Friday, March 09, 2007

Buffy: The Moments that Made Us Cry
In other words, our favourites. I can think of so many things in this series that made me cry, and many of them were wordless (hence, not listed below) like Giles climbing his stairs slowly, anticipating Jenny waiting for him at the top; Willow crying in the school bathroom when she's realized Cordy and Xander are together; the gang in the alternate Wish universe, with Oz staking Willow without a second thought; Buffy dancing with Angel at the prom; the looks on everyone's faces when Buffy sings to them that she was in heaven; the look of triumph on Buffy's face as she stood on the edge of the hellmouth, and was no longer the only Slayer in the world. But the following are some of my favourite wordy moments. Be forewarned: if you're a Buffy fan, you'd better get some Kleenex. Even while formatting these for the blog, I had to keep saying, "Don't read them... don't read them..." And to make it even harder on you, I've included pictures. :) Enjoy!

ANGEL: I know this is hard.
BUFFY: What do you know about this? You’re never gonna die!
ANGEL: You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just gotta figure out a way...
BUFFY: I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!
GILES: Buffy, if the Master rises...
BUFFY: I don’t care! (calms down) I don’t care. Giles, I’m sixteen years old. I don’t wanna die.

GILES: In my years as... Watcher... I’ve buried... too many people. But Jenny was the first I’ve loved.
BUFFY: I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t kill him for you... for her... when I had the chance. I wasn’t ready. But I think I finally am. I can’t hold on to the past anymore. Angel has gone. Nothing’s ever gonna bring him back.

ANGEL: (softly) Buffy? (sobs) What’s going on? Where are we? I-I don’t remember.
BUFFY: (softly) Angel?
ANGEL: You’re hurt. Oh, Buffy... God. I... I feel like I haven’t seen you in months. Oh, my God, everything’s so muddled. I... Oh... Oh, Buffy... What’s happening?
BUFFY: (whispers reassuringly) Shh. Don’t worry about it. I love you.
ANGEL: I love you.
BUFFY: Close your eyes. (stabs him through)
ANGEL: Buffy...

BUFFY: Angel, please, you *have* to get inside.
ANGEL: It told me to kill you. You were in the dream. You know. It told me to lose my soul in you and become a monster again.
BUFFY: I know what it told you. What does it matter?
ANGEL: Because I wanted to! Because I want you so badly! I want to take comfort in you, and I know it’ll cost me my soul, and a part of me doesn’t care. Look, I’m weak. I’ve never been anything else. It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It’s the man.
BUFFY: You’re weak. Everybody is. Everybody fails. Maybe this evil did bring you back, but if it did, it’s because it needs you. And that means that you can hurt it. Angel, you have the power to do real good, to make amends. But if you die now, then all that you ever were was a monster. Angel, please, the sun is coming up!
ANGEL: Just go.
BUFFY: I won’t!
ANGEL: What, do you think this is simple? You think there’s an easy answer? You can never understand what I’ve done! Now go!
BUFFY: You are not staying here. I won’t let you!
ANGEL: I said LEAVE! (He jerks his arm free of her grasp. In her anger and desperation Buffy punches him. He reacts by shoving her away from him roughly, making her fall face forward, hard to the ground.)
ANGEL: (quietly to himself) Oh, my God...
BUFFY: No! No!
ANGEL: Am I a thing worth saving, huh? Am I a righteous man? The world wants me gone!
BUFFY: (tearfully) What about me? I love you so much... And I tried to make you go away... I killed you and it didn’t help. (crying) And I hate it! I hate that it’s *so* hard... and that you can hurt me *so* much. I know everything that you did, because you did it to me. Oh, God! I wish that I wished you dead. I don’t. (whispers) I can’t.
ANGEL: Buffy, please. Just this once... let me be strong.
BUFFY: Strong is fighting! It’s hard, and it’s painful, and it’s every day. It’s what we have to do. And we can do it together. But if you’re too much of a coward for that, then burn. If I can’t convince you that you belong in this world, then I don’t know what can. But do *not* expect me to watch. And *don’t* expect me to mourn for you, because... [snow begins to fall...]

