reimagining". Batkitty, my lovely girlfriend, is the biggest Buffy fan I know. When I told her of the remake idea, she swore, colourfully and with great clarity. Then I told her Joss wasn't involved. I involuntarily recoiled a little, kinda terrified by her response. And then she asked what I feel is the most important question: 'Why?' And that's the thing - there's not one good reason to do it, other than for money. So, so sad.

Oh, and regarding True Blood, you should definitely check it out. It's one of those rare occasions where the TV show turns out to be much better than the book on which it's based.

Blam said...

And now a Buffy "reimagining".

Now that has no right to exist.

Batcabbage said...

@Blam: Totally. Even the word, 'reimagining'. It hurts to read.

And how funny, they're now gonna do a remake of 'Total Recall', one of the last great Ah-nuld moofies, according to todays' Variety. I despair, I really do.

Nikki Stafford said...

Batty: You know, another answer there would be, "You're only as adolescent as you feel." In which case, I'm still in my adolescence! Hahaha!

Nah, I'm lying. I can't stay up until 3am and sleep until 2pm anymore. Sigh... where did those glorious days go? ;)

As for the term reimagining, I do have to stick up for it insofar as Battlestar Galactica. That was a reimagining of the same idea, where they took the kernel, the names, the ships, etc. but added an actual storyline, a deeper meaning, and a richer development to it.

And interestingly enough, as JJ says above, original BSG fans were LIVID that they were going to attempt something like that.

But the difference here is exactly what Loretta said above. They waited 30 years to redo BSG. They waited 20 to add a new installment to Star Trek. But in the case of this one, fans were still waiting for an announcement that maybe Joss would do a movie -- there's been talk that SMG might be on board, as well as Head and Marsters, and I know they'd all line up to do it. Alyson Hannigan and David Boreanaz might be the only two who might have really full schedules, but they could work around it by filming in the summer, and besides, you could get away with a Buffy film without Angel (not without Willow, however, in my books). So we were still waiting for that. Give it another 15 years and we'll be saying, OK, I guess it wouldn't work as well if Buffy and Willow were 40 and Spike is in his 50s and has, you know, AGED, and then we'd be willing to look at another take on it. But when the original cast is still workable on this? UGH. THAT is why the fans are upset.

Despite what some people might think, Whedon fans are not "rabid"; we're just intensely loyal. And on an objective angle here, I'd argue that we're stepping back from our own emotions and intense love of the show and saying, "You know what, even from a thinking point of view, not a feeling one, this STILL won't work."

I guess I just can't convince the unconverted how bloody important it is to have Joss Whedon at the wheel for anything Buffy.

The Buffy comics have been out for YEARS. No one cared until Joss started a new series of it.

Anonymous said...

The difference is, the original BSG was, um, I can't use that word here.

They made it into something beautiful.

In 99.99 % of reboots, that is not the case.

And I didn't like so-called Star Trek with Not Kirk either.

The Buffy thing just hurts my heart.