Random Stuff

Just a bunch of stuff I keep meaning to mention, but don't.

McSweeneys always has something awesome, and since I haven't been to the site in ages, I found a ton of stuff there that made me laugh. In "Romeo and Juliet Flynn, The Sophomore Squad's Head Cheerleader," Shakespeare's Romeo attempts to woo an obnoxious modern-day Juliet, and the result is hilarious. For fans of The Office (and if you're not a fan of The Office, what is wrong with you?) here is a spec script for the show as written by David Mamet. My husband and I are fans of Mamet's work, but we can't help but make fun of him all the time.

Rob: Would you pass the...

Me: ...ketchup? But I...

Rob: ...I just...

Me: ...you just?

Rob: ...I just... wanted the--

Me: ketchup? Yes. Yes. That is clear.

(OK, we are WEIRD, and the first to admit it.) Anyway, if you like to make fun of Mamet in your everyday speech, and think The Office is brilliant, then check it out. But I think my favourite one was Jean-Paul Sartre as a 911 operator. You can absolutely picture him smoking disdainfully and rolling his eyes at these pathetic people looking for outside help in their lives.

The Amazing Race: All-Stars edition started up again on Sunday (and I completely forgot about it, but luckily caught the OLN repeat on Monday, whew!) and I think having The Divas back (a.k.a. Oswald and Danny) has made me happier than any new season of AR has ever made me. I almost cried when these two were eliminated in the second season, and having them back is GREAT. Mirna and Charla are back as well. You'd think after North America watched them the first time and said, "Wow, Charla is carrying that dead weight cousin, despite the fact she's three feet tall" that Mirna would never want to show her face in public again. But... there they are. And as usual, Mirna's all whiny, "Oh my GOD it says we have to wrangle a hoooorse! Wah. [foot stomp] I don't WANT to." Charla: I'll hold the horse down myself if I have to, Mirna, for god's sakes, just stop whining." One thing that did make me laugh about them, though, is they still tend to think they can talk to the locals in foreign countries by speaking English in Italian accents to them. Doesn't matter where they are -- Ecuador, Germany, Poland -- they will say, "How-a fast ees dees car? Rapido, rapido!" Occasionally with a little Speedy Gonzalez thrown in, "Andele, andele, epa epa!" And whenever the cab driver gets them there they kiss their fingers and say, "Bellissima." I cannot wait until they get to France. "Je suis un salle de bain? Vous etes un taxi?" When that doesn't work, they will say loudly, "I-ah haf to go-a dees way!" Gotta love 'em.

I'll admit, I couldn't for the life of me remember who John Vito and Jill were. The names sounded familiar, but they didn't really ring a bell with me. Until, in the opener, Jill said in her New York accent, "My bruthuh doid in noin-eelevun. John Vito was a fiya-fightah and was at the Trade Centah." And then I thought ah. Right. Now I remember her. Every chance she got she talked about her brother and John Vito. Well, it hasn't worked out for them, and sadly, they were eliminated (it's bad to be the first one eliminated, but especially bad when this is your second crack at it). Oh well... GO TEAM DIVA!!!

In other awesome TV news, this Saturday, SNL will be starring Rainn Wilson (a.k.a. Dwight Schrute) so yeah, I'm in heaven here. But not only will the main guest be brilliant, but the musical act will be Arcade Fire. Wow... does this pairing GET any better?? I can't wait to see them try to fit all 10 of them onto the SNL stage.

In Lost news, the Series 2 action figures have finally been unveiled, and boy are they... awful. They don't look like the characters. Sawyer comes off as scuzzy, Jin is bent in half, Eko does NOT look like Eko, and they've immortalized the scene of Sun standing on the beach in a bikini. Because, as we all do, when I think of Sun, I think of her in a skimpy bikini. Ugh. I have the Locke action figure, when my gal K. got it for me for Christmas, and he is awesome. Why was the first series so good, and the second so... sucky?

Michelle Rodriguez has posted on her official Web site the real details of what happened the night of her DUI. It's sad, actually, and you can tell the anger is still there. What I thought was most interesting was the vulnerability evident in her post: she talks about how everyone was getting together to see Evangeline Lilly's episode at Evangeline's house, and while she wasn't feeling well, she wanted to fit in, so she went over to her house, but then was too shy to stay there, worried she'd be intruding. (Ok, the girl can't spell, but give her a break; it's not her job to.) It's a pretty interesting post.

Lost appears to be turning into Macbeth. Josh Holloway's house was broken into; Evangeline's burned to the ground just after Christmas. Rodriguez was busted for a DUI, Watros was also pulled over for a traffic violation, and Adewale was also called in by the cops for driving without a license. But now, in the worst twist of all, two crew members have died mysteriously, of apparent heart attacks. Not a lot of details are available, but the Honolulu Advertiser has the story.