BUFFY: When I hit him, it felt like my arm was broken, it hurt so much. I can’t be just a person. I can’t be helpless like that. Giles, please, we have to figure out what’s happening to me. (Giles opens his briefcase and pulls out the case with the syringe. He opens it, lets out a deep sigh and sets it in front of her.)
GILES: It’s an organic compound... of muscle relaxants and adrenal suppressers. The effect is temporary. You’ll be yourself again in a few days.
GILES: It’s a test, Buffy. It’s given to the Slayer once she... uh, well, if she reaches her eighteenth birthday. The Slayer is disabled and then entrapped with a vampire foe whom she must defeat in order to pass the test. The vampire you were to face... has escaped. His name is Zackary Kralik. As a mortal, he murdered and tortured more than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane. When a vamp...
BUFFY: (sobbing angrily) You bastard. All this time, you saw what it was doing to me. All this time, and you didn’t say a word!
GILES: I wanted to.
BUFFY: (sobs) Liar.
GILES: In matters of tradition and protocol, I must answer to the Council. My role in this... was very specific. I was to administer the injections and to direct you to the old boardinghouse on Prescott Lane.
BUFFY: (crying and shaking her head) I can’t... I can’t hear this.
GILES: Buffy, please.
BUFFY: Who are you? How could you do this to me?
GILES: I am deeply sorry, Buffy, (reaches out to her) and you have to understand...
BUFFY: If you touch me, I’ll kill you.

JONATHAN: We have one more award to give out. Is Buffy Summers here tonight? Did she, um... This is actually a new category. First time ever. I guess there were a lot of write-in ballots, and, um, the prom committee asked me to read this. “We’re not good friends. Most of us never found the time to get to know you, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t noticed you. We don’t talk about it much, but it’s no secret that Sunnydale High isn’t really like other high schools. A lot of weird stuff happens here.”
CROWD: Zombies! Hyena people! Snyder! (laughter)
JONATHAN: “But, whenever there was a problem or something creepy happened, you seemed to show up and stop it. Most of the people here have been saved by you, or helped by you at one time or another. We’re proud to say that the Class of ‘99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history.” (applause from the crowd) “And we know at least part of that is because of you. So the senior class, offers its thanks, and gives you, uh, this.”
(Jonathan produces a multicolored, glittering, miniature umbrella with a small metal plaque attached to the shaft.)
JONATHAN: It’s from all of us, and it has written here, “Buffy Summers, Class Protector.”

BUFFY: (calling) Hey, Mom.
(She turns, sees some flowers on the table beside the door.)
(She opens the card that came with the flowers. Shot of the card, which reads: Thank you for a lovely evening. See you soon… Brian. )
BUFFY: (to herself) Still a couple of guys getting’ it right. (calls) Hey. Flower-gettin’ lady. Want me to pick Dawn up from school?(No answer, but we see something on the couch out of focus in the background)
BUFFY: Mom? What are you doing?(she sees Joyce, lifeless on the couch)
BUFFY: (quieter) Mom? (even quieter) Mom? (very quietly) Mommy?

ANYA: (desperate) But I don’t understand!
(Willow and Xander look at her in surprise.)
ANYA: (crying) I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s, (sniffling) there’s just a body, and I don’t understand why she just can’t get back in it and not be dead anymore. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid. (still teary) And, and Xander’s crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch ever, and she’ll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.

DAWN: But I need her. I don’t care if she... I’m not like you, Buffy. I don’t have anybody.
BUFFY: What? Of course you do! You have me!
DAWN: No, I don’t. You won’t even look at me. It’s so obvious you don’t want me around.
BUFFY: That’s not true.
DAWN: Yes it is. Mom died, and it’s like you don’t even care. BUFFY: Of course I care! How can you even think that?
DAWN: How can I not? You haven’t even cried. You’ve just been running around like it’s been some big chore. Cleaning up after Mom’s mess. (Buffy slaps her)
BUFFY: Dawn, I’ve been working, I’ve been busy because I have to...
DAWN: No, you’ve been avoiding me!
BUFFY: I’m not! I have to do these things, ‘cause, ‘cause when I stop, then she’s really gone. And I’m trying, Dawn, I am really trying to take care of things. But I don’t even know what I’m doing! Mom always knew.
DAWN: Nobody’s asking you to be mom.
BUFFY: Well who’s gonna be if I’m not? Huh, Dawn? Have you even thought about that? Who’s gonna make things better? Who’s gonna take care of us?
DAWN: Buffy...
BUFFY: I didn’t mean to push you away, I didn’t. I just, I couldn’t let you see me... Oh god, Dawny. I don’t know what we’re gonna do. I’m scared!

