Lost, Ep 10: Tricia Tanaka Is Dead
Tonight’s ep of Lost felt more like a season 1 ep, with something being found in the jungle, great lines, Sawyer being laid-back and using nicknames on everyone around him, Hurley and Charlie goofing around.

Except there’s history now. Hurley has lost Libby, and is a broken man looking to reclaim a former happiness. Charlie believes he’s a man marked by fate, about to die at any instant. Sawyer’s slept with Kate and has been tortured by the Others.

In Hurley’s flashback this week, we finally see the father that I assumed was either dead or had left the family. Cheech Marin plays the deadbeat dad who walks out on his family, and 17 years later, when he hears his son has hit the jackpot, comes back. It’s not a big revelatory flashback, but it inspires Hurley to finally get out of that funk he’s been in the entire time, and begin to believe that he’s NOT cursed, which is a pretty big deal. In doing so, he helps convince Charlie that there is no such thing as fate (wonder what Locke would say to that?) We already knew a meteorite had hit Mr. Cluck’s, and now we see the circumstances surrounding it. We know that he goes to Australia, so there was no way his dad was going to keep him there, but it’s interesting to see what happened.

Highlights:
-How boring Hurley is on camera when Tricia Tanaka is interviewing him.
-Nikki and Paulo NOT going with Hurley. Thank the GODS. I was so worried for a second there…
-Jin inadvertently volunteering to help Hurley with the car, and Hurley’s amusement.
-Kate pulling the dart out of Sawyer’s foot and making fun of him saying “Little House.” It was like the old Kate and Sawyer again, however fleeting.
-“Dude… Roger was on a beer run.”
-Roger’s head popping off when Hurley and Jin try to pull him out.
-Hurley hugging Sawyer and being super-excited to see Sawyer
-Sawyer saying Jin’s hooked on phonics
-Mrs. Reyes covering her golden Personal Jesus’s ears to say she has needs (Locke would say that the Jesus was the thing that brought them the bad luck; it’s a false idol, after all)
-the butlers, Mr. Tran and Lady Tran, being from Bennigan’s
-Hurley referring to the dead guy as Roger Workman (and Sawyer calling him Skeletor)
-Hurley warning Sawyer the beer was there before Rocky III, maybe Rocky II
-the psychic admitting she lied after Hurley offers her $10,000
-Sawyer calling Hurley International House of Pancakes
-Sawyer teaching Jin the three things a woman needs to hear
-“What’s your problem, Jumbotron?” “Shut up, Red… Neck… Man.” “Touché.”
-the guys riding around in circles in the van
-Sayid mocking Locke by saying they know where to go by how the light hit Eko’s stick when they were burying him
-ROUSSEAU! When Kate first left the beach, I was SO hoping that’s who she was going to get. I cannot wait to see her reunited with Alex.

Oops: When Vincent’s first coming out of the jungle, the hand is in his mouth, but in the very next shot, the arm is turned and the hand is away from his mouth.
-Charlie shaved on the beach, and a couple of hours later riding shotgun with Hurley he’s got a full day’s stubble.
-the van looks like it’s going 100mph down the hill, but then Hurley just suddenly turns the wheel and it doesn’t flip over?

Questions:
-How did Randy end up at the box company in Tustin after this?
-what is up with Nikki and Paulo? Why did he grab her belt loop? Possessive much? Why do the writers insist that they're likable people, yet they keep making them so damn unlikable?
-how did Roger die?
-why was there a ton of recycling in the van?
-Did Hurley and Charlie break the curse?

Did You Notice?:
-near the end, when Sawyer sits outside his tent and drinks the beer, he looks like he’s returned home. The beach is home to them now.
-the song on the 8-track in the VW bus is the same song playing at the beginning of the episode in the early Hugo flashback. The song is Shambala by 3 Dog Night.

Shambala
Wash away my troubles, wash away my pain
With the rain in Shambala
Wash away my sorrows, wash away my shame
With the rain in Shambala

*Ooooh... yeahYeah yeah yeah yeah yeah*
*This part repeats twice after each verse

Everyone is helpful, everyone is kind
On the road to Shambala
Everyone is lucky, everyone is so kind
On the road to Shambala

How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala

I can tell my sister 'bout the flowers in her eyes
On the road to Shambala
I can tell my brother 'bout the flowers in his eyes
On the road to Shambala

How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
How does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
Tell me how, how does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala
Tell me how, how does your light shine
In the halls of Shambala

Next week: “Enter 77,” a Sayid ep (wow, they're going to give Naveen more than 2 lines??). And we finally meet Patchy.

Super Karate Monkey Death Car
In an age where we have such awesome sitcoms again, like The Office, 30 Rock, Everybody Hates Chris, and My Name Is Earl, and where the cancellation of Arrested Development is still a fresh wound, I wanted to look back at one of my all-time fave shows, and my favourite episode from that show: NewsRadio.

My pal K. reminded me of it today when she sent me a link to a site that features clothing for cats. The best part of the site is that the English has been translated word for word from Japanese, and it makes for some hilarious lines. And then I remembered "Super Karate Monkey Death Car," the ep of NewsRadio where I've possibly laughed harder than at any other moment in any other sitcom.

The head of the station, Jimmy James, writes a business book that tanks in the U.S., but his publisher sells it to Japan and it goes to #1. So he has the brilliant idea of translating their version back into English and republishing it in the U.S. This is the transcript of the reading he does at Barnes and Noble, and it's actually the first time he's seen the new book.

Mr. James: "The original title of this book was 'Jimmy James, Capitalist Lion Tamer' but I see now that it's... 'Jimmy James, Macho Business Donkey Wrestler'... it's got kind of a ring to it don't it? Anyway, I wanted to read from chapter three... which is the story of my first rise to financial prominence... 'I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street... many days no business come to my hut. But Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no. I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo... dung. [coughs nervously]...Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans... and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey'."

[scene cuts to the Q&A afterwards]

Question: "Mr. James, what did you mean when you wrote bad clown making like super American car racers, I would make them sweat, War War?"
Mr. James: "Well, you know... it's LIKE when a clown is making like a car... racer... it's sorta... like... the FCC. The CLOWN... the clown is like the FCC... and I was opposed to the FCC at the time, right? So it was like I was declaring War. WARRRR!"
Question: "So then did the American yum yum clown monkey also represent the FCC?"
Mr. James: "Yeah, it did. Thanks a LOT!" [tries to leave]
Question: "What did you mean when you said, "Feel my skills, donkey donkey donkey, donkey donkey?"
Mr. James: *Sigh*

Charla and Mirna: Lost in Translation

On this week's Astounding Race, one scene stood out as one of the funniest things I've ever seen on the show. Charla and Mirna, the warring cousins, paid a taxi driver so they could follow him to the pit stop. The Barbie dolls decide to follow, and Mirna has a small fit that she has given ALL OF HER MONEY to this guy and she will NOT let them follow her. Cab driver suddenly pulls over. Barbies get out, Mirna and Charla can't speak the language, Barbies say look, just give us a map, and Mirna freaks out that either they help pay the guy or they can go away. Barbies leave, complaining about the freakish cousins. And then follows absolute hilarity. See, as I've mentioned before, Charla and Mirna believe, if you can't speak the language, just speak English loudly with an Italian accent, and ANYONE will understand that. So here follows the conversation.

Charla: The other teams are all passing us now!

Mirna: Oh-a no! We-a don't have-a time, amigo!

Cab driver: ....

Teri and Ian drive by, hooting and hooraying.

Mirna: Oh my GOD, just give him whatever he wants!! [she runs back to the car and grabs her purse and then THROWS IT AT THE CAB DRIVER] Take-a all of our-a money! [big hand gestures, touching their chest and kissing their fingers and waving them in the air]

Charla: Yes-a, take-a alla our-a money!

Cab driver's thoughts: Do these stupid bitches think I'm robbing them? oh my god, I'm going to lose my job for this... [he thrusts it back at them, looking incredibly confused as they run back to the car]

Mirna, taking it back and beginning to cry: What do you want? What-a do you-a want from me?

Charla: What-a do you want??

Cab driver: Oh my god, they're seriously insane.

Mirna, taking some money out: Here! Here is-a money for-a food. I no eat tomorrow.

Cab driver: Wait... they want me to eat their money now? Get me out of here!!! [he nods, and gets back into his car]

Mirna, not remembering what country they're in anymore, crosses herself, puts her hands in a praying position and begins bowing deeply, then kisses her fingers again: Muchos gracias, grazie, oh merci, senor! Thank-a you, God-a bless-a you!

