WATCH PUSHING DAISIES...
And that's an order.

I just watched the second episode, and I am absolutely head over heels in love with this show. I feel like it was written just for me, with an Edward Gorey/Tim Burton feel to it that I adore. The second episode was fantastic: Olive broke into Olivia Newton John's "Hopelessly Devoted" in the middle of The Pie Hole (how much do I love the name of the restaurant, seriously...), but kept getting interrupted, which was hilarious; Ned and Chuck shared a kiss through body bags that was more romantic than any other kiss I've seen this season; Ned installed a protective guard in his car between the passenger seat and driver seat so Chuck could ride shotgun without dying... and he included a little glove so they could hold hands (squee!); Emerson is a knitter, and it actually gets them out of a tight fix... he was the highlight of the ep for me, knitting his little gun cozies, almost making a comment about Ned and Chuck being the real dummies but keeping it to himself, using his knitting needles to get them out of a tight fix, and giving the single most hilarious face in the episode when the car in front of them explodes and a fiery box of laxatives lands on their hood...

If you haven't watched the ep, this will all sound seriously insane, but this is my fave show that's on right now (and yes, I'm officially putting it ahead of a lacklustre Heroes this season...). I can't wait for next week.

News: Fisher Stevens -- i.e. that guy who was once engaged to Michelle Pfeiffer back in the 80s, and then... I dunno, did he do something since then? -- has been cast on Lost as the guy you heard talking on the sat phone at the end of the finale last year.

Bionic Woman, Cane, Journeyman, and Life have all gotten requests for more scripts. It doesn't meant they'll get full-season orders, but this is a good sign! Gossip Girl has been picked up for the full season, and is the first show to have gotten the order. Yay!

Other shows I'm watching:

Heroes: Did I mention lacklustre? I still love it, and enjoy it every week, but I need some new heroes, quick (Kristen Bell doesn't show up until week 5 so I have 2 more weeks to wait).

Cane: Is still great. I've seen the first two episodes, and Jimmy Smits' character has that same moral ambiguity of Angel or Spike, but without the camp. You do NOT mess with him, yet as the protagonist he gets us to cheer him on, even as he's doing terrible things to people. Please don't cancel this show...

Reaper: Still hilarious, but it might be one I drop, only because it's SO much like Chuck, as I've mentioned, that I'm starting to mix the two up in my head, and Chuck is far superior.

Chuck: In this week's episode, Chuck goes to a fancy ball with an art auction, and as he's drawn to the one painting, a woman comes up to him and asks what he thinks, to which he replies, in a fluster, "It has a certain... Bob Ross-ian quality to it." I nearly fell off the couch laughing. I'm sure I'm not the only person who's been on the couch on a Saturday afternoon channel-surfing, and stopping when I see a white guy with a giant afro standing on an entirely black stage with a single spotlight on him, painting and talking about inserting "a happy little tree." At least, now I know Chuck has also sat and watched this guy transform a white canvas into a painting of an outdoor landscape that I would see hanging in my grandparents' home. Best line of the week.

Gossip Girl: Still awesome, and I'm enjoying the ongoing tension between Serena and Blair. Does anyone else get the feeling that Dan is Gossip Girl? I know that's probably not the case, but I swear he's standing right there whenever you hear Gossip Girl's voiceover.

America's Next Top Model: Not awesome. Boring, in fact. I think I'm watching it out of habit at this point. This week was makeover week, traditionally a great ep, but they showed us the digital image of what each girl would look like, taking away the final result so it's not a surprise. Wah.

Dirty Sexy Money: In last week's ep, there's a quiet scene at the end of the episode where Nate Nick tells Tripp that he can't get his dad's briefcase open. Tripp, gazing out of the window, suggests he try 712, which is his wife's birthday. As Nick sets up the numbers and pushes the button, the loud click of the briefcase causes Tripp to close his eyes in pain. The moment he's dreaded for 40 years -- proof that his wife had been having an affair with his best friend -- has finally come. Sutherland is terrific in this scene, and this is coming from someone who's not a big fan of his. This week he's just as good, when he explains to Nick that he probably knew deep down about the affair, but didn't actually know know. Jeremy and Juliet continue to intrigue me (Jeremy's hot in a going-nowhere kind of way), though the scene at the end where Juliet finds out Jeremy bought expensive jewellery for her nemesis featured the worst acting I've seen on the show yet. I really like the scenes between Patrick and Carmelita (played by Candis Cayne, possibly the most beautiful and believable female impersonators I've ever seen). They could have gone the route of the outlandish with this plotline of Patrick -- the guy running for senator -- sleeping with a transsexual, but instead he's really in love with her, and she's pretty amazing.

Ugly Betty: Continues to make me laugh. Too bad Papi's back (I don't like him very much), but the scene this week of Henry telling off Marc and Amanda and Marc saying he can't remember ever being so turned on was a riot.

30 Rock: Last night's ep was as brilliant as the week before: Jenna deciding to "keep" her belly roll as if it's a baby; Liz eating the steak WAY too fast and saying with a straight face that a dog came into the room and took it from her; Jack taking a little too long to save Will Arnett from choking to death; Tracy sending Kenneth as a gift to his wife; Kenneth telling Angie that he's really good at the "sex stuff." I love this show.

The Office: Finally back to its original form. The scene where Meredith walks up to Jim and has him sign her pelvis cast had my husband laughing so hard we had to pause it (by the way, I'm positive he signs "John Krasinski" and not "Jim Halpert" in that scene... did anyone keep the episode so they could pause and look?). Dwight's computer becoming "self-aware" was pure prank classic (and it was sweet that Pam felt sorry for Dwight and was nice to him, but she said he "mercy-killed" Angela's cat, and there was really nothing merciful about what he did...); Kevin saying Alfredo's pizza is like eating a "hot circle of garbage" had me howling (now... why didn't Michael just send the kid away with his pizza and not pay for it, since he was going to order pizza from the other place anyway?); Phyllis trying to use psychology on Angela's bitchiness; Stanley grooving to the Infinity Web site music; Michael giving a speech and everyone in the office just watching the TV screensaver hoping it'll go straight into the corner slot (ok, I've TOTALLY done that with the computer windows screensavers); Andy getting his Barbershop quartet on the phone and doing ABBA's "Take a Chance on Me" (HA!)... how could Angela not fall for that, even when the guy is Andy?; . This was a great episode.

Journeyman: I liked this week's ep more than the previous, but like I said last week, I want a little more tension in the present. Luckily, Katie discovered at the end that one thing Dan is doing in the past is seeing Livia, and if that doesn't cause serious tension, nothing will. I was talking to someone who knows the writer on this coming week's ep, and said it was going to be a high-concept episode. I'm intrigued.

Moonlight: Week 2 was a vast improvement over week 1. However, the writer was David Greenwalt (i.e. the guy who created the Angel character on Buffy, and helmed the show Angel in the first season it was a spinoff). What is he doing writing for this show? A) doesn't he recogize it's ripping off his baby? B) doesn't it kill him that all of the vampire tendencies/myths/belief systems have been thrown out the window to make the writing easier? What is he thinking?
Anyway, all that aside, I liked it a lot more, but by 3/4 of the way through, thought this was it, and I'm not tuning in beyond this. And then in the final 5 minutes, I changed my mind: when Beth walks into Mick's apartment and finds him greedily sucking back blood from blood bags and his eyes all white and the teeth showing, she discovers that he's a vampire. That's going to put things in a new direction. I'll give it one more week...

Aliens in America: HILARIOUS. If you're not watching this show, please do. There's a scene where Justin turns to his bitchy sister to find out how to distance himself from Raja (after Raja has stood up in class and announced that if he were trapped on a deserted island, the only thing he would want is Justin, prompting people to say they were a gay couple), and she says, "Just do what I do: I told everyone you were my brother, and we adopted you from a retarded family." He stares at her and says with a dead voice, "You had to make my WHOLE family retarded." I was in stitches. I love this show.

Everybody Hates Chris: Something's been lost with this show. The scenes at home are still funny, and there are still moments in Chris Rock's voiceover that make me laugh, but it just doesn't compete with The Office or Aliens in America. But I've been watching it for 2 years now, so...

