Tuesday, May 26, 2009

This. Isn't. Happening.

One of my readers sent me this horrific news story today, saying she knew it would freak me out (thanks for the link, Ashlie!). Yes. Freaking out. So it would appear the Buffy movie is become a more serious possibility. Which should be cause for a big YAY, right?

Wrong. Turns out Joss Whedon AIN'T ATTACHED TO THE PROJECT.

Let's take a little trip down memory lane, shall we? It's 1992, and 20th Century Fox thought it would be an awesome idea to take a serious, dramatic film with comic overtones and turn it into a stupid teen sex comedy called Buffy the Vampire Slayer, starring Kristy Swanson. Throw in a little Rutger Hauer and Luke Perry, and wham, movie. The only funny thing in the entire film was Pee Wee Herman's death scene, which still makes me chuckle. But even IT wasn't in the spirit of what Joss intended.

Fast-forward to 1996, where Joss was given a second chance, something that NEVER happens in Hollywood. He took back his original script and fashioned a groundbreaking television series out of it, creating a pop culture icon along the way and virtually erasing from our memories any trace of that earlier movie.

Sigh. Have they learned NOTHING? As the writer says, "sometimes it's as if Hollywood sets out with 'failure' plugged right into the GPS."

This is an early news bulletin, so it could be the media screeching about something that's not even close to development. Let's all breathe together, and pray. I don't think this will happen. It can't. IT JUST CAN'T.

24 comments:

joshua said...

Here's an idea worth developing:

Nikki the Idiotic Hollywood Producer Slayer.

Robbie said...

They claim in the article it will be a new generation Slayer, so the movie shouldn't even be called Buffy

Batcabbage said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
yorick28 said...

I almost fell off my chair this morning when I first read of this. Buffy without Joss? That's just crazy talk.

According to Ausiello over at EW, Joss had this response to the news they were thinking of doing a Buffy movie without him: "I hope it's cool." I definitely have to applaud his restraint, because God knows my reply would have involved much more profanity.

Beej said...

I think my Twitter feed for the afternoon says all I need to say on it:

The more I think about this Whedonless Buffy, the madder I get. It's just disrespectful to a cast and crew who worked hard to be great.

It's also an insult to us Buffy fans, new and old alike, saying that what we love can be done better. At least the new Star Trek had Nimoy.

And the new Star Trek had the same characters. Rebooting Buffy without the scooby gang will make it as unmemorable as the original movie.

redeem147 said...

So, Lindsay Lohan or Paris Hilton?

*vomits a little*

Nikki Stafford said...

I was talking to my husband about this at dinner, and I said, "I wouldn't go to this movie. I would have zero interest in it, as would any other Buffy fan." It's dead from the get-go, since they'd have to aim it at Buffy fans to get them to come. ARGH.

And joshua, I think that's a BRILLIANT idea. Angelina Jolie could play me, because she's a DEAD RINGER.

*cough*

Benny said...

I would certainly like to find out which producers are attached to the project. See if there are any connection to the original movie.

By the way, just found out Mr. Whedon wrote Alien: Resurrection.

Benny said...

Oh, I forgot. Have you heard of Joss' upcoming project "Cabin in the Woods"?

It's co-written and directed by Drew Goddard, who wrote and produced on Lost and Alias as well as writing for Angel and Buffy.

redeem147 said...

The Kuzuis own the original script rights, which means they own the character of Buffy. This is why they were listed as executive producers on the series, although they had nothing to do with it.

It's also why a movie couldn't include any characters except Buffy. We could see - the return of Pike!

Benny said...

And there lies your shadow juncture!

I would also assume that their 'interest' in the original movie is what led to the obvious results which remain recorded on tape.

Word verification: sabbat

Blam said...


Nikki: I was talking to my husband about this at dinner, and I said, "I wouldn't go to this movie. I would have zero interest in it, as would any other Buffy fan." It's dead from the get-go, since they'd have to aim it at Buffy fans to get them to come. ARGH.

You mean "GRR. ARGH." 8^)

The EW page with the article also has a poll. Nobody has voted with a yea on seeing the movie. 33% went for "They can make it, but it will never exist to me." 65% chose "When and where is the riot occurring?" (I can only assume the missing 2% is due to decimals coming off the other numbers, so maybe fewer than 0.5% people did vote positively but it wasn't enough for that answer to show up in the results.)

Over on the Hollywood Reporter page with the original piece, there's a poll running on who should be cast in the proposed movie. Other, with a write-in option, is winning with 49%. My write-in vote was for Michelle Trachtenberg.

Blam said...


13th post!

I forgot to ask who did the Buffy cartoon, Nikki. So who did the Buffy cartoon?