Charla: Thank-a you, thank-a you!

TELEVISION GOLD.

Heroes, Ep 17: Company Man
Wow. Best episode of Heroes we’ve seen this year. Was it because there was no Ando/Hiro action? No Niki? I think, quite simply, it was just great storytelling. And, like Lost, it revealed answers while creating new questions.

For anyone who said last week that it seemed out of character for Matt to be pointing a gun at Lyle, we see this week that it was a really difficult decision for him to be involved in putting the family in jeopardy at all. Bennet finally figures out that Claire has spoken to the Haitian and that he didn’t erase her memory, because Matt reads her mind and says it aloud. Claire opens up to Matt that her dad isn’t a paper salesman, committing the ultimate betrayal to her dad. Eventually Matt realizes Ted is far more dangerous than any of them, and he joins forces with Bennet and Claire to try to stop Ted. But when Ted catches on, and freaks out, they all risk dying. Claire, Matt, and Ted are all joined in that they are “different,” they seek answers, and they blame Bennet for who they’ve become. But Bennet won’t make it that easy for them – what he does at the end is an incredible sacrifice.

What was revealed: Bennet was hired as regional manager of Primatech Paper 15 years ago. But he was no Michael Scott – he knew from the beginning that Primatech was just a cover-up for an organization that looked into how the species was evolving, and why strange mutations were showing up in human DNA. Eric Roberts, looking a LOT older than his younger sister Julia, plays the head of Primatech. HRG clearly knows what’s up, agreeing that outside people cannot know what they’re doing, and that they cannot know what measures they’ll take to keep the world safe. Roberts tells him he’ll have to deal with things that are morally grey, and that he’ll have a partner who is “one of them.” HRG is all talk, and THINKS he knows what they really do, but when Claude Rains suddenly appears in the office, the way HRG jumps up from the desk and looks completely shocked makes me think he has no idea what he’s getting into. Bennet is given Claire to raise, with the suspicion that she might “manifest” one day, and if she does, he’s to immediately turn her over. Obviously, his fatherly love gets in the way of that. Claude, too, begins to question what they’re doing, and he hides one of “them,” and Bennet is asked to kill him, which he follows through on (or so he thinks).
-Mrs. Bennet’s memories have been erased for 14 years

Great moments: Ted picking up Mr. Muggles, Matt saying, “Don’t!” and Ted looking at him and saying, “I’m not going to NUKE THE DOG.”
-Matt shooting Claire. The scene is full of tension, and the effect on Mrs. Bennet is unimaginable. -Ted going completely radioactive in the house.
-Claire walking outside, half-immolated, and healing right in front of everyone
-Claire handing Bennet the horn-rimmed glasses, making him who he’s become today
-the Haitian erasing HRG’s memories, right after he says one last goodbye to his “Claire Bear.” How painful is that?! It’s like that episode of Angel, “I Will Remember You,” where Angel becomes human and Buffy and Angel have this amazing time together doing everything they couldn’t when he was a vamp, and then he has to erase her memory, while holding onto the memory himself. The next time HRG finds Claire, if he does, she’ll be just another mutant to him. I don’t think I can take it… this is Joss Whedon-type pain. SUCH a good ending!

Big questions: -What the heck was Hiro’s dad doing on the roof of Isaac’s building? What is his involvement with Primatech and what they do? Is Hiro really his son, or was he, too, asked to adopt a child and turn him over if he manifests? Why did he go so quietly back to Japan if he thought for an instant that his son – rattling on about his mission – might be one of “them”?
-How did Bennet first find out what Primatech did, and how did he become involved with them?
-Why does Primatech seek to destroy certain “mutants,” yet allows others (Claude, the Haitian, Eden, that woman in the lab at the end) to join forces with them? Do they choose the powers that could help rather than hurt?
-did HRG really bring Ted back his file, or was it fake? At the company he says he’s not going to give Ted the truth, he’s giving him a tranquilizer. Matt and the Haitian seem to argue that Ted really does need the truth, so does he give in?
-The Haitian says he spared Claire because he answers to someone who has more power than HRG, in Claire’s life. Who is it, Claude? Is he somehow still in contact with the Haitian?
-Who was Claude hiding? Was it Claire? How did he survive getting shot twice and falling that far off the bridge to solid ground? Did he actually fall, or because he went invisible did he actually grab the ledge and move to the side so HRG couldn’t shoot him again?
-did Lyle really call the police, or was the call immediately diverted to Roberts?
-why didn’t HRG and Matt have worse radiation burns?
-did Claire get the tranquilizer into Ted, or did he die? What if the reason everyone had to save the cheerleader to save the world is because she has some sort of healing property? Could she be the cure they’re all looking for? Is there something in her that might help heal the others?
-where was Hana in all of this? She sent Matt and Ted on this mission and then disappeared.
-what is the special power of the woman in the lab at the end?

2007 Oscars -- It Just Ain't Workin'

For years I used to host a huge Oscar party, complete with a red carpet, a golden Oscar on the TV, a tiara'd hostess standing at the door taking coats, an Oscar pool that some years became pretty lucrative when we packed the place, large menus of handmade food that were named after the nominees of the year (In the BedShrooms were probably the biggest hit). Then I had a daughter, and the Oscar party went away. This year we decided to try again, and while it involved some tag-teaming with my husband to get the girl to bed, and I didn't actually make any hot hors-d'oeuvres that would require me running around all night, and the attendance was limited to only a few people, it was great to have the fun of people cheering or booing when the person who won Best Sound Editing was called.

This year the Oscars instated a new policy about speeches -- if you show up on stage with a list of people, and you begin naming names, and you do nothing but thank people, they were going to play you off after 10 seconds. And if you mixed it up a little by saying something interesting in your speech, they would hold off on pulling out the cane and scooping your sorry ass off the stage. So here you had all these people who've devoted their ENTIRE LIVES to film, who have been nominated several times and have gone through the constant disappointment of hearing other names called, whose dreams have come true and finally -- FINALLY -- THEIR name is called, only to get up on the stage and be rudely played off after 10 seconds??? It's disgusting.


Ellen DeGeneres was great. Is there anyone in America who doesn't love her? She was herself completely, right from her opening comments about how it would be weird if everyone in the audience had dreamt of her being at the Oscars someday to going into the audience and directing Spielberg on how to take a pic of her and Eastwood to use on her myspace. I heart Ellen.

So here are some other suggestions about what to do with the Oscars:

GET RID of that Oscar.com guy who wanks off for 30 seconds before every commercial break. Ooh, they think they're going to send me a Web site AND let me see a glimpse into the backstage area, where it's just a bunch of gaffers and pages running around while this loser with the big hair tells me to go to a site that will have woefully old information at best? Um... I'd rather hear the Visual Effects guy thank his mother.

STOP with the damn montages. Some of them were pretty cool (I loved the best foreign film one, which made me go, "oh, I've seen that one, oooh, I HAVEN'T seen that one... oh, that one made me cry!") but they go on WAY too long.

Come up with more ideas like the interpretive dance people. When they first said interpretive dance, some people shouted, "ACK! Turn the channel!" but we let it go the first time, and were pleasantly surprised. They wowed us, and it only took about 10 seconds of our time.

Have the parties BEFORE the ceremony, so they can get really soused and make things interesting. Somehow, the Golden Globes have much better speeches, always come in under 3 hours, never waste our time, and are entertaining from beginning to end. That's because there are no montages, no songs, and lots of drunk people.

Speaking of drunk people, maybe some of them WERE, looking at the outfits.

Jennifer Hudson: Dress would have been great, if she hadn't stolen The Count's tiny special silver cape. He was saving that for the special Sesame Street Oscars, and now will have to go with his everyday black and purple number.

Anne Hathaway: "Oh my god, I had this awesome white dress picked out and then that giant black butterfly landed on my chest and my assistant went and smacked it with a huge flyswatter and it's stuck here. I hope no one notices..."

Nicole Kidman:

Colour = looks great on her

Fit = yes, yes she is, so the form-fitting is perfect

Giant frakkin' bow = ?????

Jodie Foster: Hair, perfect. Dress, perfect. Jodie, perfect. I love her.

Helen Mirren: How is it that a woman twice my age has me intensely jealous of her body? Sigh. She's gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous. I could have done without her Rule Brittania tribute to the bloody queen, but she was great nonetheless.