Torchwood: I checked out this series last Friday when it premiered on CBC. It was intriguing, and had some interesting twists, but I don't think I'll stick with it. A little too Doctor Who, without the Daleks. Not that that's a bad thing, but it just didn't feel original.

The Tudors: Holy Henry Hotness! I've just watched the first ep of this show, and it was great. And Henry is one fine-looking dude. This is the pre-50-inch-waist years. Thank god.

Dexter: Still creepy as hell... this week's was hilarious and tragic, as Dexter tries to get his killin' mojo back. His voiceovers are still SO great, as they're usually ironic or sarcastic commentary on what is happening on the screen. He had to put his brother to rest, finally, though I felt it was done a little quickly (I was hoping his bro would dog him for the season, and maybe he will reappear, but the final scene seemed pretty... final). The scene of Dexter being pulled away from his brother when they're in that carton was heartbreaking... what kind of cop would take only one child and leave the other one in that horrid place?? It made me cry.

Friday Night Lights: Yay, it's back!! I was talking to a friend who was pretty disturbed by what happens with Landry and Tyra (she's not alone), but I actually found it pretty believable, and in keeping with how they might react to the situation. If you didn't like it, and thought it was contrived, Jason Katims has said in an interview that this week's episode will change that, and offer more explanation. I love love this show. And I'm still in love with Coach Carter...

Bionic Woman: Hmm... I wanted this show to be better... here's still hoping.

Kitchen Nightmares: Haven't seen this week's ep yet. See above.

Curb Your Enthusiasm: OK, this show was supposed to have been finished after last season, and that's what Larry David said, and then, like the Who, the show came back. But I'm so glad... it's the same horrid discomfort that the show's always done best, and I love it. Larry meets the "Black family," who happens to be black, and blurts out that it would be like his last name being "Jew." Larry is late getting home, and drives past the site of his best friend's mother's recent death, which is covered in flowers, and actually steals some flowers from it to take to his wife as an apology. Yeowch. Only Larry...

OK, I think that's it. Well, I'm also watching EastEnders (where Michelle Ryan is NOT bionic) and loving it, but it's too far behind (I think they're in November 2005 at this point) to comment on it.

I think I need to cut down on my TV. Thank goodness for long periods of feeding my newborn son on the couch. :)

Heroes Ep. 3: Kindred
Sylar's back, Takezo's on his way to becoming a hero, and Candice is Michelle. Hmm... I thought this week's ep was pretty good, but unfortunately, so much of it was predictable.

Peter: The Oirish clan decides dey're gonna look for da pot o' gold at de end of da rainbow, and dey need Peter ta help dem. Dey remind Peter dat dey're brudders, BOYO (love how they throw in that word to make it "authentic") and dey all have da family crest... but Peter hears that one of them is traitor, and boom, by the end of the ep, he's a traitor, and Peter becomes a brudder.

Claire: Crazy flying guy calls her a "lizard girl" in class, and then we're subjected to one of the cheesiest moments I've seen on this show (what was WITH that crapola piano music that played when he flew through the air with her???) Ugh. Anyone else think he's a drippy doofus? Only interesting thing is finding out that HRG hunted him and marked him. Oooooh....

Candice: "They're looking for me, so I had to take on a new identity." Truth: "The actress who plays me moved over to star on Reaper, so the producers had to replace my character. Luckily, I'm an illusionist!" And, apparently, an overweight girl who couldn't deal with her looks so she created a new persona. Not sure how to feel about this.

Hiro: I was actually intrigued by Hiro's story; I love the idea of him leaving little scrolls of his story in the shaft of the sword, although it's hard to believe 300 years went by with no one finding the scrolls in the shaft, especially when the instructions to open it were right on the bottom. But that nitpick aside, I liked the idea of telling the story that way. Takezo takes on the 90 Angry Ronins (his comment, "Just how angry ARE they?" was hilarious) and wins, or so it seems (you never know with that guy) and he's turning into the hero that Hiro wants him to be. Unfortunately, he's taken a shine to the swordsmith's daughter, and now can't time travel until he can close this chapter in his life.

Mohinder: He's under constant supervision by Bob (by the way, awesome Buffy connection: Stephen Tobolowsky, who plays this guy, was the original Principal Flutie in the unaired Buffy pilot, but by the time the WB picked up the show, the role was being played by Ken Lerner. Every time I see Tobolowsky I think of Flutie). He finds the final painting that Noah's been looking for.

Noah: The final painting has his death, and it looks like it's perpetrated by Claire and Flying boy. Eek. But they've been able to change Isaac's paintings before, so let's see what they do here.

Niki and Micah: DAMMIT I was so enjoying this show without them. Niki is off to see Bob, who's promised her a cure (and she hasn't learned her lesson about not talking to strangers) and she drops Micah off at Uhura's house in Louisiana. (Apparently there's only room for one Trek actor at a time, and they have to kill off one before bringing in the next.) She opens the door mysteriously and then says, with a little too much excitement, "WELCOME to Nawlins!" and then looks at them and the camera holds her for a little too long, that same way they segue out of soap opera scenes by holding the camera too long on them and they make painful expressions.

Alejandro and Maya: What's up with these two? This season I find their story the most intriguing (which is why they need to hurry up and introduce some new people, because discovering all the new people last season was the real fun of the show). She does terrible things, and Alejandro then sucks the evil out of her. What is it doing to him? Is he absorbing the badness and is it killing him? Is he turning evil? Could he become a Sylar-type? Until now Alejandro seems to go away from her, and she's unable to stop the blackness from coming on. But this week she actually wills it. Eek. What's up with her? Good guy or bad guy?

Sylar: Speaking of bad guys, looks like Sylar's lost his mojo. LOVE having Zachary Quinto back, but he's a bit impotent, so to speak. Lets see how long it takes him to get it back.

Bite Me Again!

I've been waiting for the cover to finish up before mentioning this, but my Buffy book, Bite Me!, which was released in 2002, has been updated with season 7 and the season 8 comic book series, and will be out in stores before Christmas. And it has a fancy new cover!! :)

Thursday Night Funnies
My Thursday nights on NBC are complete again, now that 30 Rock is back!

Last night's 30 Rock was an instant classic. Jack incorporates "Seinfeldvision" with all of the NBC shows, using old footage of Jerry Seinfeld, manipulated by a computer to be inserted into any NBC show, allowing him to bring Seinfeld back to the network. It was HILARIOUS. (They show him inserted into Heroes, calling Hiro and Ando on the phone and whispering, "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World!" with his big fuzzy hair from the Seinfeld days.)

Fave line (y'all knew I was going to choose this one): Jack asks Jerry to work with him, and says just pick the show and I'll let you cameo on it, and Jerry says, "I like Lost. Do you do that one?" Hahahahahahaha...

Other fave moments:
Ken doing the Seinfeld theme on the elevator, and Jerry saying, "Seriously?"
Liz wearing the wedding dress and Tracy seeing her and saying, "oh no, did a Korean person die?"
Jack saying you could buy NBC for $4 million.
Jack's plans to kill Jerry.
Ken becoming Tracy's work wife.

The Office was a good one, too... Jim and Pam were outed inadvertently by Toby, who looked crushed to find out Pam was with Jim for reals. Angela referred to Pam as "the office mattress" (!!!!) which is cruel even for Angela. Ryan came back, and Kelly told him she was pregnant, which was a lie, and then was shocked when he was angry about it. Poor Toby not only had to deal with Pam and Jim coming over and asking if they needed to sign an office love statement, but his old nightmare of Kelly and Ryan yelling about their relationship in the next cubicle was relived. Dwight and Michael upped the awkward ante by going around to businesses that had left Dunder-Mifflin and begging for them to come back, offering them gift baskets. The joke was that gift baskets were a thing of the past, but I can tell you, working in an office where we get giant gift baskets from certain suppliers every Christmas, we definitely learn to love those people more. There's nothing like a tower of Ferrero Rochers to buy my business. :)

What’s on my PVR – Part 2

Returning Shows:

Dexter: Ah, how I love that this show is back. Opening episode was seriously awesome, and made me even angrier that Michael C. Hall was completely overlooked for the Emmy. I wasn’t sure how they were going to possibly follow the first season up with a further season, considering what happened, but now I see that while the first season was about him chasing another serial killer, in this season he will become the hunted. By his own sister, no less, while “helping” the force find him. Awesome.

