Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Super Karate Monkey Death Car
In an age where we have such awesome sitcoms again, like The Office, 30 Rock, Everybody Hates Chris, and My Name Is Earl, and where the cancellation of Arrested Development is still a fresh wound, I wanted to look back at one of my all-time fave shows, and my favourite episode from that show: NewsRadio.
My pal K. reminded me of it today when she sent me a link to a site that features clothing for cats. The best part of the site is that the English has been translated word for word from Japanese, and it makes for some hilarious lines. And then I remembered "Super Karate Monkey Death Car," the ep of NewsRadio where I've possibly laughed harder than at any other moment in any other sitcom.
The head of the station, Jimmy James, writes a business book that tanks in the U.S., but his publisher sells it to Japan and it goes to #1. So he has the brilliant idea of translating their version back into English and republishing it in the U.S. This is the transcript of the reading he does at Barnes and Noble, and it's actually the first time he's seen the new book.
Mr. James: "The original title of this book was 'Jimmy James, Capitalist Lion Tamer' but I see now that it's... 'Jimmy James, Macho Business Donkey Wrestler'... it's got kind of a ring to it don't it? Anyway, I wanted to read from chapter three... which is the story of my first rise to financial prominence... 'I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street... many days no business come to my hut. But Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no. I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my monkey strong bowels were girded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat and the opulence of buffalo... dung. [coughs nervously]...Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans... and pants to match. The monkey clown horrible karate round and yummy like cute small baby chick would beat the donkey'."
[scene cuts to the Q&A afterwards]
Question: "Mr. James, what did you mean when you wrote bad clown making like super American car racers, I would make them sweat, War War?"
Mr. James: "Well, you know... it's LIKE when a clown is making like a car... racer... it's sorta... like... the FCC. The CLOWN... the clown is like the FCC... and I was opposed to the FCC at the time, right? So it was like I was declaring War. WARRRR!"
Question: "So then did the American yum yum clown monkey also represent the FCC?"
Mr. James: "Yeah, it did. Thanks a LOT!" [tries to leave]
Question: "What did you mean when you said, "Feel my skills, donkey donkey donkey, donkey donkey?"
Mr. James: *Sigh*