TARA: Willow?
WILLOW: It’s okay. Let’s just start slow today. Buffy can I have that... (accepts applesauce from Buffy & begins feeding Tara) Here you go. That’s my girl.
DAWN: Can I help? (takes over feeding)
BUFFY: (to Willow) What are you gonna need?
WILLOW: I don’t know. They gave me a lot of stuff to keep her calm. They said I might have to restrain her at night. Sometimes she’s fine. She looks at me, and... she’s fine.
BUFFY: I’m sorry I couldn’t...
WILLOW: It’s okay. I can do this. I’m gonna take care of her. Even if she never... she’s my girl.
BUFFY: I understand.
WILLOW: I know you do. (to Tara) Hear that, baby? You’re my always.

BUFFY: Listen to me! Please, there’s not a lot of time, listen. (
we see her talking to Dawn, but don’t hear. Then she turns and swan dives. We start to hear what she said to Dawn, over images of Dawn crying, Spike, Giles, Xander, Anya, Willow, &Tara discovering Buffy’s body in the rubble.)
BUFFY: (voiceover) Dawn listen to me. Listen. I love you. I will *always* love you. This is the work I have to do. Tell Giles... Tell Giles I figured it out. And... I’m okay. Give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now -- you have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me.


SPIKE: Buffy, if you’re in ... if you’re in pain ... or if you need anything... or if I can do anything for you...
BUFFY: You can’t.
SPIKE: Well, I haven’t been to a hell dimension just of late, but I do know a thing or two about torment.
BUFFY: I was happy. Wherever I ... was ... I was happy. At peace. I knew that everyone I cared about was all right. I knew it. Time ... didn’t mean anything ... nothing had form ... but I was still me, you know? And I was warm ... and I was loved ... and I was finished. Complete. I don’t understand about theology or dimensions, or ... any of it, really ... but I think I was in heaven. And now I’m not. I was torn out of there. Pulled out ... by my friends. Everything here is ... hard, and bright, and violent. Everything I feel, everything I touch ... this is Hell. Just getting through the next moment, and the one after that ... (softly) knowing what I’ve lost... (gets up, walks towards the sunlight, pauses, not looking back) They can never know. Never. (continues into the sunlight)

GILES: (angry) You were lucky.
WILLOW: I wasn’t lucky. I was amazing. And how would you know? You weren’t even there.
GILES: If I had been, I’d have bloody well stopped you. The magicks you channeled are more ferocious and primal than anything you can hope to understand, (even more angry) and you are lucky to be alive, you rank, arrogant amateur!
WILLOW: You’re right. The magicks I used are very powerful. I’m very powerful. And maybe it’s not such a good idea for you to piss me off. (beat) Come on, Giles, I-I don’t want to fight. I ... Let’s not, okay? I’ll think about what you said, and you ... try to be happy Buffy’s back.
GILES: We still don’t know where she was ... or what happened to her. And I’m far from convinced she’s come out of all this undamaged.

SPIKE: So, you come for a bit of cold comfort? The bed’s a bit blown up, but then, that was never our-
BUFFY: I’m not here to- And I’m not here to bust your chops about your stupid scheme, either. That’s just you. I should have remembered.
SPIKE: So this is worse then, is it, this is you telling me-
BUFFY: It’s over.
SPIKE: I’ve memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn’t change what you want.
BUFFY: I know that. I do want you. Being with you ... makes things ... simpler. For a little while.
SPIKE: I don’t call five hours straight a little while.
BUFFY: I’m using you. I can’t love you. I’m just ... being weak, and selfish...
SPIKE: Really not complaining here.
BUFFY: ...and it’s killing me. I have to be strong about this. I’m sorry ... William.