Gossip Girl: Still love.

Bionic Woman: Halfway through ep 2, and I’m enjoying it still, but it’s not knocking my socks off.

Journeyman: After week 2, I’m a little worried this show is going to be a “who will Dan save this week?” show and won’t have enough of the present circumstance in there. What I liked the most is the conundrum between sticking with his wife and child in the present and wanting to go to Livia in the past. I hope they delve more into that.
**Peter Bjorn and John Watch: “Young Folks,” which I previously spotted in Gossip Girl and Dirty Sexy Money, ALSO played in the end moments of Journeyman. Come on, people… sure, it’s a great song, but there are other small indie bands that have a huge song that could be inspiring you.

America’s Next Top Model: Same old.

Kitchen Nightmares: This week’s was more like the first ep, unfortunately. Now that someone posted in my comments that last week’s was, indeed, the contentious episode the show is being sued over, I wonder if Fox just toned it way down, making it far more subtle and not so over-the-top. THEY SHOULD KEEP DOING THAT. It was the subtlety that makes the show work on the BBC. This week, they pretended to return 2 months later, but they didn’t really (I was so excited, and then…) All of the scenes they showed were from the final night, not 2 weeks later. To make it worse, they made it look like Mike the manager had a blowup during service, when in fact it was long after the restaurant had closed. Not sure if Fox thinks were stupid (correction: they do) but the owners tell him to leave, he goes outside, cut to edit of a full restaurant of people looking outside. Cut to Mike, standing outside waiting for them to make a decision, and he’s standing near the window, which is DARK with the curtains drawn and it’s long after closing. Duh. I think Martin from ep 2 just might have a case.

New shows:

Chuck:
Premise: Guy who works as a Nerds on Site person for a Staples-type store gets an email from a former roommate, now working as a spy, sending him all of the government secrets encoded in a series of weird images. The spy is killed, and the NSA and CIA are in a race to see who can find Chuck and put him to good use.
What I Liked: The show is hilarious. It has a wry humour about it that made me laugh out loud at parts (in one scene he goes to “LargeMart,” which is clearly a Costco, and when a spy begins chasing him throughout the store he runs up to an employee and asks her if she can find someone from security “or that guy who checks the receipts.” HA!!)
What I Didn’t Like: I can’t really think of anything I didn’t like about this. It’s bizarre and over-the-top, and in just the right parts.
People from my other shows: Jayne from Firefly; General Beckman made appearances on Buffy, Alias, and Angel.
Verdict: Chuck’s a keeper.

Moonlight:
Premise: If you’ve seen Angel and Forever Knight, you know the premise.
What I Didn’t Like: Geez… where to start? First of all, in the opening five minutes they drop every myth about vampires you can imagine. This guy can walk around during the day, it just gives him a headache (??) Holy water has no effect on him, nor does garlic, a cross or any religious symbol, and if you drive a wooden stake through his heart, he “gets better.” COME ON. The writers just tossed everything about vampires out the window because it makes their job easier. Unlike the writers on Angel, these ones don't have to worry about actually setting everything at night and making sure they're consistent, etc. And as if the premise of the show wasn’t Angel enough, between every scene they do an overhead shot of L.A. shot very quickly with the traffic sped up below… EXACTLY the same segues they used on Angel all the time. There’s a blond woman in the show who finally catches on that Mick’s a vampire… think Elizabeth Rohm in season 1 of Angel, without the attitude problem.
What I Liked: Jason Dohring was great; he was NOTHING like Logan, showing the guy’s actually got a lot of range. And the second half of the show was a lot better than the first.
People from my other shows: Logan from Veronica Mars; Hiatt from The Shield; I know there were some others but now they escape me.
Verdict: One more week, and then I’m dropping it. The fight between the two vampires at the end was pretty cool, and enough to bring me back, but I was SO ticked about them dropping the vampire myths it’ll take a lot to keep me.

Reaper:
Premise: A guy’s parents sold his soul to the devil before he was born, and now on his 21st birthday the devil’s come to collect, making him a bounty hunter, collecting people who’ve escaped from Hell.
What I Liked: Another really funny show, Sock has a very Kevin Smith sense of humour (Smith exec produces and directed first ep), and the cast is great. Also had moments that made me laugh out loud. In the second ep they chase a guy who can make lightning, and they dress from head to toe in rubber, causing Sock to worry aloud that they’re going to die “dressed like a bunch of condoms.”
What I Didn’t Like: Odd that Chuck and Reaper are two similar shows in the same season – two geeks who both work in big box stores and have things happen to them by people on the outside that sentence them to a life of doom. I honestly keep mixing up the two shows in my head.
People from my other shows: Chuck’s crush, Ali, is the illusionista from Heroes.
Verdict: Another keeper. Man… my poor PVR. Why so many good shows this year?!

Pushing Daisies:
Premise: A piemaker has discovered since he was a kid that if he touches a dead thing he can bring it back to life, but with a second touch he kills them again, permanently. A second catch: If he brings them back to life for longer than a minute, someone else drops dead to balance out the universe. He makes money on the side of pie business by finding out where reward money is offered, and going in to the dead people, touching them, asking who killed them, getting the info, and killing them again.
What I Liked: I LOVED this show. The night before I watched it, I was saying to my husband that despite this season having a bunch of great shows that I really don’t want to stop watching, there was no standout like Heroes or Friday Night Lights that I became completely emotionally invested in. And then I saw this one. Okay, I won't become "emotionally invested" in it, not like Friday Night Lights, but it's a keeper for sure. The colours are a little too bright, the sets too unrealistic, the music very Tim Burton/Bernard Herrmann, and it features a voiceover that sounds like a man reading a bedtime story. It’s perfect. In fact, the thing I could compare it to over anything else is a Tim Burton film, which I was saying to a friend of mine the other day. It’s like an outlandish fairy tale… about killing people for money. Lee Pace is great as Ned; actually the cast is fantastic overall. The humour is very funny (the waitress at the Pie Hole, the hilarious name of the restaurant, keeps mixing up words and says for years she thought masturbation was when you chewed your food slowly, hahahaha!), and yet it has a twinge of sadness about everything.
What I Didn’t Like: Only one nitpick: When he’s a little boy, his dog is hit by a car, and he touches the dog, who jumps back up and starts running. Unphased, the kid runs after him. Some time later, after touching flies and bugs, etc. his mother drops dead of an aneurysm. He touches her, and she’s fine. Then that night she kisses him goodnight and drops dead, and that’s when he realizes if he touches something twice, it dies again. My question is… we’re to believe he NEVER touched that dog again? I find that hard to believe. Just a small nitpick. And I’m not sure how it’ll continue; I just hope it doesn’t become a “dead person of the week” show.
People from my other shows: Locke’s mom from Lost.
Verdict: The best of the new shows. I’m praying it doesn’t get cancelled after 3 episodes. Then again, it’s reminiscent of Wonderfalls, so…

Aliens in America:
Premise: A guy who is a complete loser in school gets an exchange student, thinking he’ll get some swim team captain from Sweden who will make him totally cool, but when an equally nerdy kid from Pakistan shows up, he knows his loserdom just plummeted even further.
What I Liked: Three new comedies that are really funny! STOP. I can’t take another show… how am I going to decide what to drop? The mother in this one is especially great; she’s uber-aware of the giant L on her son’s forehead, and does everything to make him “cool,” but nothing works. When he ends up on the jock’s list of top 10 “bangable chicks,” I was howling. (But felt bad about it.)
What I didn’t Like: The scene at the airport where the boy shows up from Pakistan would have been funnier with that crazy music, if I hadn’t seen the movie Election 4,000 times and completely associated it with Reese Witherspoon. Again, stop with the music that is so readily identifiable with something else.
Verdict: I’m going to keep watching. Dammit. I need to get a bigger PVR.

Still on the PVR: The Tudors, Five Days, The War

Heroes: Lizards
I was watching the film Flags of Our Fathers today on TMN (a gory film, but beautifully done) and in the final moments, the voiceover says that people are not heroes, and they don't want to be heroes. We create heroes and turn otherwise ordinary people into heroes because it's something WE need. I thought that sentiment applied to this show better than anything I've heard recently.

