Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Lost Haiku: Across the Sea

I would first like to wish a happy birthday to Josh Winstead, a regular commenter here and the guy who sent me those awesome CDs I talked about a few months back!! Happy birthday, Josh! :)

It's that time again! Time to haiku it up on a Tuesday. Tonight's episode, based on the non-spoilery response from fans who got to see it at the LOST Live event last week, should be awesome. And then... there's just a finale this Sunday. Wow. Amazing that this season flew by so quickly!!

Two babies. Two sides.
One in light clothes, one in dark.
They’re screwed from the start.

“You have given birth
To two beautiful new sons!
I’m so sorry.” WHAM!

“I love you. You were
My favourite. You’re special.
I’m so sorry.” WHAM!

So.... Jacob. You’re not...
special, per se. But you’re here.
Do you want a job?

“Is the light good, Mom?
Or bad?” “It’s good AND bad. Both.”
“Thanks for the vagueness.”

My life after LOST:
Curled up, fetal position,
Crying and unable to properly come up with the right number of syllables for haiku.

37 comments:

TM Lawrence said...

Are you telling me
Jacob was born before me?
Awesome, screwed again.

Batcabbage said...

I'm posting early today (it's 11pm Tuesday night here) because I got a job. Yay me!

Take a broken ship,
A pregnant girl, and what do
You get? LOST, baby!

Claudia? That’s a
Lovely name. Used to be mine.
On another show.

Answers lead to more
Questions!. And answers. But YOU
Can’t have them. So there!

A baby? Soon it
Will be mine! …er, I mean, let
Me help you give birth!

His name is Jacob!
What? Another one? Get
It out! Get it out!!!

“Oh, it’s another
Boy.” “I don’t know any more
Boy names. Jacob… 2?.”

Thank you for your kids.
All I have for you is…THIS
STONY ROCK OF DEATH!

“What’s that?” "It’s a game.”
“How do you know?” “I just do.”
“Fine, don’t tell me. Dick.”

“Jacob told you.” “Of
Course. Jacob can’t lie.” “He can’t
Play that game, either.”

“Can I keep the game?”
“That’s why I left it for you.”
“WHO’S PLAYING GAMES NOW??!!”

How the hell have we
Been here thirteen years without
Seeing these people?!

“We are here for a
Reason.” “What reason?” Us: “Yeah,
WHAT REASON, CJ???”

See, everyone? It’s
A light! That’s the Island! No
More mystery, eh?

Are you kidding me?
It’s a light? A light in us
All? SERIOUSLY??!!

No, no, it’s OK.
It’s a great show, it can be
A light! It can! Right?

OK, I’m OK.
It’s a light. I’m fine with that.
Whew. On with the show!

Hey, brother. It’s time
For our weekly game that you
Made up. What’s shakin’?

“What’s shakin’?” you ask?
I’m usin’ these here folk to
Get off the Island.

Really? Wow, that’s cool.
But mom said you can’t leave. And
You know what? You can’t.

Ah, but look at this.
Magical, flying daggers
That stick to this well!

Damn! That’s pretty cool.
So how does your flying knife
Help you leave this place?

I don’t know, but it
Has something to do with a
Donkey. And wheels... yeah.

Hi, Jacob’s brother.
He told me what you’re planning.
Nice wheel, by the way.

Mother, I’m special!
I made this well next to the
Light. I’m outta here!

OK, son. Have a
Parting gift. THIS STONY WELL
WALL OF DEATH! PUSH! CRUNCH!!!

How did I get here?
How did mom kill everyone?
Where’s my flying knife?!

“Son, we’re the same now.”
“Oh. OK. Do I have to be
Nuts?” “No, but it helps”

You can’t hurt me, bro!
Mom made it that way! How, I
Have no idea.

Yeah, I can’t kill you.
But I’m gonna chuck you in
The freak cave. So there!

A giant column
Of smoke comes out.
Oh crap. That
Really can’t be good.