Kate Winslet: The girl is 31, has been nominated 5 times, and she's gorgeous and sophisticated and never makes a misstep. Love this dress.

Cate Blanchett: CLASSY; she is a screen goddess. You can always count on her to have an awesome dress. Why don't others pay attention to her??

Sherry Lansing: She won the humanitarian award for her contributions to cancer research, and her dress was jaw-dropping. My favourite one of the evening.

Best speech: Loved Forest Whitaker's: he managed to thank people, say something interesting, and didn't get played off. Brilliant.

Biggest upset: Alan Arkin over Eddie Murphy. I haven't seen Dreamgirls yet, and I plan to, but something tells me Mr. Murphy has pissed off one too many people in Hollywood and it's come back to bite him in the ass. The last good film I've seen that he was in was Bowfinger (1999), which was one of my all-time favourite films, but it ticks me off that he's smart enough to recognize how great that movie is, and then still insists on doing this Norbit shit. It's annoying.

Least surprising moment: When Martin Scorsese won. Uh, duh, when the three horsemen of 1970s cinema take the stage looking for the fourth, you know they're not going to give it to Paul Greengrass. And having Jack "Mt. Baldy" Nicholson presenting Best Picture just capped off that one.

Funniest comment from the party: When Ennio Morricone was accepting his award, my friend Jer said, "And then... ironically... they played him off using his own music."

NBC's Funny Night

Last night's episodes of The Office and 30 Rock did not disappoint. I'm not with my beloved PVR at the moment, so I can't do the exact quotes that I usually do, but I'll point out my fave highlights from the evening.

On The Office, the salespeople go to a special cocktail party put on by a company bigwig, while the rest of the Dundies go to Poor Richard's pub to hang out. Pam decides she's going to be more courageous and honest (after hearing Oscar say the week before that those two things were not her strong points) and she begins finding ways to stand up for herself. These are big moments for Pam, even if they seem mundane to us (like insisting that the regular beer the bartender just handed her should have been a light beer). At the cocktail party, Jan gives Michael a waiver to sign saying that he will not sue Dunder-Mifflin over their relationship. Michael sees this as written proof that they HAVE a relationship, and calls it their love contract, signing his name with a little heart above the "i". At the party, all he does is talk about Jan in a sexual way, but we suddenly see another side of Jan. She pulls him aside, annoyed, but then yanks him into the bathroom, wanting him to take her against the wall and shocking Michael's sensibilities. Which begs the question: What the frak does Jan see in Michael??? It was super-funny, nonetheless.

Meanwhile, Karen runs into an old flame, and convinces Jim that she's slept with pretty much every guy at Dunder-Mifflin, before laughing in his face and telling him he's way too gullible. I'm seriously starting to like Karen, which is wrong wrong wrong... but the writers are doing this to us so the eventual Jim/Pam thing is much more difficult and not so clear cut. A lesser program would be making Karen evil. Dwight wanders around the house giving it a home inspection, and has so much fun he declares it a good party.

Over at the pub, Pam points out a little yellow stuffed duck she likes inside one of those machines where you position the claw over it to grab it (I have no idea what they're called) and Toby spends most of the night trying to retrieve it for her. When he finally gets it Pam tells him she wondered where he'd been all night, and had been looking forward to "hanging out." Then she hands it back and tells him to give it to his daughter. Poor hangdog Toby.

But the most shocking moment of this episode happens when Pam thinks she should be completely honest with Roy about what happened at the casino night. She sits next to him at the bar, and comes clean that she and Jim had kissed, that there had been feelings, and... but she can't get anything else out. Roy picks up his beer, hurls it at the mirror ad behind the bar, and it shatters. As she quickly grabs her things (the acting in this scene was great, and made me forget we weren't watching a reality program) and rushes out, declaring, "It's over" Roy's brother joins in as they go completely apeshit on the place, throwing several bottles and glasses against the walls and other mirrors. It was seriously frightening... And then, in case you turned away and missed the last 2 minutes, Roy sat on the curb outside the pub and said -- sounding pretty serious -- "I'm gonna kill Jim Halpert." ACK.

The episode wasn't so much funny as it was dramatic, really moving the story ahead pretty quickly. Even Kevin blogged that the ending scared him more than the bat.

Best line: Jan, standing outside the party talking to the camera: "Why is this so hard? .... That's what she said. Oh my god, I can't believe I said that."

Over on 30 Rock, the week didn't have the best Jack lines that I'm always waiting for, but it was probably the best Tracy episode yet. Looking for a new member of his entourage, he tells Kenneth the page that what he really needs is someone to harmonize with. When they begin singing "The Sun'll Come Out Tomorrow" I could NOT stop laughing. It was topped only at the end by the sound of Tracy's voice singing, "I Will Always Love You" as the two guys from his posse swoop in a la Kevin Costner and save him from the angry mob. Hilarious!

Jack and Liz negotiate Josh's contract, and we see Jack's glee when he gets to haggle for things. He puts them in tiny little chairs and he and Liz sit in giant ones (his "negotiation set" as he calls it) and when it first opens, it's hilarious. Agent: We want a raise of 15%, and a guaranteed 2-picture deal with Universal.

Jack: My counter offer is one dollar.

Which he then drops to 75 cents. Hahahahahaha!

Meanwhile, Jenna has made a flub while posing for Maxim (the scene of her sliding all over the chair because her legs are covered in Italian dressing was awesome). She thought the interviewer was asking her about theatre troupes, but he was actually asking her about the U.S. troops in Iraq, and she said, "I hate theatre troupes," and was misquoted as saying she hated the troops. Liz tries to counter it by putting her on Hardball, but Jenna doesn't really know anything about politics, and declares, "I think George W. Bush needs to hunt down Barack Obama, and stop him. I'm putting all my support behind Osama in the next election." It was priceless. In a last-ditch effort, she sings a song supporting the troops live on the show, dressed in red, white, and blue, and the song is supposed to end with pinwheel sparklers... only the pinwheels don't spin, and instead come off as flaming swastikas. It was a GREAT episode.

Sorry I can't post quotes, but please leave your fave quotes in the comments! They're always the best parts of the shows. :)

Is Lost Losing it?
The comments I got last night from the most recent episode of Lost were a resounding, "Meh." Lost used to be a show where the writers gleefully boasted that they were about the questions, not the answers, but after the fan revolt earlier in the season, they're now promising tons of answers. And then not giving any. Maybe they all ended up on the cutting room floor (am I going to have to create answers in more fake deleted scenes?!) but last night's ep had only a couple of revelations, and the flashback just created MORE questions. From the comments:

Re: me not knowing what Bai Ling is saying in one scene.

Hey she say's frightened. I thought it was fertent too. I was like what the crap is that? Haha. I had to rewind it over and over and finally put subtitles on.

Thank you! God, I feel like a dweeb now. I backed it up seriously 8 times. ;)

You liked the music interlude at the end? I thought it was a little too Titanic for my tastes, with Jack "I'm the King of the World" Shephard looking wanly off into the distance. And Jack wouldn't have taken such a beating on the beach if he had pulled the stick out of ass and used it for defence.

It's funny you said that, because when I watched this the first time through and Jack joined Juliet at the helm, I said out loud, "I'm King of the World!" and thankfully he didn't say it. But I still loved the music. Season 1 had tons of beautiful big music with the montages at the end, and they haven't done that in ages. As for the stick... you said it. But I also thought it. ;)

Jacob stole his older brother's inheritance (birthright, includes blessing) and yet God favoured him above his more honest brother. Jacob's sons became the precursors of the twelve tribes of Israel. Is this a reference to the Losties usurping the Others' place on the Island? Or is this something The Others think about themselves, that they are favoured. Ben (Benjamin) was one of Jacob's sons.

When Danny first referred to Jacob's list, I ran a little thing on my blog back in November explaining who Jacob was, but thank you for posting it here again, because it's definitely apt! And maybe knowing more about Jacob from the Bible will lead to answers.

I didn't really like last night's episode. For all the hype that major answers will be given, they basically gave it away in the promos. I'm a big fan of Lost, but they made a mistake doing that promo, because it was anticlimactic. I did like the ending though. I can understand more and more why the revolt by fans. Promising answers and only getting hints here and there.