Last night's Heroes was even better than the week before. In the premiere, Hiro realized that maybe some of his heroes weren't what they're cracked up to be, and like that sentiment, Hiro needed Kensei to be a great warrior because it allowed him to maintain a belief in heroes on general. This week, Hiro becomes Kensei and makes him the hero that his father always told him he was. And we discover that Kensei seems to have the same power that Claire has. I loved the Hiro storyline this week.

Speaking of Claire, I know that she heals, but does she not feel pain? Wouldn't sticking her hand in boiling water feel like she'd stuck her hand in boiling water? Wouldn't cutting off her toe feel like she'd just cut off her toe? Or does she have a lessened pain response? Healing aside, if sticking your hand in boiling water would feel like it, I think you'd use a collander, like her mom suggests.

Angela Petrelli almost meets her maker, and she's accosted by someone we can't even see. Could this be the storied bogeyman that Molly mentioned?

Peter's still being held captive by the foitin' oirish leprechauns and their terrible accents. The lead guy found Peter in "da turd row" last week, and now is pissed that he couldn't find his treasure in the carton. (Presumably he was looking for his pink hearts, yellow moons, blue diamonds, and purple horseshoes.) I'm dying to find out what's in the box that the guy threatened to throw in the fire...

Loved the scene of Angela screaming for Matt to get out of her head.

The Haitian was back (I'm not sure if they thought we were supposed to be surprised to see him in Port-au-Prince, but I was assuming that's who they meant), and I love that he and HRG are reunited.

Overall, a strong episode. Thoughts?

What’s on My PVR – Part 1
I’ve been trying to catch up on all of the new fall shows on my PVR, slowly but surely. If I can get through the first week of shows before too many more eps air, I’ll know what new shows to cut out of my schedule. I haven’t made it all the way through, and several more are beginning next week, but here’s what I think so far.

Returning shows:

The Office
I was SO happy to have The Office back!!! It was a bit of a slow start to the season; they said it was an hour-long show but it was clearly two half hours stuck together. I loved so many things about it – Jim saying that Michael had hit a speed bump on the highway once and then looking off in the distance, “I wonder who he ran over that day.” Michael “carbing up” on fettuccine alfredo. The pictures of Sprinkles that Angela was showing – that one of the mangy cat with a lot of its hair missing was hilarious… I felt bad for laughing, but it was hilarious. And her description to Dwight of the process of giving Sprinkles her meds, and his face, was awesome. BUT… what Dwight ultimately did was too heinous to be funny. I was surprised the show had sunk this low. I love cats, and have two of them, and of course I can laugh about certain things (like the pics of the mangy cat). But the suggestion that a cat would be stuck in a pitch-black freezer, terrified and clawing its way through the frozen foods while vomiting up medicine and eventually succumbing to hypothermia… I’m not a prude, but there’s nothing about that that I find funny. So I was sad that they went there for a couple of laughs. But that aside, it was great to have one of my favourite shows back.

Ugly Betty
A great season premiere. I thought Hilda’s fiancé had died in the finale, so I was shocked to see him alive but bruised in this episode. I thought, “Huh… I guess they just didn’t want to go that dark on the show. Maybe it was a good call.” And then at the end when Betty comes in the room and Hilda’s simply holding a pillow; it actually put a lump in my throat, as soapy as it was, and I thought it was well handled. The thought of Justin interning at Mode has endless possibilities. Amanda’s largeness was over-the-top and fake, but that’s the show. I actually like the dad being away in Mexico, and am intrigued by the thought that Alexis doesn’t know she’s Alexis anymore, and what will happen there. Definitely a good way to come back.

America’s Next Top Model:
Week 2: Well, they’ve succeeded in making the woman with Asperger’s look more like she has Asperger’s, but for god’s sakes, if I heard one more thing in that episode about how “Heather is SO anti-social”… if they’re looking to show how people with Asperger’s can make it in this world, they’re doing a pretty lousy job. The anti-smoking campaign was without a doubt the LOWEST this show has ever sunk. I thought it was tasteless and disgusting. Making up the models with big chunks of hair missing? Half their face gone from a “burn”? Holding dead babies? Wow… subtle. How ridiculous. I’m sure non-smokers who have lost babies or who have lost hair in chemo treatments for other cancers thought that was totally classy and sensitive. I was so ashamed of this episode; let’s hope the season improves.

New shows:

Kitchen Nightmares:

Week 2: Loved it. It was so much better than week one! This time I went into it knowing it would be Foxified, that Ramsay would “make things happen” rather than making the restauranteur make those things happen, and that there would be no return to the set 6 weeks later. And so my disappointment level was significantly decreased. There was no loser brother running the restaurant and threatening every passerby who looked at him the wrong way, and instead the show actually felt more realistic, more like the British version, with the managers of the Indian restaurant just looking baffled and confused, rather than looking like actors. The makeover of the restaurant was a bit of a cheat (and I highly doubt that they did all of that in one night… come ON), and I think the visit to Ramsay’s impeccable kitchen was grandstanding (and I don’t believe he has the fridges cleaned twice a day… nice try, Gordon), but otherwise it was a lot of fun. Anyone know if this is the guy who is suing Gordon for losing his job?

Gossip Girl:
Week 2: This is my new guilty pleasure. I don’t know why, but I totally love this show. My husband won’t watch it, which means I’m sure to watch it quickly every week because I don’t have to wait for him to watch with me. :)

Bionic Woman:
Premise: A woman is almost killed in a car accident, and her boyfriend is a surgeon who works with genetic engineering and rebuilds her body into a bionic thing (one eye, one arm, both legs, ears, etc.) When the organization who supplied the body parts sees what he’s done, they want to recruit her. She’s angry at him for what he’s done, and hates the organization and refuses to work with them.
What I Liked: Michelle Ryan was great. Katee Sackhoff makes an awesome villain, and I hope she’s around a lot. The special effects were pretty cool, and I especially liked the dark element of Jamie waging war with the organization.
What I Didn’t Like: The show felt a little cobbled together, but that could have been because they released so much video early on with Jamie and her deaf sister, and now her sister is completely different. I also thought the person in charge of music made a huge mistake in using “Breathe Me” in a pivotal scene of Jamie coming home and realizing her life will never be the same. You don’t use a song that was used in the last five minutes of Six Feet Under in one of the most memorable and iconic scenes EVER, and then expect us to remove it from that. I pictured Claire driving along the road the entire time the song was playing.
People from my other shows: Zoe from EastEnders, Starbuck and Chief from BSG.
Verdict: I liked it, and think it has potential to be a lot better, so I’m looking forward to next week.

Life:
Premise: A cop is put into prison from 1995-2007 for a crime he didn’t commit, and despite claiming innocence, no one believes him. Wife files for divorce by sending him papers in the mail, his workplace lets him down, and he’s seen as a murderer. When new evidence shows he couldn’t have done it, he’s released with a massive settlement, and back on the force, a different man.
What I Liked: The final few minutes, where you find out he’s still trying to figure out who really DID commit the crime he was charged with, was pretty cool. The premise is intriguing and unique, and the acting is really good.
What I Didn’t Like: The guy seems a little too House-like for me. Eccentric professional, doing weird things but always right in the end, putting his co-workers at risk and forcing them to put their faith in him while they doubt him all the time… I started expecting him to pop Vicodin and walk with a limp. It was too close. Some of it seems forced.
People from my other shows: Calamity Jane from Deadwood
Verdict: I think I’ll watch it for another week; this wasn’t one I had in my PVR originally, but my husband wanted to watch it. I think he’s more intrigued by it than I am.

Cane
Premise: A Cuban-American family who runs a sugar cane empire is propositioned by another family, who wants to buy it from them for a substantial amount of money. When the adopted son tells his father not to sell to them, that they actually killed the patriarch’s youngest daughter, the father divides the empire, with his three natural children getting 30% each, and the adopted son getting 10%. Because adopted son is married to the one sister (ew), he now owns 40%, and is the owner, causing tension.
What I liked: The King Lear with boys element was interesting, and I LOOOOOVE Jimmy Smits (the adopted son). Love him. He’s as good in this as he was in anything else I’ve ever seen him in. The story is interesting, and felt more like a film or a book. Awesome cast.
What I didn’t like: Smits’ son is telling his girlfriend that his dad was adopted into the family, raised as one of their own, and then married his sister, to which the girlfriend says, “Aw, that’s so romantic!” Um… I think I have another word for it.
People from my other shows: Beecher from Oz and Atia of the Julii play the Samuels; Richard Alpert from Lost is the angry brother.
Verdict: I really enjoyed it, and hope it sticks around.