Beej said...

Yeah, I think the producers are really shooting themselves in the foot with this one. There is going to be so much bad press going on with this one, that if they alienate their target audience this early on, there is no chance for profit.

I posted a much expanded version of my comments over on my blog, too. This just burns me up, and I've only seen the first two seasons so far!

Batcabbage said...

@Blam: Who did the Buffy cartoon?

If I'm remembering correctly (and there's every chance that I'm not) I believe the Buffy cartoon was fleshed out by Joss and Jeph Loeb, writer on Smallville and Heroes (and scapegoat of the latter show's decline, despite a room full of writers, and a generally sucky show), and writer of many fine comics, and a few lame ones (Ultimates 3 sucked donkey... things). Matter of fact, I just checked Buffy Season 8 #20 (which was written by Jeph, and featured a nice Buffy cartoon-style dream sequence), and yes, he developed the Buffy cartoon with Joss for television. The comic was illustrated by Eric Wight, who designed the look of the cartoon with them.

JJ said...

I'm not opposed to the concept of a Jossless Buffy project on principle. The guy's not perfect, as talented as he is, and if asked what I disliked about Buffy (the tv show) I could go on at some length. Even without Whedon's specific take on the character, the premise he came up with 20 years ago is pretty cool in its own right, and someone else's spin on it could be interesting.

But not the Kuzuis'. They ruined Joss' script -- seriously, find the original script Whedon wrote for that movie, it's not hard, and compare it to what was made. Not only is it darker in tone, it's also much funnier. These people have done nothing but cash cheques sent them for their non-roles in the Buffy and Angel tv shows for 15 plus years, and now they want more money. I am not interested in another Kuzui Buffy movie.

Nikki Stafford said...

Blam: I wasn't sure if you meant the Buffy cartoon that had been in development (in which case Batcabbage is right, and it was Jeph Loeb) or the cartoon that accompanied the post. I thought it was encoded to go straight to the guy's site and just realized it wasn't, and I hate to grab anything without permission, so whether or not you were asking about that, you can check out the guy's site here:

http://tinyurl.com/r8jlaf

Nikki Stafford said...

JJ: You're right; Joss isn't perfect, because he's human, and I don't think anyone ever expects anyone to be perfect. I agree there were things that could have been done differently, but Joss's style was being cramped by the networks, and he was forced to focus on things he shouldn't have had to worry about. He didn't have the luxury that Darlton has right now, of a network showing confidence in him and promising no cancellation and allowing him to do whatever he wanted. So for that reason, his hands were tied sometimes. Didn't change the fact the series was frickin' brilliant.

And I am opposed to a Jossless Buffy on principle. When he lost his focus on Buffy's season 4 because he was turning his sights to Angel's first season, it showed. When he had his script utterly rewritten for the movie, it was a disaster. When he was focused and doing nothing but Buffy, it was awesome. :)

I absolutely wouldn't go see it. I agree with you 100% about the Kuzuis and their greed in this whole thing.

Blam said...


Nikki & BC: I meant the little cartoon illo that Nikki posted, not the animated series. I'm well aware of that and of Jeph Loeb's work -- spent hours on the phone with him for an issue of Comicology, a magazine that I published and then edited/packaged for another publisher until that publisher's actions became intolerable while I dealt with health issues that forced me to first fold the magazine and then pretty much stop working altogether. I haven't loved everything that Loeb's written but he was very gracious during a great, comprehensive interview.

humanebean said...

Nik, don't know if you've yet seen the brief response Joss offered to this news, so here's the link:

http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/05/a-joss-less-buf.html

Batcabbage said...

@Blam: Oops! Sorry, thought you meant the unaired cartoon, which would have been great. You've interviewed Jeph Loeb??!! That's completely awesome. You used to publish a comics magazine??!!! That's even more awesome!!!

Nikki said...

This. Must. Not. Happen.
It's hard enough when people think of the Kristy Swanson film when I say I'm writing about "Buffy" (in my PhD program). :P

Blam said...


It was (mostly) awesome while it lasted, BC, and I hope to return to it one day. The interview is from 2000, so no talk about Heroes or Superman/Batman, but still lots about Superman and Batman (including The Long Halloween) and behind-the-scenes wonkiness. We didn't just cover superheroes, though. Now that I think about it, there's also a great, full-page Buffy illo from Bruce Timm, producer on the New Batman/Superman Adventures cartoons and much else (probably out on the Interwebs somewhere now). If you're interested in a copy and can't track one down I could dig one up, to mix directional metaphors.

Cedar said...

Nikki, I think you should get your quotation put on a t-shirt--"I am opposed to a Jossless Buffy on principle!"--and wear it to Slayage in 2010.