Hey! No-Name and Mom
Are Adam and Eve! So where
Are Rose and Bernard?

humanebean said...

@Batcabbage: First
congratulations on your
new job! Awesome, dude!

Secondly, you rock;
what a fabulous run of
haiku to start off!

Teebore said...

"Answers will only
lead to more questions." "But why-"
"See? That's what I mean!"

Two babies are born.
"May I see them?" asks mother.
Crack! says the midwife.

Maybe Man in Black
turned evil because he was
always dressed in black?

humanebean said...

Mother: "It's a boy!
Oh, wait ... it's another boy!
Hmmmm ... must make new plan.

Sorry, Claudia -
we should have warned you that twins
would be a headache!

Newborn Brother thinks:
"All the good names were taken.
Call me Ishmael?"

humanebean said...

Damn insurance issues.
Pre-existing condition?
I'm not covered? *bonk*

TM Lawrence said...

Black and white. Or Grey.
Why do we miss the colors?
Does Lost contain bleach?

Nice, Mean: opposites.
Nice is not always Good; Bad
doesn't mean Evil.

Evil may wear White
but Evil's still Bad even
if Good comes from it.

Lessons taught by Lost.
Black smoke is not a good sign,
and red plants mean death.

Two winos, "mom", "son"
party by the golden cave.
Latin is mumbled.

"Guard the well of souls."
"I don't want to. It's his job!
He's your favorite."

"It was always you.
I see that now. What's His Face
ran off anyways."

"Hey mom, what happens
if I ignore your advice
and bask in gold light?"

"A fate worse than Death."
"And you know this how, fake mom?"
"Trial and Error."

Do evil deeds come
from our divine spark inside,
or are we tempted?

Is the divine spark
pure or is it muddled gray?
Do we think Lost knows?

Man in Black sought home;
instincts told him he was trapped
and dead mom confirmed.

But dead mom wore red
and stood in a golden glow,
more "Mother" than ghost.

Meanwhile, Jacob learned
of threads, warp, weft, and of loom.
Life's Great Tapestry.

Smokey measures you
and, if found lacking, kills you.
Jacob lets it slide.

From Esau, bombs, and
from Jacob, ankhs: End it Now
or Life Eternal.

Their departing gifts
declare their morality.
Lost is not obtuse.

It is not about
who is the good guy, Others,
EM pulses, time, or Hell.

Lost is finding "us"
in you and me, finding time
to clean up our mess.

If the Source runs dry
before brotherhood of man
comes to pass: Evil.

We must make a choice.
Smokey's bombs or Jacob's looms.
Ending or going on.

Teebore said...

"Oh man, Jacob gets
everything: the pool of
light, mom's love, a name..."

Shunk! goes the knife. Argh!
goes Jacob. TikaTika
goes the smoke monster.

"See Mom, there's this wheel
and I'll turn it and then I'll-"
Thud! "Whatever," says Mom.

TM Lawrence said...

Congrats to BC!
New Job, money in the bank.
Always a good

Humanebean's "Call me
Ishmael": way past White Whale,
Hunter or Farmer?

yourblindspot said...

Thanks, Nikki! For my birthday, I would like that rogue Galaxy satellite to splash down in the ocean and alleviate any potential finale interference possibility. Can someone get on that for me, please? It's giving me an ulcer.

Teebore said...

Can someone get on that for me, please? It's giving me an ulcer.

Seriously! Of all the times to want a giant laser capable of blasting satellites out of orbit...

Sorry, in haiku.

Oh, Rogue Satellite
what did we do to you?
Are you just lonely?

humanebean said...

Bravo, TM, bravo!
My personal favorite:
"Trial and Error"!

Batcabbage said...

Thanks, HB, TM!
Nice to be working again.
Money really IS good. :)

HB, "Twins would be
a headache" - man, one of the
Best haiku ever.