Journeyman
Premise: A happily married man discovers he’s somehow jumping through time to other times, while the present time continues, so if he’s gone for a day, a day is missing in the present. He’s moving through time to stop certain events from happening, but what separates this from Quantum Leap is that in the past, his major love is still alive, and he’s tempted to be with her, while in the present he’s happily married with a son, causing emotional torment.
What I Liked: I loved this show. The performances are top-notch, the twists and turns were surprising (especially the relationship between Dan’s wife and brother). The last few minutes were breathtaking (I gasped) and where I thought one premise of the show would be his wife always doubting him, the ending of it changed all of that.
What I Didn’t Like: I can’t really think of anything off-hand that I didn’t like, other than I wish Kevin McKidd had been allowed to use the British accent.
People from my other shows: Lucius Vorenus from Rome, causing one of my friends to call this show Vorenus P.I., which is what my hubby and I now call it
Verdict: Absolutely adore this show; my fave of the new season.

Dirty Sexy Money
Premise: The son of a lawyer who became rich handling the money of the super-rich family, The Darlings, dies, and the son, who had been pushed aside his entire life while his father attended to every need of the Darlings, vows he’s finally rid of them forever. Until they offer him millions of dollars every year to take his father’s position, and suddenly he’s yanked back in, in the way he never believed he would be.
What I liked: The show is like an adult version of Gossip Girl, showing us what happens to the rich kids from that show when they’re older, and people marry them or are interested in them only for their money. I liked the craziness of the characters, and the zaniness of the show, even if a lot of it was over-the-top.
What I didn’t like: Some was a little caricaturish… there’s a Paris Hilton character in the youngest daughter, and the youngest son seems to be based on Brandon Davis (a.k.a. the guy who coined the term “firecrotch”). But that said, I actually like the caricature. I wish the people who did music for these shows would learn to change it up a bit. I’ve now heard “Young Folks” by Peter, Bjorn and John in both this show and Gossip Girl… does it represent rich people or something?
People from my shows: Nathaniel from Six Feet Under.
Verdict: Love it. I’m sucked in by this one the same way I am Gossip Girl.

Coming up: Dexter, Moonlight, Aliens in America, Pushing Daisies, 30 Rock, Reaper, Friday Night Lights, The Tudors
**If leaving comments, please don't comment on a show I haven't yet watched (which is listed here) because I don't want anything spoiled. Thanks! :)

Heroes: Four Months Later
I sat and watched Heroes today with my 2-day-old son (he loved it, I'm sure, even if he slept through half of it) and I thought it was an awesome return to the show, especially since we left on such a crappy note back in May. It felt like I was watching a movie, with almost no commercials, a trailer to open the season (hello, Sylar!), and the Mohinder voiceover.

Questions:
-How did Nathan survive the blast? When he looked in the mirror, was that his real face looking back at us and he's somehow covering it, or was that how Peter looked when he last saw him, and it's haunting him? (maybe he didn't know Peter could heal?)
-Why did Parkman's wife leave him?
-Who killed Hiro's dad? I thought it was Peter at first, but then he was in the box.
-What is Maya's power/curse? Does she shoot bullets or cause people to die spontaneously?
-How lucid is Claire's mom? Does she remember everything or is she still kind of loopy? (The way she talks to Mr. Muggles, maybe she's always loopy and it has nothing to do with what hubby did to her.)
-Who sent the pics to Hiro's dad and Granny Petrelli?
-What is the significance of the eclipse at the beginning of the season?
-How did the guy in Claire's class know she was one of them? Does he work for The Company?
-Is Molly getting images of Sylar or someone else when she's drawing those things?
-Who created the myth of Takezo Kensei? Was it Kensei himself much later? Or perhaps Hiro (literally rewriting history??)
-Noah's loser manager has a giant scar across his forehead; was he attacked by Sylar?
-what role will the swordsmith's daughter eventually play in all of this?
-how did Peter end up in a crate in Ireland with 3 guys with terrible phony Irish accents? Why can't he remember anything?

Interesting:
-According to Hiro's dad, Linderman really is dead, so that solves that one (I think).
-Nikessica wasn't in the episode, which made it doubly awesome.

Introducing...

Liam Mackenzie! Born in the wee hours of the morning of Sunday, Saturday 23, Liam arrived amidst talk of Big Love (when my husband was shovelling ice chips into my mouth I said it was like Barbara on Big Love who eats ice chips whenever stressed out), Friday Night Lights (my husband kept yelling, "Clear eyes! Full hearts!" and I'd say "Can't lose!" for about the first half of labour, and then it just wasn't funny anymore...), and ultimately, Lost (my doula's first reaction to him being born the morning of the 23rd was, "That's one of Hurley's numbers!") He'll be a true TV baby. He's a sweet boy, and even though Mommy still hasn't been able to watch Heroes, I know he'll let me do so soon.

Heroes: Four Months Later
No time to post (holding the newborn as I type this) but what did you think of the new ep?

Fall 2007 Continued...
I'm continuing to watch a few of the new shows, though next week will be the true test of what this season will bring (I think I have 19 things lined up in my PVR). So far, disappointed with Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, but will probably continue to tune in; loving having my ANTM back, despite the fact I think they're exploiting the medical condition of one character worse than they have before.

Now onto the dramas. The first new one I watched (okay... sorta watched) was K-Ville. It had an interesting premise -- cops in New Orleans post-Katrina having to deal with the extraordinary crime and the fact that very few cops want to come down and help them. It stars Anthony Anderson, who I LOVE LOVE LOVE on The Shield, but therein lies my problem. After only about 10 minutes of it, my husband said to me, "You know, The Wire and The Shield have pretty much spoiled me for cop shows" and I had JUST been thinking the same thing. When you've seen gritty, violent, disturbing, and brilliantly written shows like those two, anything from a regular network cop show is going to disappoint. This show was no exception. It had the cliches, the big "tearjerker" scene where both Anderson and his wife are crying over the fact she cannot live in the Big Easy anymore and he doesn't want to leave, a bloody murder in the middle of the day of someone who happens to be a friend of Anderson's, etc. And it was SO predictable that after half an hour, we turned it off, I deleted it, and removed the timer from the PVR. Bye, K-Ville.

Next up was Gossip Girl from the CW. I'd already gotten a review of it from a friend of mine who watches a lot of the same TV as I do, so I went into it skeptical but hopeful, which was pretty much her summation of it. And I felt the same way about it that she did. After about half an hour I was thinking, "Why do I care about these pretentious, shallow, rich, privileged kids who are so boring I'm falling asleep here?" But I didn't turn it off. And by the end of the show, I was actually looking forward to next week's episode. This is trashy soapy television, no doubt about it, with uneventful dialogue, stereotypical characters (including a dad who was in a 90s band and namedrops NIN and Trent Reznor), lots of love triangles, and kids who are so rude and selfish you want them all to fall into the Manhattan River. Yet I cannot look away. It's fun, thoughtless television. If you're looking for something to amuse yourself while you wash the dishes or want to veg out on the couch, this is it. It's great having Kristen Bell's voice on there (she's the voice of "gossip girl," the anonymous girl who runs a website about Manhattan socialites that has all the latest gossip and questions and secrets of these people, so the big mystery of the show will be who is gossip girl?)

So that's it for now, but next week I have Chuck, Journeyman, Reaper, Dirty Sexy Money, Cane, Bionic Woman, and the Ken Burns documentary The War, along with some others I'm sure I'm just forgetting. Nothing knocking my socks off yet, which makes me more excited to see Journeyman and Bionic Woman, which may be the only 2 I continue to watch beyond this first month. And of course the return of Heroes and The Office has me super-excited.