ANYA: (smiling) So ... we’re ready now. Let’s get married.
XANDER: I... I’m not. I’m not ready. I can’t, Ahn, I’m sorry.
ANYA: But it wa— it wasn’t real. What he showed you, it wasn’t real.
XANDER: I know it wasn’t real. But it could be.
ANYA: What was it? Was it about me? ‘Cause he wanted you to hate me, Xander.
XANDER: It wasn’t you. It wasn’t you I was hating. I had these thoughts, and ... fears before this. Maybe we just went too fast.
ANYA: Look, everybody has thoughts. It’s natural, it doesn’t mean that, that getting married is wrong.
XANDER: I know, I know...
ANYA: (desperate) Look, you’re just shaken up, okay? You just calm down and we’ll start over, okay? (Xander looks at his arguing parents)
XANDER: (tearful) We can’t start over. If this is a mistake, it’s forever, and ... I don’t want to hurt you. Not that way. I’m sorry. I am so sorry.

XANDER: O-oh! Okay... you had to do it. Because he was there. Like Mt. Everest. (a beat) Like I used to be.
ANYA: And then you weren’t. You left me, Xander. At the altar. I don’t owe you anything.
XANDER: So you go out and bang the first body you can find? Dead or alive?
ANYA: Where do you get off judging me?
XANDER: When this is your solution to our problems; I hurt you, and you get me back. Very mature.
ANYA: No, the mature solution is for you to spend your whole life telling stupid, pointless jokes so that no one will notice that you are just a scared, insecure little boy!
XANDER: I’m not joking now. You let that evil, soulless thing touch you. You wanted me to feel something? Congratulations, it worked. I look at you — and I feel sick — ‘cause you had sex with that.
SPIKE: It was good enough for Buffy..
XANDER: Shut up and leave her out of...(looks at Buffy & realizes) ANYA: (realizing) Buffy.
BUFFY: Xander—
XANDER: I don’t want to know this, I don’t want to know any of this. (stalks off. Buffy shoots Spike a daggered look and goes too)
SPIKE: Bloody Xander, buggered up everything. You know, I wish —
ANYA: (weary) Don’t.

XANDER: Sweet fancy Moses! Where the hell did he get — (sees Buffy is shot) Oh god. Buffy? Oh god... oh god... Buffy...
(up in Willow & Tara’s room, a stray bullet hits Tara, sprays her blood on Willow’s white shirt)
TARA: Your shirt...
WILLOW: Tara? Tara? baby, come, on baby. Get up. Please. Tara... No... no... NO…

(**This following one gets my vote for the one that makes me weep buckets)
WILLOW: Proserpexa...Let the cleansing fires from the depths burn away the suffering souls, and bring sweet death.
(Xander suddenly breaks the beam between her & the effigy)
XANDER: Hey, black-eyed girl...Whatcha doin’?
WILLOW: Get out of here.
XANDER: Oh no...You’re not the only one with powers, you know. You may be a hopped up uber-witch, but this carpenter can dry-wall you into the next century.
WILLOW: I’m not joking, Xander. Get out of my way. Now.
(flings him back, Xander rises, blocks the beam again)
WILLOW: You can’t stop this.
XANDER: Yeah, I get that. It’s just - where else am I gonna go? You’ve been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end - where else would I want to be?
WILLOW: Is this the master plan? You’re going to stop me by telling me ya love me?
XANDER: Well, I was gonna walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but it seemed kinda cartoony.
WILLOW: Still making jokes.
XANDER: I’m not joking. I know you’re in pain. I can’t imagine the pain you’re in. And I know you’re about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid and hey, still want to hang. You’re Willow.
WILLOW: Don’t call me that!
XANDER: The first day of kindergarten you cried ‘cause you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You’ve come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion... but the thing is, yeah. I love you. I love crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary veiny Willow. So if I’m going out, it’s here. If you wanna kill the world, well then start with me. I’ve earned that.
WILLOW: You think I won’t?
XANDER: It doesn’t matter. I’ll still love you.
WILLOW: Shut up. (she magically cuts his face)
XANDER: I love you. (she magically slices at his chest)
XANDER: I... love -- (she blasts him, but he gets back up & staggers towards her)
WILLOW: Shut up. (she blasts him again, weaker)
XANDER: I love you, Willow.
WILLOW: Stop...(weak blast)
XANDER: I love you.
WILLOW: Stop! (she punches at him with her fists, breaks down crying in his arms, her hair turning back to red)
XANDER: (softly) I love you.