TM, Teebore and
Humanebean. So many good
haiku. Kudos, y'all!

humanebean said...

You see those "People"?
VERY Clan of the Cave Bear.
Where's Daryl Hannah?

humanebean said...

Warning to those peeps:
let one MIB move in,
"There goes neighborhood!"

JW said...

I'm loving all these. Batcabbage's is my favorite, though!

humanebean said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
humanebean said...

Kind of a shock when
you learn as an adult that
Mom was a 'stoner'.

humanebean said...

Don't you just hate it
when your Brother finds a game
and 'just knows' the rules?

"Ha! I win, Brother!"
"No, you can't do that, Jacob.
It's against the 'rules'."

"Rats! Then how 'bout THIS?"
"Nope, can't do that either, Jake."
"Er - how 'bout a Smoke?"

TM Lawrence said...

@ Batcabbage:

Rose & Bernard thought
they could retire from the strife.
Bet they're pulled back in...

humanebean said...

I have to admit
when I first watched this chapter
I was underwhelmed

We've waited so long
to learn more about why the
Island is "special"

and understand who
Jacob and MIB are
that I expected

the story to be
more definitive. But then
I got to thinking:

isn't that the point?
Every time that we think
we are at the start

we realize that
we've actually come in
in the middle!

The Oceanic crash
was the start for us - but the
middle for this crew

The flashbacks and the
flash-forwards showed us that the
"start" is hard to find

Same for the Others:
the chorus may change but the
song remains the same

Should we be surprised
to learn that Jacob arrived
in the middle too?

We all know now that
'how we got here' matters less
than what we do next.

Regardless of how
everything began here -
it only ends once.

Now we wait to see
if Smokey can stop the rest
from making 'progress'

Just six days from now,
we will all have to deal with
what 'The End" begins.

Cue Giacchino,
pluck my heartstrings twice more, sir
and help me get LOST

TM Lawrence said...

Socrates answered
questions with questions, Plato
tells us. He may lie.

Socratic method,
or Plato's literary
device: you decide.

Whichever the case,
Lost has taken it too far.
People want answers.

humanebean said...

That's the thing, TM
I've come to understand that
I love the questions.

Searching for answers
has given me greater joy
than finding them has.

Don't get me wrong, bro -
I wanna KNOW, too, but I
will miss not knowing.

TM Lawrence said...

Go HumaneBean, go!
Adam and Eve took a bite
and said, "who made us?"

Adam came up with
some farfetched fable about
his rib and some clay.

Eve, unsatisfied,
demanded better answers:
God stayed stone silent.

So Adam and Eve's
sons and daughters looked elsewhere
and saw man-like apes.

Darwin & Wallace
sailed seas, connected the dots
and braved holy fire.

Then they knew, just knew
the truth rests in DNA,
'til some kid spoke up:

"Where did DNA
come from?" Out pops a tall tale
to equal "The Rib"

Moral? Some questions
are better questions than others.
The ones unanswered.

Wanda said...

When LOST ends Sunday
how will I spend the extra
hours? still wondering


Who would have thought that
Haiku would make me wistful?
It's not over yet.

humanebean said...

"Previously on
LOST: people arrived on the
Island, a whole lot

of weird stuff happened,
folks got killed, smoke monsters were
involved, dead people spoke

civilizations
rose and fell, faith and science
warred with each other

protectors were named,
served, were killed and replaced by
other protectors

people came, they fought
they corrupted, they killed, but
it never ended

until now. Caught up?
Behold the final chapters
in this age-old tale:

Smokey. Candidates.
Somewhere, a dog named Vincent.
Widmore. Ben. Richard.

Most importantly,
Desmond. A sacrifice will
have to be made.

Whose will it be, then?
*SPOILER ALERT* I can tell
you - it will be ours."

humanebean said...

@Monsieur Chou Chauve-
Souris: still chuckling over
"STONY ROCK OF DEATH".

EvaHart said...