Maybe I'm a little jaded after having finished up watching Friday Night Lights' first season, which was phenomenal. The following contains no spoilers, so if you haven't watched it yet, please read on so I can try to convince you to. It's NOT a show about football. Football is in the background, just like ER does not require you to know how to intubate someone if you want to watch it. But football becomes a metaphor for so much going on in the show. The centre of the show is the Taylor family. Coach Taylor (played by the incredible Kyle Chandler, who pulls off this super-tough, crochety coach on the field but a gentle, quiet person who is extremely devoted to his family off) has just been brought to Dillon, Texas, to coach the high school team, The Dillon Panthers. The town's been through a lot, and economically is going through a rough patch. All they have is football. All they have is this team. The players on the team all have giant signs on their front lawns with their names, positions, and numbers, and as such they command respect, and you can imagine the townspeople genuflecting as they drive by the houses sporting these signs. Tami Taylor, played by the equally incredible Connie Britton (she is SO subtle in this role, yet is riveting every time she's on screen), is his wife, who has an amazing sense of humour and with whom everyone falls in love when they meet her. When she gets a job working inside the school, her character really takes off and we see what she's made of. Their daughter Julie is dealing with being the new kid, and having the eye of the quarterback on her.

The often loathsome, larger-than-life Buddy Garrity is the guy with the money, the biggest businessman in town (he owns a car dealership) and the main sponsor of the Dillon Panthers. Taylor quickly realizes that he will have to deal with Buddy every week showing up on the field, offering tips and suggestions (and sometimes threats) and that he can't kick him off. The power struggle between these two is one of the best things to watch in the season. His daughter Lyla Garrity is the head cheerleader.

Lyla is dating Jason Street (#6 in the picture), and he is THE best quarterback in the nation, and the one who will take him to state... until he doesn't. The first episode is closely based on the book and the movie, and if you've read or seen either, you know what'll happen to him. The characters on the team are all fleshed out: Besides Jason, you've got Smash Williams (#20 on the right), the loudmouth running back. His mom, who I mentioned in a previous post, has her hands full with this one, but he's a great character. Matt Saracen (second from right) is the quiet, nervous, jittery quarterback who has to step in when Jason Street is no longer around, and he's ill-equipped for the role at first. The season is filled with watching him slowly improve, while trying to come out of his shell. Hi father is fighting in Iraq, and he lives with his grandmother, who suffers from dimentia and is a full-time job for a kid who also has football and school to deal with. When he develops a crush on Julie, the coach's daughter, whom the coach protects like a fierce bear, the result is sweet, hilarious, and sad all at once. Tim Riggins (#33) is the show's hottie, the running back bad boy who has an alcohol problem, and is widely considered the guy most likely to burn out and be pumping gas in five years. But he has a big heart, and by the end of the season, we see what he's capable of.

The side characters provide just as much enjoyment as the main ones. My favourite is Landry, Matt Saracen's best friend. The best comparison I can make of the actor is to Matt Damon. (He looks so much like him I actually googled him to see if they were related; they're not, but he played the younger version of Damon in a film, which is no surprise.) Every time the show would cut to a scene with him and Saracen, my husband and I would be laughing before he'd even open his mouth. He provides the comic relief for most of the season, and there's no way to describe the way the actor pulls it off. His very matter-of-fact way of talking, his ego, and his wild imagination make every scene with him an absolute joy. It's such a shame that none of these actors were noticed at the Emmys, but no shock.

The show looks at family problems, poverty vs. wealth, teen alcoholism, racism, the burdens on the shoulders of most teens, the burdens on the shoulders of the parents of the teens, paralysis, uncertain futures, mob mentality, all couched in a show that appears on the surface to be about football. One thing we'd noticed by the end of the season was that the show loves to dodge your expectations: it's like that scene where Spike is standing in the cemetery making his big speech, "I'm gonna get you Slayer, you and your little friends better watch your backs because the Big Bad is back, and..." and then he trips and falls into an open grave, from which you hear him utter, "Ow." The same thing happens over and over here, though not played for laughs the way that one was. A character gives a big speech that should sweep another one off their feet, and the other one just looks at them, music stops, and they say, "Are you done?" and the speech doesn't have the desired effect. We think we're about to watch a "very special episode" about teen sex or something, and it turns out to be the complete opposite.

We started watching this show on September 9, and only watched it in the evenings after the toddler went to bed, and we managed to finish it by September 20. I urge everyone reading this to get your hands on the DVD and start watching, and you'll be finished by October 5, when the new season begins. This show is phenomenal, and ranks right up there with Heroes and The Office as the show I cannot wait to see in a couple of weeks.

And that's it for me for a while. My doctor has decided to induce me tomorrow morning, so I'll probably be missing from this blog for a little bit. (I will be home in time for the Heroes premiere on Monday, though... girl's gotta have priorities.) I'm hoping to do something small, even if it's just the title of the episode, and "Liked it" so that you could leave comments, because that was always my favourite part of the TV season -- reading what others had to say. Wish me luck, and happy TV viewing! (Get Friday Night Lights.)

Fall 2007: The Reality Shows
"Kayfabe" (pronounced exactly how it looks) is a term in pro wrestling that denotes the silence surrounding the fakeness of it all. When wrestlers insist that everything is real, they are using kayfabe, but the moment they admit that yeah, it's staged and the fights are scripted, they are breaking kayfabe. A few years ago, the WWF (now WWE) had to admit that the show was not a sport, but entertainment, and now it's well known that the fights are scripted, that the writers are just as important as the fighters, and despite the fact these men really DO go through hell in the ring and undergo some serious injuries, the soap opera surrounding the actual fights is all staged for the audience's immense enjoyment.

Well, it seems like reality shows have gone the way of pro wrestling, because where before they at least tried to make it look real, now they've given up and have decided to let us watch it to pick out everything that was made up, exaggerated, edited, or scripted for our pleasure.

America's Next Top Model: Cycle 9
The new season of ANTM started last night, and let me preface this by saying I still love and adore this show. Tyra is an egomaniac, and god I love her for it. It's why Canada's Next Top Model didn't work for me -- Jay is a sweetheart, and he's just far too sweet and not making every moment of the show about him. Tyra is unabashed in her me-ness, and that's what makes the show so much fun.

The first episode followed the same old routines of all the premieres -- Miss J shows up and mumbles something that makes absolutely no sense before sashaying the 33 potentials into their waiting area (though the Caribbean cruise was totally new... is it me or does the thought of a cruise send anyone else into shivers? You couldn't pay me enough to go on one of those things; I'd feel trapped on a giant glitzy trash yacht for the entire week... :::shudder:::) Then the auditions begin and some model tells her very tragic story of a bad upbringing, and the music goes from fun and silly to serious, like during those pretentious wankathons that happen throughout the PGA Masters tournament where the announcer talks of the "majestic rolling greens" and "beautiful foliage" while the music swells and we get closeups of orchids (yes, my husband's a golf addict and every April I'm subjected to this tournament). Tyra becomes pushy, "Oh, you were molested by an uncle and thrown out onto the street and forced to eat garbage? Please tell us EVERYTHING about that..." Because... why? Because it'll somehow help their chances of making it to the top 13? While I found Mila rather annoying, they edited her scene so she comes in right after the girl who's bounced from foster home to foster home and encountered all sorts of tragedy in her life, and then you've got happy little Mila practically singing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" on the table and talking about the sheer awesomeness of life. I could just picture the little Disney cartoon animals superimposed around her as she danced through the fields. There was nothing wrong with her saying she'd had a happy life, but when put right after the other woman, it made her come off as trite, naive, and stupid.

But the most obvious gimmick of this season was Heather. In she came, with all the grace of a Clydesdale, with the posture of an 80-year-old woman suffering from osteoporosis and her head bobbing around and her feet unsure of where to go. She wasn't particularly beautiful or model-like, and she didn't stand out in the audition. But then (cue the soft piano music, violins, and closeups of orchids), she announces she has Asperger's. Now, here's where I'm hoping someone can post a comment and help me out here, because I will not profess to know a lot about Asperger's. Most of what I know I got from the novel, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, about a boy who is a high-functioning victim of Asperger's disease. By high-functioning the author means he can go to a regular school, but has to take special classes. He sees the world around him as black and white. He's obsessive about what colour of food he'll eat. He doesn't have any emotion and rarely shows any feelings other than fear in the book (and even then, he doesn't seem to understand that situations are fearful, so rarely shows fear). I don't know how accurate a depiction this is of Asperger's, but Heather didn't seem to be like that. She looked the panel in the eye, she laughed at the jokes, she fit in with the other girls. I would have thought she'd be in the corner, unwilling to eat the food, confused because her daily routine had been interrupted, and unsure of how to interact with the girls. I did a quick check online and it said one of the symptoms of Asperger's is clumsiness, and she definitely had that. It says people who have the condition become obsessed with tiny details, and usually details of details (so if she's obsessed with clothes, for example, she might only be obsessed about buttons on clothes and how buttons are all different). They find it very difficult to interact. They revert to childlike behaviour in times of worry.