DAWN: (to Xander) What’s up?
XANDER: Aw, I’m just thinking about the girls. It’s a harsh gig, being a potential. Just being picked out of a crowd, danger, destiny, (grins) plus if you act now, death.
DAWN: They can handle it.
XANDER: Yeah. They’re special, no doubt. The amazing thing is, not one of them will ever know, not even Buffy.
DAWN: Know what?
XANDER: How much harder it is for the rest of us.
DAWN: No way. They’ve got—
XANDER: Seven years, Dawn. Working with the slayer. Seeing my friends get more and more powerful. A witch. A demon. Hell, I could fit Oz in my shaving kit, but come a full moon, he had a wolfy mojo not to be messed with. Powerful. All of them. And I’m the guy who fixes the windows.
DAWN: Well, you had that sexy army training for a while, and—and the windows really did need fixing.
XANDER: I saw what you did last night.
DAWN: Yeah, I— (embarrassed) I guess I kinda lost my head when I thought I was the slayer.
XANDER: You thought you were all special. Miss Sunnydale 2003. And the minute you found out you weren’t, you handed the crown to Amanda without a moment’s pause. You gave her your power.
DAWN: (shrugs) The power wasn’t mine.
XANDER: They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie, to be the one who isn’t chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody’s watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary. (stands, kisses her forehead, starts to walk out of the room)
DAWN: (tears welling in her eyes, calls after him) Maybe that’s your power.
DAWN: Seeing. Knowing.
XANDER: Maybe it is. Maybe I should get a cape.
DAWN: Cape is good.
XANDER: Yeah. (leaves the room)

BUFFY: Oh, no, I just— I should really get back. I want to get everyone started on this. I think we’re really close to something.
XANDER: It’s OK. It’s gotta be done. And I might see you tonight, without depth perception, of course, but... still. (smiles)
WILLOW: So, I guess you’re stuck with me then, huh? Let’s order some cherry-flavored off-brand gelatin, and then I think we’ll be up for a rousing game of—
XANDER: I might need a parrot.
XANDER: Well, to go with the eye patch, to really complete the look. I think I still have that costume from Halloween.
WILLOW: Yeah, and don’t underestimate the impact of a peg leg. Maybe the hospital can hook you up with a nice one. Maybe they have a 2-body-parts for the price of one kind of deal.
XANDER: Oh, you know what the best part is? No one will ever make me watch jaws 3-D again.
WILLOW: Yeah, and, (tries to smile) you’ll never have to... (tries not to cry)
XANDER: (pained) Oh, Willow... please don’t.

FAITH: Everybody out now!(full scale retreat ensues)
ANDREW: (shocked to find himself alive, Anya dead) Why?(outside)
PRINICIPAL WOOD: The bus. Get them on the bus!
GILES: Everybody! This way!(inside)
XANDER: (calls out) Anya! Anya!
(Dawn pulls him away, he never sees her body)
(inside the bus)
VI: (to the wounded Rona) Look at me! This is nothing! Stay awake! This is nothing!
ANDREW: (to himself) Why didn’t I die?
(Buffy leaps from building to building, keeping pace with the schoolbus until she can leap to its roof. As the bus races out of town, Sunnydale collapses into a giant pit behind them)
FAITH: Ease off. We’re clear.
(Bus pulls over. Buffy comes off the roof and Dawn tackles her in a hug)
GILES: I don’t understand. What did this?
BUFFY: Spike.
(the “Welcome to Sunnydale” sign wavers and then topples into the giant pit)

Thank you, Joss Whedon. Thank you thank you thank you.


Crissy Calhoun said...

ok. i can only read the first half. ohmigod. phew.

tash & i are watching the last three buffy episodes this weekend....

Michelle Rowen said...

Yup. You had me at Class protector.

I'm so glad you included the Xander/Dawn scene. That one stands out as a character defining scene for me, for both of their characters.

I also weeped at the final scene just before the big battle when the main four had a last "chat" just like the past seven years hadn't changed them. It was a perfect moment.


The Chapati Kid said...

Fighting back tears now... So many wonderful memories. I can't believe a bunch of people pulled out of someone's head can be so real.

Ian said...

Even if I was not already in a shattered emotional state, I still would have cried at each one of these.




[Snow begins to fall]

Amber V said...

I was actually crying just reading those. what really got me was anya dying. those scenes were amazingly sad thank you so much for making a blog about that. every other blog about this show is about the sex or the action, but never the drama.