Monday, February 19, 2007

Flashes Before Your Eyes:
Deleted Scene 2


CHARLIE and HURLEY are going through Sawyer’s things.

CHARLIE: He would want us to do this.

HURLEY: He would want us to ransack his tent and take his stash? Yeah, that sounds exactly like Sawyer.

CHARLIE: Well, he stole all this in the first place. I mean, people need food, they need medical supplies, they need [picks up a stack of Playpen magazine]… shocking amounts of pornography.

HURLEY: Dude. No wonder Sawyer was spending so many long periods of time in the tent with the flaps closed.

CHARLIE: Wow. I thought I’d seen it all, but… whoa, I didn’t even know that position was humanly possible.

HURLEY: Give me one of those, Dude. Wait… I don’t think these are Sawyer’s.

CHARLIE: What do you mean they’re not Sawyer’s? They’re in his tent.

HURLEY: Yeah, but check out the address stamp.

CAMERA zooms in on the label on the magazine:

c/o Beach
Mysterious Island
South Pacific

CHARLIE: Who the hell’s Paulo?


PAULO: Oh… uh… what are you guys doing here?

CHARLIE: And you are…?

HURLEY: Dude, we were, um, just reading some… books.

PAULO: I was, um…. I was just out hitting some rocks with golf balls, like I do every day, and… uh… I thought I… hit one in here?

CHARLIE: No golf rocks in here, brother.

HURLEY: No, but we, um, found your subscription.

PAULO [face goes white]: My….? Oh. You haven’t let Nikki see those, have you?

CHARLIE: Who the hell’s Nikki?


NIKKI: Who just said my name? What are you guys all doing here? Why are you all sitting around when there is work to be done???

CHARLIE: And you are…?

HURLEY: Oh [trying to hide the magazines behind himself]… we were just, um… trying to find some shade?

NIKKI: Oh my GOD! [reaches forward and snatches the book out of Hurley’s hand] NABOKOV?! You were in here reading Nabokov?! WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME ABOUT THIS, HURLEY?

HURLEY: Dude, why are you always saying that to…

NIKKI: This is smut. SMUT. I can’t believe you’re trying to infect my Paulo with this stuff. WHY are you hanging around these two lug-heads, Paulo?

PAULO: Nikki. I am going to need to have to ask you to get off my case right now.

CHARLIE [to Hurley]: Does he speak English?

NIKKI: And where is Jack? I know he would be putting a stop to this.


HURLEY: I already… told you. The Others kidnapped him. He’s on the other side of the island.


HURLEY: I… never mind.

PAULO: I want to sit here and be with one of the boys… wait. Be one of the boys.

NIKKI: Oh, get out of that tent, Paulo. I don’t know why you bother with these two.


CHARLIE: Who the hell were those two? [gasps] Do you think they were Others?

HURLEY: Dude, the Others are civilized human beings compared to those two. You know, since coming to the island, I’ve often wondered what’s more confusing: the fact that my numbers keep recurring, or the lyrics to your hit single.

CHARLIE: What do you mean? My lyrics are…

HURLEY: But those are old now. The new biggest mystery on this island? Why those two are suddenly talking to people.

CHARLIE: Wow… this position is with two men, five women, and a chair. I can’t believe they got them all into the same shot. “They all everybody…”

HURLEY: Dude. Don’t sing the song.


Anonymous said...

nathan on tonight's heroes: "if people knew what we were capable of, they'd round us all up and stick us in a lab on the middle of an island."

hee. i am so enjoying this little back-and-forth between lost and heroes. last week on lost, we had time-travel, references to "gannon rent a car" and a cameo by mohinder suresh's indian physicist pal, playing ... an indian physicist pal of desmond's. sounds like heroes is returning the favour tonight.

clever, ABC marketing department, very clever!

Anonymous said...

I totally caught that! I'm sure Nikki did as well! I think it'll be back and forth between these two shows, I doubt that Heroes and Lost world coexist, but it is a tantalizing thought isn't it?

The Chapati Kid said...

Oh man. Can you imagine if two rival channels actually got together and created two symbiotic shows that had to rely on each other to be understood?

This was funny, Nikki. I love the WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME, HURLEY?

The Question Mark said...

HAHAHA I love how Nikki pelts them with questions as soon as she enters that tent!
Charlie: Who the hell were they? (gasp) Do you think they were Others?