I'm a huge defender of Lost, but even my husband said at the end of the episode, "Weren't we supposed to get answers?! I don't know how much more of this I can take." I agree about giving away the Cindy thing; I assumed, okay, we know Cindy and the other tailies will make their return, so... we'll know more about them than we learned in the preview, right? RIGHT? Wrong.

Why isn't Sayid Jarrah back yet? He's one of the most interesting Lost characters. And I was so disappointed that Kate had pity sex with Sawyer, because really, how can having sex with Sawyer be a mission of mercy? Finally, did I hear wrong, or did Carl/Karl (Alex's bf) say that the Others live on THIS island? On the same island as our Losties?!

I agree about Sayid. The guy had a couple of lines in the Jin/Sun ep, then we saw him help Locke bury Eko, and finally he ran onto the beach when Claire was drowing. Ooh. Paulo and Nikki have had more lines, for god's sake. For the Kate/Sawyer fans, they can still dream that Sawyer had it wrong, but Kate's face was pretty clear. I worried at the time that that's what was going on (or that Ben somehow put her up to it). As for the island thing, I assumed Otherville was on the north end of the island, and that's why Eko's stick said, "Lift up your eyes and look to the north" so that Locke could begin heading in that direction. It makes sense that with the proximity to the lush, larger island, they'd only use the smaller one for experiments. It also explained why we always saw them on that island. But finally having it confirmed is one of the only answers we've gotten this season.

PLEASE, Damon and Carlton, PLEASE don't screw this up. I've made excuses all along and I still believe in this show completely. Next week's preview, shown on ABC only (CTV didn't air one) was bordering on Heroes-type ads.

Voiceover: Next Wednesday... if you miss this episode...
Hurley holding Charlie's face: "It's dangerous... and there's a chance that YOU WILL DIE." [anyone get the feeling he's doing his best impression of Jack and it's actually a jokey scene?]
Voiceover: ...you won't know what everyone is talking about in the morning.
Hurley: Are you sure you want to do this?
Charlie: Big tree or death (or something like that)
Voiceover: A mysterious cave... a rescue long overdue...
Kate: They've got him and we have to get him back, I owe him that. I'm going to get Jack.
Voiceover: And the reunion everyone has been waiting for!

And then the screen goes black and we hear Sawyer whisper, "Somebody flies... somebody dies..."

Whoa!! Let's hope it's not a big buildup for nothing. Next week's ep is a Hurley flashback, by the way.

Lost, Ep 9: Stranger in a Strange Land
This week’s Lost episode featured another Jack flashback, one that presumably happened after he went crazy with jealousy upon losing his wife. In the timeline of Jack’s background, it appears he had hit rock bottom, and escaped to Thailand to try to start fresh. But once he got there, he found Achara (played by Bai “Fugly” Ling), and began an affair with the mysterious woman. He saw her being handed large sums of money, and she explains to him that she has “a gift,” and both of those things, coupled with her skimpy wardrobe, leads him to assume she must be a prostitute. He follows her to what appears to be a red light district in Phuket, and discovers she’s a tattoo spiritualist of some kind: She can see into the heart of who people really are, and then she “marks” them. Thus… the tattoo on Jack’s left arm. Not the whole tattoo (apparently the fancy 5 part above got added later) but the line of Chinese characters written along the bottom. We discover the characters mean, “He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us” which pretty much nails Jack to a T.

Meanwhile, on the island, Juliet is on trial for killing Danny; Kate and Sawyer escape with Karl, who is pining after Alex; Ben’s stitches have become infected; and Jack is moved to the outdoor cage once occupied by Sawyer. There’s a new sheriff in town, and no, it ain’t Sawyer. Her name Isobel. (OK, I guess the Björk lyric doesn’t work there, because it’s probably spelled Isabelle.) Jack is called in and asked point blank if Juliet asked him to kill Ben, and he says no. They know he’s lying, and he goes back to his cage. When he wakes up, Cindy and the other Tailies who were taken are all standing there (!!!) and they all look completely normal, untraumatized, and they say they’re “here to watch.” Cindy looks at him like he’s crazy when he acts angry and confused. Alex confronts Jack and wonders why he saved Ben, and Alex says Juliet is going to be executed. As soon as Jack realizes she’s on Otherville death row because she saved Sawyer and Kate, he changes his mind about Juliet. He strikes a deal with Ben to take care of him as long as Ben commutes Juliet’s sentence. Juliet is marked by them, and when she comes out to talk to Jack in his cage, he says they’ll work together to ensure both of them get off the island. Meanwhile, Kate and Sawyer have an argument where Sawyer tells Kate she only slept with him because he was a dead man, and that she still loves Jack. They let Karl go because he’s in love with Alex and wants to go back to get her. Jack accompanies Juliet and Ben back to the main island and Kate and Sawyer make their way back to the beach.

Revelations:
-The Others don’t live on the small island, they only go there to work on “projects.”
-the kids and other people they kidnapped are alive and well. And “watching.” But what that means, exactly? Still a mystery.
-Ethan was the Others’ surgeon

Highlights:
-Tom folding the paper plate in half to hand Jack his sandwich
-Sawyer calling Kate “Magellan”
-Karl not knowing what the Brady Bunch is
-Sawyer referring to Alex as Sally Slingshot

-Kate asking Sawyer if she should walk beside him or 10 paces behind. Ooh, SNAP!

-the musical score at the end; it was beautiful, and it was new

Did You Notice?:
-Karl says “God loves you as he loved Jacob,” which is one of the things that flashed on the screen at him
-Tom uses the cliché on Jack of “people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” insinuating that the Losties have done things that were as bad as the Others
-the Thai boy who talks to Jack on the beach has various Hindu symbols on his shirt, and one of them looks like the Dharma symbol
-Sawyer bosses Kate around, refusing to let her have a say, which is remarkably similar to the way Jack has always treated her.
-Isabelle looks a lot like Kate’s mom, and has the same smoky voice (it’s not her)
-the two kids with the Tailies are only supposed to be a month older than when we last saw them, but they’ve clearly aged
-Ben tells Jack he has a horrible bedside manner, which is what both Sarah and his father told him
-Jack began stalking Achara in the same way he was following Sarah, being all sneaky and angry. He’s got this menacing glower that comes over him when he’s pissy, and he has it whenever he sees Kate and Sawyer together.
-the mark on Juliet’s back kind of looks like an upside-down Star of Bethlehem

Any Questions?:
-the flashback connected us to the fact Isabel was asking about Jack’s tattoos; that Jack doesn’t appear to fit with anyone – he never fit in with the Losties and now he doesn’t really fit in with the Others – but also because he fell for Achara the same way he fell for Sarah, and then both of them let him down. Now he’s starting to fall for Juliet; will she let him down, too?
-Jack only hits the button twice, whereas Sawyer hit it until he was zapped. What is that indicative of? That he lacks the faith to think if he hits it enough times something will happen? That he gives up too easily? (We know that’s not the case.) That he’s anticipating something bad will happen on a third try?
-Isabelle says that Jack’s tattoo is ironic. Which means that the meaning of the tattoo is the opposite of the wearer, yet the tattoo is fitting, so is she using the word incorrectly, in a “it’s like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife” kind of way? Or does she know something we don’t?

-why does Cindy constantly look over her shoulder while talking to Jack? Is she looking in the direction of the camera?
-so did Kate sleep with Sawyer out of sympathy? Does her heart lie with Jack?
-if Ethan was the Otherville surgeon, why the hell did they send him out into the field, rather than sending one of the other few dozen Others who lived there? That was a huge risk, and one that didn’t pay off.
-someone with closed-captioning help me here: Bai Ling doesn’t really know how to act, so I can’t understand what she says here: “You are a leader, a great man, but this, this makes you lonely, and __________??? And angry.” Fertent? Verdant? Inadvertent? WHAT?
-why is marking Jack “against her people”? How does the Thai boy see the marks through Jack’s shirt? Why do the other guys beat him up? Did Achara tell them to?
-Tom has always been my favourite Other. Why does he look disappointed when he heard Juliet’s sentence has been commuted?
-what does Juliet’s “mark” represent? Is it like the scarlet A in Hawthorne’s novel?
-when Jack tells Juliet they’re going to work together to make sure they both go home, she looks suddenly shaken and upset, and looks up. Is she putting him on, and she realized she just won, and doesn’t like herself for doing this? Or was it relief?

Nitpicks: Juliet is leaning back against the boat on the way over to the other island. Wouldn’t she be trying to keep OFF the place that just got marked?

