Sunday, November 07, 2010

Rock, Paper, Scissors...

I haven't talked about my kids on here recently, but last night my 6-year-old daughter had me laughing so hard I had to share it with you. Last night at the dinner table, she was asking to leave before finishing dinner. My husband said she had to finish. Finally she says, "Let's do rock, paper, scissors, Daddy, and if I win, I get to leave." He agreed to it (nice parenting there, papa). They punched their fists three times in the air, she was rock, he was scissors. Kid one, dad zero. "Best two out of three," says my husband.

Three fists pumps, and my daughter stops, appearing to do a thumbs-up. "What's THAT?!" my husband asked.


"There's no dynamite in rock paper scissors!"

"But you used it last week!"

He sheepishly admitted that yes, he had. Dynamite blasted rock. Kid two, Dad zero. My husband says, "Best three out of five."

Three fist pumps later, my husband is doing the thumbs-up dynamite, and my daughter looked like she was going to do paper but at the last minute flipped her hand vertically, waving it in the air slowly back and forth.

"Fire!" she shouts triumphantly.

"Wait, what?!"

"Fire. I win."

"You don't win! Dynamite would destroy fire."

"No, because if dynamite touched fire, then they'd BOTH blow up. So, I call it a tie."

And she got up and left the table.

Now I have to teach her Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock.


Benny said...

I LOVE your daughter... that is simply brilliant!

Verification word agrees with me: "Quite"

Jonathan said...

Holy cow. That's amazing!!!!

The Question Mark said...

haha Nikki, I think you've got a little genius-in-the-making on your hands there!
I was in an independent film once that was about Rock-Paper-Scissors tournaments. It was basically "Rocky", but instead of boxing, it was...well, rock-paper-scissors. The villain characters would often pull the Dynamite trick, which was apparently the biggest tabboo in the sport LoL

G Gray said...

She's as smart as her uncle! Luv it!

Joan Crawford said...

Haha! I lover her calm reaction to your husband's "What is that!?"

Dynamite is an awesome addition and wagging a hand back and forth should be the universal sign for fire from now on.

Joan Crawford said...

HA! The actual sign for "fire" looks like a gesture a dirty old man might make at a well-endowed woman.

Austin Gorton said...

Ha! Love it. She got him with her legal mumbo-jumbo!

yourblindspot said...

Awesome! Now if only we can figure out a way to work 'Dharma van' and 'dishwasher full of knives' in there...

Fred said...

How many additions to the game can your daughter include? Is there really a possibility of Rock, paper, scissors, fire, dynamite, lizard, Spock?

Spock extinguishes fire, but is blown up by dynamite. Paper is burnt by fire, but bans use of dynamite. Scissors melt in fire, but snip fuse of dynamite. And rock crushes fire, but is shattered in explosion of dynamite. Let the game conitnue.

Nikki Stafford said...

Fred: LOL! You know, later that night they were playing again and he did scissors and she did dynamite again, and he leaned over and snipped the wick. You two think alike!

TM Lawrence said...

The only fair wages for our youth given to parenting are frozen moments like those, moments in which our own creatively intelligent offspring pull back the curtain, point out the emperor's nakedness, and beat timeless, perfect, universal ro-sham-bo into submission. Thanks for sharing the gift!

Several years ago at work, a resident introduced a new decision-making tool that quickly spread and was, for a time, the hospital-wide standard to resolve impasse. I imagine your family will enjoy this variant, especially if you reflect on this being done by doctorally-prepared adults.

Cowboy, grizzly bear, ninja dude:
1) Opponents stand back-to-back, standard pre-duel position.
2) Each take one step forward away from each other.
3) Each spin to face opponent, striking pose and issuing appropriate sound effect:
CB: Draw pistols and shoot from hip;
GB: Raise claws and growl
ND: stealthy crouched karate chop

Cowboy wounds bear
Grizzly eats ninja
Ninja disarms cowboy

Forewarn your daughter (and husband who evidently is not a tremendous rule follower either) that neither indians with arrows, Jedis with lightsabers, nor any form of body armor may be brought into the game.

Blam said...

Nikki: Oh, gosh. That was precious in the totally best way.

Fred and TM: We shall all meet one day at NAN-Con and have tournaments of these games.

VW: supects — pl. n. [suh pekts] The people who probably ate your dinner.