Her comments immediately brought to mind a quote in the book I worked on once, called Frak You (a companion guide to BSG) where the author quoted Dirk Benedict as saying there was something seriously wrong with a female Starbuck, and it would never work. Despite looking happy in this picture here -- with Katee Sackhoff, at a *cough* Starbucks... ba dum bum bum -- he's very very VERY bitter about the reimagined BSG (probably because he wasn't offered a part in it) and isn't afraid of saying so.
My friend Chris just sent me a link to Dirk's latest rant about "Stardoe," as he calls her, explaining that in HIS day, men were men and women were women and everyone knew his/her place. Apparently women belong on TV shows to be the conquests of the womanizing male characters, and this new version of BSG — which forces us to look at the world today and see the various shades of grey in it — is depressing and stupid. Black is black and white is white and there is good and there is evil and THE END, in Dirk's world. Starbuck was a cigar-chomping womanizing sex machine and he had a LOT of ladies sending him underwear and the Suits (his capital, not mine) hated him, and cancelled the show because of him, he implies.
But enough of me talking, let's listen to Dirk:
In the bleak and miserable “re-imagined” world of “Battlestar Galactica,” things are never that simple. Maybe the Cylons are not evil and alien but in fact enlightened and evolved? Let us not judge them so harshly. Maybe it is they who deserve to live and Adama and his human ilk who deserve to die? And what a way to go! For the re-imagined terrorists (Cylons) are not mechanical robots void of soul, of sexuality, but rather humanoid six foot tall former lingerie models who f**k you to death. (Poor old Starbuck, you were imagined too early. Think of the fun you could have had ‘fighting’ with these thong-clad aliens!) In the spirit of such soft-core, sci-fi porn I think a more re-imaginative title would have been “F**cked by A Cylon.” (Apologies to “Touched by an Angel.”)
Personally, I love the TWO asterisks he's added to his bad word at the end. How exactly does he think that word is spelled?
This was my personal favourite part:
Women are from Venus. Men are from Mars. Hamlet does not scan as Hamletta. Nor does Hans Solo as Hans Sally. Faceman is not the same as Facewoman. Nor does a Stardoe a Starbuck make. Men hand out cigars. Women “hand out” babies. And thus the world for thousands of years has gone’ round.
Seriously, does it get more awesome than that? If he were writing Lost, Kate would simply be repopulating the island while Sawyer marked off his female conquests with notches on a coconut tree. And Jack and Locke would be handing out cigars.
You can read the entire thing here. And scroll down for the comments. Some of them are what you'd expect, "Oh my god, STARBUCK! You are THE MAN, and you are totally right and the new BSG sucks!" But there are some really good ones in there pointing him out for what he really is. Like these two:
Randy - January 19th, 2009 at 10:22 amWow, a washed up actor bitter that his brief shine in the spotlight has been totally eclipsed by a far superior version of that 70s joke. Whereas Dirk glorifies and even sanctifies the cheap Star Wars ripoff that he so beloves, Ron Moore’s version takes the genre to a whole new level of intrigue and sophistication.
It’s not the Big Suit’s fault that they’re better than you, Dirk. Grow up.
Stav - January 19th, 2009 at 10:29 amDude, Katee Sackhoff’s Starbuck has a much bigger pair than your femme, hairbrushing, mirror-loving pipsqueek ever did. When I was 14 or so your old show was a great Sunday night diversion. The new BSG is like a great novel, with three-dimensional characters, a taut storyline and complex thought-provoking writing.
Don’t be an old has-been grump. Lesser storytellers provided the seeds that gave us Shakespeare. Your little romp is the seed that gave us an extraordinary five years of drama.