Music: Sawyer sings “Show Me the Way to Go Home,” a traditional American folk song:
Show me the way to go home,
I'm tired and I want to go to bed.
I had a little drink about an hour ago,
And it's gone right to my head.
Wherever I may roam,
On land or sea or foam.
You will always hear me singing this song:
Show me the way to go home.

Random Stuff

Just a bunch of stuff I keep meaning to mention, but don't.

McSweeneys always has something awesome, and since I haven't been to the site in ages, I found a ton of stuff there that made me laugh. In "Romeo and Juliet Flynn, The Sophomore Squad's Head Cheerleader," Shakespeare's Romeo attempts to woo an obnoxious modern-day Juliet, and the result is hilarious. For fans of The Office (and if you're not a fan of The Office, what is wrong with you?) here is a spec script for the show as written by David Mamet. My husband and I are fans of Mamet's work, but we can't help but make fun of him all the time.

Rob: Would you pass the...

Me: ...ketchup? But I...

Rob: ...I just...

Me: ...you just?

Rob: ...I just... wanted the--

Me: ketchup? Yes. Yes. That is clear.

(OK, we are WEIRD, and the first to admit it.) Anyway, if you like to make fun of Mamet in your everyday speech, and think The Office is brilliant, then check it out. But I think my favourite one was Jean-Paul Sartre as a 911 operator. You can absolutely picture him smoking disdainfully and rolling his eyes at these pathetic people looking for outside help in their lives.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars edition started up again on Sunday (and I completely forgot about it, but luckily caught the OLN repeat on Monday, whew!) and I think having The Divas back (a.k.a. Oswald and Danny) has made me happier than any new season of AR has ever made me. I almost cried when these two were eliminated in the second season, and having them back is GREAT. Mirna and Charla are back as well. You'd think after North America watched them the first time and said, "Wow, Charla is carrying that dead weight cousin, despite the fact she's three feet tall" that Mirna would never want to show her face in public again. But... there they are. And as usual, Mirna's all whiny, "Oh my GOD it says we have to wrangle a hoooorse! Wah. [foot stomp] I don't WANT to." Charla: I'll hold the horse down myself if I have to, Mirna, for god's sakes, just stop whining." One thing that did make me laugh about them, though, is they still tend to think they can talk to the locals in foreign countries by speaking English in Italian accents to them. Doesn't matter where they are -- Ecuador, Germany, Poland -- they will say, "How-a fast ees dees car? Rapido, rapido!" Occasionally with a little Speedy Gonzalez thrown in, "Andele, andele, epa epa!" And whenever the cab driver gets them there they kiss their fingers and say, "Bellissima." I cannot wait until they get to France. "Je suis un salle de bain? Vous etes un taxi?" When that doesn't work, they will say loudly, "I-ah haf to go-a dees way!" Gotta love 'em.

I'll admit, I couldn't for the life of me remember who John Vito and Jill were. The names sounded familiar, but they didn't really ring a bell with me. Until, in the opener, Jill said in her New York accent, "My bruthuh doid in noin-eelevun. John Vito was a fiya-fightah and was at the Trade Centah." And then I thought ah. Right. Now I remember her. Every chance she got she talked about her brother and John Vito. Well, it hasn't worked out for them, and sadly, they were eliminated (it's bad to be the first one eliminated, but especially bad when this is your second crack at it). Oh well... GO TEAM DIVA!!!

In other awesome TV news, this Saturday, SNL will be starring Rainn Wilson (a.k.a. Dwight Schrute) so yeah, I'm in heaven here. But not only will the main guest be brilliant, but the musical act will be Arcade Fire. Wow... does this pairing GET any better?? I can't wait to see them try to fit all 10 of them onto the SNL stage.

In Lost news, the Series 2 action figures have finally been unveiled, and boy are they... awful. They don't look like the characters. Sawyer comes off as scuzzy, Jin is bent in half, Eko does NOT look like Eko, and they've immortalized the scene of Sun standing on the beach in a bikini. Because, as we all do, when I think of Sun, I think of her in a skimpy bikini. Ugh. I have the Locke action figure, when my gal K. got it for me for Christmas, and he is awesome. Why was the first series so good, and the second so... sucky?

Michelle Rodriguez has posted on her official Web site the real details of what happened the night of her DUI. It's sad, actually, and you can tell the anger is still there. What I thought was most interesting was the vulnerability evident in her post: she talks about how everyone was getting together to see Evangeline Lilly's episode at Evangeline's house, and while she wasn't feeling well, she wanted to fit in, so she went over to her house, but then was too shy to stay there, worried she'd be intruding. (Ok, the girl can't spell, but give her a break; it's not her job to.) It's a pretty interesting post.

Lost appears to be turning into Macbeth. Josh Holloway's house was broken into; Evangeline's burned to the ground just after Christmas. Rodriguez was busted for a DUI, Watros was also pulled over for a traffic violation, and Adewale was also called in by the cops for driving without a license. But now, in the worst twist of all, two crew members have died mysteriously, of apparent heart attacks. Not a lot of details are available, but the Honolulu Advertiser has the story.

I posted another question over at Yahoo Answers that wrapped up this week, asking people what mystery they would like to see solved by the end of season 3. I got lots of interesting ones, and many people said, what's up with the polar bears? One guy said we saw them once and then never another mention. I think he's watching a different show... but anyway, personally I thought it was pretty evident by this point that Dharma was conducting zoological experiments on the island, and the polar bears were brought in to see what would happen to polar bears in tropical conditions. We've seen at least two bears, maybe three (Sawyer killed one; it's not clear if the one who attacked Walt was also the one who had Eko in the cave) and when we saw the blast-door map on the Hatch you could see clearly that one section of the island had been cordoned off for the "polar bear experiments." One thing I wonder is, are the writers answering more questions than we think they are, but they're doing it so subtly people are missing it? I'm not saying the polar bears have been completely explained, but we can piece together a lot of clues to come up with some kind of genetic experiment. The "why" isn't clear, but the "what" is.

Other people who answered my question didn't exactly answer it, and instead used it as a forum to say stuff like, "Uh... I think the biggest mystery is why people are still watching this lame-ass show." I would say at least 30% of the answers were of that nature. But still, most asked good questions -- will we ever find out who the Adam and Eve skeletons are in the cave; where did Michael and Walt go; what exactly is the Dharma Initiative; what do Hurley's numbers represent, etc. The answer that I chose was a guy who talked about why it is we ask so many questions, and what keeps us coming back, and while he didn't exactly answer my question, I thought his question to answer the question was not only thoughtful, but TOTALLY in keeping with the way Lost avoids answering most things. :)

Over in Heroes land, I often write up my posts in Word and then cut and paste them into Blogger, and for some reason part of my post didn't make it over. (At least, I didn't see it there.) So I wanted to add that I had suggested last week Peter might develop the classic dark side that all the best superheroes have and must constantly battle within themselves. But this week I'm wondering if he's actually going to allow that dark side to take over? He certainly looked pretty evil when he was fighting Mystery Sock. I also had asked if maybe I liked this episode so much because Niki wasn't on it? I do find I like the non-Niki eps better. Hmm...

And then there's 30 Rock. I didn't get a chance to post on it last week, but it had some more classic moments, as the show always does.

Tina: What was that about? [after Tracy leaves Jack's office]

Jack: I've invited him to join me in a GE Charity Golf Tournament in Connecticut.

Tina: What, was Courtney Love not available?

Jack, on why he wants to golf with Don Geist: Being in a foursome with this man can change your life.

Jack singing, "simply the best" while looking at a painting of Don Geist. That he painted.

Lutz: Hey, what about my Dancing with the Hobos sketch?

Tina: I didn't like it two weeks ago when it was America's Next Top Hobo, and I didn't like it a month ago when it was Hobo Eye for the Straight Guy.

Lutz: Deal or No Hobo?

[side note: why is the word hobo so damn funny? Hm... just ask John Hodgman, I suppose]

Jack introducing Tracy around at the club.

Jack: Ted here is the head of our commercial aviation division.

Tracy: You need to hook me up with one of them helicopters.

Ted: Absolutely, I'd be happy to arrange for you to take a ride.

Tracy: Nah, I don't want to get in it. I want to blow it up and run away from it in slow motion.

Ted: hahaha! Pleasure to have met you.

Tracy: Damn straight! I'm delightful.

Liz hears Lutz calling her the c-word, and she tells Frank and Pete they have to fire Lutz for calling her the word, but she refuses to say it.