Does Heather really have Asperger's? I would think the show would come under severe scrutiny and criticism -- especially among parents of children with the condition -- if she didn't, but it also seems to me that she made it to the final 13 only because she has this condition. The preview for next week showed her sitting alone in a chair holding a stuffed monkey, so either she really has it and the show is going to exploit it, or she's acting. Either way, it's sad. If anyone knows more about Asperger's and could weigh in on the comments board (who actually saw the episode), I would really appreciate it.

Of the ones who have made it through, I like Janet (I always like the ones with the short cute hair), Saleisha, and Chantal. But that'll change by next week, I'm sure. (Did anyone notice one of them was named Spontaniouse? O...kay.)

Kitchen Nightmares
Where the American version of Top Model is still the best of all the international versions, the same cannot be said for Gordon Ramsay's new show on Fox, Kitchen Nightmares. As I've mentioned several times in this blog, the BBC show Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares is top-notch. The Gordon Ramsay character (for that is what it is) that has been created for Hell's Kitchen is not the real Gordon Ramsay. Sure, he peppers every sentence with the f-word and is a hothead, and believes that food is important and you need to respect your chefs, but he cares. And that caring side of him only comes out in the final two or three episodes of Hell's Kitchen. On the BBC reality series, Ramsay visits restaurants that are about to go under, and teaches them how to read their local audience (often taking them out into the town with their food so the locals can try it), how to pare down their menus from 75 items to 15 to avoid craziness in the kitchen, how to improve staffing, how to cook simpler fare, and how to make this restaurant work within their means. So when I heard that Fox was going to do their version, my first instinct was, "Oh god, don't ruin this."

If you watched last night's sideshow masquerading as the BBC series, and hadn't actually seen the BBC series, you might have thought that it really was as good as the British version. Gordon is definitely toned down, not screaming defiantly at people. He's trying to listen, and trying to help. But the way Fox handled it -- and what they chose to focus on -- took this subtle show that taught me a great deal about the horror of the restaurant business, and what these people have to go through to stay afloat, and turned it into a circus. First, the place was called Peter's Italian Restaurant. After Peter, the only son of Yogi, the Italian papa whose family runs the place. Peter is a dick (he's the big guy pictured second from the left) with a violent temper, no work ethic, and who believes he's some sort of privileged boy whose sister should do all the work while he sits at a table all night snapping his fingers for another espresso. The ovens don't work, the food is rotten, the sister's about to have a breakdown, the chef is a hothead (who looks remarkably like Don Francks' character in La Femme Nikita), and no one has any respect for the brother. While the restaurant is bleeding money, Petey is pulling money out of the till each night to pay for his tanning sessions, gold watches, sports cars, pedicures, and teeth whitening ($1000 a visit, he boasts).

What Fox has done with this story is taken the emphasis off the actual food industry, and put it onto a character. A stereotypical character of the egotistical Italian-American male. On the British version, there are usually numerous reasons why the restaurant ain't workin', but here, it's Peter. And only Peter. Peter won't kick out money for new stoves because his teeth are more important to him. Peter gives out free meals to his customers that he knows (which are most of them), takes money out of the till, and serves himself drinks all night. The food is late to the tables because when the plates are up in the back, Peter goes into the back and steals them to eat them himself, forcing the chef to cook another one. There are bill collectors hounding them, and instead of being a proper businessman Peter goes all Tony Soprano and threatens to break their f**kin' kneecaps.

And then there's the editing. It opens with most of the highlights of the show you're about to see, and every time we go to a commercial those highlights are repeated again and again. By the time Peter actually goes out into the middle of the street screaming and swearing at a "bill collector" (read: paid actor whom Fox planted to walk in at that very moment and told Peter to act accordingly), we've already seen the scene played out five times and it's not surprising at all.

And then there's that DAMN VOICEOVER from Hell's Kitchen. Ramsay tries the food, checks out the place, and decides to sit down with the family to find out what their take on it is. Voiceover: "Now that Ramsay has had a chance to look over the flaws in Peter's Italian Restaurant, it's time to sit down with the family and take stock of why THEY think it's going downhill." Really? Is that what he's doing? Well, thank you for summarizing the last five minutes of the show for me, dear voiceover, because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to keep up. And that MUSIC. In the BBC version, there is no music. It's silent. When Gordon looks at the chef and asks him point blank why he couldn't cook his way out of a paper bag, and the young chef looks at the ground and begins shuffling back and forth, the camera simply holds the scene, silently, no music, and we're feeling as awkward as the chef. Not so here... there are crazy cuts, wild music, and that stupid Hell's Kitchen string section that drove me nuts on that show.

The show is full of inconsistencies: At the beginning of each day they flash "DAY FOUR" to let us know where things are at (the BBC version assumes we can keep up and count to 4, and they don't remind us of what day we're on) and Peter is wearing a black shirt. Ramsay takes him into the kitchen and they argue over something and suddenly in one cut, Peter's wearing the white shirt from day 2. The entire show jumps around like that, like the editors were on crack.

But all of these criticisms pale in comparison to my two biggest problems with this version. First of all, the family is in dire need of new appliances in the kitchen. In the BBC version, he'd sit down with their budget and explain how a new stove now would give them a lot of money later on, and they budget it out and the show stops just short of showing us how they get a loan for it. But in the Fox version? These stupid people who make stupid decisions and couldn't run a restaurant if they tried suddenly walk in one morning and Ramsay's all, "Surprise!!!" and takes them into the back to show them their new $40,000 kitchen. It's like Extreme Makeover: Restrint Edition. I was SO disappointed. The BBC version shows us the realities of running a restaurant, and what sacrifices you'll have to make if you want it to work. The Fox version pretends there's a lottery ticket around every corner, and gives them the easy way out.

And my second -- and biggest -- criticism of the show is it ends on day 7. Peter has been a loser for 20 years, and suddenly on day 6 Ramsay gives him this giant speech about how HE is the problem (the scene is worth the entire show, just to watch the chef's face all agape throughout it) and Peter looks all offended, but by day 7 is all, "Yeah, he's right, I'm a total dick. I will now change." And poof... he's changed. The service goes splendidly, he's totally helpful, he doesn't complain or snap his fingers to get his espressos, etc. and all seems well. AND THEN THE SHOW ENDS. You might be wondering why I would criticize that, except the BEST part of the BBC version is that it ALWAYS looks like it's going well on day 7, and then Ramsay shows up unexpectedly 6 weeks later, and often that overnight catharsis that the owner had had at the end of the seventh day is long gone, he's pissing away their money again, the chef has quit in disgust, the restaurant is boarded up, the locals have torched it, or whatever. Other times he comes back and they're still implementing Gordon's ideas and have turned the restaurant into a blazing success. But it's the return visit that is the true test of Gordon's ideas and whether or not the restaurant will succeed.

Will I watch it again? Of course I will... I watched Hell's Kitchen right to the end even though I wanted to put a fork in my eye for a lot of it, because I'm intrigued by Ramsay. And maybe Fox will get a lot of criticism from TV writers who've seen the BBC version and know they're massacring it, and will actually do the return visit. And at the end of the day, it's still better than a lot of reality shows. But I'm truly disappointed. The BBC version usually only lasts six episodes and then I have to wait over a year between seasons, and I thought this would be the perfect filler. But it's not. It's broken kayfabe, and declared that all of these shows are scripted and contrived, whereas even if the BBC one were, it's doing a damn good job of hiding it.