I posted another question over at Yahoo Answers that wrapped up this week, asking people what mystery they would like to see solved by the end of season 3. I got lots of interesting ones, and many people said, what's up with the polar bears? One guy said we saw them once and then never another mention. I think he's watching a different show... but anyway, personally I thought it was pretty evident by this point that Dharma was conducting zoological experiments on the island, and the polar bears were brought in to see what would happen to polar bears in tropical conditions. We've seen at least two bears, maybe three (Sawyer killed one; it's not clear if the one who attacked Walt was also the one who had Eko in the cave) and when we saw the blast-door map on the Hatch you could see clearly that one section of the island had been cordoned off for the "polar bear experiments." One thing I wonder is, are the writers answering more questions than we think they are, but they're doing it so subtly people are missing it? I'm not saying the polar bears have been completely explained, but we can piece together a lot of clues to come up with some kind of genetic experiment. The "why" isn't clear, but the "what" is.

Other people who answered my question didn't exactly answer it, and instead used it as a forum to say stuff like, "Uh... I think the biggest mystery is why people are still watching this lame-ass show." I would say at least 30% of the answers were of that nature. But still, most asked good questions -- will we ever find out who the Adam and Eve skeletons are in the cave; where did Michael and Walt go; what exactly is the Dharma Initiative; what do Hurley's numbers represent, etc. The answer that I chose was a guy who talked about why it is we ask so many questions, and what keeps us coming back, and while he didn't exactly answer my question, I thought his question to answer the question was not only thoughtful, but TOTALLY in keeping with the way Lost avoids answering most things. :)

Over in Heroes land, I often write up my posts in Word and then cut and paste them into Blogger, and for some reason part of my post didn't make it over. (At least, I didn't see it there.) So I wanted to add that I had suggested last week Peter might develop the classic dark side that all the best superheroes have and must constantly battle within themselves. But this week I'm wondering if he's actually going to allow that dark side to take over? He certainly looked pretty evil when he was fighting Mystery Sock. I also had asked if maybe I liked this episode so much because Niki wasn't on it? I do find I like the non-Niki eps better. Hmm...

And then there's 30 Rock. I didn't get a chance to post on it last week, but it had some more classic moments, as the show always does.

Tina: What was that about? [after Tracy leaves Jack's office]

Jack: I've invited him to join me in a GE Charity Golf Tournament in Connecticut.

Tina: What, was Courtney Love not available?

Jack, on why he wants to golf with Don Geist: Being in a foursome with this man can change your life.

Jack singing, "simply the best" while looking at a painting of Don Geist. That he painted.

Lutz: Hey, what about my Dancing with the Hobos sketch?

Tina: I didn't like it two weeks ago when it was America's Next Top Hobo, and I didn't like it a month ago when it was Hobo Eye for the Straight Guy.

Lutz: Deal or No Hobo?

[side note: why is the word hobo so damn funny? Hm... just ask John Hodgman, I suppose]

Jack introducing Tracy around at the club.

Jack: Ted here is the head of our commercial aviation division.

Tracy: You need to hook me up with one of them helicopters.

Ted: Absolutely, I'd be happy to arrange for you to take a ride.

Tracy: Nah, I don't want to get in it. I want to blow it up and run away from it in slow motion.

Ted: hahaha! Pleasure to have met you.

Tracy: Damn straight! I'm delightful.

Liz hears Lutz calling her the c-word, and she tells Frank and Pete they have to fire Lutz for calling her the word, but she refuses to say it.

Liz: The one that rhymes with the name of your favourite Todd Rundgren album.

Frank: It rhymes with Hermit of Mink Hollow?

Liz says the reason the word is so bad is because there's no equivalent for a man, and the guys try to come up with one: "Munkus. Fungdark."

After Tracy asks Geist why there aren't any other black people at the club, they don't end up in Geist's foursome, and Tracy realizes he was just brought along to be the nice black man, so he plays it up on the golf course. Showing up in a loud plaid caddy's outfit, he is at his all-time best.

Tracy: I sho hope Mistah Jack plays his game good today, otherwise he whoops my ass right well when we get home, ain't dat right, Mistah Jack?...

After Kenneth said he studied TV Theory at Kentucky Mountain Bible College:

Tracy: I studied Fried Chicken at the School of Hard Knocks, ain't dat right, Mistah Jack?

Jack: You still here?
Tracy: I'm ridiculous. I'm BLACK. I may even be ugly. But DEAR GOD, I'm HE-AH, I'm HE-AH, [I wish I knew the rest of what he said, but I can't make it out]

Jack trying to tee off, and Tracy steps up and starts doing a jig: Would you like me to do a tap dance for you and your big-time friends Missah Jack? Or I could run around while y'all are throwin' rocks at me!

Jack pulls him aside: What are you doing?

Tracy: Payback, for the way you treated me. You used me!

Jack: God, it's like dating Katie Couric all over again.

Jack: We could be playing golf with Geist right now instead of Ted, who's best known for getting caught using a corporate credit card at a gay strip club! [Ted's wife is standing right behind him.] I'm sorry Mandy, you were bound to find out eventually.

OK, I'm tired now. Enough for tonight.