Liz: The one that rhymes with the name of your favourite Todd Rundgren album.

Frank: It rhymes with Hermit of Mink Hollow?

Liz says the reason the word is so bad is because there's no equivalent for a man, and the guys try to come up with one: "Munkus. Fungdark."

After Tracy asks Geist why there aren't any other black people at the club, they don't end up in Geist's foursome, and Tracy realizes he was just brought along to be the nice black man, so he plays it up on the golf course. Showing up in a loud plaid caddy's outfit, he is at his all-time best.

Tracy: I sho hope Mistah Jack plays his game good today, otherwise he whoops my ass right well when we get home, ain't dat right, Mistah Jack?...

After Kenneth said he studied TV Theory at Kentucky Mountain Bible College:

Tracy: I studied Fried Chicken at the School of Hard Knocks, ain't dat right, Mistah Jack?

Jack: You still here?
Tracy: I'm ridiculous. I'm BLACK. I may even be ugly. But DEAR GOD, I'm HE-AH, I'm HE-AH, [I wish I knew the rest of what he said, but I can't make it out]

Jack trying to tee off, and Tracy steps up and starts doing a jig: Would you like me to do a tap dance for you and your big-time friends Missah Jack? Or I could run around while y'all are throwin' rocks at me!

Jack pulls him aside: What are you doing?

Tracy: Payback, for the way you treated me. You used me!

Jack: God, it's like dating Katie Couric all over again.

Jack: We could be playing golf with Geist right now instead of Ted, who's best known for getting caught using a corporate credit card at a gay strip club! [Ted's wife is standing right behind him.] I'm sorry Mandy, you were bound to find out eventually.

OK, I'm tired now. Enough for tonight.

This is just too funny NOT to post:

In case you can't read the fine print:

You can download the poster here.

Heroes, Ep. 16: Unexpected
Whew! Well, one thing’s for sure: Heroes hasn’t lost its A-game yet. Just when I was worried the show was devolving into The Wacky Adventures of Hiro and Ando, the show served up one hell of an episode, with two new heroes, secondary heroes coming to the forefront, and Stan Lee as a bus driver!

The episode opened with Ted Sprague (radioactive man) sitting in his hovel in Nevada, when Hana Gitelman, a.k.a. Internet Chatroom Girl, appearing to him. Claire’s mom suddenly knows who she is again. Isaac meets up with Bennet and his trusty Haitian, and gets a giant gun for his troubles. Sylar and Mohinder meet Dale Smither, who boasts one of the coolest abilities we’ve seen yet. Bennet attacks Claude, and Peter throws Claude and himself off a building. And then… somebody flies. Matt’s wife found out he stole the diamonds. Claude freaks out and abandons Peter, because he says HRG and the Haitian were the very people he’s been trying to escape for so long. Simone meets Nathan and threatens to go public with Peter’s disappearance. Ando is shot. Hiro is told he should drop Ando as a partner and ride solo. Ted and Hana confront Matt and tell him about the marks on their necks. Bennet and Claire have a serious (and public) fight. Sylar kills Dale, and then can’t deal with the power he’s absorbed. Hiro dumps Ando. Matt and Ted show up at Bennet’s house with guns. Isaac paints an angry Peter, who is standing right behind him. He tries to shoot him, but Peter turns himself invisible… and Isaac shoots Simone instead. And then… somebody dies.

Fave moments:
-Ted’s online moniker is TeddyBear616. How weird is THAT?
-Sylar melting Dale’s wrench, and she looks on in awe: “Damn… that was my best wrench.”
-the cemetery ground around Ted dying as he vowed to get back at them for killing his wife
-Sylar unable to deal with his new powers – I loved the exaggerated sound effects that made everything sound so harsh and loud.
-Bennet calling Claire “Claire Bear”! Even in the heat of the moment, I laughed out loud at that one.

-Finally, somebody flew, somebody... no wait, it doesn't work in the past tense. "Somebody flied, somebody died." Grammar be damned. Anyway, at least we don't have to listen to this mantra anymore.

Worst moments:
-When Bennet hands Isaac the gun, Isaac asks, “What do you expect me to do with this?” Bennet’s response: “Save the world.” CHEEEEEESE.

-When Sylar is moving in on Dale, she looks up at him and says, "What's that sound in your heart," and he says in a sinister tone, "Murder..." Oh come ON! Next thing the writers will be giving him a handlebar mustache that he can fondle while talking, just to make his evilness that much more obvious. Who writes stuff like that?!

Did You Notice?:
-we finally see the impact of the Suresh phone call from the point of the view of the callee, and we see why Matt (and all of the others Suresh has called) have avoided calling him back.
-Simone tried to give Isaac back his key; if he had taken it back, she wouldn’t be dead now.
-there was definitely a perverse connection drawn between Hiro/Ando and Mohinder/Sylar. Just like Ando and Hiro always talk about their destinies, now Sylar is telling Mohinder that it’s their destiny to be together, as if parodying them. The gaming commission guy tells Hiro he should just work alone, because working with a partner could be hazardous. Sylar is the perfect example of that.

-during the scene in the garage, half of the screen was out of focus, like the director was trying to convey the confused emotions going on in that scene. Dale was uncomfortable, Sylar was excited, Mohinder was confused, and suddenly half the screen went soft-focus on us
-Claude talks about their abilities like they evolve, or as if the heroes are part of the evolutionary process, the same way the Sureshes have referred to it
-Bennet shot Claude with the same zapper that the Initiative used to zap Spike before capturing him and calling him Hostile 17
-people who showed the marks on their necks this week: Claude, Ted, Matt, Hana, Isaac,
-those who don’t have the marks: Niki, Peter, Sylar
-not sure if they have the marks: Claire (doubt it, since her dad wouldn’t need to track her…yet), Nathan (doubt it again)
-Hiro seemed to stop the bullet because he truly cared about the outcome. Losing Ando means he loses part of his emotional connection to his “mee-shon.” Only because of his desperate need for them NOT to be shot was he able to stop the bullet. Hiro’s power is rooted in his caring. Maybe after Charlie died, he lost part of his caring, and therefore couldn’t access his powers.
-apparently doctor/patient confidentiality at the hospital where Claire’s mom is only applies to if you DON’T say something deemed clinically insane
-when Sylar and Mohinder pull up to the garage after Sylar's de-skulled Dale, there is rap music playing in the car, as if Sylar took Dale’s advice
-Sylar is a REALLY good actor. Notice how shocked he acts at the motel when Mohinder tells him about his father, and then again at the garage when Mohinder mentions Sylar did this, and Sylar looks around like he’s genuinely afraid. Is he really a great actor (i.e. did he suck the abilities out of Judi Dench when we weren’t looking) or is he going bananas?
Questions:
-who is tracking everyone? Is Bennet tracking the whereabouts of the people with the marks on their necks? If so, why didn’t he know they were on their way to his house?

-maybe my suggestion that Peter will develop a dark side wasn't wrong. I was simply suggesting he'd have something dark within himself to fight against, but now I'm thinking it's starting to take over. He looked seriously evil when he was in Isaac's place.

Lost connections:

As a couple of people mentioned in my blog last night, there was a great line that was definitely put in there for Lost fans (and yes, I did catch it and it made me laugh out loud). When Simone is threatening to take all of this public, and tell the world about their powers, Nathan says, “If people knew what we were capable of … they’d round us all up and stick us in a lab on an island in the middle of the ocean.” Hmm… so does that mean Kate used to be Claire Bennet? Desmond was Isaac, minus the heroin and paints? Charlie was the heroin side of Isaac, without the precognitive and painting abilities?

Also mentioned was the Gannon car rental. I forgot to mention this one last week. When Claire is ditching school to go see her mom, she has a flyer for the Gannon car rental company. This is a fictional company used on Lost, and Hurley held the same flyer in the airport (Claire first, Hurley second):

And don’t forget: every person on the island, it seems, has daddy issues (Jack, Kate, Sawyer, Claire, Walt, Sayid, Charlie, etc.) and Claire’s got some serious ones right now.

So what did you think of the ep?

Next week: Company Man. By the photos, Claire looks a lot younger and has her arms around her Daddy Bear. Does this mean, like another TV show, that Heroes will be using flashbacks??

Flashes Before Your Eyes:
Deleted Scene 2

INT. SAWYER’S TENT

CHARLIE and HURLEY are going through Sawyer’s things.