Brilliant haikus as usual everyone,
I know this isn't one but it had to be done! This is my first atempt which I kind of rushed so forgive my terrible rhyming!

Somewhere across the sea
somewhere waiting for me
my ‘mother’ stands on smokey sands
and watches the ships crash there

Somewhere across the sea
she's there waiting for me
If I only I could fly like Hurley-birds on high
then far away from here
I'd go, flying off this island

It's far beyond the glow
If only I had a hot air balloon
I hope with all my heart
I will leave this place soon

I’ll be happy when I’m home
Free at last, free to roam
Happy I'll be across the sea
and never again I'll leave

Wherever you all are, I hope you have a great time watching the finale and then discussing it here! Sadly I won't be watching it until next friday and attempting to stay spoiler free for when it airs in the UK, but I will be looking forward to the torrent of analysis and brilliant discussion I will find here next week!

Janet said...

All the fun of life
exists in the questions, see
so keep your answers.

Now if it were me,
I'd pull up a palm tree leaf
on that bit of beach

Stare at the ocean,
or Sawyer even better
stay put forever.

Humans biggest fault,
not accepting "I don't know"
need more light Mother.

Embrace mystery,
don't need things tied up with bows
just go with the flow.

Don't get me wrong folks,
I like to speculate lots.
Theories are big fun.

Nothing is black, white.
Unless the light is put out
Til then, life's a beach.

Rose, Bernard got it
Life is too short to chase Smoke
just watch from afar.

humanebean said...

All the answers lead
to more questions? Why is that?
Funny you should ask ...

Gillian Whitfield said...

I didn't think of another name besides Jacob
I don't think he will mind going by
Less than endearing pet names.
I want to hold - - WHAM!

Lost is near its End.
I know what I'll do
Jump into a bottomless pit
Is my plan to save from the
Lack of sadness

Jacob was feeling left out
Hurt, and confused
When his mother took him
Out to the spring
Angry was he
When his mother told him
That he is the new leader

Ambivalentman said...

Great haikus out here
Fun to both ready and enjoy
Only two eps left.

"Across the Sea" has
Divided fans into camps --
Two sides: Black and White.

I think that was the
Plan from the get-go for our
Intrepid writers.

After all, with LOST
nearly gone they still want us
to talk about it.

This episode was
Pure myth, meaning it was bound
To be quite cryptic.

Wish I had more time
To think up more haikus, but
The kids are calling...

Enjoy tonight, everyone!

Blam said...


They say it takes a
village to raise a child.
But Island Momma?

She got it backwards —
she raised her children and then
she took a village.

SonshineMusic i.e. Rebecca T. said...

@HumaneBean: Cue Giacchino,
pluck my heartstrings twice more, sir
and help me get LOST
Love. It.

One more Island birth-
Aaron, Ethan, Jacob and
man-without-a-name

A Frustrated Writer said...

I was wrapped in white,
which means I can't tell a lie.
I'm just not special.

Hi, I'm brother. Yeah.
You see, I don't get a name.
That makes me SPECIAL!

Ah, a baby boy!
Hmm, it seems my belly's still big...
Ooh! Can I see him?

A Frustrated Writer said...

Hmm, it seems I can't haiku...

Ah, a baby boy!
It seems my belly's still big...
Ooh, can I see him?

Joan Crawford said...

Happy Birthday, Joshua!!!

@Batcabbage - “Oh, it’s another
Boy.” “I don’t know any more
Boy names. Jacob… 2?.”


Hehehe! I know, right?

Thank you for your kids.
All I have for you is…THIS
STONY ROCK OF DEATH!


LOOOOOL!


@Teebore - Shunk! goes the knife. Argh!
goes Jacob. TikaTika
goes the smoke monster.

"See Mom, there's this wheel
and I'll turn it and then I'll-"
Thud! "Whatever," says Mom


Ahaha! Shunk!

@Humanebean and TM - Brilliant as always!