What I Learned from the Olympic Opening Ceremonies

I kind of loved the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics. I know it’ll probably have a lot of critics, but it felt younger and less staid than previous Opening Ceremonies. The last Games was in Canada, and I loved those Opening Ceremonies, too, although I’ll admit my face was in my hands at points when the history of Canada involved igloos, Inuit, moose, beavers, and Mounties. God we will NEVER live down those clichés.

So perhaps there were a few Brits who felt the same when they were watching, but for me, if the purpose was to make me watch it and see everything that is in our world right now and trace it back to the Brits and make me wish I could claim to be a part of that nation, it worked. (They left out a lot of nasty bits… you know, imperialism and colonialism and conquering, though they did trot out the redcoats. And the NHS thing flew in the face of the massive cuts that are pending. So, yeah, it was sugar-coated, but name an Opening Ceremonies that shows you the downside of the nation.) It was surreal, quirky, over-the-top insane, touching, weird, and awesome.

And not everyone likes Danny Boyle, but being a younger person with a weird quirky vision, he certainly brought a new take on things to the Games. So here are the things I learned by watching (I watched with my kids, with my son whining the whole time that he just wanted to watch The Octonauts instead — and me saying, “But The Octonauts are actually British, maybe they’ll show them! — and my daughter making remarks the entire time that had me giggling):

Voldemort can be defeated by a spoonful of sugar. My daughter thinks this is the way the series ends now.

England was started in the Victorian era at the base of a hill with a tree on it, that was blessed by Abraham Lincoln, who chose Caliban’s speech from The Tempest to spark the nation. ??

I was trying to explain to my daughter what was happening next, “So… they’re showing that England has these beautiful countrysides, but then industrialism happened where they opened up factories, so they’re showing how all of the factories and industries and businesses in the world basically originated in England, because it has the countryside but it has busy cities, too.” She didn’t see it that way: she thought they were showing that England used to be a beautiful countryside until the Industrial Revolution happened, and then they grazed the fields and cemented over everything and turned it into a shithole.

Rowan Atkinson has still got it. My kids thought he was hilarious, especially when he jumped into the car to race to the finish line. I now have to start showing them episodes of Mr. Bean.

That poor pianist was playing his heart out, and no one noticed him at all.

I love British music. They touched on a lot of the bands I’ve listened to endlessly over the years, and I thought the montage was glorious, though I’m sure there were probably a lot of Brits watching who tired of the Britpop pretty quickly.

That opening sequence along the Thames was amazing. I really hoped there would be a TARDIS in the air, and was searching the skies desperately for it, to no avail. However, did you see the Pink Floyd pig floating near the river? And also, at one point he pulled the camera up so you could see an overhead view of the river, and just as I said to my daughter, “It looks like the opening credits on East–” you could hear the opening synth beats of the EastEnders theme. Brilliant. My daughter loved London Bridge and both kids laughed at the pig floating in the air.

My daughter on the NHS skit: “I wouldn’t want to go to that hospital. The sheets are all glowy and I would NEVER get to sleep.” Hahaha! I had no idea all the proceeds of sales of Peter Pan went to a children’s hospital. Wow. In the children’s lit section (I LOVED that they had a children’s lit section) was there any mention of Winnie the Pooh? I thought that would be an obvious one, but I could see the Queen of Hearts, Captain Hook, and of course Voldemort. If they showcased the villains, did they also mention any heroes besides Mary Poppins?

David Bowie. Not only did we get Aladdin Sane during the musical montage, but when the Great Britain athletes took the field, they played “Heroes.” Lovely. I guess he really is in retirement if he wouldn’t show up to perform there (you just know he was asked to). Sad but happy all at once.

James Bond! That sequence was also hilarious. I had to explain James Bond to my daughter, and I said, “He’s part of the queen’s secret service; basically a spy who goes to other countries in the name of England.” She thought I was talking about a real guy, and that Daniel Craig actually WAS James Bond. So now I had to explain my way out of that one. Note to husband: We need to start showing her the movies.

The queen: Could she have had a more sourpuss look on her face? I love that she agreed to film the bit ahead of time with Bond coming to pick her up, but something tells me Danny Boyle didn’t fill her in on the whole helicopter jump thing, and when she realized that a double had leapt out of a helicopter she was not amused. Or maybe she was actually a little teary-eyed at how lovely the Ceremonies were, and the camera just caught her at a bad time. Hm.

The guy who invented the Internet is a Brit? I honestly didn’t know that. Why wasn’t HE carrying the torch?

Muhammad Ali: It was so touching to see him, but very sad at the same time. I remember him coming out at the 1996 Games to light the cauldron, and how tear-inducing that was at the time. It was great to see him hold the flag for an instant, and you could see his wife imploring him to “Wave, just wave” and trying to get him to, but he didn’t move, and this will probably be his last Olympic Games. I still love that they had him there.

The “Abide with Me” section was gorgeous in its quiet: it was very solemn and handled well without being sensationalist, and I loved the quavering voice of the singer, which was just perfect. I’ve heard that in the US, NBC cut away from this portion to air an interview with Michael Phelps, because after all, who cares about a few people who were killed in the London bombing? Can you imagine if the UK cut away from a tribute to 9/11 victims? Just sayin.

Doctor Who lied: in “Fear Her,” the episode was set a few years in the future when the London 2012 Olympics, and at the very end of the ep, David Tennant’s Doctor grabbed the Olympic torch (which was the one used at the previous games, not the new fancy one they had here) and ran through the streets with it. So where was our fearless Doctor now? I heard that Matt Smith got to carry it a ways in May, which is very cool. And if you listened really hard, there was indeed a TARDIS sound during the Opening Ceremonies, right at the end of “Bohemian Rhapsody”; I KNEW it, but when I yelled, “TARDIS!!!” my kids both laughed and said no, they hadn’t heard anything. I found out afterwards I was right. ;) Here’s proof:

Paul McCartney clearly loves “Hey Jude” over every other song he has ever written. I’m assuming it’s because of the singalong factor, but when he showed up I thought, “Oh please anything but ‘Hey Jude.’” Hey, I love the song, but it’s the one he sings at everything like this. And it goes on for like 10 minutes. Ah well, still love you, Paul.

Oh, David Beckham. Yes, he’s beautiful, but I was a little worried they’d have him be the final torchbearer, and I just didn’t want that. In the end, he didn’t seem to carry the torch at all; he just drove the boat that was carrying the torchbearer.

I was really proud of how the Canadians lit the torch in a new and exciting way, but the Brits officially one-upped that one. Actually, ten-upped it. It was absolutely spectacular. And the fireworks display at the end? WOW. But I couldn’t help but think after seeing the fireworks display, “Thank goodness the Games weren’t in San Diego this year.” (They’ll just never live that one down, will they? Turn down your sound if you follow that link, by the way.)

Congratulations, London! You’ve wowed many of us. Now, on to the Games!