CHARLIE: He would want us to do this.

HURLEY: He would want us to ransack his tent and take his stash? Yeah, that sounds exactly like Sawyer.

CHARLIE: Well, he stole all this in the first place. I mean, people need food, they need medical supplies, they need [picks up a stack of Playpen magazine]… shocking amounts of pornography.

HURLEY: Dude. No wonder Sawyer was spending so many long periods of time in the tent with the flaps closed.

CHARLIE: Wow. I thought I’d seen it all, but… whoa, I didn’t even know that position was humanly possible.

HURLEY: Give me one of those, Dude. Wait… I don’t think these are Sawyer’s.

CHARLIE: What do you mean they’re not Sawyer’s? They’re in his tent.

HURLEY: Yeah, but check out the address stamp.

CAMERA zooms in on the label on the magazine:

Paulo
c/o Beach
Mysterious Island
South Pacific

CHARLIE: Who the hell’s Paulo?

ENTER PAULO

PAULO: Oh… uh… what are you guys doing here?

CHARLIE: And you are…?

HURLEY: Dude, we were, um, just reading some… books.

PAULO: I was, um…. I was just out hitting some rocks with golf balls, like I do every day, and… uh… I thought I… hit one in here?

CHARLIE: No golf rocks in here, brother.

HURLEY: No, but we, um, found your subscription.

PAULO [face goes white]: My….? Oh. You haven’t let Nikki see those, have you?

CHARLIE: Who the hell’s Nikki?

ENTER NIKKI

NIKKI: Who just said my name? What are you guys all doing here? Why are you all sitting around when there is work to be done???

CHARLIE: And you are…?

HURLEY: Oh [trying to hide the magazines behind himself]… we were just, um… trying to find some shade?

NIKKI: Oh my GOD! [reaches forward and snatches the book out of Hurley’s hand] NABOKOV?! You were in here reading Nabokov?! WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS, HURLEY?

HURLEY: Dude, why are you always saying that to…

NIKKI: This is smut. SMUT. I can’t believe you’re trying to infect my Paulo with this stuff. WHY are you hanging around these two lug-heads, Paulo?

PAULO: Nikki. I am going to need to have to ask you to get off my case right now.

CHARLIE [to Hurley]: Does he speak English?

NIKKI: And where is Jack? I know he would be putting a stop to this.

CHARLIE: …

HURLEY: I already… told you. The Others kidnapped him. He’s on the other side of the island.

NIKKI: AND WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THIS, HURLEY???

HURLEY: I… never mind.

PAULO: I want to sit here and be with one of the boys… wait. Be one of the boys.

NIKKI: Oh, get out of that tent, Paulo. I don’t know why you bother with these two.

EXIT NIKKI AND PAULO

CHARLIE: Who the hell were those two? [gasps] Do you think they were Others?

HURLEY: Dude, the Others are civilized human beings compared to those two. You know, since coming to the island, I’ve often wondered what’s more confusing: the fact that my numbers keep recurring, or the lyrics to your hit single.

CHARLIE: What do you mean? My lyrics are…

HURLEY: But those are old now. The new biggest mystery on this island? Why those two are suddenly talking to people.

CHARLIE: Wow… this position is with two men, five women, and a chair. I can’t believe they got them all into the same shot. “They all everybody…”

HURLEY: Dude. Don’t sing the song.

Flashes Before Your Eyes:
Deleted Scenes

EXT. BEACH

DESMOND has just saved CLAIRE from drowning. Now he sits alone on the beach, staring at a photo of Penelope, when Claire walks over to him and begins making small talk.

DESMOND: How you feeling?

CLAIRE: Still a little shaken up. I go swimming almost every day. The undertow just grabbed me… if you hadn’t…

DESMOND: Your hair.

CLAIRE: …I would… my what? Hair?

DESMOND: Your hair looks different.

CLAIRE: Oh… yeah, I had it done by Paulo. He was a hairdresser before he came to the island, so he’s been keeping everyone’s hair looking nice. He does makeup too. And esthetics. I mean, how else do you think Sun has such a perfect manicure, and my makeup is always flawless despite sleeping no more than 3 hours at a time and living on a deserted island?

DESMOND: …

CLAIRE: Yeah, Kate was cutting Sawyer’s hair for a while, and I cut Charlie’s, and then Paulo stepped up and said he really wished we would stop doing that, because women don’t make very good hairdressers anyway, so he’s been doing everyone’s hair lately. Maybe you should have yours done? He said I could use a change, so I got bangs. Do you like them?

DESMOND: Uh… sure, it looks fine… um… who’s Paulo?

CLAIRE: You haven’t seen Paulo? He’s only been here since the beginning. This is so weird…

DESMOND: What’s so weird?

CLAIRE: Everyone’s acting like they’ve never seen Paulo before, yet he’s been here the whole time. And Nikki… a lot of people are looking at her like she just dropped from the sky or something. But she was there with me when the food dropped.

DESMOND: The food dropped?

CLAIRE: Oh… yeah… you were out on your boat, sailing away from… or around the… anyway, there was a giant parachute containing crates of food that feel from the sky, and all of these people swooped in and began grabbing stuff like vultures… anyway, there was this pair of brand new skinny pants that was in the crate – I mean, you’ve never seen me wearing them before on the island, and it’s not like we suddenly have new clothes we’ve been keeping hidden away – and Nikki and I fought over them, until she realized I was way smaller and they’d have never fit her.

DESMOND: …

CLAIRE: So… okay, what was I saying? Oh… so I just wanted to say, if you hadn’t…

CHARLIE: Claire? I thought you were only gonna be five minutes? Aaron’s starving; you fed him seven minutes ago and as I learned from when I was never a parent, new babies need to be nursed every five minutes.

CLAIRE: Oh… right… I was just…

CHARLIE: I don’t care what you were just… come and feed this kid. Jeez, just because you were going to give him up for adoption doesn’t mean you can drop the ball now. [looks at Desmond] She DID tell you she was going to give him up for adoption, didn’t she? Was totally going to give him up. I remind her of this every day so that she will feel guilty and be a better mother.

DESMOND: I made a mistake.

CHARLIE: What kind of mistake?

DESMOND: I never should have stopped… you know what? Forget it. I can make up for it tomorrow.

CLAIRE stands up and walks away with CHARLIE.

CHARLIE: I don’t like you hanging around that guy. He’s… strange. “He all everybody!”

CLAIRE: Oh god, please don’t sing the song.

The Big Question
OK, so in my extremely tired state last night where I blogged on The Office and why it was so funny and so sweet and so heartbreaking, I forgot to ask the one big question that the episode left me with: Why didn't Jim come to Pam's art show? Was anyone else stunned that he didn't make an appearance? Is this some sort of revenge for Pam getting back together with Roy? He certainly avoided Pam in the office after Roy had stood at her desk telling her he wouldn't miss it for the world. (But sadly missed Roy rubbing her nose in it later that no one else from her office had come.) Or did he not want to run into Roy? I thought it was very surprising, and expected him to be the one tiptoeing around the corner as Pam sadly took down her paintings, not Michael.

Sigh. Will this love ever be requited?? Has it moved into the emotional punishment and jealousy stage already?

The Office: Business School
OK, it's official:
Joss Whedon + Vampire References = Television GOLD

But we Buffy fans knew that already.

This week's Office was so full of zingers we had to keep backing up the PVR to catch the lines we were missing from laughing so hard. In the main Michael plot, Ryan asks Michael to come speak at his business school because it'll bump his grade up by a full letter. What Michael doesn't know is he's been called in to be grilled by a bunch of business majors who think they know better than the small business owner standing before them. In the office plot, a bat gets loose in the office, and Jim convinces Dwight he was bitten by it and is feeling like he's turning into a vampire. And in the personal plot, Pam has her first art show. ALL plots were awesome, and managed to come together well. The end where Michael comes in to Pam's art show and tells her how proud he is of her was sweet and wonderful. I love when we see Michael as something other than the cringeworthy boob he usually is. Roy was his usual season 1 & 2 self, and here's hoping Pam gets out quick before she's stuck in this one too long. (It must have been interesting for Joss to direct those scenes, as David Denman, who plays Roy, was Skip on Angel, and I believe Joss directed an episode he was in.) Jim was HILARIOUS, but watch how he let Karen in on his ruse and didn't involve Pam at all. And while Ryan usually has some of the best lines on the show, they're always "I'm so much better than this and these stupid little people" lines, and it's nice to see him being taken down a peg or two. His fate in the fifth circle of Hell (a.k.a. the same cubicle as Kelly) was perfect.