My New Fave TV Character
So, as I've been reporting, I'm gunning through Friday Night Lights' first season on DVD, hoping to finish it before the season 2 premiere at the beginning of October. I've decided as of last night's episode that my new fave person on television is Liz Mikel, who plays Smash Williams' mother on the show. She is SO amazing, I'm on the edge of my seat whenever she's on screen. From the first time she burst into the house when Smash was doin' the nasty with one of his teammates' girlfriends on the couch and his mom walked that girl back outside and told her she works at Planned Parenthood and assumes this isn't the last she'll see of the girl, to when she storms into the coach's office after discovering something in her son's room (I'm trying to stay as vague as possible because I really want everyone to be watching this show and I don't want to spoil it) this woman is larger than life, confident, and will do ANYTHING to protect her children. Even if it means kicking them out of the house until they grow up enough to respect her and be allowed back in. She's amazing.



This made me laugh out loud. Of course, it is the UK Sun that is "reporting" it, so it could be complete fantasy (for someone who is as pop-culture savvy as Tarantino, I find it hard to believe he's never heard of Heroes), but it's still pretty funny.



K-Ville premiered last night, and I haven't had a chance to watch it yet, but the ratings were strong, according to Variety. However, as they report in the article, it'll be interesting to see what happens next week when it's up against Heroes and isn't the only new show on TV. It was pretty smart to jump the gun by a week, since EVERYTHING seems to be starting up again next week.



I finally got out to see Stardust on the weekend, and I loved it. See this movie if you've never read a Neil Gaiman book, and maybe you'll become a convert. It's typical of his stories -- on the surface it seems to be a typical fairy tale, but then it takes completely bizarre twists and is absolutely hilarious. I read the book years ago, and now I want to reread it. Everyone is excellent in it. Apparently Sarah Michelle Gellar was offered the part that Claire Danes got, and turned it down because she thought it would keep her apart from Freddie for too long. I think she made a mistake. Ricky Gervais is hilarious in his short role. While he comes off as David Brent in a funny hat, but I don't care; I love him, and no one does the crazy stutter the way he does. He is perfect in the part.


And finally, I know I've talked about this on here before, and I don't want to keep going on about it, but I really do believe there needs to be proper education out there on the subject. So to repeat what I've said before, breastfeeding is NOT wrong. Breastfeeding in public is NOT wrong. I think women can be -- and most ARE, despite what the detractors say -- discreet, and they cover up. But for those who for some ungodly reason are offended by it, just the suggestion that there might be a baby suckling at a breast completely hidden underneath a cloth wrap is enough to send those people into a tizzy.

The latest controversy involving breastfeeding has happened over on the social networking site, Facebook. According to the Toronto Star, when a woman posted a photo of herself breastfeeding, she discovered the photo had been deleted (her breasts were not even pictured, it was a photo of her sons with absolutely no skin from her breast present at all). She emailed them simply to ask why the photo had been taken down, and because she dared to do so, her account was shut down. She was sent an email saying the photo contained "obscene" content. I've seen photos on Facebook of 16-year-old kids completely hammered at a keg party licking the face of someone else, and that's appropriate because their nipples aren't hanging out (though everything else is), but a woman feeding her child is obscene. O...kay.

Now a Facebook group has popped up that is growing by 1,000 members a day, who are posting photos of themselves breastfeeding (and of all of them, I have yet to see one that was "obscene") and trying to change the rules on Facebook. I wish them all the best. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- you don't want to eat in a bathroom stall, and neither does a baby, so if you're sitting in a restaurant and you see a mother breastfeeding her child, just look away if it bothers you. You wouldn't be staring at her otherwise, so why stare at her because she's feeding a baby? Most woman will turn into a corner to latch the child on so their nipples don't offend anyone, but once that baby is on there, the nipple is hidden, and if you can see the rest of the breast minus the nipple, how is that any different than a woman wearing a low-cut top?

I saw a video of Bill Maher talking about breastfeeding that so enraged me, I won't even post it here because I don't want other people to watch this drivel. But in it, he said that women who breastfeed in public are "too lazy to either plan ahead or cover up." And I quote. Because as we all know, if only that woman had planned ahead and fed her child BEFORE going out, no child needs to be breastfed more than three times a day (all that stuff about every 90 minutes to 2 hours is utter bull, isn't it, Bill?). He then goes on to say that breastfeeders are narcissists who want the world to stare at them because they had gone and made a baby. And I'm sure everyone reading this would agree with me that whenever they've seen a woman breastfeeding in public, the woman first gets up on the restaurant table, screams for attention, pulls off her top and latches the kid on, leaving the other breast hanging out.

I would assume this man has never been married, and has certainly never had children. I love when people speak from experience. Every time I hear Bill Maher speak, I think he's an even slimier weasel than the time before.

When will people just leave breastfeeding women alone? Has it ever occurred to these naysayers that maybe breastfeeding ISN'T the narcissistic sport they've made it out to be? I remember agonizing over it with my first. I'd go out and always push my daughter beyond her limit, hoping I could get her home. And in the few times I did have to do it -- in a restaurant, mall, my office, etc. -- I did it as discreetly as possible, while covering up completely. I remember doing it in a mall once, and I had my daughter in a sling, went into one of those dark hallways that lead to the washrooms, stood facing a corner, got her latched on, and pulled the sling way up over her so no one could see anything, and then continued to walk around the mall. I saw a couple of people staring and realized that I hadn't pulled the sling all the way down, and about an inch of my tummy was showing. Yet girls were walking by me with most of their middle sections showing off their pierced navels, and no one was pointing. Because there was no suggestion that maybe, just maybe, they were doing something "obscene" with their breasts at that very moment.

What would you rather have in a restaurant: a woman breastfeeding her child in the booth next to you, or that same child screaming and howling like an alien because they are starving and their mother is too scared to breastfeed them for fear that asshats like Bill Maher just might be looking on?

A Realistic TV Schedule

I've seen this before, but it still kills me. The Fox entry is the best. :)

YAY, TERRY O'QUINN!!
Okay, I hate the Emmys, y'all know that, but I get sucked in like every other TV viewer, still hoping against hope that someone I like from a show I watch might actually win an award. I didn't actually watch the Emmys until the very very end, so I missed most of them, and only found out about the highlights in the paper this morning (or while googling last night while my husband watched The Usual Suspects on MPIX for the tenth time... actually the much better viewing choice). So imagine my surprise to find out that Locke had actually won the Emmy! (And is it just me, or does it look like a price tag is stuck to the bottom of his award in this pic?) And of course, I'm still going to complain -- I wish Michael Emerson had won, because this was his year -- but that said, just think of O'Quinn's performance at the end of "The Man from Tallahassee," where in the flashback we see him get plopped into that wheelchair for the first time and he sees the rest of his life in those four wheels and breaks down, and you know this man deserves an award.

I love Entourage, I love Jeremy Piven, I adore Ari, but I wish Rainn Wilson had taken it.

James Spader over James Gandolfini? Does ANYONE watch Boston Legal? Anyone?? (How sucky that they both have the same first name; I said to my husband, I bet Gandolfini was almost getting out of his chair until the person said, "Spader.") And what happened to James Spader?? He used to be SO hot. Now he's puffy and looks like he's been having donut-eating competitions with Shatner. Yikes.

30 Rock winning best comedy! I was rooting for The Office, but considering they were rock bottom in the ratings last year, I hope this helps. Then again, it didn't help Arrested Development, but we can still dream. I love 30 Rock.

The Sopranos won best drama over Heroes, and it comes as no surprise. But I think it was actually the right choice, too. Over all those other shows, The Sopranos changed the face of television and what we watch, how we watch it, etc. It's caused shows like 24 and Lost to experiment with January to May uninterrupted runs. It's allowed more profanity, violence, and nudity into prime-time shows (and I don't mean that as a bad thing). It's improved the soundtracks of most dramas. But most of all, it's shown us that television writing can be as compelling, daring, and groundbreaking as film writing. It deserved that award more than any show in the past year (with the exception of The Wire, but I'm not going to go there again... let me repeat: best season of ANY series, EVER).

By most accounts, the highlight was the lyric faceoff between Kanye and Rainn, and I watched it on YouTube and it was hilarious. Kanye West is an immensely talented performer, but a WHINER. He whines that he was robbed at the Grammys. He bitches when he doesn't get an AMA. He declares racism when he's beat out at the VMAs (by Rihanna, no less... uh... what?) But at the end of the day, he can still laugh at himself. So here's a competition that he should absolutely win... and he doesn't. I love it.