Fave moments:
Michael interrupting the frisbee game and flinging it far away.

The bat getting free and everyone hitting the floor.

Michael playing entrance music when he walks into the business class; then ripping the pages out of the textbook.

Jim being burned by the garlic bread.

Dwight approaching Creed and Creed being completely compliant.

Michael taking Ryan down a peg by pointing out to his entire class that he's never made a sale.

Jim standing really close to Dwight near the water cooler, eyeing his neck; pulling the collar of his trenchcoat up and glaring over the edge of it.

Dwight trapping the bat in a bag with Meredith's head.

Least fave moment:
Oscar and Gil talking about Pam's paintings in such an awful way, and Oscar saying courage and honesty aren't Pam's strong points. :( I suddenly don't like Oscar as much.

Fave lines:
Michael Scott: "A boss is like a teacher, and I'm like the cool teacher, like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us and he would tell awesome jokes, and he actually hooked up with one of the students, and then like twelve other kids came forward, it was in all the papers. It really ruined eighth grade for us."

Dwight: "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, then I do NOT do that thing."

Michael, with Ryan at the college: "Campus. Brings back so many memories, that I... would have made."

Toby, re: the bat in the office: "The simple solution would be to open a window... if we had... windows that could open."

Angela: "Poop is raining from the ceilings. Poop."

Jim: "This is so weird... The bat, I mean, I know I felt it bite me, but look, there's no mark. I feel so... tingly. So... strangely powerful. Oh well!"

Michael: "There are four kinds of business: tourism, food service, railroads, and sales. And hospitals, slash manufacturing. And air travel."

Dwight: "If a vampire bat WAS in the U.S., it would make sense for it to come to a 'sylvania.' Pennsylvania. Now that doesn't mean that Jim is going to become a vampire, only that he carries the vampiric germ."

Dwight: "I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbour's dog."

Student: "How far has your Herfindahl index declined since the merger?"
Michael: "Nice try, how's your pollocks's wonnundex?"
Student: "What?"
Michael: "Thanks, Kowalski."

Michael: "Yeah, sure, you know business, sitting up here in your ivory tower [sees African-American professor]... and your ebony tower...."

Michael, after students tell him Dunder-Mifflin is facing five Goliaths: "Yeah, you know what else is facing five Goliaths? AMERICA! Al Qaeda, global warming, sex predators...mercury poisoning...."

Dwight, looking at Jim walking across the parking lot with his coat up over his head: "Jim is on a path now, an eternal journey. And I wish him well, but I have a destiny in this realm. Specifically: in the kitchen." [puts on a mask and holds up a bat]

Michael, looking at Pam's painting: "That is our building. And we sell paper. I'm really proud of you." [Pam hugs him]
Pam: "Thank you."
Michael: "What?"
Pam: "Do you have something in your pocket?"
Michael: "Twinkie. [Pam breaks the embrace] Do you want half?"

Michael, hanging the painting: "Without paper, it could not have happened. Unless... you had a camera."

"Flashes Before Your Eyes" Mailbag

I got quite a few comments about last night's episode (whether or not you liked the episode, it was definitely a conversation starter!) so I thought I'd list some of the comments here in a post.

The one thing this episode did was leave it open for one of two interpretations: Either you believe Desmond's body really did leave the island and he time-travelled to the past, but once there realized he couldn't change the events. OR, you're looking at the episode from a more spiritual standpoint, and taking the title at face value, you see what happened as his life flashing before his eyes, but it allowed for him to participate in it. People who have had near-death experiences have talked about this phenomenon, and many of them not only saw the flashes of their life run by them like a movie strip, but they say they feel like they were re-enacting the scenes again, with the knowledge that they'd already happened. So either theory is a viable one at this point, or maybe it's a combination of the two. What's fun about it is trying to figure out the logic of either one of these being true.

I've read an interesting theory about physics recently about how the observing an experiment changes the outcome, which is what Desmond was doing. Seeing as he was aware of what was happening, it was changing the result. As for the ring, it will sit at the bottom of the river until some hobbit swims down and finds it. Paging Charlie...

LOL!! That's an interesting theory indeed, and it could bring the two elements together. He could be watching it from afar in flashes, but just in watching it, he changes it. Now, if he's really just experiencing all of this in his mind, which is the one theory, then the ring isn't really at the bottom of the Thames (which is why I asked that). The woman in the ring store said that when he originally came into the store, he walked out without buying it, which means the first time through, he didn't buy the ring, and therefore didn't throw it into the Thames. But if he really did time travel, then he did throw it in there, and now it's sitting there because he's changed history, despite thinking he didn't.

it makes sense to me (now!) that busking charlie was a pre-drive shaft charlie, but why didn't he recognise desmond on the island, then, as the same crazy man who accosted him on the street in london? and why didn't desmond recognise him on the island as the busker he went loony in front of in london? (or did he, and i missed it?)

Well, in either theory, he wouldn't remember it. (This takes some explanation, so bear with me.) The rant that Desmond has is relating to Charlie not remembering him, and that he remembered standing there, and that it began to rain, etc. BUT, the first time through, he probably just stood there, listened to the kid on the corner, and dropped his pound into the guitar case and went on his way. There was probably no discussion, no exchange, etc. So Charlie would have no memory of him in that case. But if he really did time travel and had that discussion, the real question becomes, does that change all of history that happened before?? Charlie wouldn't remember Desmond when he first sees him, because Des hadn't gone back to change time yet. But maybe now, both Charlie and Desmond have memories that when they first met, Charlie totally remembered him from that encounter. The thing is, the writers won't go back in time to recount absolutely everything with this new changed memory. (I hope.) So we'll never know if Charlie now remembers the encounter.

Or, the other explanation is, the drugs seriously fried Charlie's mind and his memory ain't what it used to be. And knowing several people who busked in their university days, crazy people who walk up to you while you're playing guitar in the street and begin ranting and raving are a daily occurrence. There's no reason why Desmond would stick out among all the other crazies. :)

You're completely, 100% WRONG about the "flashback". When Desmond turned the key, he actually relived that. He didn't tell that verbatim to Charlie because why would Charlie believe him? I'm not even going to bother pasting the rest together for you, but let me just tell you this: Rewatch the episode, and listen to the end of the conversation Desmond's teacher friend has with a female student before seeing "The Scot" and then the converstaion he was with the Scot afterwards, where he even admits he's time traveling. How can you not have picked up on it?

OK, listen, Paulo. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, STOP posting on my blog anonymously! First of all, I know it's you. Secondly, I wish you'd believe me, I'm not THAT Nikki! She's on the island with YOU. Thirdly, how the frak did you get Internet access when you're on the island?? Sheesh. I can barely tolerate having to listen to your inane conversations on the show, I really don't want to have to talk to you outside of it as well. If I thought you were a legitimate poster instead of just Paulo hiding behind his Anonymous tag, I'd ask you this: If I said pink was my favourite colour, would you tell me that no, I'm 100% dead wrong, because green is a much better colour? Because that's kinda what you've done here. The show was not cut and dry. You can watch it your way -- and to believe they've time travelled is a very valid interpretation of it, as I actually said in my blog and above, and I respect you for having that -- and I can watch it my way. But let's all be nice, K? Just chill out, Paulo. Go have a swim, hit a few golf balls, and mumble on about something that no one will pay attention to.

I loved last night's show Nikki, not quite as much as last week's though. I was also chuckling that Desmond "happened" to know an East Indian physicist who "happened" to be talking aboug time travel, how convenient! The episode had such a Final Destination feel to it, no matter what you do, you can't cheat death. I wonder if I believe that or not...Maybe Sylar will show up and lop off Charlie's skull and become a bad singer! LOL

Hahaha! Sigh... if only ALL of my favourite shows could come together like that. Maybe Betty will come to the island and be Sylar's personal assistant, and start ragging on him to be a better person, and finally yell, "I'm not going to tell you again: stop acting like a baby and get on with it!" and then Michael Scott would appear and say, "That's what she said." And Jim would look into the camera and make a face.

I liked the twist at the end, too. The ep reminded me of Stephen King's "Dead Zone" (the book), in which a likeable guy awakens from a coma and can predict the future to save people.

Hmm... good point! The writers LOVE Stephen King on the show, so it wouldn't surprise me if that's the case.